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// Chapter 2: Trixie Lulamoon 
// Story: How Much Do You Love Starlight Glimmer 
// by Starlight Fan 
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Love? The Great and Powerful Trixie can’t exactly say that she has experience with this type of emotion. The closest she ever felt about love was when it came to family, and even then, my parents weren’t always around.

Starlight may be the closest pony that I have ever felt love towards.

When I first met her, I saw her friendship as a means to an end. I did like her, and I understood frustrations when it came to her past, but in the end, she was a mere pawn for me to finally get an edge over Twilight.

After a while, I genuinely started to actually bond with Starlight, what drew me to her was our bond over our villainous pasts and how she wasn’t afraid to take risks. She was passionate, lively, and heck, sometimes even angry. Those are my favorite parts about her, yes I did remember what I told her when she felt the need to bottle up her emotions.

Once I let it slip that I was using her for my grudge against Twilight, she ditched me. I could hardly blame her, the poor thing probably thought our friendship was a charade, and in a way, she wasn’t wrong.

That didn’t stop me from being upset when she left though, but it wasn’t because of the fact I lost my one-up over Twilight, not because I lost Starlight’s friendship(okay that was partly the reason), but it was because I…I genuinely hurt her. I never felt so awful about hurting somepony in my life. She was my first friend, buck, I was probably her first friend too, and I broke her heart into a million pieces.

That didn’t stop me from doing the Manticore trick, and before you ask, NO. I was not about to do what you thought I was. I thought by doing some grand gesture, I could somehow get Starlight back, heck, I even begged for her to return so we could be Great and Powerful together.

I’m really lucky she realized I was being genuine, or I would have been lion food. One thing you may not have known is that Starlight bawled her eyes out when we said our first goodbyes after all was said and done. She knew that I could have potentially been eaten by that Manticore and begged me to never do a stunt like that again. I did assure her that I was just being reckless so that did help ease her worries, but I did promise never to do that again.

While I did keep that promise, that didn’t stop me from screwing up a LOT.

There was the time where she had to bottle her anger like I mentioned, but in all honesty, I acted really out of line that day. I teleported a very important artifact out of Twilight’s castle and acted as if it were no big deal, and despite Starlight trying her best to keep her patience with me, I still acted like an oblivious idiot. I really shouldn’t have done that. She had evert right to yell at me. It was my mess she was dealing with after all.

We did make up that day, and I did tell her that it was okay for her to make her frustrations with me known, but that didn’t stop my ego from putting a damper in our friendship again, and again, and again.

The tour to Saddle Arabia was probably one of mine and Starlight’s worst moments, and honestly, we both acted pretty out of line that time. Yes, Starlight traded away my wagon, but we both were being super unreasonable with each other, it’s a miracle we made up.

Sometimes I do worry about us, Starlight may screw up from time to time, but she always seems to learn from her mistakes and move forward from them. Meanwhile my ego is one of the main reasons why Starlight gets upset with me, because I have so much vanity I never think straight.

After the whole Vice Headmare ordeal, I strived to become a better friend to Starlight. I ended up buying her some flowers, and even going out to dinner with her.

Looking back… I think those ended up being more romantic than I had intended but I don’t think Starlight ever picked up on that.

I did though, and the realization hit me like a smoke bomb, I’m in love with Starlight Glimmer.

Looking back, it made a lot of sense to me. I did always find bold mares attractive, and Starlight may be soft but she definitely has a fire under her belly. 

I also felt our friendship was really special to me, she always found a way to make me smile in her own special way, and out of everyone in Equestria, she believed in me when everypony else doubted me.

I doubt she’ll ever give me the time of day, and why should she? She deserves better than an egotistical stage magician who never shuts up about how great she is.

Well… I am great, but that’s besides the point.

Our friendship is perfectly chaotic, and that’s how I like it. Trying to form it into something more will likely ruin things, and I’ve already screwed up with Starlight too many times for one lifetime. Even if Starlight forgives me every time, I can’t let myself put her through anymore pain, she’s suffered enough.

Besides, she and Twilight are pretty close as it is and as much as it makes me want to barf up my lunch, Twilight does make Starlight happy.

Whether my feelings for Starlight is probably just some attraction or anything more, it doesn’t matter. I’ll get over them. Trixie’s always gets over insignificant nonsense, and she’ll get over them now, but until then, she gives more of a reason to be jealous of Twilight.

What I love about Starlight, friend or otherwise, is that she’s passionate and always fights for what she believes is right. Our friendship will always be special to me, and I’m not going to let it go to a downward spiral.

Maybe this is wishful thinking, but I think we’ll be okay.