//------------------------------// // 20. Hollow Hatred // Story: Mirror Mirror // by LittleFaerieFire //------------------------------// Hollow Hatred Sunset Looking up I could see the magical flare continuing to pulse. No doubt attracting the gaze of the Princess of the Sun herself. Frowning at the sight I pulled my sack and satchel from where they rested to my side. They slowly flew through the air. It seems that even after the spirit of Disharmony had “healed” me I was still suffering from teleporting far too much in a short period. Looking at the Alicorn who had saved me from the mad god himself as she stared up at the flare. I would have spoken but whatever words were upon my tongue shriveled as I once more saw her wing. It seems that throughout the entire ordeal with Discord, the makeshift bandage had fallen off and I could see four vicious tears running through her wing. Turning the surrounding pink feathers blood red.  “Cadance…” I finally spoke. My voice was bereft of its normal strength. The pink Alicorn turned from her gaze on the sky to meet my eyes. Twin pools of purple shone. Gulping down the desire to teleport away, I continued “...Thank you.” There was so much more I wanted to say and yet that was all I managed to get out. Thankfully she understood my words and responded with a smile. Now all that was left to do was convince her that she should return to the cave only exiting when she saw Princess Celestia. So that the two of them could be reunited. Her wing could be healed. The tale once more set straight. However, before I could even attempt to bring that plan into action she began to speak. “So I take it we should start to flee?” She asked. Upon seeing my confusion she continued gesturing with her good wing to the flare. “Ponies are going to notice that and since you're not exactly an Alicorn yet.” She finishes with a shrug. Completely misinterpreting my reaction to her words. A flicker formed bringing warmth that even after everything she still wanted to stay by my side.  “Yes, we should,” I said with a nod. Enjoying that sentence I spoke far too much. I was a truly pathetic pony. Before I could go down that rabbit hole I once more spoke up as I situated the sack and saddle atop me. “Let's get going, I am guessing we don't have much time.” Cadance nodded as she trotted over towards me before we started to traverse the forest. Well, the burned section of one. “Couldn't you teleport us?” She asked and upon seeing my wince “If you can't that's alright it's just that earlier you -.” Before she could continue I interrupted her. “Teleportation takes a great deal out of a Unicorn. Most can’t even do it and those that can often only bring themselves across the divides in space that they create.” I gave some context as we trotted finally entering a portion of the forest that I had managed to not burn. “Even for me teleporting so much and so frequently has its drawbacks. Until I become an Alicorn I have to teleport sparingly.” Cadance nodded in understanding to my side. Apologize. “Speaking of earlier, my apologies for not asking if I could teleport you.” Seeing the confusion written across her face at my apology I continued. “It's considered the height of rudeness to teleport any pony without their permission. Only ponies that are extremely close or family you should teleport without their prior consent.” I continued my impromptu lecture on Unicorn etiquette to the Alicorn next to me. Who was keenly listening with interest plainly shown on her face. “Sunset don't take this the wrong way but I doubt your definition of close is considered to be at all correct.” She responded after ducking under a half-collapsed tree. That was rude. More than likely true but still rude. She simply laughed before continuing. “Sunset you saved my life and I sure believe that means that we are close.” Was that how this worked? Does that mean all I had to do to pass that damned test was to find a pony facing certain death and then save them? Lost in my thoughts I didn't see the tree that I ran into. Glaring at the flora that impeded my path. Shifting my glare to the pink pony that continued to laugh at my predicament. “See if I save you the next time.” I lightly growled at her. Standing up after taking a moment to regain my bearings. We continued our trek through the forest. Only stopping when we came across a small road. Beckoning my… Friend? She did save my life. If going by what she had previously said that does equate to closeness. That still didn't make sense if that was the answer I would have long since passed that damned test. “Hold up a moment. I need to prepare a disguise.” She slowed down next to me. Not even appearing winded. Damn Alicorn ascension. Regardless I pulled out a cloak from my satchel and began to weave magic into it. Illusions and misdirections all in an effort to confound any that would seek to remember any specific details of the wearer. Ignoring the splitting headache that the heavy use of my magic was causing I split my attention further. “Unicorn or Pegasus?” I bluntly asked. “Excuse me?” She responded somehow confused as she slightly tilted her head. Causing her mane to follow in turn. Gritting my teeth slightly as I reworked the mistake I made. Before I expanded on my earlier question. “There are two Alicorns in all of Equus. You will stick out like the Sun in the dead of Night. -” She choked at my words “- so would you rather your disguise be a Unicorn or a Pegasus? I would offer Earth Pony but I don't have enough in me to hide both your wings and your horn.” Once I clarified what I had meant she got herself under control and contemplated my answer. Her eyes sparkled as they glanced over the cloak. “Do you have a preference, Sunset? Unicorn, Pegasus, or Earth Pony?” She asked with that strange tilt to her voice as a sly grin formed on her face. I frowned as she didn't answer the question. Seemingly able to read me as if I were an open book she continued “Answer my question and I’ll tell you.” Whatever, it wasn't as if I was making this cloak for her sake. “Alicorn.” They were the best of pony-kind. It was Princess Celestia’s race. To ascend to Alicorn Hood was one of the paths to true immortality. There was no question at all about which of the pony races was the best. Cadance just smiles as her face reddens. Frowning I paused my work and quickly checked her over with a quick diagnosis spell. Finding little wrong other than malnutrition and her wounded wing I turned my attention to the amused Alicorn, who was once more shaking her head slightly at me. Once more I am reminded how strange she was at times. “And the answer to my question, Unicorn or Pegasus?” I once more asked when I realized that she wasn't going to answer. We were still fleeing from the glowing and pulsing sign that Discord had strung high above. “Sunset, one day you are going to look back at this moment and I am going to mercilessly tease you.” Her eyes sharpened with her declaration. “I choose Unicorn. Please make me appear to be a Unicorn, after all, what better way to see how you view the world than pretending to be the same race as you.” She said the sharpness in her eyes only increased as she spoke. Crystals once more formed in the pools of purple. All I could do was nod as I continued my work. Finishing up my work, I could only thank Princess Celestia for keeping so many artifacts around for my perusal. I gave her the cloak helping drape it around her wounded wing. “Run your magic through it.” She immediately did and I watched as the prepared spells activated as the magic began to obscure her. Now instead of a Princess all there was but a Unicorn in her place. The first thing that came to my mind was that it changed her mane. From the trifecta of colors to a simple mix of purple and pink. It would no longer cup her face when she moved her head. “As long as you don't use your wings the charms should prevent any pony from remembering too much about you.” She nodded and my earlier hypothesis was true as her new mane didn't-. Enough! “Are you feeling anything wrong with it?” I quickly asked. She took a moment before she responded to my inquiry. “Nope, nothing wrong with the disguise. Shall we continue?” She asked and I nodded. Spinning myself a quick disguise that altered my coloration and cutie mark. I was now redder than amber and instead of my own Sun it was now void. Much like the one in the center of my future self. Steeling myself as I moved forwards stepping onto the road from the brush where we had hidden. Only to turn back in confusion as Cadance didn't move with me. Instead, she appeared to be muttering under her breath. I would have interrupted her discussion with herself but decided against it when her eyes flashed with rage. Turning from my… Turning from Cadance giving her a moment to cool down I pulled out the map and compass. I only had one map. I had offered to let her leave with the map that I had marked with the potential locations of the castle from the Pony Sisters legend. I am amazed at my own stupidity at times but even for me, that was rather impressive. Had she taken up the offer all she would have had to do was to show it to Princess Celestia. The Princess of the Sun would have easily stationed guards at those locations to prevent me from ascending. Once more blocking my way. Once more attempting to smother me. Too bad for her, however, her newest Princess was my partner. She and I were going against her wishes.  I would ascend. I would claim what was rightfully mine. I would become an Alicorn worthy of Celestia’s love. I would show her the true cost of her folly. Of all but her abandonment of me. I would show her when I tore her kingdom apart. When I proved to her that I was worthy of being her daughter. The par-... My eyes flicked towards the disguised Alicorn that was still arguing against herself. No, not the parasite. Cadance. I felt a smile creep onto my lips as I once more proved to be entrapped in the webs of her making. Princess Celestia would be so proud that I had become just as enthralled with her as the rest of Equestria. I would have continued with that train of thought but upon hearing a branch snap my eyes were wrenched from the topic of my thoughts to further down the road. Where a vivid green mare was trotting closer toward us. She had a cart attached to her and was dutifully tugging it along. Turning back towards Cadance I quickly alerted her to the situation. “We have another pony coming up the road,” I said as I ignored once more the piercing pain that shot through the base of my horn as I pulled an illusion over the two of us. Frowning as the illusion failed to permeate reality. Gritting my teeth as I forced the magic to form around us. It was pathetic. I had done better in my sleep. It would shatter if I lost control over it for a moment. Another poor performance. “Sunset, it's alright.” She spoke as the warmth of her undamaged wing covered me as she continued “You can take a moment to recuperate.” Did she think that I couldn't do this? That this was too much for me? That I was unable to complete the task? That I would once more fail? I would have glared at her, but as I found myself once more looking at her I could see that there was concern swimming in her purple eyes. Entirely focused on me as she once more began after the pause. “You don't have to take care of everything yourself. We are partners.” She concluded with a smile that gave off more warmth than the wing that covered my form. The illusion around us shattered. She retracted her wing beneath the cloak that I had provided. Her smile faded as she turned from me. Looking towards the traveler. She began to trot toward them, I shadowed her. “Hello. I’m Umbra and this is Dawn. I don't suppose you would be willing to share your name with two fellow travelers?” She asked the green Earth Pony who at this point had stopped and was staring. The three of us fell into an awkward silence caused by Cad-. Wait, did she call me Dawn? Umbra? Really Cadance? “You can call me Mistletoe.” The green pony introduced herself as she shattered the silence. “It's nice to meet you Umbra, Dawn.” She says with a nod. Her eyes never left Cadance’s cloaked form. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mistletoe!” Cadance chirps out as she gets closer to the now-identified Mistletoe. “You wouldn't happen to know if there are any towns around these parts as we have managed to get ourselves a little turned around?” She excitedly asks the pony before her. It was impressive to watch her work. She turned up her natural charms to the max to get the information that we needed. Yes, using the map and compass we would have gotten where we needed to be, but if this pony could point us in the correct direction much faster it would make our travels easier. “I'm on my way to Wingston,” Mistletoe answered. I couldn't help the frown that formed on my face. That wasn't a name that I recognized. I knew that my knowledge of this area in general was considerably poorer than I initially thought but I didn't recall that town being on any of the maps either.  Taking a moment to look at the cart that Mistletoe was bringing with her. Seeing various metallic odd ends, tools, and oddly even an assortment of herbs. Recognizing a few of the herbs my hackles raised. Those were often used in potions and poisons. There was more than what initially appeared with this pony. We should avoid her. It would be far safer especially as I was currently without my magic. I turned my attention back to Cadance only to hear the tail end of the conversation I had tuned out of. “- of course, the two of you can tag along with me. It would be enjoyable to have some company. Plus it's always safer to travel as a group.” Mistletoe laughed out which in turn had Cadance chuckle with a nod of her own. “I completely agree after all that's why I only set out with Dawn. You must be rather confident in your skills to traverse the wilds by yourself.” That was a leading statement that would have had Princess Celestia proud of her. Mistletoe only nodded in agreement. “Yep, I've been making this trip for about three years now. Ruffians and beasts alike fear my wrath.” Mistletoe said as she stretched out one of her legs before miming a kick. “Well, then Umbra, Dawn. Shall we get back on the path?” Cadance nodded and before I could voice my objection Mistletoe once more pulled her cart and started trotting forth. “Come on Dawn,” Cadance says with a smirk. I frown but let her lead me behind the cart as I stay in step with her. There I watched as both Cadance and Mistletoe proceeded to talk about nearly everything under Celestia’s Sun. From the various books that they both had read to what their favorite fruits were. It was a maddening conversation that I was unable to fully close out. Had I been able to use my magic, Mistletoe would have found herself as her namesake. Thankfully a few hours later we stopped for lunch. Mistletoe stopped for lunch. Cadance had managed to get her wrapped around her hooves so far that she was willing to share some for the two of us. “Thank you,” I said to the green pony as I took the offered portion. Pulling out a bag of bits that I had earned from performing a few paltry tricks. I attempted to pay for our meal but she refused. “Think of it as a gift to new friends.” She said with a smile. It was a familiar one that I had used myself before. When I was dealing with an annoyance yet couldn't get rid of them due to Princess Celestia’s involvement. Being forced to pretend to enjoy the circumstances that were beyond my control. Once more I didn't hide the frown that formed. She didn't even comment before turning back to her cart to collect her own meal. Turning back towards Cadance as she was using her horn to eat the salad that she had been given. I made my way over to her, giving her my portion of food. Before she could contest my decision I was already sitting down next to her. “Umbra really?” I whispered to her. Wishing that I could actually spin together a privacy ward. Unfortunately, I had to deal with the reality that I could not. She shrugged as she attempted to push the food back to me. I shattered her attempt as the dregs of my magic easily subsumed hers. Not allowing the pain or hunger to show I gave her another glare. “Just eat it. You need it more than me.” “Thanks, Dawn. I really do appreciate all that you have been doing for me.” She says with a smile that still bled warmth, even in her altered form. “And it fits.” She said as she gestured to my side. “That is an eclipse, isn't it.” Yes, the inner portion of the cutie mark of my future self did appear to be an eclipse. A lunar eclipse specifically. Yet that didn't seem right. Choosing not to share that with the pony beside me. I instead spoke up. “You do realize that I was hoping to not have to deal with any other ponies. Is there a reason why you decided to go along with Mistletoe's offer?” I asked in a hushed voice, as the subject of my questioning finally pulled herself from her cart and was now eating while looking at us. Cadance actually pauses with a bit of green stopping in the air halfway between the bowl and her mouth. “First I was the one who asked to travel with her. Second, after the last couple of days, we could use any help we could get. Third, you are going to collapse sooner than later. You can't expect to do everything yourself, Su-. Dawn. Dawn.” She hastily corrected the name that she had bestowed upon me. “Mistletoe was willing to help so I took her offered hoof.” “I don't trust her.” I huffed out, while my partner rolled her eyes at me. The purple orbs held a mix of annoyance and amusement. “Dawn, you don't trust any pony.” She chided. “We are going to have to discuss what happened earlier.” She said after a lengthy pause, her voice becoming sharper as the amusement in her eyes faded being replaced with something I couldn't place. I matched her gaze. I had done my best with what I had. It wasn't my fault that she didn't leave me after I had been neutered.  Fine. Let us get my most recent failure out of the way Princess. Ignoring the growing splinter of agony that formed as I dredged my magic together and forced it to hold form. Running through the equation for the privacy that the Princess desired. Forcing the spell to spin into existence. Allowing the pain to provide clarity as I faced down the Alicorn that was on my side. “What was so wrong with what happened earlier? Are you regretting your decision to save me? Have you finally realized that it was the wrong choice? Because if you think I am just going to roll over and let you correct it you are going to be in for a rude awakening.” I spat as my blood quickened. The air did not yet heat just yet, but it did get warmer. Cadance put the fork back into the bowl. She took a moment as she stared me down in turn. Her eyes once more filled with the crystalline structures made of the once liquid purple that swam in her eyes. Now bladed shards of purpose. “Sunset I will never regret saving any pony and that includes you.” She all but snarled out. Did she think just because I didn't have magic that I would fall to my knees and beg for forgiveness from the divine being before me? “There was no choice at all, Sunset. That there ever was a choice is the problem. You bit off your tongue and used your own blood and lifeforce as fuel just to attempt to harm Discord.” The parasite didn't shout but it was a close thing. I never stood down before the Sun herself. Why would I back down from this thing that was far less? “My sincerest apologies, your Alicorness but I am still mortal.” I hissed out. The pit that had initially formed from the hunger of not eating for nearly a week churned. “I don't have the enlarged pools of mana that you do. I was forced to work with what I had available.” I pulled forth a blade of grass and sharpened it before it jammed into my side. Pain. I caught the blood that spurted out and levitated it between us. “All I had left was my knowledge and my life. I used both properly.” I said as I enjoyed the terror that flickered into existence as I forced my blood to once more burn. “Sunset you are killing yourself and for what?” The parasite stands up, knocking the bowl away from it as it continues its tirade, all the while continuing to shout. “What could be worth burning away against a foe that you know you couldn't beat?” Before I could even respond the parasite’s horn lights up. I could feel its fragile magic attempting to break mine. To extinguish my blood. To quell the flames. To once more smother me. All I could do was laugh. The pitiful creature couldn't even do this. Yet Princess Celestia thought that it was greater than me?  Flee. The world shifted. Now centered around the pink Alicorn before me. Cadance straightened as her magic surged. Quenching the flaming blood I had been taunting her with. Her disguise flickered for a moment, and in that eternal moment, I could see her mane become translucent. I could see the immortal goddess that she was becoming. That was ready to strike me down. I allowed a smile as I stared at Cadance who had quickly reapplied her disguise. “You realize that Princess Celestia would happily throw me into the depths of Tartarus or even slit my throat herself so that you can fully ascend?” I started after healing the still leaking wound I had given myself. “If anything I was doing exactly what she would do. You refused to flee when Discord left. You refused to use the distraction that I provided.” My smile grew larger. “I was burning away my life to protect you. After all, isn't that one of the stipulations of our alliance?” The pony that was the center of the universe froze. Cadance, Mi Amore Cadenza, Princess and Alicorn of Love. She was all of those and yet she still was shaken. The niece of Princess Celestia herself was brought low by a few whispered words. Truths that burned her. Did she still not understand how this world worked? “I will admit that I have fallen into your trap. Even knowing that I can’t bring myself to bring myself to do the only thing I should have done.” I smiled at her. Even without seeing my reflection, I knew how pitiful I was. “You should have left me for dead. Leaving me alone. You should be back with Celestia. Where you belong. Not with me.” The Alicorn who was the center of the world stilled. Still frozen while she absorbed my words. Still silent, she didn't yet respond. So I continued what would likely be the last lesson I taught her. “Discord himself said, that I will cause untold catastrophe in the future. That it was all my fault. That I was the one that forced Celestia to punish me.” Taking a breath and pulling the heat that was leaking from my form back inside. “All of those things are true. Cadance…”  The embers of anger were fading. Cooled as I matched my gaze with the liquid pools of purple that were her eyes. The strange twisting of the crystal threatened to captivate me even further. Tearing my gaze from hers. Forcing my inner flame to grow hotter as I continued. “All I can think about is how easy it would be to take you apart and use you as a living reagent. That night that I had saved you I was so close to tearing you into your components and stitching your wings to myself. The only reason I didn't was that I…” I couldn't admit why I hadn't. This conversation was horrid enough. “I am trying to keep my word. It is one of the few things I have left, but when I am with you I can't stop thinking about what I should be doing.” When I finally lapsed into silence did the Alicorn who stood at the center of all move. Her eyes tightened and then softened at the same moment. I avoided her gaze as she sought mine out. I couldn't deal with the sight of emotions that flitted through her gaze. Turning instead to the freshest wound that adorned my side I sighed as I patched it up. Ignoring the blood that still covered it. Eventually, the Alicorn before me spoke.  “Sunset the fact that you are concerned and don’t want to hurt me is a good thing. That shows that you care about me-.” She started before I cut her off. “I can't care about you. I only care about a singular pony and she replaced me with you.” I snarled out at the pony before me that still didn't understand. “I am Sunset Shimmer, the only pony I can care for is the one who saved me. The one who gave me her warmth. C-Princess Celestia herself.” I have long since known what I was. Just as Princess Celestia knew the same. I was a failure of a pony. A demon wearing a flesh suit of one. “Sunset it's alright to be afraid. You have cared about Celestia for a long time.” The Alicorn pauses and then continues after a breath. “I know that this may be hard for you to believe but Celestia in her own way does truly care about you in turn. Even if she can't show it in ways that you can see.” She moves forwards. The world shifted with her as she closed the distance between the two of us. “You say you can't care about another pony? Have you not saved me? Have you not given me every morsel of food that you have found? Letting yourself go hungry so that I can eat a bit more.” The food that I had brought over earlier is now brought forth encased in cyan magic that floats the food between us. “I have also tried on numerous occasions to butcher you and eventually I am going to succeed. Just leave before I inevitably once more hurt you.” I answered the Alicorn before me. Sidestepping her argument as those actions were pointless. “This is a game where there can only be one winner. The longer you stay around me the closer you get to losing. Leave for both of our sakes.” Please just leave. She sets down the floating food behind her as she continues to make her way forwards. Princess Celestia knows why I risked glancing into her eyes, but I saw the realms of purple wavering. Impossible crystalline structures weakened. The naked concern is evident in them. Impossibly focusing on only one pony before her. “Sunset if you didn't care about me you wouldn't be this concerned about if you would hurt me.” She softly whispered into my ear as she once more was by my side. “I care about you. I know that it isn't what you want but you need more love than just from Celestia. You saved my life, yes you have made attempts at it in the past but now you are afraid that you will do it again.” She takes a hoof and puts it against my back. Forcing me down. I didn't have it in me to fight at this point. The pitiful wastes of my magic were still feeding the privacy spell. “You threw yourself in between Discord and me so that you could protect me. Sunset I don't think you hate me any more than you hate Celestia.” She continues as she sits next to me. Leaning against me somewhat as she continues “You're not a demon. I have seen demons before and I can tell you they don't concern themselves with the safety of any pony.” She-. Forcing my blood to quicken was a failure as I was met once more with my limitations. Exhaustion, hunger, and pain all swam in my blood. I couldn't bring forth my anger, my hate. I couldn't disprove the pony that laid against me wrong. “I hate you.” Was somehow the only thing that managed to get through my mouth. The pony that was still against me slightly shifted but otherwise remained silent. Eventually, the spell I had cast began to flicker out. Taking most of the time that I had left I spoke once more. “I hate you so much. My life before you showed up was pathetic but I didn't have to deal with you. All I had to do was contend myself against Celestia.” Taking a breath and ignoring the damp weakness that ran down my cheeks. “You have completely thrown my life into disrepair. I can't bring myself to leave you. I can't get you to leave me. I am used to being alone. I have been the only pony on my side for so long now and yet here you are. Even after everything I have done to you. You are still by my side.” How long would you stay with me? How long before I inevitably chase you away? How long do I once more have some pony caring about me? “How could I not hate you?” I asked the Alicorn of Love as my spell shattered. Leaving only her manipulations as the world still rotated around her. Lowering my voice “You are better than me in every way. She replaced me with you. What I have wanted ever since I realized that she wasn't my mother, she gave to you. She called you her family.”  The pit that I had descended into grew and yet I had yet to fall. Kept afloat by a singular thread that I desperately clung to. To claw myself out of the abyss that I had long since found myself in. My lifeline was held by the pony that re-summoned the bowl of food. As she placed it before me I felt the rope thicken under my hooves. Glancing up I could see her pulling me from the abyss that had long since beckoned.