Jock.
Meathead.
Bully.
When people thought of Indigo Zap, they often had those three words come to mind.
Ever since the track tryouts of freshman year, everyone with even a passing interest in sports had realized that Indigo Zap was different. That had been made clear with the unshakable confidence Zap had shown in her challenge to the then-captain of the Crystal Prep track team, First Snow: for them to do just one lap around the track, with Indigo boasting that she would leave First Snow ‘in the dust’. The freshman’s claim had been easily substantiated, as despite giving her opponent a 5-second head start, Indigo had finished her lap before Snow had even rounded the final corner.
In one fell swoop, Indigo Zap had solidified that any team at Crystal Prep would be foolish not to take her. So, when she had finally decided on soccer as her sport of choice, her abilities were put on display for all to see.
The choice had garnered Indigo much respect from the faculty, and even more from many students, who practically insisted on seeing their school win. And her reputation only continued to expand, as the blue-haired girl had always seemed eager to show off how amazing she was.
From the time she’d matched the captain of the Boys’ Weightlifting team in a contest of strength, to her continued excellence on the soccer field, to her ability to get tackled by their school’s quarterback and shrug it off like it was nothing. Each and every one of those incidents were eaten up by the rumor mill, and made her something of a legend.
She even had a nickname, stemming from the fact that they hadn’t lost a game since she joined the team. She was known as Indigo the Invincible.
But some days, even the ‘Invincible’ Indigo Zap needed a break.
Currently, she sat in her bedroom, pencil dancing lines across one of the last pages in her sketchbook. While it might have been a school day, the girl had gotten out of it by merely asking nicely. With parents as doting as hers, all Indigo had to do was play it up a little, and she was free to skip, effectively netting herself a three-day weekend. One which she desperately needed. Even now, as she finished a little drawing of a cartoon pegasus, the stress of the last few weeks still weighed upon her.
There was a whole other side to being Indigo the Invincible that was painful to endure.
No one dared say it to Indigo’s face, but she knew the whispers. Her boastful nature and subsequent demonstrations of her physical prowess had as many detractors as fans. And with Crystal Prep’s all consuming, high-stakes rumor mill in play, it was only a matter of time before people started twisting her athletic accomplishments.
Like when she had matched the Boys’ Weightlifting team? Apparently she had ‘emasculated’ them.
Or her incredible performances during soccer games? Those only proved she was a ‘spotlight hog’.
Her 2nd place spot academically? She was ‘obviously bullying someone into doing her work’. Who, exactly? No one knew, but apparently she was…
Indigo had heard the term ‘suffering from success’ before, but she’d never thought it could be so literal. And of course, she absolutely despised that her attempts to make herself seem larger than life were interpreted as attempts to put everyone else down.
Such a thing couldn’t be further from the truth. It had merely been an attempt to ‘sell herself’ to the people watching; her parents were both in real estate, and they had always told her how important confidence was. To think that her attempt to get on a team, or simple attempts to make friends, could somehow all end up so poorly… It was disheartening, to say the least.
And all because she could only really share one piece of herself…
As Indigo stepped away from her sketchbook, she turned to the closet door, and looked at herself in the full-length mirror attached to it. And who she saw staring back almost seemed like a stranger.
The Indigo Zap that she was used to seeing had her hair swept back. But this girl in the mirror wore hers down, curling at the ends, but otherwise completely straight. Gone too was the Crystal Prep uniform, replaced instead with a baby blue sports bra and bright pink pajama pants. Nowhere on her were her usual wristbands, nor any of her many piercings, nor even her signature goggles.
Even her own eyes seemed alien, with those honey-colored orbs currently hidden behind a pair of big, round, gold-framed spectacles.
She had never showed off this Indigo Zap to anyone at Crystal Prep. Only her friends Lemon Zest and Lime Candy even knew she wore glasses at all. Indigo had kept that a closely guarded secret. She had many secrets kept close by and protected, knowing in her heart that even something as simple as her sweet tooth might open her up to scrutiny.
To everyone else, this Indigo in the mirror might as well be a completely different person. Heck, half of the time, Indigo herself could hardly believe this was her. But she could still tell they were the same because of one distinct, unchanging feature:
Her muscles.
Despite how much she hated the rumor regarding her grades, Indigo almost couldn’t fault the student body for it. Being so athletic and so intelligent at the same time almost seemed unfair. But it wasn’t like she had ever asked for this. However much ice cream she enjoyed, or even if she deliberately tried to avoid exercise when she wasn’t at school, her tone never seemed to atrophy. She had more muscle definition than any girl in school, and physical strength in abundance for it.
The very same strength with which she had left a girl half-blind years prior…
Even from a young age, this power had always been with her, and had only grown over the last decade. Up until 8th grade, Indigo had gone out of her way to use it as little as possible, especially after that incident. But it had been made clear during one little race that nothing short of being in a coma would make this go away. Puberty and her training with the high school soccer team only further enhanced her physicality, and over all that time, she had gone from viewing it as a curse, to a blessing, and now back to a curse.
Indigo knew of the whispers of ‘bully’, ‘meathead’, and so on. Some days, she felt like the word freak was what they should be saying. After all, that word actually felt accurate…
The star athlete of Crystal Prep couldn’t stand to look at herself anymore, and yanked her closet door open. Peeling off her layers, they were very quickly replaced with a new set of clothes. The baggiest jeans she had, coupled with her biggest hoodie. It wasn’t even particularly cold out, but that didn’t matter to Indigo right now. As long as she could cover as much skin as possible, that was the only part she was concerned with.
When she finally exited the closet, Indigo gave herself one last once-over in the mirror.
To her delight, the hoodie and jeans succeeded at their given mission. The baggy top hid her biceps and abs, and the jeans went well with it, while hiding her muscular legs from sight.
And as the old adage goes: out of sight, out of mind.
“Indi, sweetie! Lunch is ready!”
The sweet sound of her mother’s voice pulled Indigo from her thoughts, and she headed downstairs with a smile on her face. Lunch always helped, and it was hard to be sad about anything when enjoying a meal with family.
A quick trip downstairs to the dining room revealed to her a sandwich on the table. Egg & tuna salad, by the look of it—Indigo’s longtime favorite. Her mother, Social Butterfly, was over by the fridge, putting away the leftovers for later. Despite still being dressed for work, when mother dearest heard her daughter wanted to stay home, she often chose to take calls for the day at home, so that she could make sure Indigo was taken care of.
Both of her parents had always been attentive to her like that. Indigo considered herself lucky she had been adopted by such loving people.
But such attention was a double-edged sword, sometimes.
“Sweetie, why are you wearing that… thing?” she asked in confusion. “It’s hardly cold, inside or out.”
Indigo rubbed the back of her neck, chuckling nervously. “I just felt like wearing it, mom. That’s all…”
“Are you sure?” the older woman asked, approaching her daughter. “I know you said you’re not sick, but I don’t want you burning up.”
“Y-yeah, totally. It’s fine…”
As her mother continued to approach, the younger girl winced at how unsure she had sounded with that last line. She wasn’t a terrible liar, per se, but if anyone could read her like a book…
“Indi, is there another reason you wanted to stay home today?”
…It was Mom.
“It’s…” Indi hesitated, not really able to meet her mother’s gaze anymore.
She wished she could explain the feeling inside her heart, but words always seemed to fail her in moments like this. Maybe if she could talk to someone about it, rather than her mind freezing up and being unable to articulate, things would be better than they were.
But instead… she defaulted to her usual response. “... It’s just one of those days, mom.”
Mother didn’t know what Indigo even meant by ‘those days’, but the look on her face said it all.
“Oh, sweetie…” she said, pulling her daughter into an embrace, and gently stroking her hair. “It’ll be okay, I promise. Whatever it is, momma will make it better, alright?”
Those words should have made her feel better than they actually did.
After sitting down to have her lunch, Indigo took some solace in how it tasted so great. She was happy to be home, where she could step away from her problems, even if just for a little bit. Crystal Prep seemed so far away when she wasn’t there, when she didn’t have to deal with all of the hearsay and negativity. Or when she didn’t have to live up to her teammates’ expectations as Indigo the Invincible.
But Indigo knew she wasn’t the only one to deal with such things. She knew what they said about Lemon Zest and Lime Candy, or about people like Sugarcoat and Sour Sweet. And this knowledge led to paranoia, constantly fearing what they might latch onto if they knew anything else about Indigo herself. Loving to compete had turned into her being a bully. What would the other students think of her drawing magic horses? Or her various body image issues? Or her fear of lightning?
Indigo shuddered at the mere thought.
It wasn’t long before her sandwich was gone, and Indigo left with a simple ‘thank you’ and nothing more. As much as Mom might have promised to try and make things better, the blue-haired girl much preferred the idea of just laying down and thinking about anything other than school. Especially anything other than her reputation.
Sometimes… Indigo wanted an escape from herself. A chance to be someone she didn’t feel comfortable being at school. Someone she didn’t feel comfortable being in front of… well, most anyone.
They called her Indigo the Invincible. But most days, she felt like porcelain.
That was why she tried so hard. Indigo dressed herself up with her boasting and her competitive nature, not to mention her sportbands and piercings and even her goggles, trying to live up to the hype as best she could. She wanted to be strong, to have people like her, and to prove to others how cool she really was.
And more than anything, she wanted to be invincible. But no matter how much she dressed herself up…
In the end, porcelain is still porcelain. And it was only a matter of time before cracks would inevitably start to show.