//------------------------------// // 5. The Intercreatural Situation Is Intensifying // Story: The Witless // by Reviewfilly //------------------------------// It was late in the night. Applejack was enjoying resting in her own bed again, lulled to sleep by the familiar song the wind sang to her as it rushed past the orchard. She had just lazily turned to her other side and scratched her flank, when suddenly the sounds of Winona’s barks rang through the air and dispelled her lull. The farmpony groaned as she climbed out of the bed. She rubbed her eyes and half-unconsciously stumbled down the stairs to check the cause of the commotion outside. It took her a bit of effort to find matches in the half-gloom, but finally she was able to light a small lantern. She winced from the sudden light, her eyes complaining from the unnatural brightness. Applejack blinked a few times and once she felt like she could see properly again, she opened the door leading outside. As she peered into the darkness beyond, her lamp revealed two dark-coated unicorns standing on the porch. Applejack had never seen them before. Her eye flicked to their chests, but to her surprise there was no Moon sigil adorning them. They stared at Applejack intently, though their faces remained impassive. Winona stood near them, her tail and ears pulled in. She growled and yapped helplessly at the intruders, occasionally taking a step closer, then jumping back. When she saw the door open, she darted inside the house. “Are you Applejack?” asked one of the unicorns, his deep voice as unreadable as his face. “Yup,” she answered, suppressing a yawn. “What can I do ya two for?” “You’re coming with us.” There was no urgency in the voice, nor any particular emotion, but something told Applejack the situation was non-negotiable. She couldn’t help but shake her head lightly and chuckle. “So, there were apples after all?” she asked, nodding towards the kitchen. The other two didn’t reply. “It just doesn’t fit into my head.” She sniffed. “Why did you lot even let me out in the first place then? I was just about to get used to my cell.” The unicorns continued to stare at her, without as much as flicking an ear. Applejack’s inner flame snuffed out just as suddenly as it had lit and her shoulders slumped. “Fine. Can I at least say goodbye to my family?” Still no reply. Applejack waited a few seconds for approval, but when it didn’t come she shrugged and went back inside, taking the lantern with herself and bathing the two in darkness again. She crept into her sister’s room and planted a kiss on Apple Bloom’s forehead, who smiled in her sleep, but didn’t wake. Then she slunk out just as quietly and entered the other room, giving a gentle hug to her brother. Finally, she trotted back to the door, passing Winona on the way out. The dog whined quietly as she sensed the tenseness in Applejack’s steps, but as the farmpony gave her a few scratches behind her ear, she slowly relaxed and splayed herself out on the carpet. The door closed behind her with a soft click. Applejack was outside. Wordlessly, the two unicorns turned around and began to trot towards the darkness. Applejack followed them. While they walked she glanced back for a second, looking at the farmhouse dimly illuminated by the moonlight one more time. A tangled knot formed in her belly as her home slowly shrank behind them. She closed her eyes and looked forwards. The less she thought about this the easier it’d be, she reassured herself. After a few minutes they arrived at a black carriage. Applejack hardly even noticed the vehicle at first, it blended so well into the night. Two pegasi stood in front of them, waiting for their arrival. One of the unicorns stepped next to the carriage’s door and opened it. He nodded towards the seat inside, and so Applejack climbed in and sat down. The others took the seats on her sides. Without warning, one of them reached out with his magic and tied a cloth around her eyes. Applejack’s stomach clamped down on the knot, as even the little light she previously had was snuffed out. For a moment she considered removing the blindfold. Her hooves weren’t bound, after all… but then her captors didn’t seem like the forgetful sort. No, upon second thought, she realised they probably didn’t need to. Applejack sighed and let go of her rebellious idea. Causing a scene would only hurt her chances, so she might as well conserve her energy and see this through. The carriage lurched forwards and took off, soaring through the air. It made wide left and right turns, causing Applejack to occasionally bump into her silent captors. “Where are we going?” No reply. A few seconds or maybe minutes passed—it was hard to tell—and she finally worked up the courage to speak again. “Are you exiling me after all?” she asked, lowering her voice to a near-whisper. Stubborn silence. Feeling like she was as good as done, an odd sense of liberating joy filled Applejack. The knot slowly unfurled and she suddenly began to feel much lighter. Even if it was a terrible idea, she couldn’t help but continue talking. “Just tell me, honestly. I really hate surprises. It’s not like knowin’ would change anything. We all eventually get what’s coming,” she mused, before chuckling a little. “You too folks, you’ll see.” When even this left them unfazed, she became a bit ticked off. “Are your throats plugged with apples or what?” Absolutely nothing. Applejack rolled her still-covered eyes. She gave up trying. A little while later the carriage finally arrived. Before she was allowed to get out, the cloth was finally removed from her eyes. Applejack clambered off the carriage and glanced around, raising a hoof in front of her and blinking blearily from the sudden light. As far as she could tell, they were in Canterlot, though she had no idea where exactly. The only thing she knew was that she was standing in the front garden of a marble house that looked just like all the others around it. One of her captors nodded towards the door. Applejack understood the order. While she stepped up to the door—feeling like it was now or never—she turned around. “Well, folks, it was an apple-buckin’ delight meeting you two. But remember, not a word about this,” she said with a wink and a smile, before walking inside. Behind the door she found herself in a barren, dirty-white corridor, filled with little more than dust and the occasional flickering oil lamp to guide her deeper inside. Every once in a while a door interrupted the monotonousness of the wall, but every one of them was either padlocked or had its knob missing, and one of them was even bricked up. Applejack gulped a little as she trotted ever forwards, the tinges of anxiety gathering in her stomach once more. At the end of the corridor there was a heavy, double-winged door made from dark wood. What’s more, unlike the rest of them, it even had a handle. Seeing no other choice, Applejack grabbed it and twisted. To her surprise, the door was unlocked. Though it took the mare quite a bit of effort, she slowly but surely managed to push it open. The room that opened up in front of her was completely unlike everything she had seen in that building or anywhere else so far. Its trinket-filled walls were painted a mix of cheerful pink, white, and brown. Kitchen appliances of various shapes and forms—spatulas, bowls, whisks, among many other things—were strewn around, along with bright furniture that someone had tied balloons to, and books about cooking with several colourful bookmarks hanging out of them. A giant chandelier illuminated the room, its cast iron arms made colourful by streamers haphazardly thrown all over them. A large grandfather clock ticked on to itself in the back, similarly messy from the onslaught of streamers. The only thing that could have been called tidy was the large table dominating the middle of the room with chairs around it for ten ponies. Applejack trotted deeper inside and her hoof nearly slipped on some strewn-around confetti. She shook off the colourful paper stuck to her leg and blinked a few times. “What the hay?” she muttered to herself in quiet incredulity, suddenly wondering if she fell into delirium. But no, everything pointed towards her perceiving the truth. As far as Applejack could tell she was alone in the room. At first this reassured her, but despite the cheerful decor, the near-silence, the foreboding ticking, and the sheer weirdness of the situation slowly drove her to feel more than a bit on the edge. “Uhm, hello?” she called out, her voice ringing abnormally loud in the quiet, despite how much it wavered. The furthest wall from the door was covered by a huge painting which reached to the bottom of the floor. It depicted Nightmare Moon staring into the distance as she sat in the tallest tower of Castle Canterlot, while the Moon rose behind her. As Applejack stared at the painting, suddenly a door opened between the alicorn’s armor-covered legs and a mare stepped through the hidden entrance. In many ways she reflected the state of the room. Her pink coat shone in the light of the chandelier and her absolute mess of a pinker-than-pink mane bounced around, as if it was made from cotton candy. Her piercing blue eyes stared intently at Applejack, while a huge smile spread on her face. “Oh, hello Applejack!” the newcomer greeted her in a chipper tone, like one would an old friend. “It’s so very good to see you!” Applejack felt a bit awkward. Was she supposed to know this mare? “Uhm, howdy. Forgive my bad memory, but do I know you?” The pink mare didn’t seem offended in the slightest. “Of course not, silly! We’ve never met. But I know everything about you!” She dragged out those last few words, her bright smile undermining the weight of the sentence. “Say, do you feel any hungry? ‘Cuz I just had the greatest idea, we could have dinner together!” “Well, I’ve eaten, but I could always eat a bit more,” Applejack replied politely to the great delight of her host. “Okie-dokie-lokie!” the pink mare yelled and she motioned for Applejack to sit down. After making sure Applejack was sitting comfortably, she produced a small trumpet from her mane and blew into it. The noise of things banging together and the clattering of pots and various other items from behind the wall answered her call. Moments later another mare entered the room through the hidden door. She was wearing a dim blue dress, which covered the entirety of her dark grey body and was fastened with a black rope around her barrel. Her silence and stoic face were the polar opposite of the pink mare. “Yes, Pinkie?” she asked just as flatly as her appearance suggested. “Heya, Maud!” Pinkie greeted her back. “Pretty please bring our guest something sweet.” “Okay.” With that Maud disappeared behind the door again. Without taking her eyes off Applejack, Pinkie trotted over to the table. There she produced a few candlesticks and a box of matches seemingly out of nowhere and placed a couple of lit candles on the table. “Ah, just like those sweet Hearth’s Warming Eves of our fillyhoods, isn’t that right?” she asked, lost in watching the flames. Applejack nodded nervously, still unsure what this was all about. Suddenly Pinkie turned towards her. “Say, Applejack, ya like drinks?” “I suppose I don’t mind the occasional cider. Not that I’ve had the opportunity for a while,” she admitted with the slightest hint of sourness in her voice. “Excellent!” Pinkie skipped to a cabinet to the side of the room and opened it. On par with the room itself, it was filled with balloons, clown noses, fake flowers, diving gear, oversized glasses, more confetti, and even had a conspicuous-looking cannon sitting at the bottom. However, one of the shelves had a small barrel of cider on it with two mugs. The mare filled both of them and passed one to Applejack. “Enjoy!” she said with genuine glee, then immediately began gulping down the drink. Applejack looked at the golden-yellow brew for a moment, then at the cheerfully drinking pony in front of her and shrugged. She put the tip of her tongue into the mug and her senses were immediately overwhelmed by the sweet taste of apples. She tipped the mug backwards and emptied it in three fell gulps, nearly at the same moment the mystery mare too finished her own portion. Both sighed contently, then Pinkie turned towards Applejack again. “You look great, by the way. Very healthy!” “Thank you.” Applejack still felt a bit flustered, but the drink was quickly doing its job. “Workin’ in the orchard is good for one’s health. You look good too, Miss… Beg pardon, I don’t think I’ve caught your full name.” “I’m Pinkie Pie! Nice to finally meet’cha!” Pinkie enthusiastically shook her hooves a few too many times. “My pleasure, Miss Pie.” Applejack replied once she was able to regain control of her limbs. In that moment Maud appeared again and placed a great plate in front of Applejack, covered by a lid. “Enjoy,” she said flatly, before nodding towards Pinkie and backing out of the room. “Well, Applejack, here you go.” Pinkie removed the lid from the tray. Applejack couldn’t believe her eyes. In front of her, served on a literal silver platter, sat a gorgeous, ripe, red apple. Its polished surface gleamed from the light of the candles and the chandelier above and practically begged somepony, anypony to take a bite. While her mouth swallowed the drool that gathered from the sight, she looked away abashedly. “What’cha waiting for? Go ahead,” Pinkie urged her. “Apples are pretty tasty, aren’t they, Applejack?” Applejack froze in place, then lowered her head into her hooves. The warmness she began to feel from the cider left her in a moment. A dry sigh escaped her lips. “I… I understand what you mean. I’ll confess. Everything,” she muttered quietly. “I did harvest an apple tree an’ make jam out of it… an’ many other things.” Her voice slowly rose, as she began pleading. “But it was only me! Bloom an’ Mac had no idea. They really had no hoof in this. Please, Miss Pie, I—” “Oh, pssht,” Pinkie interrupted her. Applejack slowly looked up. Unlike what she expected, the smile on the pink pony’s face in front of her seemed to only grow larger. “I didn’t ask you to confess anything, silly. Maybe there was jam, maybe there wasn’t, let’s not get a tangle in our tummies from such details. We know everything anyways.” Her eyes seemed to almost flash, as she said that. “What matters right now is that yummy apple in front of you.” She tapped the plate a few times. “Come on, just dig in.” “But I—” “No, no. I insist.” Pinkie practically bounced in giddiness with that last word. Applejack looked at her, then the apple, then at her again, then her stomach rumbled and she shrugged. “Well, thank ya kindly then.” She reached out, but then, with gargantuan effort, pulled her hoof back. “Don’t you want some too? I’d feel mighty rotten to eat all this alone.” “Oh, only sweets for me. My stomach’s been weak for years, you know,” Pinkie explained with a weak smile, patting her belly gently for emphasis. She then turned to the cupboard and refilled the two mugs, before walking over to Applejack. She swiveled the sweet drink in her mug for a moment, before raising her eyes and staring deeply into Applejack’s. The smile disappeared from her face. “You know, one day, Applejack, we will ask something of you.” “Huh. Well, I’m here now, so go ahead,” Applejack replied between two bites, not feeling the momentousness of the occasion. “Just ask.” In a flash, her solemn expression broke and Pinkie burst into a snort. “Not right now, silly!” She giggled into her free hoof, then took a swig of her drink. “But hey, that gave me an idea! Would you mind if I popped in one day at the farm for lunch?” Applejack’s eyebrows shot up. “At my farm?” “Yup! You and I are both old timers. It was about time we had a real party.” Applejack swallowed. “I, uhm, I really don’t know, Miss Pie. I couldn’t exactly give ya a dinner like this,” she pointed towards the half-decimated remains of the apple in front of her. Pinkie just waved. “Ah, that’s okay. We don’t have to stuff our faces all the time to have a good time, do we?” Then, just as abruptly, her eyes unfocused and she stared past the farmer. “Just remember one thing, Applejack,” she said quietly. “The intercreatural situation is intensifying.” “Intensifying, huh?” Applejack echoed understandingly between two bites, focusing on the juices flowing freely between her cheeks. “Good to know.” Pinkie leaned even closer to her, almost uncomfortably close. “Never-ever-ever forget this,” she whispered. For a moment it seemed to Applejack like Pinkie’s cloud-like mane suddenly began to flatten and fall. “I’m sure I won’t,” Applejack’s voice hitched as she promised, but with that the spell was over. Pinkie was back to her normal self. “I’m so happy to hear,” she clapped her hooves together and, just like that, the dinner was over. Pinkie walked Applejack outside, saying her tearful goodbyes from the door. “Thanks for dropping by! I’ll see you real soon!” Applejack waved, then stumbled inside the carriage, surrounded by the two grim unicorns. By then the cider had gone to her head a little. She hiccuped. “So, colts, either of you considered a career in holding speeches yet?” she asked, her speech slurred, but they remained just as silent as before. The soft rocking of the carriage, the silence of the other passengers, the cider and apple in her belly, and the lack of rest had an immediate effect on the mare. As they flew through the starlit night, she slowly drifted off to sleep and began to snore.