There is something about forests that just seems to bug the ever living crap out of anybody who enters them. And it's not the bugs, no those things are pretty cool. The thing that usually annoys people is the feeling of constantly being watched with the threat of being ambushed by a violent predator being present at any possible moment. Oh wait, I think I just described paranoia, oh well, that was definitely what Black spy was feeling as he slowly walked along the forest trail. There were many reasons that both spies hated nature, and that feeling of being watched was one of them. There were also the annoyance of bugs, thorn bushes, pollen, and all that other nasty forest stuff.
Regardless, Black spy now wandered through the forest alone and isolated, seeing as he and White had split up yet again. Next time however, it was guaranteed that Black would kill him, he was sure of it. However, Black needed to find his own hideout sooner or later, a place to call his home away from home, his base of operations, his casa, you get the drift. Thankfully, this forest would no doubt be able to help with that, maybe there would be a random cave off the beaten path which could conceal him as he deviously worked to plan his revenge on White. And also, you know, find a way out of this technicolor nightmare, but when White spy is involved, any other objective is secondary. Speaking of which, Black Spy probably needed to compile a list of things he needed to do, and as such he pulled out a clipboard and pen as he got to writing.
Objective: Escape This Technicolor Nightmare.
Step 1: Get Revenge On White Spy.
Step 2: (Optional) Take Over The World.
Step 3: Find a Way To Escape This World.
Step 4: ???
Step 5: Profit.
Yep, that seems like a fine and dandy to-do list. It always paid to be organized and coordinated, no matter if you're an average nine to five office workers or a secret super-spy bent on world domination.
Now then, back to focusing on finding a place to build his hideout, Black spy continued waltzing along the path between the trees before eventually spotting a slight clearing in the trees, allowing him to see what appeared to be a cave hollowed out in the side of a large mountain looming over the forest. Deciding that this was the best place for his hideout, the Black Spy quickly got off the path and walked into the cave, quickly pulling out a flashlight and seeing the cave was quite large, with stalactites extending down from the ceiling as water droplets fell into tiny puddles of water.
It would be the perfect cave... If it weren't for the absolutely MASSIVE furry bear with all sorts of weird constellations and stars on it. Thankfully, the massive beast was sleeping, so maybe if Black Spy could just slowly back away, he could-
Snap!
Damn you random conveniently placed branch!
ROAR!
Meanwhile, back with the White Spy, you may be wondering what he was currently getting up to... So allow me answer that question in the most blunt and direct way possible.
He was climbing up the side of a mountain.
Why was he climbing to the top of a mountain?
Because it was the ideal place for a hideout of course! Not like some dumb cave or a shack in the woods, nobody would waste time and effort climbing a mountain, and thus it was both secretive and secure! Of course, going back up and down was an issue, but with enough digging White could set up an elevator to the bottom. Regardless, the spy continued his ascent, soon approaching the peak of the mountain as his suit blended in with the snow descending down from the heavens, frigid winds blowing as ice cicles grew on his nose. Continuing his trek forward, snow clumped on his feet, frost covered his eyes, and at this rate the ice cicles on his nose had grown so long it looked like an ice beard, all while being blinded by the now raging blizzard!
Luckily, the Spy unknowingly tripped and fell into a hot spring, the ice melting off of him as let out a sigh of relief. As he rose from the water and dried out his hat, he looked to see the summit of the mountain in his sight, as he slowly climbed up the rock wall, before finally reaching the peak and placing a white flag atop it with his face plastered on. As far as he knew, there were no other flags on this mountain, so he was the first to climb it, and as such he got to name it.
From hence forth, this mountain would be White Mountain! Real on the nose title.
Regardless, this peak would now serve as where he would construct his glorious headquarters. He could already see the floor plan, a helicopter landing pad here, a plane runway there, a long-range artillery cannon over there, maybe use that hot spring to fuel a thermal melta-cannon, heck White could probably build whatever he wanted up here to rain down havoc and destruction from a safe distance. Of course, there was the limitation of supplies, so a measly shack would have to do for now until he could acquire more materials.
Setting down his toolbox and drawing from it some sheets of metal, wooden boards, and a hammer and some nails, the White Spy got to work hammering away at the frame of his new villainous headquarters. However, just when the frame was almost completed, he heard the familiar sound of his stomach growling. Finishing up the frame, he turned to open his bag full of apples only to see he had already ate them all on the way up the mountain.
Fiddle sticks... Where to get more food? Wait, there were those bunnies he had seen before, and now he knew they were vicious if they got the jump on you, so why not just hunt one down and ambush it for dinner? Grabbing his hunting rifle from his bag, the spy snickered before sliding down the side of the mountain.
It's rabbit season!
Ah, a peaceful pleasent evening, a lovely day for a picnic honestly. Well, it would be, if it weren't for-
BANG!
The small bunny rabbit rapidly dodged and retreated from the many rounds being fired out of the White spy's hunting rifle as they pursued their prey, before quickly coming to a stop as a rather forboding sight appeared in front of them.
A whole dang bear. Menacingly standing over him with brown fur and dark eyes staring into his soul. However, that quickly changed when another gun shot rang out, a bullet wizzing past the bears head and caused it to roar before retreating, this time coming from behind the White spy as he turned to see Black spy, his clothes torn with scratch and bite marks his body as he pulled back the bolt on the rifle and chambered another round.
Well, that's nice, the Black spy saved the White spy- Oh wait no, he was aiming for White's head.
BANG!
Quickly ducking to avoid the shot, the White spy aimed his own rifle trying to hit the Black spy, pulling the trigger only to hear an empty click as he realized he was out of ammo, before throwing the rifle aside and drawing his revolver as he fired several shots which the Black spy rolled away from straight up pulling out an Uzi and unleashing a hail of bullets. The White spy barely had time to duck into cover behind a tree, loading new shots into his revolver before a lightbulb appeared over his head, snickering as he proceeded to procure a frag grenade from his pocket, pulling the pin and tossing it to Black spy's feet, as he proceeded to look down and scream before kicking it right back towards White, who was busy with his eyes closed and fingers in his ears as he snickered to himself before looking down to see his own grenade.
Well fu-
KABOOM!
Black spy snickered, having successfully acquired his vengeance as he pulled out his checkboard and crossed out objective 2. Whistiling to himself as he walked down the trail and eventually disappeared from sight, a very burnt looking White Spy emerged from the scorched bush, dusting himself off before kicking the tree next to him enraged at his loss, only for a coconut to somehow fall out of the tree and fall on him, bouncing off of his head before somehow bouncing all the way down the path. The sound of a distant Bonk! was heard as well as a yelp of pain as White snickered to himself, before promptly collapsing from coconut concussion.
How was there a coconut tree in the forest?
It's the everfree forest, nothing makes sense.
Next time, on Spy Vs. Spy Vs. Equestria!
The venting of steam and clanking of gears was heard as the heavy machine slowly rolled along the ground, it's treads slowly pulling it forward as it left distinct tracks. The distinct sound of a shell being loaded into the main cannon was heard, along with the connection of a belt of bullets into the machine gun. The cannon slowly adjusted it's aim, slightly lowering before locking onto the large confectionary shaped building.
Time to recreate the literal form of the word 'Sugar-Bomb'.