It doesn't take long for me to be introduced to Rarity's mother, she's a very friendly woman and seems to be incredibly kind but I still feel as if I'm an intruder, they reassure me that I'm welcome at any time, but there's something in the back of my mind that's chastising me for imposing so heavily on a peaceful bunch.
I'm led to the very luxurious guest room where I'm left alone to do whatever I felt necessary, I sit down on the bed and look at my clothes. They weren't clean and I likely smelled but I had nothing else to wear right now and my daily clothes were now being used as pajamas, I laid on top of the blankets as to not soil the sheets and mattress.
I closed my eyes and waited for sleep to take me, memories of everything that's happened the past few months are replaying in my head over and over. I'm still alive and I'm still fighting, I suffered through the CMC creating Anon-A-Miss and they all know I'm innocent. "I'm going to be okay."
"Indeed you will be, Sunset Shimmer."
I open my eyes insanely quickly and look around, I heard princess Luna speaking and I promptly see the telltale ethereal cyan surroundings of Luna's dreamrealm, my eyes fall upon her and I realize I've fallen asleep. "Good evening Luna."
She smiles and steps forward, giving me time to get up if I wanted to. "Hello Sunset, how are you feeling?" "Like shit." I chuckle and lift my injured 'arm' up, I can move it so clearly physical injuries don't follow into the dreamrealm.
I stand up and walk over to her, she uses her wings to pull me in for a hug the second I'm close enough.
"Has anything happened recently that you'd like to tell me about?" She lets go and steps back, watching me intently and waiting for the tea to be spilled.
"Yes, I'm talking to Pinkie Pie again and me and Rarity were discharged from the hospital this morning. How's Twilight and princess Celestia?"
"They are well, Twilight is still worried about you and I haven't told her why you were admitted to the hospital because if she knew what happened it would make her think that the worst had happened, she knows that you're alive." She smirked, "Aaaand~ She's finished her research on how to open the portal between our two worlds at will."
"Really?! That's- That's amazing! How did she- I have.. So many questions-"
She grinned and nodded her diamond blue eyes somehow sparkling in the ethereal glow of the dreamwalker's realm, "She's tapped into the magic of a journal or so she says, she's only told me about it recently and she says she appears to have a way to tap into the magic without draining it."
I could feel my jaw was dropped, she used the journal to find a way to open the portal whenever she pleased? The revelation was both amazing and nerve wracking since I didn't know if she did any damage to the magical properties of said journal.
"Enough of Twilight, how have you been? I heard that you were speaking to Pinkie Pie again, how has that been going for you?"
"Mhm, like I said I just got out of the hospital this morning and we went to Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie was working so I asked if we could chat after work and she said she had a break in ten or so minutes. So we talked and she.. Started absolutely losing it, sobbing and apologizing for being a 'meanie pants'."
"Hm, and what did you do?"
"What do you mean? I gave her a hug despite my broken and fractured bones."
"Did you accept her apologies? Are you slowly going to mend your broken friendship?"
I nod, I sure hope I will but time will tell if they truly intend to become my friends again but I do have a question for her. "Princess? Do you think they hated me all along and it only took everything happening for them to realize that I did want to become a better person?"
Her gentle smile falls into a concerned frown, she tilts her head slightly to the side and summons two plush cushions for us to sit on. "What do you mean Sunset Shimmer? Do you suspect that they only agreed to become your friends just because Twilight asked them to?"
I can't meet her gaze as I sit down, my eyes begin to water and my chest aches I know my heart is broken still, and that it's beginning to mend but it still is painful to think about what happened. I do care about them but I sometimes can't help but feel they only watched out for me because Twilight voluntold them to. "I don't remember if I've told you about everything that led up to my.. Attempt."
"You haven't, no." She takes my hoof in hers, I expect the princess to wants me to look up at her but instead she simply holds my hoof.
"Well, Rarity, Applejack, and Rainbow's little sisters got- in their words- 'really jealous' that I was spending a lot of time with their older sisters so they decide to create a social media account to expose everybody's secrets, it was harmless at first like what games someone likes to play or that they were behind an innocent prank, but it quickly became more malicious and it started outing closeted gay people or exposing someone's awful test scores..
They made it seem like I was the one behind the account and everyone believed them! Not even my so called f-friends would believe me when I said I didn't do it, mainly because I had access to information that only me and the girls plus their siblings would have a-and they-" I sniffle and pull my hoof back from hers, using it to wipe my teary eyes. "They all thought that I- They all abandoned me without concrete proof that I did it-"
"Oh Sunset, I'm so sorry." I didn't hear her get up, I only notice she had moved when I feel her soft wings gently pulling me close to her.
"You're a strong mare, you've been through tartarus and have come out alive. I'm so proud of you."
My breath hitched and I looked up at her from my place in her wings, nobody had ever told me that they were proud of me and her words didn't help the fact that I was trying not to cry. "Proud of me? Why?"
She pauses and I hear her hum, her wings are rubbing gentle circles on my back. "What's not to be proud of you for? You saved the world multiple times, you worked incredibly hard to make up for the things you've done in the past, and most of all you've found the inner strength to keep on going. You are not responsible for the actions of others, only for your own and tis not your fault that jealousy took over a certain three ponies. I'm proud of you, Celestia is proud of you, so is Twilight, and no doubt your friends are as well."
More tears are falling from my eyes at this point, I don't really want to be crying right now but nobody's told me they were proud of me before. I sniffle and wrap my hooves around her barrel without saying anything, damn my emotions for being all emotions-y.
"It's okay, you're going to be okay. I apologize for not asking what had happened sooner, perhaps I would've been capable of offering you better advice. But for now, you'll have to return to the waking world for another day, I'll be here for you whenever you need me. Best of luck Sunset."
I nod and sniffle again, I feel my nose is getting runny from my not so subtle crying but I don't really need to do anything about it unless I wake up with the same ailment. I close my eyes and take a breath, I suddenly feel the bed under me and I figure I'm awake now.
My eyes open and I notice that it's still dark so I reach for my phone, getting rather confused when I can't find it. I soon remember that I'm staying with Rarity and her family and my phone was all but broken when we got in the accident and it would be less frustrating just to leave it be for now. "Fuck.."
I hear footsteps in my room and I sit up in a panic, the door is open and I wonder who was coming to either kill me or creepily stare at me in my sleep. My breathing is uneven and my eyes dart around the room, oh why couldn't they have simply knocked?
"Sunset?"
Oh. It's just Rarity, I practice the breathing technique princess Celestia taught me and I hum in response.
"Could we.. Talk?"
"Yeah. What time is it?"
"Five fifteen, I'm truly sorry for barging in like this but you weren't responding to my knocking and I.. I- I really need to talk to you."
"Sure, what 'bout?"
She takes a shaky couple breaths and comes a little closer to me, I move over and turn on the bedside lamp to get a better look at her. "I've been having nightmares. About Anon-A-Miss, about the accident, about you when you.. When you attempted to end your life. It won't go away or stop darling, no matter what I do I always end up back at CHS watching in shock as the paramedics d-declare you dead."
"Rarity.."
"I know you're alive and you're physically okay Sunset, I know it. I see you often and I know they're simply bad dreams, but I did something awful.."
My heart sinks to my stomach upon hearing her words, she sounds so vulnerable and so.. Depressed. "Rarity? What happened?"
She turns her head away and brings her sleeve up to her mouth, since she isn't able to use her other hand right now she's forced to use her mouth to roll up her sleeve. She holds it out for me to see and I see vicious, bloody red lines on her wrist and arm. "Rarity.. I- Why?"
"I simply- Sunset what I have done to you is unforgivable, being beautiful on the inside is just as important, if not more, than being beautiful on the outside. I was a monster to you, I told you that I didn't think you genuinely wanted to change. I was so angry and I took my anger out on you even though there was no solid proof that y-you did anything!"
"Rarity." I say sternly, capturing her attention immediately. "I forgive you, so it's forgivable. You're stunning on the inside and out, you don't need to hurt yourself because you think that it'll make up for what happened. The past is the past and it will stay in the past, we need to move on and do better in the future, sure it's painful sometimes to see the people who..
Y'know, did most of the bullying during all of that, but I'm doing my best to be better and forgive, and I hope you know that I've fully forgiven you and I care so much about you."
She sniffles and says nothing, I keep glancing between her bloody cuts and her head, I see her shoulders heaving and I know she's trying not to begin sobbing. "It's okay to cry, what happened wasn't entirely your fault."
Rarity sits on my bed and lets it all go, at first it came out as sad whimpers and it ramped up in intensity until she was sobbing and shaking.
She's pulling at her hair with her good hand and is tugging on it as if she's attempting to rip it out, she's shaking and soon clasps her hand over her mouth to muffle her sobs.
In response I pull her close to me and keep my arm wrapped around her, I whisper reassurances to her and let her know that it's going to be okay and I have faith that it's going to be alright in the end. The poor girl soon cries herself to sleep and I fall asleep shortly after, I don't know how long we slept but I was awoken to loud knocking on my door, I whine and crack an eye open. "C'minn-"
The door opens and I see Mr. Flanks stick his head in, through my blurry morning half asleep vision I see him smile and I remember that Rarity fell asleep next to me at five something. Fuck, does he think I'm her girlfriend? "G'mornin' Sunset, breakfast is ready downstairs."
A cold chill runs down my spine, I didn't make sure her cuts were properly taken care of. She could've bled out right next to me and I could have prevented it if I'd only been less of a moron, shit. Shit.
I force a glass fragile smile, my heart is racing and I need to check her pulse. "Thank you mister Flanks, I'll be up pretty soon."
He nods and closes the door, I shoot up with an extremely painful protest from my hurt arm and I scramble to move my good hand over to the side of Rarity's neck, I don't notice an overwhelming stench of blood but I need to make sure that she's alive. I also don't notice in my panic that she had bandaged her arms sometime when I was out like a light. "Rarity?-"
She grumbles and opens her eyes tiredly, she sounds half asleep, I don't blame her because she had just woken up and she probably is indeed half asleep. "Mhh? Good morning Sunset."
A relieved sigh escapes and I sit up, and then it hits me. I had slept right next to my best friend, I remind myself that it was strictly platonic and that she needed a friend to be there for her. "Sorry. I- I thought that you didn't take care of your arm."
She chuckled and sits up as well, she moves and gets out of the bed and I do the same. "It's alright, you thought-"
I wonder how she was able to cut herself. Did she use her mouth to hold the knife handle? As morbid as the question was it was a genuine question of mine. "Mhm. And now for a change of subject!- Your father came up and told me that breakfast is ready and he miiiight think we're gay?"
"Oh lord."
"Yep."
"I really hope he doesn't tell my mother."
"Why? Is she homophobic?"
"No, she's not. She'll just.. Wink at you and try to provide tips on how to improve in-"
"Oh she's one of those parents."
Rarity laughed softly before audibly sniffing twice. "Indeed she is. Ooh, it smells like waffles for breakfast this morning."
"Ooh."
She moved to the door and opened it, looking down at her sleeves once more to what I assume is check that her sleeves are covering the bandages before she left.
I follow suit after I run my fingers through my hair to comb through it and discover any knots I may have. I leave the guest room start going downstairs, oh Celestia today's going to be eventful, isn't it?