Late one Saturday night, after putting it off for far too long, Ari sat down to face the truth.
There was a video of one of the SSP’s champions, a pegasus named Ragnarök, debating a Lunist of similar caliber on whether or not the use of ETS should be legal. Spring Breeze assured Ari that Ragnarök won this debate hooves down.
Ragnarök was a brown, leaning ever so slightly red, pegasus with a white, untamed mane. Looking at this pony, it struck one that he got very little sleep. Ari didn’t think she’d ever seen bags under a pony’s eyes until Ragnarök took off his broken flight goggles to reveal his slightly sunken countenance. And he was slim in a way ponies normally weren’t.
Judging by how many videos he had out after such a short time, Ari could guess why…
He sat in a dark basement filled with computers. Another pony, a unicorn, sat far in the background typing away with magic but paying no attention to the stream.
“One thing I think is obvious to all of us is that the government doesn’t want any of us to be ponies. Not you, not me, not one goddam person. That’s obvious to anypony who spoke to a rehumanizer and tried to say no. It’s obvious to any human dying of cancer or who simply wants to be a pony for their own reasons, only to have the choice withheld.”
Talking to a rehumanizer was something Ari was dreading more each day. Ragnarök already had her on the first point.
“The only question… is why? Why do they care if I stay this way? Why don’t they want you to have a choice?
“Is it because they’re concerned that we’re all brainwashed? Hardly! They’d do that to us themselves if the revised vision is any indication. Are they really worried about some space monster looming in the distance? They pressed their heels in as hard as possible for the much closer catastrophe of global warming so that seems unlikely. Is it because transformation magic is just too darn dangerous? Maybe if we didn’t have enough nukes to destroy the planet, I’d buy that.
“No. They don’t give a shit about any of those things. And frankly, they don’t give a shit about you or me either. The reason they don’t want you to be a pony? The reason they don’t like ponies? It’s because ponies… are bad… for landlords and billionaires. That’s it. That is the only reason.”
Dammit. He was probably right. The government never seemed to care about any of those things in the past.
“Think about it. Ponies have a herd instinct. No one denies that. If a human tells you we don’t, ask them what makes them think we’re brainwashed, and they’ll change their minds. That gives ponies the thing that the capitalist class hates more than anything else… community. Collective bargaining power. They hate ponies for the same reason they hate unions. They’re trying to break us and our communities apart for the same reason they’ve stripped American society down into atomized individuals. Helpless. Alone. Weak.
“And let’s ask ourselves one more question while we’re at it. Why can’t you have a choice? I got a choice of whether I could be a human or a pony. Ironically thanks to Sunset Shimmer. But why do they give me a choice but not to you partials and humans? Yet I, the supposed pony supremacist, have never called for rehumanization to be outlawed.”
Ari leaned in. This was the part she most wanted to hear.
“It’s because 97% of ponies… want to stay this way. You know what that means? It means if you or your neighbor or the girl at the cash register got to try being a pony, there’d be a 97% chance they wouldn’t want to go back.
“Hell, let’s even say that’s a massive overestimate and it’s only 80%. That’s still a nightmare scenario for the powers that be, who entrenched themselves in the exploitation of humans and human psychology. They don’t want you to have a choice… because they know what choice you’d make in the end and it isn’t the one that’s convenient for them.”
Ari leaned back in her office chair.
Was that… really it? They didn’t want her to have a choice because she’d make the ‘wrong’ one? That was… the one that would generate less capital for them. Pony communes weren’t exactly lucrative for the corporations. Ragnarök had another point there.
They thought they were denying her this just so they could exploit her…
“But hey, I’m a filthy Shimmerist so what do I know, right? Well we have a pure and noble Lunist here… Moonshine! No alcohol cutie mark. Poor sob is still unmarked but hopefully, he gets one in debating tonight because he’ll need it. Moonshine, tell me why I’m wrong. Why do they not want us to have a choice?”
Moonshine had to be the most Lunist pony ever. The stallion’s colors were damn near identical to Luna’s. He was a good deal older than Ragnarök too. Ari was getting good at telling the ages of ponies and Moonshine was maybe… fifty?
Ari knew a little about the dark blue unicorn. He’d been a theologian… maybe still was just of a new religion.
“Thank you.” Moonshine bowed his head. “First let me say I hardly think you or the vast majority of Shimmerists are ‘filthy’ or sinners or anything like that. I understand and share much of your frustration with the government. I too want serious reform, a more social and fair society. Our visions aren’t that different.”
“But they are different,” Ragnarök added.
“Yes. I don’t want to do this in a way that will disenfranchise the humans they way they so often do to us, as you are quick and right to call out on your show. However, if it is unjust for them to force their way of life on us then surely you can admit the same is true in reverse?”
“We live in a democracy.” Ragnarök said flatly. “People vote on things. They can vote to change things. I don’t see how the SSP doing the exact same thing that every other political party does is somehow crossing a line. Is it because we’re ponies now? It was okay for me to have these opinions before but now it’s suddenly not okay for me to think these things or want these reforms because that’s ‘crossing the line’?”
“I’m not saying it’s wrong for you to have your political party,” said Moonshine. “The problem here is… you’re simply too intense and caustic and your priorities are backward. I think you’re surrounded by only ponies, by only hardcore Shimmerists at that, and you forget that most people in this nation are still humans, and most humans need to be convinced that we are here to help them. Pushing for ETS at the forefront, something that frightens them, wrongly or not, is not going to help anypony. Shimmerism is simply going to make them more afraid.”
“Oh? You think Shimmerism doesn’t appeal to humans? But what? Lunism does?” Ragnarök licked his lips, his smile grew razor-sharp.
Moonshine grew quiet. Are knew he’d walked into a trap but wasn’t sure what it was.
“Okay! Then where are all the human Lunists? Can you name one?” Ragnarök asked.
After a moment of hesitation.
“Yes. Bronze-“
“No! I’m not talking about Bronze. I’m not talking about ponies who were basically forced to rehumanize and hate themselves. I mean someone who’s been a human the whole time and sees any appeal in your philosophy.”
“Well. Not yet. Not off the top of my head, but – ”
“Because there are none!” Ragnarök slammed both forehooves onto his desk and leaned in real close to his camera. “Zero! But guess what? I have 200,000 human fans who signed up to listen to this show. Half of my subscribers are humans, I see the metrics, and most of them would call themselves Shimmerists if they had the guts. Do you have any idea how many calls and messages I get from humans, bawling their eyes out about how badly they want to be ponies? How they wish Sunset Shimmer won so they wouldn’t be living on the street, so their kids wouldn’t be dying of cancer, so they wouldn’t be stuck having their soul ground away at some corporate job?!
“Shimmerism is infinitely more popular among humans than your shit philosophy. You wanna know why? It’s because humans don’t want your endless patronage. They don’t want a world where those with magic work with the corporations to secure an even bigger advantage but ‘oh it’s okay’ because they can pathetically rely on your charity.
“No one wants that.” Ragnarök continued, pulling back a little. “What they want is to be equals. What they want is to get off their knees! They want what we got! Even if some of us think we’re superior to them, we offer them a chance to be equal… and neither you nor the people on the top of this system do. Millions of humans are just as fed up with the system as I am and guess what? The Shimmerists are the only ones willing to help them in that fight, to give them what they actually want! And what do you offer them?”
Moonshine hesitated too much in his answer and Ari understood already why somepony might think he lost the debate.
It gave Ari time to ask herself the question. What did the Lunists offer that the Shimmerists didn’t? After Ragnarök’s spiel, it all but felt like they simply wanted to keep all the magic and communal living for themselves.
So what was there? Acceptance? To Ari that meant accepting her desire to become a pony and they didn’t do that.
To help them benefit from magic? Perhaps they had that much at least. But it wasn’t like the Shimmerists would deny Ari their free food. Hell, as Ragnarök said, the Shimmerists were the only ones who would give Ari her own magic instead of just telling her to accept she couldn’t have any.
“Humans are already equal to ponies,” Moonshine finally answered, though not really the question. “They – ”
“Let them decide if they’re equal,” Ragnarök cut him off.
“They,” Moonshine continued, undeterred. “Even if there are a few hundred thousand or even a few million human Shimmerists, the fact is that the vast majority of humans do not want to be ponies presently. Even before becoming a pony, I agreed that the world needed to change. But they don’t need to become ponies…”
Ragnarök rolled his eyes, his entire head really as Moonshine delivered what had become a meme line in Shimmerist places. He mimed the ‘just stop being poor’ response with his mouth.
“And even if you don’t think that’s true,” Moonshine powered forward. “It’s what most of them think. And if you
“Okay, okay. So you have boundless confidence in the humans, but you think they’ll genocide us at the drop of a hat.”
“I didn’t say…”
“I want to address this real quick. There’s no genocide happening, okay fellow ponies? Half the humans are so depressed and broken right now they can’t reheat a pizza. The other half is with me in wanting to burn down Washington DC. The government is broke, has a 13% approval rating, can’t even feed themselves without us… and you think Sleepy Joe of all people is going to rally that to commit a genocide 15 times bigger than the Holocaust. Really, ponies?”
“I agree,” said Moonshine carefully. “But the 2024 election-“
“I’m working on that one!” Ragnarök jabbed a hoof toward his camera. “But hey, you never answered the question I brought you here for! Why don’t they want to give my many, many human fans a choice, huh?”
“I’ll tell you why I’m against it, at least,” said Moonshine. “Because as you said it is dangerous. And I hope you’re not going to dismiss my concerns because I’m certainly not stockpiling nuclear weapons.”
“I’ll give you that much, sure.”
“Right. First of all, we don’t know all the effects of ETS or mass or repeated transformations. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to at least wait a little longer to understand what we’re dealing with first. Second, even if you are above it and I believe you are, many of your Shimmerist friends, if ETS were in mainstream use, would stop at nothing to forcibly transform as many people as possible. If you’re so pro-choice-“
Ragnarök held up a hoof. “Okay. Okay. Hold up. First off, can we not pretend like ETS is still a big deal? I’ll tell you what happens if you start transforming from some leak, okay? You mutter in your living room that you’d rather not be a pony. Alexa will pick up on it because that’s legal now under the Secure America Act, but whatever. They send 10,000 CIA agents to your house to escort you to a rehumanization center and you’re done.”
“We don’t know if you can just repeatedly undergo these sorts of things,” Moonshine shot back.
“And as for them being afraid? Of what? Forced transformation?” Ragnarök asked. “The SSP is the only organization that wants to pass a morphological bill of rights. So what? They think my evil plan to force transform all humans is to make the thing I’m trying to do illegal.”
“Yes, yes.” Moonshine rubbed a temple. “I’ve read your ‘morphological bill of rights’. If we’re being honest, half of it is simply ‘legalize ETS’ and various reforms that would make life harder for the rehumanizers. Most of whom are not the monsters you make them out to be, might I add?”
“Oh, oh. So you disagree with the bill?” Ragnarök tilted his head. “I got the whole thing memorized. Tell me which part of this is unreasonable, that a human would have an ‘irrational reaction to’. Okay? The first of the twelve points is that the government cannot have a ‘preferred’ form that they promote or coerce anypony into taking. How is that wrong.”
“It’s clearly meant for rehumanization…”
“Yeah, it’d apply to them. But should the government have the power to coerce you into taking a form? Should there be state-approved forms? If you need help, imagine it’s me in charge of making ponies the form the government is promoting.”
“I can’t say that shouldn’t be the law, no.”
“Great! Point two…”
This was the part of the debate where Ragnarök ‘won’. Maybe some Lunist could walk away from the first half thinking their guy held his ground but this? This was just painful.
Ragnarök dragged Moonshine point by point through the seven points of the morphological bill of rights. Every single time, it was an increasingly embarrassing repeat of the first time. In the end, the Lunist just couldn’t bring himself to disagree with a single one of the proposals.
He couldn’t say sit was wrong to ban the government from forcing a certain form on you. He couldn’t say that people should be discriminated against based on their transformation status. He couldn’t say the stat shouldn’t recognize someone’s decision to transform and change their name.
He could argue that the right to transform should be regulated, but not that it should be banned outright. That last one was the only time during that brutal exchange he held his ground.
And after talking so boldly about how terrible this bill of rights was too! Ari looked up Moonshine again to make sure he wasn’t just some idiot Ragnarök dragged off the streets to make himself look better. But it turned out his opponent really was a prominent Lunist who’d been through several prior debates.
More important than any of that… Ari couldn’t bring herself to disagree with him on any of those points, either!
To hell with what everyone thought was part of the ‘natural order’. People should have the right to transform and the government should not have the right to push any kind of transformation on you.
So why the hell did everyone think it should be the other way around?!
“I think… I like this pony,” said Ari.
She started queuing up his other videos. She wanted to make sure this wasn’t just the one video she’d like. And she wanted to listen to him more…
Ari ended up watching Ragnarök videos for the next 5 hours straight…
And that led her into some other Shimmerist content creators…
Before she knew it, it was midnight.