The Dark Side of Equestria: The Iron Uprising

by Gabriel Smith

Act 2: The Iron Ones

Dear diary,

Well, I’ve been in Canterlot for three days now and...I can’t say I’m impressed. Far be it from me to question my own boss, but Princess Celestia seems very out of touch with the situation unfolding beneath her hooves. Quite.

On my first day, I took a look around a so called “Foundry”. I say that because it wasn’t built with the safety of the workers in mind. I frequently saw overworked and underfed workers with some severe injuries - one poor soul actually lost an entire hoof, and was still expected to keep his post. When I asked the foremare, he told me that (and I quote) “he still has another hoof.”. The lack of harmony in that place disgusted me, though it wasn’t the worse of it. Oh no.

A young Foal, no older than eight at a guess was asked to fix a malfunctioning boiler. Unfortunately, she had the bad luck of not making sure a nut was screwed in tight enough, resulting in scarring another worker with a fresh spray of scalding steam when it was reactivated. For her failure, she was lashed ten times across the back. Not even IronJack treated his workers this harshly!

Along the roads and the streets, I see Ponies being forced to scavenge for food and water - some of which - if I am informed correctly - was not safe to be ingested by anyone. Disease here is rife, and the Princess at best is completely unaware of the consequences.

It has made me think.

I will use my position to better the lives of the working class. I am not sure how, but I will continue to work night and day until I come up with some way to help them. Quite.

Goodbye for now Diary. I hope I’m not giving you nightmares over this.

This...is news to me.

Honestly, up until now I thought the worst we had to put up with was the Smog that would sometimes envelop the capital. My Science Minister is correct - My Little Ponies are suffering because I was negligent.

He assures me however that he has a plan of some kind. Some new invention that’s supposed to make hazardous or mundane work easier for the Ponies in the workplace. If it means stopping the young Fillies and Colts from being harmed, so be it. I approved immediately.

And yet, I am not sure if this was the right thing. Bureaucracy was so much easier with Luna around.

Not ‘dis crackpot again.

Ah honestly thought ah’d be rid of ‘im by now, but now ‘e’s back with some new contraption of ‘is. E’s asked me to put togetha some kind ‘o metal pony. “Bright Spark” ah ask ‘im “Ooh sure ‘dis ain’t gonna blow up, or try ta maul ‘da boys, or conquer Equestria?”. As usual ‘owever, e doesn’t listen. E just started talking about Tea instead.

‘Dis is gonna take a while...


Dear diary,

YES!

After two years of hard work around the clock, with countless amounts of taxpayer’s bits invested into it, I’ve done it! My Iron Mare model 1 is complete and operates without exploding, or leaking magic!

...Maybe I should explain a few things, yes? Quite.

The Iron Mare model 1 is a prototype Mechanical Pony, designed to augment Pony workforces - especially those working in dangerous or mundane tasks. The idea is the Ponies can work in a safe environment, while the Iron Mare handles tasks like repairing boilers, handling dangerous machinery or even doing repetitive tasks, like the mountains of paperwork I’ve been buried in.

It’s a mechanical marvel. It’s voice operated, and I’ve managed to tell it how to complete certain tasks. That was indeed the longest part - originally devised as a clockwork system, we switched out to utilising something more akin to the Zebgerian Golems and Sphinxes - while they used their alchemy to create a working power and memory system, we’ve opted to use a magic powered core embedded in the centre of the unit. The metal around the core was made of freshly forged and reinforced steel rather than Iron, to prevent leaks. Their only flaw is their power supply, but luckily enough we found a nearby Unicorn can simply zap it to make it work again. This unique ability also provides them with an immunity to spells of a sort, as it simply eats the spell to recharge itself...as my dear friend IronJack found out to his dismay. Quite the mess that day. Quite.

Maybe now the people might be more open to Celestia’s proposed reforms about the state of industry in Equestria? I’m glad she’s at least trying to turn things around, but as ever she could try and do more. Her reforms have been opposed by every Foremare, Workhouse owner and Inventor up and down the state. Quite.

Anyway, I am presenting the prototype to the Princess tomorrow. I hope she likes it.

That was quite the wall of exposition, Diary. I hope I haven't drowned you in that.

Well, today was a welcome relief from the usual hassle. All of My Little Ponies don’t seem to like my reforms. It’s not fair. I’m trying to do the right thing, but no one seems to like that. I’m trying to make life better for everyone, but nopony follows the rules. I could just strip them of their assets, but what if the people who replace them turn out to be worse? What if our industry is hampered by this? What if we’re invaded?

Luna would know the answer. But she’s not even here anymore. Was that even the right thing to do? Even now I still think I should have found a better way...

Anyways, enough self-pity for the records. Let’s talk about something happier, shall we?

My Science Minister - Bright Spark - showed up again. I haven’t seen that crackpot in two years, and sure enough he shows up, his hair spiked and lined with grease and wearing a trenchcoat and a set of goggles. I ask what’s with the get up, and he told me that this is the normal look for a moderately wealthy Pony down in Cubesbury. I laugh - most people would have taken this super seriously, with formal attire and everything. Instead, he walks into the palace like he’s spent two years stuck in an engine.

I knew i’d chosen my Science Minister well.

At any rate, he was accompanied by a copper coloured pony, with a pair of large yellow glowing eyes. He called it his “Iron Mare Mark I”. I asked him why he hadn’t given it a name - it was a Pony after all. He just looked confused. I walked down and examined the Pony. I thought of a few - Brackman, Redwood, Junkion...I think he suggested something like “Wells”. When I asked him why that name, he said it was his favourite author - an up-and-coming and rather eccentric Pony who’d written some rather outstanding and impossible tales - an Extra-Equestrian invasion, Non Magical Time Travel and even some rather bizarre story about a new foodstuff that ends up changing the face of Equestria as we know it.

In the end, we settled on Verne. Well, he wanted to call it something Wells, so I decided to name it after the other Author I was reading the other day. He looked like he disagreed, but we had a demonstration to get on with.

He gave Verne an order to take two steps forwards. There was a hiss and a clank as Verne obeyed the instruction without any hesitation. It worked! Bright Spark informs me we can start making them immediately, and has already given several factories the right to manufacture them. He’s set about to other tasks, though he personally is not going to stop working on improving the Iron Mares...or so he tells me.

Work’s been harder than usual. The work at the factory’s only gotten worse from how it was a few days ago - I’m lucky I still have my job. Boss has been slowly and gradually replacing us with more of those...those things. Those Automatons.

They can do the work of ten mares, and only need a Unicorn nearby to give them a recharge after a few hours of work. I’m starting to see entire families being forced out onto the street, living among the filth and grime and competing with the rats for so much as table scraps because they can’t afford to keep their income coming in. Most people have even stopped hiring, preferring to replace us honest working Ponies with those iron mockeries. Apparently, we’re too expensive to keep the place running.

Good thing those things come cheap.

Well nah.

Ah’ll hand it to dat chap. ‘E finally built somethin’ that don’t blow up AND is actually useful. Da boys are all uppity ‘bout the new metal one we’ve called “Smith” or sommit’. Ah forget da full name.

On da otha hand, Cubesbury’s turned inta an nice place. Ah’m makin’ a decent profit feh once, and da town’s got ah bit o’ pride to it.More of dose Iron Mare’s made ‘dere way out of mah factory than anywhere else right now, and ah owe it to da boys ‘ard werk to make it ‘appen.


Dear diary,

This is an outrage! How dare he?!

*ahem*

War Minister Draigo Ward has petitioned Celestia herself to weaponize the Iron Mare! And it worked! I’m tasked to design several new Iron Mare’s to the War Minister’s standards. He’ll probably want them painted blue and armed with more weapons than they can conceivably lift, with armor that’ll severely hinder their performance. Or something. Quite.

I never wanted to have my inventions hurt other Ponies, but now I guess I have no choice, do I?

I just hope you know what you're doing, ma'am.


My dearest Nova,

I have served in the Stalliongrad militia for the best part of three years by now. In my time you know of the things I’ve seen these Mareguard barbarians do. However, today I saw something that shook me to my core.

We’d been given new supplies. Specifically, experimental weaponry. We got a wagon laden with these fanciful new “Aquebruisers” as they’re calling them. It’s like a long tube with a handle you squeeze to throw a projectile at your target. They’re supposed to be used from a distance. But the strangest thing they gave us caused the ground to shake at it’s passing. A monstrous brass pony, as high as the church steeple with glowing demonic eyes that resembled the gates of Erebus. It lumbered forwards with a deafening hiss and a clank that shook the ground like the steps of almighty Epona herself. It then just stood there, while a black Unicorn hopped down from on top of it. She introduced it as Syrbotae - as if this monster had a name for itself! We were just lucky that unlike the Giants in the hills nearby, it required no food or drink, or we’d have dried up before they came!

Yes, they. A couple of days later, we we heard the horn from the Sentry - a Marescan raiding party was on it’s way. Sure enough, this was the best time to test out the new Equipment. We held that brass monster back, and set about setting up the Aquebruisers - which in themselves, were not very effective weapons, as we found to our dismay as the raiders arrived ashore.

They were very effective, granted - but you required another Pony to brace the weapon, so the one holding the weapon could fire. It took two minutes between shots to properly prepare the weapons, as we had to use this special powder, pave the inside with a brush, and then load in the projectile. The weapons were very inaccurate, but when they actually hit, they managed to slay one from a greater distance than we could manage with mere Javelins.

Other Ponies like myself had closed in with the foul brutes, who smelled of rotting meat and spoiled cider. I cleaved at least three before an exceptionally large ship made it ashore. The ramp lowered itself, and the air seemed to get unseasonably cold. Then it walked forwards - a colossal Pony easily as tall as our brass mockery. Except this was the genuine article - confirmed when it breathed it’s frosty breath over a small group of Militia, freezing them instantly.

They’d bought a Jotunn with them. One of the Ice Giants from the north. They were either crazy or desperate - no doubt it wanted it’s share of whatever they plundered. Not willing to take the risk, that brass Behemoth committed itself to battle at the behest of it’s rider. It glared at the other Titan, and the air became warm for a few moments, before it simply turned to ash.

Just like that, the Jotunn was gone. But it didn’t stop there.

The beast strode forwards, heedless of anything in it’s path, friend or foe. It’s rider seemed to be giving commands, but something tells me it wasn’t following them - as if possessed of malicious intent, an almost sadistic personality. Each time it glared at a group of raiders, there was a bright flash as each was instantly turned to ash. The warband leader stepped forwards, but he too was no proof against the metallic demon we had released - the strange weapon struck him down too.

The raiders turned and fled, and I endeavored to avoid the Behemoth as it strided forth. I was visibly shaken at what I had just seen - not even they, as barbaric as they were - had developed such an inhuman weapon.

I handed in my resignation soon after. I will be back in Trottingham before long.

Take care my love,
<Sender unknown - record possibly tampered with>

Blessings to the Iron Ones!

We of the Cult of Kotar are gathered here today to bless the Iron ones. They who are superior in every conceivable way! They are stronger than us! Smarter than us! Better looking than us! And soon, the flesh shall be replaced with the cold, metallic shell of the Machine!

The flesh is weak! Power to the Machine!

<Archivist’s note - It is likely this is the opening to a sermon of a long forgotten cult that worshiped technology, rather than our patron lady Celestia. Though the document is incomplete, it’s inclusion shows a very disturbing mindset among some Ponies of the time - it’s theorized that this Cult in particular made common practice of replacing perfectly healthy limbs and organs with mechanical equivalents. This likely shortened the subjects lifespan, if surgical techniques and technologies of the time are anything to go by, and that this practice no longer exists.>