//------------------------------// // What a Clutz! Zirconis vs Clutzy, prepare to Doo battle! // Story: The Displaced Tournament of Power // by Uncle Iroh //------------------------------// 03:42:51 Arkham opened his eyes as he sat straight up, “Where am I?” Arkham asked hoarsely, looking around, trying to find where he was and Noel was. “Noel?” Arkham’s voice cracked. “Oh? Ha! Damn, you’re awake kid! Wow, that was fast.” An unfamiliar voice spoke up, huffing with a chuckle. “Oh, try not to move around much. My medical abilities aren't quite what they used to be.” The voice sounded distant, yet Arkham couldn’t really tell, his ears were ringing slightly. Arkham held his head, he found his mask was still there, he sighed in relief. “Where is Noel, is he safe? Is he alright?” Arkham asked, turning towards the voice, though he couldn’t see him, his vision was still blurry. “I mean, that depends on what exactly you’re asking.” The voice said with a hint of hesitance that made Arkham worry. “If by safe, you mean physically? Then I don’t know. But, if you mean safe, as in still in the tournament?” The voice paused, before sighing, rather sadly. “I’m sorry kid. Z and I weren’t able to save him.” Arkham clenched his teeth and stood up, falling over already. “No! He can’t be, that I had an armor that…” Arkham began to remember what transpired, the fight, Clutzy, and Sora… “No… I was too weak…” Arkham said, as he pushed himself to lay on his back. “Damn it…” The sound of someone walking over to him resonated, before the person stopped, and the sound of shuffling gave him the impression that the person had sat right next to him. “I know how you feel kid, but hey, look on the brightside!” “The brightside? I’m barely conscious, unable to move well, Akainu is searching for Ichigo and who knows what havoc might wreck because of that. Bullet and Fujitora are running around kicking ass, and they’re probably gonna cripple someone. Probably Bullet but not Fujitora.” Arkham’s voice cracked as he tried to clench his fists. “Huh… Well, aren’t you just a ray of sunshine?” The voice asked rhetorically. “Y’know, you may be down, but are you out? No. You’re not. Take that as a blessing, not just because Z saved your ass, but also because we’re giving you a second chance to win this damn thing.” The voice told Arkham sternly. “There’s something someone I once fought a long time ago said, ‘the minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on for so long’. It may be a pretty simple quote, but it’s a powerful one. You fought for your friend, Noel. So, keep fighting for them. Even though they’re out, you are not. That is the brightside.” “You’re right… I’m going to win this tournament no matter the cost, I’m going to win for Noel.” Arkham said, “Is… Is there anything you can do to make me stronger?” Arkham asked. “Well… there is one way.” The voice stated, the hesitance in saying it more clear than ever. “Let me introduce myself first. I am Acnori Quill, the reincarnation of Dragon King Acnologia, and the Time Dragon Slayer.” Quill introduced himself. “And… if you’re willing to risk losing your humanity, or whatever you are… I’ll… I’ll give you the means of learning Dragon Slaying Magic.” “My humanity was lost long ago,” Arkham pressed a button on his mask and revealed his cybernetic face. Half human, half robot. “Huh.” Quill sounded slightly shocked, but then Arkham could hear him stifle a small laugh. “Well, then you’ll probably appreciate being turned into a dragon. So, there’s that.” Quill said, the hesitance in his voice returning. “Look kid, I’m not gonna lie. There’s really only one way that I have currently available to give you Dragon Slaying Magic, and if you’re not strong enough, mentally and spiritually… I’ll have to kill you, lest you become a psychotic monster that wants nothing more than to consume dragon blood. Even with that risk, will you still choose to become a Dragon Slayer?” Quill asks softly. “Yes,” Arkham replied, he now had the strength to clench his fists. Quill was silent, before the sound of something, something very sharp, cutting flesh open hit Arkham’s ears. “Then you’ll want to open your mouth, and try not to vomit when the taste hits your tongue.” Arkham switched his mask off and opened his mouth, revealing metal teeth. It took less than a second before Arkham felt a viscous liquid touch his tongue, and he nearly barfed. The texture alone was absolutely disgusting, and it felt like a warm tar as it leaked down his throat. Then he registered what the actual taste was, knowing the familiar metallic flavor, Arkham couldn’t help but tense his body as he realized; he was drinking blood. Fighting the undeniably harsh urge to snap his mouth closed and attack the Dragon Slayer feeding him, Arkham steeled himself and he kept his mouth open, trying to ignore the heavy iron smell that now permeated the air. For a few moments, Arkham continued to drink the tar-like blood, until it stopped, at which point Arkham closed his mouth quickly and begrudgingly swallowed what was left of the disgusting liquid. “Now, all we do is wait.” Quill whispered. Then, there was pain. Blinding pain. Pain that burned and torched his entire body, making him feel like he was being burned alive in hellfire. Every nerve he had was roaring at him, telling him that he was going to die, and it was almost as if his entire life was, quite literally, flashing before his eyes. His body spasmed as he felt the pain, and the thing is, he couldn’t even tell where the pain was coming from! It felt like it was coming from nowhere, and everywhere at the same time. He could feel the pain in his stomach, as it twisted, turned, warped, and churned in a disgusting manner, as he turned on his side and curled up a bit, wanting to heave, yet his muscles, for what little were left, were entirely unresponsive. He could feel his eyes being pressed and pounded like he had a migraine that felt like Akainu was repeatedly pounding on his skull with Armament Haki over, and over again without stopping. Speaking of which, the sounds- Gods, the fucking sounds that raced into his ears was overwhelming and he could barely restrain the urge to let out a scream of pain as his ears felt like they were bleeding, popping, ringing, and just flat-out exploding. Hell, Arkham even felt his lungs burning- no searing with heat, as he tried to take deep breaths of air, yet all that escaped his mouth was a dry wheeze of agony, needless to say: It. Was. Hellish. And it felt like that for what seemed like several hours before finally it stopped. However, in reality the entire process had only taken fifteen long minutes. When the pain had faded and it was all over, Arkham opened his eyes, having squeezed them shut due to the hell that he just experienced, and he saw the crimson eyes of who he guessed was Quill. “You, uh- you okay there? No, um- no insatiable urges to bleed me or anyone else like a pig?” Quill asked, with a raised eyebrow. “No…” Arkham grunted out, “I do want to kick Sora’s arse though…” Arkham wheezed. Giving a hearty laugh of relief, Quill replied. “Well, you must be better now. I’ll say one thing, the process may be excruciating, but hell, if the Draconic Regeneration ain’t worth it.” He chuckled. “Regeneration, huh? That’s good…” Arkham said, “So… What kind of magic do I have…?”  “Time Dragon Slayer Magic, like me.” Quill told him, a small smirk on his face. “One of the most powerful kinds of Dragon Magics. Though, it’s also one of the most destructive, being one of the keys to the aptly named Apocalypse Dragon Slayer Magic.” Quill elaborated. “Apocalypse Dragon Slayer Magic…? That sounds powerful.” Arkham mused. “Oh, you bet your fucking ass it is.” Quill told him. “It’s the very same magic I used before my reincarnation to commit genocide on damn near every dragon in Fiore, besides like… five, I think.” Quill hummed with thought, softly mumbling to himself. “Should I really count Igneel though, Null? I mean technically yeah, I did end him but still.” “Hm… Well then… I’ll just sit here and rest. Do you mind if you watch over me? I’m sorry if I’m being a burden.” Arkham asked Quill, turning his head to face the Dragon King. “Nah, I don’t mind. Besides, I used to be a doctor before being a Dragon Slayer, and old habits die hard.” Quill smiled warmly at the Commander. “Just don’t strain yourself too much. What you just went through was very strenuous on your body, and you need to give yourself time to adjust.” He explained before moving back. “And when you wake back up, I’ll teach you the basics of our Magic.” “Al… Alright…” Arkham closed his eyes and drifted off into a deep sleep. 03:43:16 The two stared at one another for a while neither moving, waiting for their opponent to make the first move. At least, until Zirconis smiled humorously. “Soooooo, what’s your Equestria like?” Zirconis asked, catching Clutzy off guard slightly. “Oh.” Clutzy’s guard dropped instantly, all wariness gone as he beamed at Zirconis. “It’s great! I mean, sure we had that kerfuffle with Discord a few months ago, and the heartless are a bit of a problem now, but Equestria’s mostly peaceful.” He chuckled. “Canterlot’s been in a bit of an uproar, though. With most of the nobility turned to heartless, Prince Sol has had to restructure the upper levels of government completely.” He flew closer to Zirconis and held a hoof up to his muzzle. “You know, there are rumors that Prince Sol was happy to be able to do that. If you ask me, the new government came together just a liiiittle too quickly for something that wasn’t already planned.” He giggled and backed up again. “MMMmmmmmm.” Zirconis hummed, absorbing the information. “Well, it’s good to hear that everything’s going well for you guys, honestly in my Equestria, things have been rather slow. And I mean that both literally and figuratively. I mean, what was a year for our friend, Edward, was only a little more than a day for us. Plus, the most we’ve had to deal with was a virus carrying dragon that Quill took care of, and two monstrous entities called Void Eaters. Both of which were taken care of by Quill and Edward.” Zirconis shrugged, leaning against a dead tree. “But, I have to ask, what are the dragons like in your world? I’m a dragon myself, and I’ve always wondered, seeing as I’ve only got my world’s dragons and other Fioren Dragons for reference.” Clutzy winced and smiled apologetically. “Um, from what I hear, not too good. I mean, the only one I’ve ever seen besides Spike was the one that almost choked Ponyville out when it tried to nap in Foal Mountain, but Fancy told me about his trip to the Dragon Lands with Sora and, well, they didn’t sound too nice. Apparently, there’s only really one who has enough light to use a keyblade, and… quite a few turned into heartless.” Zirconis himself cringed a little and hissed. “Yeesh, man, that sucks. Well, you’ll be happy to know that in my world, Dragons, for the most part, are okay. Some are assholes, some aren’t. Can’t really say much about the Fioren ones though, considering all of them, minus Quill and I, are dead.” Zirconis was then silent for a bit before he asked. “So… Do you wanna fight?” He asked with such casualness about it that it was almost comical. Clutzy winced again. “Um, not really?” His smile was awkward this time. “I mean, my main reason to fight before was to work on my teamwork with Jazz, Strongheart, and Fancy. With them gone… well, let’s just say I’m not kicking in Sora’s weight class. Besides, I’ve always been more of a lover than a fighter.” He brought up his blade again, his smile turning more sure. “But if you want to, I guess I won’t say no to some more practice. Just don’t expect too much from me.” Zirconis shrugged before getting off the tree, placing one of his hands in his pocket and smiling. “Well, as they say; Practice makes perfect.” He chuckled, holding his other hand to his side, as a green Magic Circle appeared. “Jade Dragon’s Claw.” Zirconis spoke, causing the Magic Circle to run up his hand and arm, stopping at his elbows, covering his arm in a jade armor, resembling that of a dragon’s claw. Clutzy lifted a single hoof in correction. “Actually, practice makes permanent, so you need to make sure you practice correctly. At least, that’s what they told us at flight camp.” He held up his keyblade and called out “Aero!” A small whirlwind formed around him, and he brought his blade up again to guard. Zirconis shrugged and said. “The more you know.” Before he crouched down leapt towards Clutzy, slamming his claw into the pegasus’s Keyblade with tremendous force. He then pushed against the wind current, trying to gain a good sense of the Magic that was being used. “Wind magic, eh? Reminds me a bit of that brat Dragon Slayer. Wendy, I think her name was.” Clutzy grunted. “Nothing much. Just a barrier.” He tucked his wings in to drop out of engagement, flaring them a moment later to ride a thermal back up at Zirconis. Unfortunately, he misjudged the thermal’s strength and was sent tumbling, slamming flank-first into his chest rather than hooves-first. Zirconis reflected that the hooves probably would have hurt less. “Okay, that’s a bit forward… or backwards, I guess.” Zirconis mumbled, taking a handful of Clutzy’s mane and tossing the pegasus away from him. The dragon in human form then held his hand out towards the edge of the cliff and spoke, incanting another spell. “Jade Dragon’s Pillar!” Suddenly, a large jade pillar broke from the ground, crossing under Zirconis, allowing him to stand and not fall into the void, as he looked back at his opponent. Clutzy rubbed the base of his mane as he smiled sheepishly at Zirconis. “Sorry, my bad.” He pointed at his right eye which spun independently in its socket for a moment. “Just got this fixed up a little bit ago. Not used to having good depth perception.” He giggled. “Weird. Having good eyesight is messing me up now more than when I had bad eyesight.” Zirconis smiled in understanding. “Nah, don’t worry, you’re not the only one who had a bit of trouble with adjusting to new things. Had to train for a straight week in order to get used to using my magic in this form.” He chuckled. “Though I don’t believe this fight would really be fair unless I’ve got wings too.” Zirconis smiled, as jade scales began forming around his body, his shirt essentially dissolving into similar jade scales around his stomach and chest, as large wings sprouted from his back, along with a jade green scaled tail. “That’s much better!” Zirconis laughed before launching off the jade pillar, breaking it in the process, and causing it to fall into the void as he sped towards Clutzy, his claws ready to attack. “Uh-oh.” Clutzy brought up his blade, blocking each strike as best he could. A couple of blows managed to get through, but Cluty was able to turn away so that they bruised more than they cut. “You’re pretty fast,” Clutzy grunted, blocking a swipe before dodging under another. “So are you!” Zirconis replied, as he stuck once more, sending Clutzy back, before holding out his claw. “Jade Dragon’s Tail Whip!” As the jade chain was created, Zirconis lashed it out towards Clutzy and wrapped it around one of his forehooves. “I always wanted to say this.” Zirconis chuckled before tugging the chain back, pulling Clutzy towards him. “GET OVER HERE!” He yelled with enthusiasm. Clutzy yelped, losing his balance completely and tumbling end over end. Rather than the semi-coordinated attempt at a counter Zirconis had been expecting, he found himself on the receiving end of a wildly flailing ball of hooves and feathers. “Sweet Ankhseram, what the hell is this fight?!” Zirconis asked with a laugh as he pushed Clutzy off, spitting out a few feathers. “This has got to be both the best and dumbest fights I’ve had, in quite a while, second only to the fight I had with that Wendy brat and the Fioren army, the latter of which I’d just disintegrated the clothes of, prior to fighting the former.” Zirconis chuckled, as he regained his bearings. “Sorry. Again.” Clutzy spit out a couple of feathers as well. “I really don’t know why this keeps happening!” He threw up his hooves in frustration, only to realize that the chain still wrapped around one of them had gotten further tangled in his blade, leaving the chain with very little slack. He had just enough time for his eyes to go wide before Zirconis was pulled into him, sending them both careening off once again. “OH SHIIIIT! AHAHAHAH!” Zirconis couldn’t help but laugh as he was pulled into a mid-air hug, getting tangled once again as the two were sent sprawling, luckily into the ground a bit away from the cliff. “Ok, that one was my fault.” Zirconis chuckled. “Um, Clutz? Is this really the time?” Clutzy and Zirconis looked up to see a smirking Sora hovering over them, a whirlwind around his ankles keeping him aloft. “Although,” he added, raising an eyebrow, “can’t say anything bad about your choice of fetish. Bondage. Nice.” Clutzy rolled his eyes, trying to fight down a blush. “I’m straight, Sora.” He dismissed Bubbly Protector for a moment and used the freedom to struggle out of the rest of the chains. “He’s just helping me practice fighting until someone finally knocks me out of the arena.” “I see.” Sora looked Zirconis up and down before smiling. “Take good care of him, yeah? Clutz’s got the potential to be one of the best guardians in history.” “Ah, don’t worry buddy, I’ll keep the kid safe.” Zirconis chuckled. “Also, about that bondage comment, you’re not far off. I mean, I have a spell that quite literally disintegrates the clothes off of whoever it touches. It’s literally designed to rid someone of their dignity, and I can’t remember why I made it, but God do I ever love it. It’s so hilarious to use.” Zirconis smiled, proud of himself. “Clothes?” Sora frowned. “Why would-” His eyes went wide. “Oh! Right! Humans have a nudity taboo. Forgot that for a bit.” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck. “Man, what other human norms am I going to have to start remembering, now?” Clutzy glared over at Zirconis. “Hey. I’m not a kid. In fact, I have a kid. You behave yourself, or I’ll spank you.” He saw Sora’s mouth open and cut him off. “Not like that! I swear, you’re as bad as Cloud Kicker.” Sora chuckled. “Sorry, Clutz, but when you’re dealing with immortals and other long-lived beings, anyone under a millennium becomes a kid.” He nodded once more to Zirconis before flying off. “He’s right, you know. You are a kid to me. I mean, I’m currently at 484, and still in my prime.” Zirconis smirked with a stifled laugh at the spank comment. “HA! 484?! BABY IMMORTAL THINKS HE’S SOMETHING! I TAKE IT BACK, CLUTZY; KICK HIS FLANK!” “No, I’m considered in my prime, because all Fioren Dragons except for me and Quill are dead. And Quill’s former life as Acnologia was what caused that genocide.” Zirconis said calmly. “Also, fuck you!” Zirconis yelled, holding up his middle finger. “I didn’t ask for your damn opinion!” “I’M OVER 3,000! AS AN OLD COOT, I GET TO GIVE MY OPINION WHETHER IT’S WANTED OR NOT!” Clutzy giggled. “I think I’m going to like working for him.” “Yeah, well your future boss is a right cunt.” Zirconis huffed in annoyance. Clutzy tilted his head inquisitively. “Um, I’m pretty sure he’s a stallion, actually.” Zirconis looked at Clutzy oddly. “You do realize that curses go to all genders, both masculine and feminine, even nonbinary. Right? Calling someone a cunt doesn’t mean I’m calling them a female, it’s just another way of saying they’re an asshole.” Zirconis told him. Clutzy’s inquisitiveness morphed into confusion. “You’re… calling him a… donkey hole? Like, a mouth, or…” Zirconis’ eyes widened slightly before his mouth turned into an ‘o’. “Ooooohhhhh. Your world has an entirely different set of curse words. That makes so much sense now that I think about it.” He mumbled before thinking a bit. “I’m basically calling him a horse.” Zirconis says with a raised, scaly eyebrow, waiting for a reaction of some kind. Clutzy narrowed his eyes. “Hey! There’s nothing wrong with Saddle Arabians, young colt.” Zirconis threw his draconic hands into the air with exasperation, and an annoyed sigh. “WHAT KIND OF CURSE WORDS DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND!?! SWEET ANKHSERAM!” The jade dragon yelled in annoyance. Clutzy smirked and quirked an eyebrow. “Well, I could list them off for you, but I generally try to avoid habitual profanity; don’t want my Little Muffin to hear me slip up and say something she shouldn’t hear.” “Y’know what, fuck it.” Zirconis growls, fed up with this bullshit. “I’m calling him a piece of shit, and I’m comparing him to the point in which said feces comes out of the body. Basically, I’m calling him an anus.” “Huh.” Clutzy shrugged. “Your curses are weird.” He smirked again. “And I’m kind of peeved to Tartarus at you for explaining them you yaying motherbucking piece of feathering buysomeapples.” Out in the stands, several ponies from a certain world performed simultaneous spittakes, a few of them choking on air or staring in shock at Clutzy. “Huh.” Zirconis said, a hint of being impressed in his voice. “Not many have the courage to call me what I believe you just called me.” He smiled devilishly, before saying something in a language that Clutzy couldn’t recognize. He did feel like he should be offended though. Again, back in the stands, Zeref was sitting next to Ganondorf as the two were talking and laughing before Zeref heard what Zirconis just said in that other language, literally choking on the apple he was eating, forcing the Commander to give him the heimlich maneuver. Once it was all said and done, Zeref looked at Zirconis with a look of horrifying shock. “Z, WHAT THE FUCK MAN!?” The black mage yelled in sheer shock. “Solaris’ solar-flaring orgasms,” Clutzy cried in mock horror. “Even I can tell that that was bad. Luna rape you with the moon for using such language!” “LEAVE US OUT OF THIS!” Sol shouted, his face literally burning as an equally humiliated Luna buried her face in her hooves. Everypony around them looked away awkwardly. “I’m certainly liking this tournament far more than the last one,” Ed rolls on the ground laughing. The two of them looked at one another and stared, before Zirconis opened his mouth to say something once again, only to be beaned in the back of the head with a mysterious brick. “OW! What the-?” He asked, picking up the offending brick while rubbing the back of his head. “Who the hell threw that?” He questioned, seeing that there was a note scrawled into the item, which read: PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ME, DON’T USE THAT LANGUAGE AGAIN! From Ankhseram “Huh.” Zirconis huffed in genuine shock, dumbstruck at the item. “Well, that’s something you don’t see everyday.” “Yes,” Clutzy deadpanned. “Bricks. Such rare and unique items. You’re lucky to see five in your lifetime.” “No, it’s the fact that the Great Goddess from Fiore just basically told me ‘language’.” The jade dragon blinked, setting himself back into reality. “Well there goes about a hundred different swears that would basically encompass a thousand different ways to say, fuck you and everything around you.” Zirconis sighs in disappointment. “Anyway, we should probably get back to fighting now, shouldn’t we?” Zirconis tosses the brick over his shoulder and into the void, while dispelling his previously created jade chain, causing it to vanish into a bunch of green particles. Clutzy pouted. “Poo.” He summoned Bubbly Protector again. “I was hoping to delay a little longer. Aero.” A new whirlwind whipped into being around him. “Have at thee then, I guess.” “Jade Dragon’s Claw!” Zirconis said, striking at Clutzy’s weapon, sending him sliding back several meters as sparks flashed due to the clash of materials. “Maybe try to do a bit more than blocking and dodging, mix it up a little, throw in a few counter attacks.” Zirconis suggested with a smirk. “Jade Dragon’s Jaw!” Zirconis roared, clamping his hands together like they were the mouth of some type of animal. Suddenly, the ground beneath Clutzy cracked as several jade magic circles appeared above the pegasus, before dozens of large, teeth-like jade spikes erupted from above and beneath the Keyblade wielder, closing together swiftly, and ready to bite into him. Clutzy grit his teeth and leapt into the air, swinging his keyblade in a massive arc that shattered most of the teeth above him. He kicked his hooves off of one of the remaining few, shattering it and propelling himself back to the ground. He quickly tossed his blade into the air, grabbing it in his tail and spinning rapidly, shattering the teeth on the ground before releasing the blade and sending it spinning at Zirconis’ chest. Zirconis smiled before dispelling his Dragon Claw attack, and just before it struck his chest, Zirconis snatched it out of the air. “Heh, interesting weapon you got here.” The jade dragon mused, inspecting it before tossing it to the side. “I got some of my own.” He laughed. “Jade Dragon’s Emerald Weaponry: Jade Claymore!” Zirconis shouted, summoning a large, two handed claymore, and pointing it directly at Clutzy. “I may not be the best with weapons, but I ain’t no novice.” He smiled, launching directly at Clutzy and swinging his weapon in a diagonal upward ark, aiming to cut the pegasus across the chest. Clutzy jumped and swept his hoof down, as if to bat the weapon aside. At the last moment, Bubbly Protector flashed back into his hoof. Rather than knocking the much heavier weapon away, however, Clutzy struck the blade and used it to vault over the claymore, spinning above it and delivering a two-legged buck to Zirconis’ chest, using the recoil to leap away. “Counters,” Clutzy said with a small smirk. “Right?” Zirconis grunted slightly at the impact, before reaching up and feeling where Clutzy’s hooves impacted him. “Well that’s exactly what I was looking for.” Zirconis huffed with laughter, before calming himself, as his smirk faded. “Let’s kick things up a notch, shall we?” Zirconis asked, almost rhetorically as he dispelled his weapon, letting his claw drop to his side. “Jade Dragon’s ROAR!” Zirconis bellowed, as a massive beam of jade energy and emerald shards erupted from his mouth, and barrelled straight towards Clutzy with a terrifying speed. “Eep! Reflect!” Clutzy barely got the spell off in time, and it was barely powerful enough to divert the attack. The energy dissipated, the shards ricocheting and speeding back towards Zirconis. Zirconis tilted his head to one side, before saying. “How intriguing.” He mumbled before sniffing the air, gaining a grimace on his face before growling. “But not enough has changed.” The jade dragon then launched upwards, into the air before diving straight at Clutzy, spinning around and aiming to perform an axe-kick at the pegasus. “Jade Dragon’s Talon!” He roared, as his leg was covered in jade armor, with the lower half of his leg gaining numerous spikes as he struck the pegasus. Clutzy barely managed to get his blade between himself and the attack, flinging Bubbly Protector across his back and holding it in place with his wings. He ducked his head, bracing all four legs as Zirconis struck. The ground shook, a crater forming beneath Clutzy’s hooves. The stallion gasped, spitting bile and barely managing to remain standing. He quickly slipped out from under Zirconis and leapt into the air, backing away as he shook out his aching legs. “Okay,” he grunted, a few tears in his eyes, “that one hurt.” Zirconis looked up at Clutzy with a passive face, and took in a deep breath before looking up at the pegasus. “No pain.” Zirconis began, his smile returning, as a manic expression overtook his features. “NO GAIN!” The jade dragon roared with glee as hundreds of emerald and jade shards erupted from the ground and fired off towards Clutzy. “Jade Dragon’s Emerald Gatling!” “Reflect!” Clutzy threw up another shield, deflecting the shards and flinging them back at Zirconis. The spell failed before the assault was entirely done, but Clutzy was able to knock the last few away with his keyblade. He flew backwards and higher, throwing Bubbly Protector and sending it spinning after the reflected shards at Zirconis. “Jade Dragon’s Pillar!” Zirconis roared, throwing his fist up towards the shards and Bubbly Protector as if he were throwing a punch, as the ground parallel to that fist shattered apart and a massive jade pillar rocketed towards the shards, catching them as they stabbed into the pillar’s face, as it continued towards Clutzy, losing some of its speed as it clashed against Bubbly Protector. The blade spun off before vanishing in a flash of light, reappearing in Clutzy’s hooves. He used it to vault over the pillar, landing atop it and charging down towards Zirconis. Unfortunately, he lost his balance half-way down and stumbled over a jagged edge of jade, tumbling end over end in what was quickly becoming a familiar yellow and gray whirl of mane and feathers. Zirconis’s eyes widened. “Oh shit!” He shouted, before leaping into the air ala Mario Jumpman Mario style, going over Clutzy and landing onto the jade pillar. “That was close.” He mumbled, smiling at the hilarity, as he turned around to look at his opponent. He got a faceful of keyblade as Clutzy recovered from his tumble. Clutzy hopped into the air as Zirconis went flying and stretched his legs, looking at Bubbly Protector. “You know, I think I’m getting used to this. Do you think Bubbly is helping me recover more quickly or something?” Shaking his head, Zirconis chuckled before flipping and slamming his claws into the jade beneath him, stopping himself from going any further. “Well, it is highly likely. But I can’t be sure, after all, Keyblades aren’t something that Fiore has.” Zirconis mused, a cheshire grin etched into his facial features. “I’ll have to ask Sora,” Clutzy muttered before returning Zirconis’ grin. “Anyway, let’s go!” He reared back and threw his keyblade again, flying higher into the sky as it sailed for Zirconis. Smiling wide, Zirconis held out his arm as he spread his jade green wings. “Jade Dragon’s,” He bellowed, throwing his arm up to the sky as he held it like a sword. “WING BLADE!” He yelled, as a large blade of jade and emerald sprouted from his arm and went straight into the sky. Zirconis then swung his arm straight down, nearly bisecting the pillar completely in half, causing it to crumble as he launched into the sky, intent on chasing after Clutzy, as his arm’s blade broke off and reformed into a claw attack. Cluzty frowned and poured on the speed, tossing his blade behind himself again and again. He didn’t have much hope of actually striking at this range, but he was glad to see that Zirconis had to slow down a bit each time he knocked the blade aside. Still, he was catching up. And fast. “Can’t outpace him going up,” Clutzy thought. “Let’s put my bubble-butt to good use, then. All those extra muffins are about to pay off!” Clutzy banked, flipping over backwards and diving just as Zirconis caught up. The jade dragon, caught off guard, only had barely enough time to fold his wings in and allow gravity to pull him down. Clutzy shot a quick glance behind him, glad to see that he was maintaining distance now. “Just a little more,” he muttered, squinting against the air rushing by, keyblade pointed out before him to break up the wind. He poured as much power into his wings as he could. “Just a bit further, and I can switch to ranged attacks. Come on. Come on!” So focused was he on his distance from Zirconis that he didn’t notice the mach cone forming in front of him. Until his attention was absolutely seized. An explosion of gold and silver energy expanded in all directions, filling the sky with bands of metallic color. Clutzy suddenly found himself shooting at the lava below at incredible speeds. He yelped, barely noticing that the sound was snatched away before it could reach his ears, and banked as hard as he could. Remarkably, he turned on a dime, his dive turning into a near-vertical climb. “Is this-!” Clutzy laughed in incredulous delight as he sped through the sky. “A Rainboom! I did a Sonic Rainboom!” He grinned down at Zirconis and changed direction again. Unfortunately, he was still unused to his new speed, and ended up having to correct his course several times. By the time he found himself on course with Zirconis - hooves outstretched - he was already level with him. ‘Sweet Ankhseram! I can barely track his movements! What the fucking hell just happened!?’ Zirconis thought as he desperately tried to find a way to counter this new development. That's when he saw that Clutzy was coming straight towards him. ‘Shit! I only got this one chance. Gotta make it count!’ Zirconis thought as he gathered a dense amount of jade around his claw. Desperately, Zirconis reeled back his fist and began channeling some of his Dragon Magic into the jade, causing it to turn a deep shade of green, as similarly colored markings began spiraling over his body, glowing brightly as his magical power grew. “Jade Emperor's SHATTERING FIST!” He roared, prepared to meet Clutzy's attack head on. Clutzy missed. Zirconis heard a delayed cry an instant after he’d passed. Half warcry. Half panic. He turned around just in time to see Clutzy fly right out of the arena. Zirconis was stunned. He'd expected to hit something, but he didn’t. And he had already leaned too far into the attack, so it didn't matter if he dispelled the attack or not, he'd still go flying into the ground. And flying he did go, creating a crater where he landed. He sat in the crater stunned and dazed, but most of all he was confused and quite a bit pissed. “What-? I-I don't-?” The jade dragon stuttered. “What just-? What the-?” He asked, dazed and hella confused. Zirconis then did the only thing he could; he yelled. “What the fuck!?” In the stands where the defeated contestants sat, a certain group of ponies had drawn everyone’s attention. Specifically, a large-flanked stallion who had suddenly slammed into his ruling diarchs at supersonic speed. Sol and Luna groaned from within the small crater as a dizzy Clutzy stumbled out and plopped his flank down on a bench, eyes spinning in opposite directions. “I just don’t know what went wrong.”