//------------------------------//
// The Great Paintball Battle 
// Story: Equestrian Recreation 
// by luigitime22 
//------------------------------//

The whole gang was back together for another movie night, now back to continue watching “Lord of the Things.”

“You know, I’ve been thinking,” Zipp said. “Is it just me, or does the Lord of the Things actually seem really similar to King Sombra?”

This raised some general mumbling and discourse throughout the group. “They do seem a bit similar,” Twilight admitted. “Perhaps the Lord of the Things is based off of Sombra?”

“There’s no way that could be the case,” Rainbow Dash said rather confidently.

“Why’s that?” Applejack asked.

“Because the Lord of the Things is supposed to be brilliant! Isn’t one of the things he’s well known for is how he managed to trick everyone in the world multiple times?” Rainbow asked.

“Yes, that’s correct,” Twilight said. She wasn’t about to be caught not knowing any sort of trivia on a book series, after all.

“Then there’s no similarity! Sombra fell for that ridiculous fake Crystal Heart trap of all things, he’s way too dumb to be similar!” Rainbow explained.

“Hey, that trap was not ridiculous!” Twilight sputtered.

“My point still stands,” Rainbow declared.

~~~

King Sombra woke up from his sleep in a fright. He was still stuck in his jail cell in Canterlot, having not managed to break out yet. And yet, something was bothering him immensely.

It felt like someone, somewhere, had just insulted him. But he wasn’t quite sure.

~~~

“Now then, both teams are set, correct?” Applejack asked.

“You got it! We’re so going to destroy you!” Rainbow Dash boasted.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash had set up a no-holds-barred paintball war with 2 teams of 4. After some strategizing, Rainbow Dash had recruited Zipp, Thunderlane, and Soarin’, while Applejack had recruited Big Mac, Braeburn, and Autumn Blaze to her team.

“Now the rules are simple,” Applejack explained. “You can fight anywhere in Ponyville, but no exiting the town. If you see an opposing player, you are free to blast them however you wish. If Rarity starts complaining about the mess, ignore her.”

All the players nodded in the affirmative, and soon enough mayhem descended upon Ponyville.

~~~

Rarity was calmly sewing a dress in her boutique, humming a quiet tune to herself. It was a pleasant, quiet day after all. There was no rush on orders, Sweetie Belle had slept in long enough for Rarity to be the one to make breakfast, and no evil forces had risen from Tartarus to make mayhem descend on Ponyville.

Then she heard a splatting noise on one of her boutique windows.

This took Rarity by surprise, and she briefly paused her sewing to see what the source of the interruption was. Rarity magically opened her front door to see if anypony was there. “Hello? Anypony there?” she asked.

But her eyes quickly widened in terror when she saw Applejack and Rainbow Dash trying to blast each other in her yard.

“It’s Rarity!” Rarity suddenly heard Applejack yell. That wasn’t good, they had noticed her.

“Get her!” Rainbow Dash shouted. Rarity barely slammed her door shut in time to not get blasted by numerous paintballs, furiously hearing her door get coated in paint.

“I would have preferred a force rising up from Tartarus to make mayhem descend on Ponyville,” she quietly grumbled to herself.

~~~

Rarity was now under siege in her own boutique, listening as paintball after paintball slammed into her home. The windows were covered in paint, and Rarity figured the rest of her house wasn’t much better off.

She admittedly wasn’t surprised that Applejack and Rainbow Dash would call a truce to bother her, she was an easy target for such a messy sport after all. “Still, this just won’t do,” she reasoned. “I certainly can’t focus on my sewing with that noise hammering my home, and I’d rather my boutique didn’t become abstract art. What to do?” she pondered.

Then she remembered one of the perks of being a unicorn.

“Oh that’s right,” she figured. “Twilight taught me that portal spell.” Being a close friend of the most powerful spellcaster had its perks, like learning more difficult spells like portals. Hiding herself away from the windows to ensure she wasn’t seen escaping, Rarity promptly teleported to Ponyville.

Which was also covered in paint.

~~~

Rarity looked around at the town, which really had been turned into abstract art. “I take it they’ve been playing here as well,” Rarity commented to Carrot Top, who was nearby Rarity’s exit point.

“Yeah, it wasn’t pretty,” Carrot Top confirmed. “How am I supposed to properly sell carrots when my stall is covered in purple spots?”

It wasn’t much better throughout a good chunk of the town. The Flower Trio had suffered casualties on several bouquets, Sugarcube Corner was largely covered in green, and Barnyard Bargains was bright pink.

“Did they get every single building in town?” Rarity asked Carrot Top.

“Just about,” Carrot Top answered. “With the exception of Quills and Sofas, anyway.”

“Why didn’t they touch Quills and Sofas?” Rarity asked.

“Braeburn shot the front door lime green and the second the first paintball connected, Davenport came out and slammed him with a sofa,” Carrot Top explained.

Rarity paused for a moment to process this. “Do you ever think that perhaps incidents like this are why most of Equestria sees our fine little town as maybe a bit on the strange side?” Rarity asked.

“It’s a possibility,” Carrot Top admitted.

~~~ 

Numerous ponies were surveying the paint covered town. Amidst the general grumbling and ponies attempting to haggle the price on the sofa that was used to slam Braeburn, the general question was how exactly to handle the situation.

After the suggestion to hit them with more sofas was rather quickly shot down by Nurse Redheart, Pinkie Pie piped up with her own idea. “I say we blast them with our own paint weapons!” she suggested.

“That would be an amusing way to handle the situation, Pinkie, but there’s one small problem,” Roseluck noted. “We don’t have any paint launchers.”

This was met with general agreement, barring from Button Mash, who had the latest model of paint launcher.

“Not a problem!” Pinkie Pie explained, as she produced a customized paint launcher from a hole in a tree. She happily hoofed it to Rarity with a sincere grin.

“Pinkie, darling, don’t tell me you’ve been stashing light pink paintball launchers all over town,” Rarity said.

“Of course!” Pinkie said. “I have paintball launchers hidden all over town, in case of paintball launcher emergencies,” Pinkie Pie explained.

Within 2 minutes, the entire town was armed.

“I suppose we’re going to war then,” Rarity yielded.

~~~

Applejack and Rainbow Dash’s truce had just come to an end as they continued attacking each other. Rarity unfortunately had not come out of the boutique, so it was back to the regular game. However, after a few minutes, Applejack noticed a minor problem.

“Alright, who’s shooting everypony light pink?” she asked. “I don’t recall either team having light pink ammunition.”

“It’s not me!” Rainbow Dash said. “I thought it was Big Mac!”

“Nope,” Big Mac said.

“Then who is it?” Applejack pondered.

“That would be us, darlings,” a bush said. Then light pink paint emerged from the bush and splattered onto Rainbow Dash.

Light pink paint began pouring in from all directions, as the citizens of Ponyville attacked the two teams. Out of trees, from the sky, from within bushes, Pinkie Pie even nailed Zipp from Rarity’s mail slot.

The two teams attempted to fight back, but it was no use. They were far too outnumbered to stand a chance, and could only face the inevitable as they got slammed by pink paint.

“I think we may have made them mad,” Rainbow Dash said as Carrot Top scored a hit on her mane.

“Ya think?” Applejack said.

~~~

“And finally,” Rarity addressed the defeated players. “We expect you to clean up the messes you made around town.”

This was met with general grumbling and moans from the 8 defeated players, who had been granted some level of mercy and were being washed off. Fortunately, all the paint was easily washable and had no time to dry at all, so it wasn’t difficult.

“Next time you all want to play these games, can we expect you to do it out of town?” Rarity asked.

Rainbow Dash and Applejack nodded in affirmation, pleasing Rarity and the rest of the town.

~~~

Fortunately, the punishment really wasn’t all that severe as it might sound. A few rain clouds later, and everything was washed away. A few bits did have to be spent to make up for the Flower Trio’s losses, but after that everything was back to normal. An hour after the cleaning was done, some of the ponies were relaxing at Sugarcube Corner after the day of activity.

“You know, next time some force rises up from Tarturus to make mayhem descend on Ponyville, maybe we should just cover them with paint,” Rainbow Dash pondered.

“I seriously doubt that would be quite as effective on Lord Tirek as it was on us, Rainbow,” Applejack pointed out.

“Oh come on, he would hate it if we turned him pink!” Rainbow shouted. “It would totally drive him crazy.”

Applejack stopped to ponder the possibilities of a light pink Lord Tirek, or a lime green Cozy Glow, or maybe even a yellow Queen Chrysalis.

“You might be onto something,” she said.