Equestria Noir

Case 10

“Pinkie Party”

Dedicated to: GamermanZendrelex

Chapter 1

“Birthday?”

The one downside to living in Ponyville that I can think of is that everypony shares the same alarm clock. That alarm clock is called “Whenever Vinyl wakes up”

Because like clockwork every morning at exactly seven o’ clock you wake up to this.

I opened my eyes drowsily and covered my ears at the roaring bass that came from Vinyl’s house. As much as I enjoyed her waking us up in the morning I was too tired to deal with her. I got up off my bed and stretched my legs. It was then I heard a crash from the kitchen.

I sighed and walked out of my room and into the kitchen. There, trying to reach the top cupboard while trying to keep his wheel chair in place was Tailspin. I frowned and used my magic to get his cereal down “Tailspin you couldn’t have waited five minutes for me to come down?”

Tailspin frowned “I just didn’t want you to work as hard, I could’ve reached it” He said as he rolled to the table and poured the cereal in a bowl.

I looked over at the table and found my breakfast all laid out. The toast was just the way I liked it with butter. Orange juice was poured and even my coffee was just the way I liked it. I looked over at my little brother suspiciously “Okay what’s going on?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Tailspin said trying to sound innocent. He was a horrible liar.

Tailspin looked at me, saw that I saw through his ploy, and looked at his cereal “I wanted…well…Private it’s almost your birthday and…”

That’s right, this weekend is my birthday. I’ll be twenty five years old; I’ve been alive for a quarter of a century. I smiled at Tailspin bemused “You did all of this because it’s almost my birthday?”

“I wanted to make sure you didn’t waste time if you had plans” Tailspin said honestly

“Tailspin I don’t have any plans for my birthday” I said as I set my plates down on the table and began to eat “You know it’s just a small celebration every year”

“Yeah but- Private you’ve worked so hard, you just got back from Canterlot two days ago” He took a bite of his cereal and then looked at me guilty. He was about to speak when I made a motion for him to swallow. When he did he spoke
“Private you deserve to have a little fun once in a while”

I simply smiled and finished my breakfast without hearing another word of conversation on the subject. I just didn’t see the need to celebrate being alive for twenty five years. As much as I appreciated Tailspin caring he was worrying over nothing. If anything I should be worried about Hearth’s Warming. You never know what a ten year old might ask for.
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My objective today was simple, get to Twilight’s place and pick up my ordered copy of the latest chemistry books and maybe stay depending on what she’s in the mood for.

It was a rather nice autumn day with the leaves turning various shades of orange. Everypony was clad in jackets and other warm clothing to accommodate for the weather. I never had to worry about cold weather as I always wore my trench coat wherever I went.

As I passed a flower stand I crashed into a running pony. We both fell to the ground in a heap and I rubbed the back of my head. “Watch where you’re going”

“Terribly sorry” I heard an accented voice say as the stallion walked over and helped me up. He was my age by the looks of him with a brown coat and a long wavy brown mane. An orange striped scarf was around his neck and he had a strange cutie mark. An hourglass?

He looked at me with the most energetic blue eyes I’ve ever seen “Um you wouldn’t happen to have seen a…strange looking screwdriver would you?”

I raised an eyebrow at this guy. His voice sounded like he was from Trottingham but the accent was a little different “What kind of screwdriver?”

“Well if you press the doicky on the thingy it spins around and glows on the end and does all sorts of…” He noticed my confused expression “Just if you see it let me know alright”

I slowly nodded; this guy was weird even by Ponyville standards. I watched him walk away with retaining my confused expression. He seemed…out of place somehow. I noticed he had a little trouble walking. Like he didn’t have hooves his whole life…

I was over thinking this; he was probably high on some drug and is seeing me as a pink elephant. I turned and began a brisk walk to Twilight’s place.
___________________________________________________________
Spike greeted me as I came to Twilight’s library. “Hey Private, come on in”

I nodded and walked inside the library. I was about to sit down and enjoy a nice book while Spike went to get Twilight. But then…the feeling came…

You know that feeling you get right before she appears? Like she’s slowly rising in the background behind you like a predator stalking her prey? Yeah, I felt it.

I ducked before Pinkie could fling herself at me in a hug. She landed rather haphazardly on the table and knocked it over. But she somehow recovered from a potentially deadly injury and hopped to me “Hiya Private! I haven’t seen you in like forever! I know we’ve see each other a lot but I really miss being a part of the story! There was this one time whe-“

I shoved a hoof in her mouth “Good to see you too Pinkie Pie” I set my book down and watched as Twilight descended the steps.

I nodded and walked to her taking my hoof out of Pinkie’s mouth. She happily followed me as I took the books Twilight gave to me. Twilight looked at me “So got any plans this week?”

I shrugged “Aww nothing special” I then debated whether I should tell Twilight or not. It couldn’t hurt for her to know right? “Well this weekend is my birthday but I haven’t got any plans…”

I really hate it when I open my stupid mouth. Bad things happen when I do when a certain Pink pony is within earshot. Pinkie Pie’s eyes dilated and then she shrieked in delight.

She leapt into the air in surprise and glee “Private your birthday is this weekend!? This’ll be your first birthday in Ponyville! I’ll make you an awesome party to celebrate the occasion! What’s your favorite kind of cake chocolate or vanilla?!”

I shook my head again “No Pinkie I don’t want you to spend all the bits and energy in doing it”

Pinkie crossed her hooves like a foal after being told she couldn’t have a cookie “Yes party”

“Yes there will be a party damn it!” I said slamming my hoof on the ground to affirm the statement.

Twilight and Spike were laughing about the fact I fell for Pinkie’s trick. I sighed and facehoofed in embarrassment. It’s not that I didn’t appreciate Pinkie for wanting to give me a party. I just didn’t feel right having her do something when I didn’t ask for it. I guess I should know better than to try and win an argument with her though.

It was then that I noticed something on the table. It was a strange device about the size of a pen. Upon closer inspection of the object I saw several dials and buttons on the device. I looked over at Twilight “What is this?”

Twilight, who recovered from her fits of laughter at my expense, looked at the object I gestured to “I don’t know what it is. It fell out of Time Turner’s pocket when he left in a hurry”

Twilight shook her head “I don’t know much about him. He kind of just shows up once in a while. Nopony really talks to him except for Derpy and she doesn’t know that much about him”

My horn glowed as I tried to pick up the object with magic. Suddenly the object came to life and emitted a loud noise that sounded like screeching. I covered my ears and canceled my magic on the device. The light at the end stopped glowing and it returned to its dormant state.

Twilight stared at the device and looked at me “It reacted when you used magic on it. I wonder…” She used her own magic on it and the device literally turned invisible. Twilight canceled her magic on it and stared at the reappeared device “I was just trying to levitate it”

I picked up the device “Maybe it just doesn’t like magic” I shrugged and put the device in my trench coat “If I see Time Turner I’ll give this back to him. What does he look like?”

Twilight’s description matched the stallion I saw earlier. I walked outside with my books in saddle bags and carefully put the strange device in my trench coat pocket. As I walked out of Twilight library I shook my head. This was turning into an incredibly strange-

I fell back as Time Turner ran into me. We both fell back on our backs. I shook my head and looked at the strange stallion “You’re Time Turner right?”

It took him a minute before he nodded “Yes that’s me. Time Turner the pony who um…does time”

I simply shook my head and pulled out the strange tool from my trench coat “You were looking for this?”

His blue eyes went wide and he smiled “Thank you so much! You have no idea how embarrassing it is to lose that! Carrying that darn thing around with hooves can be such a chore”

“What do you mean? You just pick it up like this” I said holding the tool in my hoof

He raised an eyebrow and reached to take the tool from me. It fell out of his hoof “Blast!” He said as he tried to pick it up off the ground.

I simply rolled my eyes and picked it up for him “What is this thing anyway?”

“Uh…an invention of mine…” He said but then he suddenly picked it up in his mouth. I couldn’t make what he was saying with the thing in his mouth. I think it was something along the lines of: “Thankyousomuchhaveagreatdaygoodbyenow!!”

With that he took off leaving me very confused. I watched him run off…something was not right about that pony. This coming from the fact I live in a town with Lyra and Pinkie Pie in it.
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Saturday rolled around and I was told my party would be at Sugar Cube Corner. It was where Pinkie Pie lived and worked with the Cake family. I never really asked how Pinkie ended up living with them. I guess she threw so many parties with their food they just decided to let her stay.

The place was packed with ponies from all across town. Just as I walked in I was greeted by cheers and shouts from the party guests. I flushed a little in embarrassment at all of this. Suddenly I was yanked into the crowd by Pinkie Pie “Hiya Private! Great party don’t ya think?”

I looked around; the place was heavily decorated with streamers and balloons everywhere. Tables of food were everywhere and a large punch bowl was raided by Berry Punch. Her friend Colgate was trying to keep the drunk away from whatever was in the punch bowl.

Music was provided by the legendary DJ-PON3 herself. She moved with an expert’s grace around her music player. The music was upbeat and catchy to the point I found my hoof tapping absent mindedly to the beat. The music quickly shifted to pure rock when Raiden plugged his guitar into the amp. Vinyl frowned, but shrugged and added her own mix to Raiden’s songs.

Several Ponies were chatting away and waved whenever I looked over at them. I left Pinkie behind and found Rainbow hovering over the dancing crowd waving at Raiden. Raiden gestured that I had arrived and Rainbow landed in front of me.

“Thanks Dash” I said with a nod of thanks “How are things going with you and Scootaloo?”

She flapped her wings in happiness “It’s awesome! She’s really coming along as a flier! Just yesterday she managed to fly for a full ten minutes without dropping”

I didn’t know much about flying but I guessed that was impressive. I simply smiled at my cyan friend "That's great to hear" I turned my attention to Raiden who was currently locked in a musical battle to the death with Vinyl. My smile turned slightly sly “And you and Raiden?”

Her cyan coat turned as red as the red part of her rainbow mane. She rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment “Well I mean we…”

“You two are dating now right?" I asked inquisitively "Has anything happened?”

Rainbow continued to flush “Well last night he…well…I mean it all happened so fast I…kissed him...”

Dash’s wings shot up and she tried to flatten them while I laughed. Dash may seem cool and confident but when it came to Raiden she cracked a little. She glared at me as I laughed “If you tell anypony this I’ll kill you!”

“Don’t worry Rainbow” I said smiling warmly “Your secret’s safe with me. I wouldn’t jeopardize losing our friendship”

“FOREVER!!!” Pinkie shouted suddenly appearing beside me. I leapt into the air and slammed back to the ground.

Dash simply laughed and went to join the dancing crowd. Pinkie tilted her head “Private do I really have to explain where foals come from-“

Pinkie shrugged “I just got to make sure everypony keeps their Pinkie Promises”

I sighed; I gave up trying to figure out this pink pony long ago. Then Pinkie’s eyes went passed me and looked at a nearby table. “Somepony doesn’t look like he’s having fun…”

I looked to where she was looking. There sitting there was a unicorn with a long red mane and a white coat. He wore some kind of jacket that covered pretty much his entire body including his cutie mark. Why would he wear a jacket indoors? It’s not that cold.

His eyes, a deep green, were looking at the crowds. He seemed unsure of how to approach others.

Pinkie hopped passed me and ran to the unicorn. She talked excitedly to the unicorn about something. He looked suddenly nervous and avoided Pinkie’s gaze. Pinkie tilted her head and spoke gently to the unicorn. He shook his head and said something I couldn’t hear over Raiden’s and Vinyl's music duel.

Pinkie simply smiled at the guy and pulled him by the hoof into the crowds. At first he looked very nervous and scared almost. But he seemed to relax when Pinkie took his hoof. He was pulled onto the dance floor and the two were lost in the crowd.

I smiled and chuckled. That was Pinkie Pie for you, always eager to make a friend. I decided to indulge in the food and ventured to where Applejack was serving her trademark apple pies. The country mare smiled upon seeing me “Howdy Private! Happy Birthday!”

My stomach growled in response. Once you’ve tasted one apple treat your body desires only more. I then felt a tug on my trench coat and looked down to see Applebloom holding a pie in front of her. “Howdy Private! Care to try one of mine?”

I decided to humor the filly and took a slice of pie with my magic. I took a bite in it and regretted it. It tasted awful but Applebloom’s eyes were on me. Darn those eyes they would drive a man to do anything the filly wanted! I swallowed the pie and smiled a little “Uh, try not to use too much sugar next time”

Applebloom nodded and ran to the kitchen for a second try. I looked over at Applejack “What’s up with Applebloom?”

My orange friend chuckled “She’s mighty fond of ya Private. Ever since you helped us get Big Mac out of jail she’s been talkin nonstop bout ya. It’s kind of cute ta be honest”

I laughed a little. I haven’t had a filly develop a crush on me before. It was cute and I was glad it was only simple admiration. The way Cherilee talks about some of the student crushes she’s had to deal with you’d think these kids fight a secret war for us adults.

I accepted some proper apple pies from Applejack and moved on. After finishing up eating I watched Big Mac moving about the party. He smiled upon seeing me and walked over.

Both of us watched as Lyra and Bon-Bon walked out together into another room. Big Mac tilted his head and then chuckled “Bout time those two got together”

I simply smiled and my curiosity was egging me to ask “Hey Big Mac? You got a somepony?”

“There’s gotta be somepony you like, big guy like you must’ve attracted your fair share of mares” I asked sipping some punch

He shrugged “Ah don’t really talk to mares much…too shy…” He said his red coat darkening a little as he confessed.

“Ah don’t know…that maybe they wouldn’t want a work horse that has to think of his family first? Ah just never gave it much thought before. I mean...what mare would like me?”

My eyes scanned the crowd for prospective mares for Big Mac. Colgate? Too talkative about dental hygiene for a quiet guy like Big Mac. Berry Punch? I don’t know if she’d even see Big Mac with how drunk she gets. Carrot Top? Nah, I think she’s too busy trying to keep her farm going and Ditzy out of her fridge. Cloudchaser and Flitter? Those two are never separated I’d think they would both just try to date Big Mac at the same time. I don't think Big Mac could handle two mares if he has this much trouble finding one.

Then my eyes fell on Fluttershy. She was by herself watching the other ponies dancing. Quiet, shy, kind and caring? Perfect! I looked over at Big Mac “What about Fluttershy?”

Big Mac’s green eyes followed my hoof and he looked at her. His expression slowly brightened upon seeing the butter yellow Pegasus. He looked at me and simply smiled “Eeyup…”

I watched the work horse walk towards her. I left the two with some privacy but before I knew it I was yanked by the leg onto the dance floor. I looked to see it was Twilight that pulled me. She smiled shyly upon seeing me “Hey Private, happy birthday”

I blushed a little and smiled as the music slowed “Thanks, this party is something else”

I smiled and looked at Twilight in her eyes “So, what did you get me for my birthday?”

She smiled as well and brought her nose inches from mine. “Oh, nothing much…just this…”

She pulled me into a loving kiss. I returned it and ponies stomping around me in approval. I swear I heard Berry Punch shout “Aww now go and make out with her already!!” She passed out after that as me and Twilight flushed in embarrassment at suddenly becoming the center of attention.

The excitement of the party went well into the night…I was happy really. I didn’t really think I’d gain so many friends coming here. But looking at this party…it really puts things in perspective how much one pony can mean to a town.

Equestria Noir Case 10 "Pinkie Party"

by Jacoboby1

Chapter 1 "Birthday?"