It had taken thirty minutes of wandering before they realized a problem.
The sky was still beautiful, the small city not giving off enough light to cover the blinking bright stars that covered the night sky. The streetlamps had progressed from a tight up-kept and expensive blue to a warm, cheap, and aging orange glow. All was quiet on the winding boulevards that the two had found themselves on.
Rainbow Dash was still without a shirt on, however. She was marching up the front, the map held out at arms-length as every once in a while, a bright streetlamp would momentarily illuminate the notebook paper. She let out a grunt of frustration, finally stopping under a streetlamp and reading it over again.
“I don’t get it!” She grumbled loudly. Applejack was a mere few paces behind her, also stopping and resting her shoulder against the metal post. “I followed your stupid instructions, and we’re getting lost!”
“Ah told you a thousand times before, Dash.” Applejack said quietly, keeping in mind the neighborhood’s sleep schedule that people probably didn’t want interrupted. “Yer’ going the wrong way!”
“No!” Dash shouted, ignoring Applejack’s quite tone. “My house has to be… err- this one?” She turned around, pointing at a house. A house that was dark and faded, it’s lawn unkempt and overflowing, the windows boarded over with two by fours. “Err- wait. Third house down? From which way?” She scratched her hair in confusion, turning around once more.
“Ah wrote the dang map!” Applejack exclaimed, spreading her arms out wide in frustration. “If ya’lld just give it ta’ me, ah’ll figure it out!”
“You wrote it?” Rainbow turned to face Applejack. “You barely did! That’s like saying you fought in a war because you brother did, or something!” She turned away once again, spreading the map once more. “Man, why is everything so much bigger than Ponyville?”
“Because yer’ walkin’, not flyin’!” Applejack gripped her stetson, pushing herself off of the pole in anger and approaching Rainbow. She reached out her hand, grabbing the shorter girl on the shoulder, and spinning her around. “Give me the’ dang map, shorty!”
“Wh- Shorty?” Rainbow yelled, taking a step back from the aggravated Applejack. “I’m not short! I’m just-”
“Ya’ve been runnin’ round’ like a chicken without it’s head for half a dang hour! Now, give me the map!” Rainbow barely had time to react as Applejack lunged out for the map. She yanked the map back, clenching it to her chest as Applejack swiped at the now empty air. “Give me the dang-” Rainbow then rolled the map up into a cylinder, slapping Applejack humiliatingly with it.
Applejack felt the welt on her face, turning back to Rainbow with sharp eyes. Rainbow, for all of her bravidity, nervously swallowed the spit in her throat. Then, she turned around and began running at full tilt.
“Dash!” Applejack yelled, completely forgetting about the sleeping people in the houses either side of them. She touched the mark left on her face one last time, now turning slightly red, and began chasing after her.
They both had yet to run in their human bodies. Applejack felt her boots hitting the ground, and almost automatically, started swinging her arms. She noted, as the wind began picking up, how natural it felt to run like this. Like she had been missing it her entire life. She let a goofy smile spread across her face as she realized the stupidity of what was happening. Really, it was like they were back in Ponyville, Applejack chasing Rainbow out of one of her trees.
Rainbow, on the other hand, was scared of having her spine split in half by an angry Applejack.
Rainbow was the shorter girl, obviously. Not by much, but it was still a noticeable drop in height. When everybody but Fluttershy and Rarity is short, a difference in two inches can seem much more substantial. More than that, however, was the fact Applejack was ripped. Rainbow was not.Applejack somehow managed to carry over her Earth-pony traits into her human body, while Rainbow, being a Pegasus, could physically not.
Rainbow was smaller, weaker, and thinner.
Applejack was bigger, stronger, and… wider?
Then, an idea struck Rainbow. The road was ending into a culdesac, no doubt a place where she would be trapped. Even more so because she was in an unfamiliar body, and she didn’t feel like trying to climb a fence would be a very good idea.
Tactically, Rainbow began slowing down. Applejack, falling for the bait, began closing the distance quite quickly. With a huffed breath of hot air in preparation, Rainbow immediately stopped in her path, and side-stepped.
“What the-” Applejack noticed that not all of Rainbow’s body side-stepped. As a matter of fact, her leg was still sticking out. Where Applejack would trip. “Shit!”
Applejack tripped, pushing out both of her arms, and meeting concrete with a meaty thump!
“Ha!” Rainbow whooped, laughing at the farmer on the ground. “In your face! Oh, how’s the weather down there?” Rainbow asked, letting a girlish giggle escape her. Applejack adjusted her stetson on her head, looking up in aggravation. Then, a wicked smile spread across her face.
Much like Rainbow tripped her, Applejack swung her leg wildly, catching the celebrating Rainbow Dash off guard as she also met the ground. Using the confusion to her advantage, Applejack crawled over to Rainbow, quite literally sitting on Rainbow’s pelvis and locking her into place.
“Give me the map!” Applejack shouted, a smile still on her face.
“Never!” Rainbow curled the map up tighter in her fist. Applejack began reaching, but Rainbow get moving her fist. Applejack then grabbed her arm.
And then Rainbow shoved it into her own mouth.
“Rainbow!” Applejack said, panicked. “S-Stop! Ya’ll ruin the map!”
Woo!
The noise was sharp and loud. Both Applejack and Rainbow stopped their arguing, becoming immovable statues as they stared in each other's eyes, shocked. Whilst they were fighting on the ground, they failed to notice a bright white light slowly approach them, getting brighter and brighter, until they were being practically bathed in the light.
On top of this… strange metal carriage, was a long light bar, shooting out red and blue lights, spinning in a circle, and lighting up houses in the culdesac. Rainbow stared in shock, opening her mouth and letting the map fall out, soaked in slobber.
“Aw, fuck.” Applejack said, letting go of Rainbow’s arm.
The door to the vehicle clicked open, the entire vehicle rocking back and forth as a figure emerged.
He was a huge, burly man that dwarfed the two girls. He wore blue pants, a blue shirt, and all around his waist were instruments and tools, including a gun, that were strapped to a belt. Ontop of his head was a hat with a golden badge on the top. He adjusted the hat, reaching into the vehicle, and dimming the headlights so they could see better.
“What in the hell?” He shouted.
Rainbow’s eyes went wider than saucers as she raised her head off of the ground. Her breath was caught, her mouth open wide, and her stomach dropped through the floor as she made a startling revelation.
This entire time, she was looking for a house that looked like her cloud mansion.
But these bodies were younger than their pony counter-parts. She shouldn’t have been looking for her cloud house.
“Dashie, is that you?” Bow Hothoof said, walking forwards and blocking the headlights of the car with his body.
She should’ve been looking for her parent’s house.
“Hey- get off of her!” Bow shouted, crossing the distance and pushing Applejack. Applejack took the nudge, quickly scampering off of his daughter and standing up, backing away quickly. “What do you think you’re doing with my daughter, huh?” He asked, pulling out his flashlight and shining it on Applejack. “What would your folks say, huh? What would Granny Smith say? Attacking an innocent girl like that!” Applejack squinted, raising her hand and blocking the light. “I’ve got half a mind to run you down to the police station-”
“No!” Rainbow shouted from the ground. “Y-You got it wrong! D-Dad!” She stuttered out. Bow looked down, shining the flashlight on his daughter.
“Got it wrong- Dash, where the hell is your shirt?” He shouted, suddenly noticing his almost topless daughter.
“Applejack had it last!” She also raised her hand, blocking out the bright flashlight. “Just- she didn’t attack me!”
“Is that right?” Bow asked, shining the light once again at Applejack. She sputtered, wilting under the bright light.
“Y-Yes sir!” Applejack responded. “Me n’ Dash here were just foolin’ around! Honest! We jus’ got a might lost, ah’ tell ya the honest truth!” She tugged at her stetson.
Bow went silent for a few moments, still shining the light on Applejack. Ponyville didn’t exactly have many authoritative figures. The biggest authoritative figure, before Twilight Sparkle’s ascension, was probably Mayor Mare. If somepony was acting up, the towns people would get involved to boot them out, as what happened with Trixie, or have a stern talking to. If somepony was really misbehaving, worst came to worst, Mayor Mare would summon the Royal Guard from the nearest Equestrian Military Outpost, which happened to be less than an hour and a half away from the edge of the Everfree.
All of this to say that Applejack was feeling very uncomfortable as this man with a deadly weapon strapped to his waist who was shining a light in her eyes.
Bow finally clicked off his flashlight, backing up and rubbing his chin in thought. Now, with the headlights dimmed, and the Celestia-forbidden flashlight turned off, Applejack could properly get a good look at him.
He didn’t look much like Rainbow, to be fair. He didn’t have the same face structure, nor eye color as his daughter. The only similar thing had to be his hair, which was exposed when he removed his hat and flattened his hair while thinking.
Rainbow, on the other hand, wasn’t paying attention to her dad as much as she was paying attention to one single feeling that was brewing in her chest:
Raw, unfiltered, embarrassment.
Finally, Bow turned around.
“You have… a girlfriend.” Bow said quietly. Rainbow, still laying on the ground, looked up in shock.
“W-Wait- she’s not my-” Rainbow began.
“You have. A girlfriend.” He said louder. Applejack took a preemptive step back.
“N-NO. She’s Applejack, and-”
“You have a girlfriend!” He shouted. Rainbow shrunk on the ground as Applejack changed her stance, readying to either defend herself and Rainbow, or grab Rainbow and run. Her breath deepened, her stomach dropped, as she watched Bow suddenly reach into his back pocket.
A million thoughts went through her head as she watched him pull out a black, rectangular object.
Snap.
“Best gay couple ever!”
That was… not expected.
Bow rotated the rectangular object in his hand, looking down at the lit up screen with a smile on his face. “Oh, I’m so sending that to Windy!” He laughed again. “Not gonna tell her for what, though. That comes later!” He laughed once more, reaching down with a hand. “C’mon, Dashie! You think this is a good place for ‘fooling around,’ as AJ put it?”
“What?” Rainbow asked, taking her sudo-father’s hand and letting him pull her up. Applejack was still in the attack position, staring blankly as she tried her hardest to digest what had just happened.
“What if someone from school sees you out here?” He asked, brushing off the pebbles from his daughter’s shoulder. “I know how much your reputation matters to you.” He laughed. Then, he turned his attention to Applejack, still in the defensive pose. “Nice to meet you, Applejack!” He extended his hand.
Applejack blinked, breaking out of the trance. She relaxed her pose, accepting the handshake.
“Err- nice ta’ meet you, too?” She guessed, vaguely understanding what was happening.
“Rainbow’s talked a lot about you.” He said, breaking the handshake. “You’re lucky we don’t live down in the states. If a US cop sees you going down on his daughter like that? He’d have half a mind to shoot you dead.”
“Going down-” Applejack gawked, shaking her head. “No-no-no! Nopony was going down on anyone’s daughter!” She spread her arms wildly.
“Yeah? Then why’s her shirt missing?” He asked, pointing at Rainbow Dash, who’s face was now brighter than a tomato. On her face, she wore an expression of nothing but shame, her mouth contorted into a frown as she tried her hardest to shrink into her neck.
Obviously, shirts worked differently in this world than Equestria. Something about having a shirt off was inherently sexual. And that meant that Bow, finding Applejack sitting on Rainbow, without her shirt on, just raised all of the red flags.
“I- I-”
“C’mon.” He looked at his phone. “You two’ve got school tomorrow, and it’s already one in the morning. Applejack, you might as well spend the night with us. It’s a good twenty minute drive to Sweet Apple Acres.”
Applejack bit her lip. That was her plan, after all, but now with this added layer of confusion? She was originally under the impression that she would be spending the night with Rainbow in her own home, not her parents.
“Ah- Ah don’t want to impede, that’s all.” She said.
“No, you’ll be fine.” He patted Applejack on the shoulder. “You’re just gonna sleep on the couch tonight, okay? Away from Dash.”
“Ah-” She turned to Rainbow, who’s face was bright red still. Then, she let a devilish smirk envelop her. “Ah’ think that’s a great idea!” She said. Rainbow’s mouth turned into even more of a frown than it was before. “Ah’d love to meet mah girlfriend’s parents!”
“Great!” He smiled, turning around. “Dash, you don’t mind if she rides in the front, do you?”
“Not. At. All.” Rainbow seethed, suddenly becoming angry. Bow smiled, walking back to the cruiser. “What’s the matter with you?” Rainbow whispered. “Girlfriend? Seriously?”
“Ah, c’mon, Dashie!” Applejack teased. “It’ll be fun! Plus, ah saw you lookin’ at me earlier. Ah’ know how much you like this body.” She reached down, grabbing the now dry of slobber map on the concrete. “What’s a little pretending?”
“Nice going, Element of Honesty.” Dash grumbled, turning around and following her dad into the carriage. Applejack smiled, shaking her head and following her.