THE THINGS I SHOULD HAVE SAID
“-more than welcome to stay as long as you like! Here at Our Town, we’re all happy to help anypony who’s lost their way, literally or figuratively!”
I can’t remember her name.
Everypony around me has the same cutie mark- the exact same equals sign cutie mark- they all have smiles on their faces and they wave with an outward jubilance, but I know a fake smile when I see it. Dear drilled all the tells into me while we were on our stakeouts.
Then there’s the matter of this mare’s attitude. Maybe not her attitude, but… Well, she’s really buckin’ weirding me out. Reminds me of a cult leader honestly, she’s a cult leader offering to feed and house me for the night.
My wings keep trying to unfurl so I can fly away as quick as possible, but I remind them I’m not going anywhere fast without at least a rushed preening and washing. Doubly so with Lunar guards likely sweeping this half of equestria for me.
I follow along behind her as we walk up the street towards the only home that doesn’t look like it was duplicated from a green hoof contractor’s copy-paste sketchbook. As we walk she starts rattling off the names and responsibilities of most ponies and their respective establishments as we pass them, and she really pushes the ‘equally helpful’ bit.
“Everypony in Our Town contributes, and everypony shares in the fruits of our labor!” She chimes, swaying her head to some unheard rhythm and waving at who I assume is a baker. She waves back and begins setting some charred muffins on a windowsill. Bleugh.
“Sounds nice, where I’m from most ponies just kinda do their own thing and tell you to get bent.” I force a half-hearted chuckle. She keeps walking, but looks back over her shoulder with a knowing look. After a second she nods and it takes on more of a pitiful tone.
“Most of us understand that too, it’s one of the biggest reasons why nopony who’s ever come to Our Town has ever wanted to leave!”
Red flag. BIG red flag. I feel my heart betraying the unfeeling mask I’m wearing, but I force it back down in my chest. I’m sure that’s just salespony hyperbole, and even if it isn’t, I can just slip out the back a couple hours before sunrise and they’ll be none the wiser.
“Really? Must be some helluva place then.” I muse to keep the conversation flowing, though I notice her wince a bit at my curses. “Sorry, got that from the city too.”
“I understand. Habits make roots and burrow themselves deep, don’t they?” She asks, turning forward again while we walk. Normally I’d come up alongside her, but I think I’d rather be able to keep an eye out from behind right now, so I stay a few paces back.
“Yep, sure do.” I agree, trying to sound casual. We continue through the streets of Our Town until we reach what I assume is her house.
“I’ll make the guest room for you, and again you’re free to stay as long as you like. I’ll have somepony bring you lunch as soon as it’s prepared, I’m sure you must be starving! Where did you say you came in from again, Ms…?” She prompts, expertly weaving in a double-hitter.
It would be extremely rude to refuse to elaborate without a good reason, and I didn’t think of an alias before I came here. Stupid! How could I trot into a-
“That’s alright, I don’t need to know. Where you came from, who you are, none of that matters while you’re here.” She reassures me after I fail to answer in only a few seconds. It’s a quickly formulated response, and I’d bet she’s had plenty of interactions just like this.
“…Thanks. It’s a bit complicated.” I lie. She smiles with that same knowing look, then nods and leads me inside.
The walls are smooth with well-packed stonework, and there’s a large square rug set in the center of the living space. An empty fireplace sits in the corner with three hunks of wood ready to ignite inside, and there’s a couple seats and side tables along the walls, with a two-pony couch perfectly centered beneath a framed painting of their ( = ) cutie mark. The whole place is spotless, clean to the point of compulsive perfection.
“That’s you right there, I have a little speech planned for the afternoon so I’ve got to get to it. I’ll be around if you need anything, but Double Diamond is just out front and to the right if you can’t find me.” She opens one of the doors with a minty cyan aura, then in a quick flash I see the fireplace ignite into a roaring orange flame. More subtly I see some things in the room rearranging themselves. Telekenisis without line of sight on multiple objects, incredibly impressive for a backwater mayor unicorn. She gives me a subtle nod before turning tail and trotting back outside before I can respond.
“…thanks.” I mutter, though she’s ten paces gone before the words dissolve into the quiet home.
I’ve never been huge on being in somepony else’s house alone, but given the situation I can't afford to be picky. I take a seat next to the fire, letting the heat seep into my worn and sore legs. My stomach growls and reminds me that I haven’t eaten anything but a scoop of apple mush and stale hay since breakfast yesterday morning.
The heat from the flames also reminds me of the dirt and mud that’s caked into my coat, and now that I’m not flying or full-tilt galloping from a small swarm of lunar sentries I’m starting to remember how uncomfortable and tired I am.
Once I’m warmed up and confident my legs can handle another stretch of walking, I get up and trudge over to the spare room that’s waiting for me. There’s a single-wide made bed sitting atop a wooden frame covered in a white blanket. A simple table and chair sit beside it, and at the foot of the bed lays a folded towel and a dull, unassuming brown cloak. I let myself smile a bit at the thoughtfulness of the gesture, and I grab the towel in my teeth, resolving to find the bathroom.
A closet and a second bedroom of wandering later I find it, and I spend the next ten minutes letting the lukewarm water soften and pull away at all the grime I’ve accumulated over the last week. It’s not as quick as diving into a stormcloud headfirst, but it’s thorough enough.
’How do they get warm water, and where does the plumbing infrastructure originate for an eleven-home community?’ I idly wonder. Commonly tall water towers collect rainwater and use gravity to force-feed it down using water pressure via a closed system of-
I shake my head, letting the water run down my neck and upper back. Old habits, huh…?
- - - -
“-been? We haven’t seen you in what, three months? How’s Ponyville been for our little heroes?”
“Oh, y’know, it’s alright. Twilight’s been busy with her research on old Crystal magic the last few months, so I’ve been helping Rarity harvest gems. She even started paying me for it, something about federal man-something.” Dad raises an eyebrow at that, but I just shrug back.
It’s been months since we’ve all seen each other, so I’m up early like old times for family breakfast. Twilight was gone when I woke up, and neither of them have seen her, so she must’ve snuck out last night and not come back yet. Her old bit pouch was gone from her desk and a fresh inkwell’s out without a covering, so I guess it’s fair to assume she’s safe. Maybe she went back to talk to the Princess, or maybe she’s in the Canterlot archive. Who knows.
“Would have been nice if she at least left a note.” I remark idly, poking at the sapphire pancakes with my fork. They’re delicious, but I don’t have much of an appetite right now.
“Oh, honey, you know how she gets. Once she’s got an idea it’s shoop!” Mom draws her hoof from her forehead out into the air in a quick, zipping motion. “Off to the races.”
“I know, it’s just… You know, sometimes I just wish she-“
There’s a heavy Blmp! outside as something heavy impacts the road, followed by a metallic clinking of horseshoes on stone. We all turn toward the front of the house just as the door begins to glow a familiar shade of purple, and Twilight gallops into the living room with a few thick books wrapped in her magic. She looks happy, really happy actually. She must’ve gone and talked to the Princess after all.
“Gooood morning~!” She chimes, trotting past us and up the stairs, bobbing her head to some invisible rhythm with a wide grin. A few seconds later there’s the unmistakable thuds of books hitting tables, and the scrape of her chair being pulled back to sit in.
Mom and dad both share a glance between themselves.
“She seems… Excited today. Did she go somewhere?” Dad asks absent-mindedly.
I hop off my own chair and jaunt over to the front window, pulling back a curtain and looking towards the castle. Sure enough, there’s a jet-white Alicorn mid-air and charging her horn for a fraction of a second before she blinks out of existence with a quick pop-crack!
“Yep, that was her.” I confirm to myself out loud, returning to the table. They both nod silently, understanding what I mean without needing context. I take another bite of the sapphire pancakes, resolved to not let them go to waste.
We all sit in relative silence for a few more minutes, listening as Twilight runs around her room and occasionally shouts some incoherent strings of words. Every second that passes I get more impatient, and by the time my plate’s clear I realize my foot’s been rapping against the legs of my chair.
“Go on, honey. You know how she is, if something’s wrong you’ve got to tell her.” Mom pipes up from across the table.
I bite at the inside of my lip while staring intently at the wall separating the kitchen and the staircase. I need to go today, and if I don’t really hash this out, it’s gonna be rough for both of us.
“You’re right. It’s the guard thing, she said- she promised we’d talk about it! Then she sneaks off and when she comes back she just-“ My tangent’s cut off by an uncut chunk of glazed opal stuck into my mouth by a violet glow.
“I understand, honey, but you need to tell her that.” Mom says softly, patting my shoulder reassuringly. The warmth of her hoof makes me feel better despite everything.
My eyes dart nervously to the ceiling, and then back to the staircase. I look back to mom and dad; They both give me reassuring nods, and mom nudges me forward. I follow her suggestion and jump down onto the floor, taking in a deep breath and turning to head upstairs.
- - - -
’-residue due to the intense heat caused by the chemical reaction… So that’s how they powered their rainbow factories! Which means Cloudsdale is actually progressing energy technology faster than expected, they might only be a few decades away from-’
“Hey, Twilight?”
I snap my head up from the desk, looking over my shoulder at the source of whoever’s invoking my attention span away from the priceless paragraphs. It’s Spike. That’s great, that’s perfect! He can help me organize notes for the dissertation I’m already planning out in my head.
“Oh, Spike, great timing! I’m on section 2C, do you want to grab the—“
“I actually was hoping we could talk. You know, like you promised.” Spike interrupts me with a reserved look, and it rips me out of my hyper-focused headspace as I remember our brief exchange in Celestia’s casting chamber. I take a shallow breath in and out, mentally resetting for the conversation I've been concerned about for the last 24 hours.
“Yeah, I’m sorry, I got distracted by- Oh! The Princess and I were up last night discussing old world technology," I start, picking up the book on reactor maintenance and floating it over to him. He gives it a cursory look-over in his claws, but ultimately sets it down on the floor.
"That's... Well it's a good start I guess, but I still don't think getting involved any more is a good idea." He says flatly, crossing his arms. I sigh deeply before responding.
“I know, Spike. And… I know it might feel like I've been ignoring your input-"
"You have been." He interrupts again. I understand the temper, but being interrupted is a massive pet peeve and he knows it. I chew on my tongue impatiently and we sit in silence for a few seconds. I give him a look to ask 'are you done?' When he doesn't offer any further rebuttal, I continue.
"I know it might feel that way, but this is big. Fate-of-Equestria big! If we don’t-“ I pause, rethinking the best way to verbalize it. “If somepony doesn’t stop Star Swirl, he has a way to keep trying to overthrow the Princesses until he succeeds. This is what I’m good at, Spike. I can beat him at his own game! I just need to find the last piece so I can cast the spell myself.” I say firmly, holding eye contact with him. After a moment Spike looks away, eyes staring off into space.
"And what if you fail? What then?" He asks defiantly, boring a hole in the wall with his gaze. I trot over and interject myself between the glare and the uncaring wall, sitting in front of him and cupping his cheeks in my hooves.
“That’s the neat part. If I don’t get it right, I can just try again, just like him. At least if the spell functions like I think it does. I won’t let him win. I don’t know exactly how I’m going to do it yet, but I’m going to stop him.” I tell him earnestly. Spike shakes his head.
“What if there was another way?" His voice is low now, almost pleading.
"There isn't," I answer simply. “If there was, I’m sure the Princesses would have done it by now. Star Swirl wants Princess Celestia dead. He wants to kill somepony else, Spike. Like he almost-“ I pause and swallow the foreign concept down, remembering that there was no ‘almost.’ “…Like he did with Goldfish, and probably a lot of others.” The words taste sour in my mouth even though they're true. It's not fair, or right; certainly not something anypony should ever need to worry could happen to them. But that’s something I could prevent, and I need him to understand that.
He’s lost in thought again. I see the gears turning over in his mind, weighing things against themselves like I do whenever a problem presents itself. Finally he speaks up.
“But why does Star Swirl want Celestia dead? Nopony just decides to go full psycho-pony for no reason. And I don’t like the way she handles her future-whatever either, but I wouldn’t hurt anypony over it.” Spike says slowly. My ears perk slightly and I feel a slight smile sneak onto my face. Even if it’s for the sake of argument, he’s even taking the time to consider Star Swirl’s side of things. Something I failed to do when it mattered most. The irony’s not lost on me.
“A lot happened at the end of the Everfree Empire’s life, I’d imagine a large part of it was Princess Luna and Nightmare Moon, but the only way to really know for sure is to talk to him again.”
Spike jolts back a step, taking my hooves in his claws and giving me a bewildered look. I figured he’d react negatively; I clamp my mouth shut and prepare for the earful he’s going to argue. After he calms down I can explain the half-baked idea I have.
“…After you figure out your spell. Then you won’t really be in any danger, because you... And if he doesn’t know that you’re… Then he can’t…” Spike’s grip goes slack, and his scaly brows cross over themselves intensely as his mind races at the implications.
I lift my head from the subconscious brace I hadn’t realized I was in, staring at him with wide eyes while he stares at the ground. Especially given how foreign all of this theoretical temporal manipulation is, he’s blazingly quick on the uptake to have reached the same conclusion in only a few seconds.
“Do you really think you can-“ He comes back to reality and looks back up, meeting my gaze, before going quiet again for a few seconds. “…Yeah. Yeah, of course you can.” His voice sounds more assured despite the uncertainty. It gives me a warm feeling of pride to hear what I can only hope is confidence, but it’s quelled by a cold sting in my heart.
“It’s going to take a while. Weeks, probably. Maybe months, and I’m going to need to convince Goldfish to help, but I’m a hundred percent certain it’ll work if we can get everypony to cooperate.” My words sound less confident than they feel inside. There‘s still too much unknown, not even knowing where or when to start. The one thing I do know, though, is that Spike’s faith in me is returning. “…Which is why I think you trying to better yourself is a great opportunity, too.”
Spike’s arms go fully slack around mine, and his mouth opens the slightest bit while he processes what I just said. For a moment he seems to be considering what to say, but I wait patiently for him. Once again, I don’t have to wait long.
“You mean you’re okay with it, then? I mean, don’t get me wrong I appreciate you coming around, but… I dunno, you just really seemed like you were gonna fight me on this one. I thought…” He stops and lowers his head a bit, kicking idly at the ground. “I thought I was gonna have to go through training knowing you were mad at me.”
“I’m not happy about it.” I admit without hesitation. If anything, I want him here with me to help me with my research, with the side-benefit that I can make sure nopony affiliated with Star Swirl gets their hooves on him. “But as much as I hate to admit it, being surrounded by a detachment of Lunar trainees and guards is probably one of the safest places you can be right now. If the castle wasn’t as warded as it is, I would probably ask one of the Princesses to help me develop a pocket dimension for us to plan in.”
“Pocket whoda-what now?” He asks curiously. I shrug slightly and shake my head.
“Doesn’t matter. The point is I’m not mad at you, and I should have made that clear to begin with. I’m upset at the circumstances, but I shouldn’t have let that affect how I treat you.”
I scoot forward a bit and press my hooves behind his shoulders, closing my eyes and pulling him in for a big, sappy, apologetic hug. Thankfully, he seems happy to return the gesture without complaint. I would have expected a bit of a chewing out in retaliation for being a bit of a jerk about the whole guard thing, but forgiving and forgetting is a mercy I’m more than happy to accept right now.
“You think I could finally beat Shining after all this?” He suddenly asks after a few seconds. I snort a laugh before I can stop myself. Not because it’s a thoughtless question, but the sheer inopportune timing. I pull away and give him an amused look.
“Well, uh... Murphy's law suggests it should be possible?" I smirk. He wiggles an arm free and punches my shoulder less-than-gently, huffing a stifled laugh and shaking his head. I chuckle with him, and use my now-free hoof to ruffle the ridges on top of his head dotingly.
- -
I pull a hoof back, and let it fly into the muzzle of the orange pegasus on the left less-than-gently. The momentum throws him back faster than he can react with his wings, and he topples backwards. I capitalize on the now-free space he used to occupy to rush forward into a melee with the unicorn behind him, trampling the pegasus for good measure to be sure he stays down.
Unicorns are the real threat in a fight. Pegasi can move, Earth Ponies can crush your skull, but Unicorns can move you and crush your skull, and they can do it from a hundred feet out. Now that the meat’s dealt with, I need to neutralize that horn before it eviscerates me.
“Wh- Purselace!” The unicorn colt shouts out to his partner as he hits the ground, lowering his head to point his horn towards me while it begins to glow with the same bright pink as his coat.
Thankfully, a stupid unicorn is much less threatening in a fight. He tries to mutter some incantation as I plow forward, but one backhoof to his charging and sensitive horn sends him reeling on the ground, grasping as his forehead. He’s lucky I didn’t break it, would’ve been well within my right.
“Manehattan, it’s good to be back.” I smile to myself, watching the two chumps writhe on the ground of the otherwise unoccupied alleyway. I used to sling here, back in the darker days I’d rather forget.
I stroll over to the unicorn, pressing a hoof on his shoulder to keep him from rolling around too much while I lean forward and snag the pouches attached to his neck in my teeth, yanking them free and adding them to my own bags. Never know when you might need a component pouch.
“Sorry fellas, wrong pony to try and hold up. Send Cards my regards, won’t you?” I say sarcastically, walking past them. As much as I’d love to tell the wannabe gangster his Dear Friend is back in town, I can’t afford to blow my cover with this identity so soon.
As soon as I’m out of spitting range they struggle to stand and flee. They stumble off down another street without even bothering to look back. That's just fine, nopony knows this face, or this cutie mark. Fixer does good work, even my old runners wouldn’t recognize me. My coat’s the same tan color, but my cutie mark’s been swapped for a lit candle with a rolled parchment beside it. Ambiguous enough to lie about, but sophisticated enough nopony would bat an eye at seeing me strolling through a ballroom.
My face is the weird part; I know it’s only temporary, but the feeling of my nose widening and my chin coming to more of a point is throwing me off whenever I talk, or even breathe. It’s gonna take a couple days to adjust.
My SMILE contact is a confectionary, she runs a candy store out of ponyville remotely, and sources her materials from a sugar mill at the edge of the city. It’s the first of the month, and like clockwork I see her doing business with Mr. Mills as I find my way there.
Business must be good, because she has an entire wagon stacked with piles of the stuff at her side. I also spot a substantial amount of bits on a table between them, with a few small piles being pushed and pulled back and forth in a classic display of haggling.
“-hundred and twenty bits is market rate. I’m buying twice your average bulk order; if I walked away you wouldn’t be able to sell it all even if you slashed the price.” The beige-coated earth pony mare rattles off, dragging a small pile of bits back towards her with a cocky grin.
“And ah’m tellin’ you it’s ‘unna be five flat if ya’ want the lot! Six’n off’s a might generous enough- iff’n you’re wantin’ cheap, floured-up supply, by all means now go a-knockin’ on Kellog’s door! Y’er customers’ll drop dead a’ moment they swallow, promise ya’ that.” He reaches across the table and past her hoof, scooping the pile back towards his side of the table, besides the large sack full of even more gleaming gold coins also on his side.
I slow my gallop to a trot, then a brisk canter as I approach, waiting patiently for them to seal their deal. My contact is the buyer, and she’s about to bag herself the whole pot if she pushes the offensive here.
“You’re a smart pony, Mr. Mills, you know you can’t sustain your operation without my contribution. I’m the largest non-baked-goods sweets manufacturer in the city, third in equestria. Now, I’m being more than fair at four hundred twenty. Market rate is as high as it is because I buy the bulk. Without Sweetie Drops enterprises, it’d crash to three-five by quarter’s end and you know it, other sellers notwithstanding.” She reaches back across once again and scoops up the excess pile back from the grumbling farmpony, decisively piling them up and depositing them into a much smaller personal bit pouch affixed to a set of tailored vest-pouches on her chest.
It takes a few hoof-fulls, but it gives the other party time to vent his frustration before grabbing the sizable bag of bits still in front of him and stomping off into his home, slamming the door behind him. I take the initiative and approach the mare from the side, giving a big smile and a happy wave as I do.
“Never seen a pony so upset about making four hundred before. Business been that good, huh? Not that I’m surprised, you’ve got a killer profit margin.” The mare turns around slowly, looking over me curiously. Her face has aged some since our last meeting, though she still has that sharp edge in her eyes. She’s pretty, but the pretty ones are usually the most dangerous around here.
“…Yeah, business has treated me well. Sorry, but do I know you?” She deadpans. Always to the point with her. No pleasantries unless you’re a customer, then she’s all smiles.
“Aww man, and here I thought my dashing good looks and sparkling personality were unforgettable. Callsign Two-face, agent Bon-Bon.” My flamboyant introduction drops away entirely as I reintroduce myself in an official capacity, as her informant. Her deadpan stare turns into a hard glare as she stares intently at me, searching me up and down for something nopony could hope to ever find from me; A tell.
“Dunno what you’re talkin-“
”Dinner’s postponed to the 14th at the earliest, a guildmate of Star Swirl’s was detained by Princess Luna before being killed in the Everfree. Twilight Sparkle refused to collaborate, and unrelated you’re going to have a train arriving from Las Pegasus in no more than two days with a fireworks delivery- Intercept that. You’ll thank me when you do.” I put the plastic smile back on my face. It feels ill-fitted, like it’s sitting on a layer of shifting and malformed flesh. It’s not my smile. But then again, that’s the point.
“Huh. Never thought your codename would be so… Literal.” She finally relents, giving me one last look-over. She pulls out a notepad and records what I assume will be everything I just said to bring back to SMILE HQ, which in turn will be relayed directly to Celestia within the day.
“Looks can be deceiving, and I need to do a lot of deceiving.” I shrug, circling over to her other side and glancing over the cart idly. It’s a lot of sugar packed into thick sacks of hemp and flax, with a sleeping bag and some travel rations tucked into the front corner.
“Yeah, we all remember the stunt you pulled last year. Deceived the wrong side, jackass.” She mutters, lifting the bit pouch off her neck and tossing it in the cart with her other personal affects. We move to the front and she goes to duck beneath the harness. I lay a hoof on her back and tap twice to get her attention, nodding for her to move aside.
“We caught the guy, that’s the part that matters. If I hadn’t fibbed a little, he’d still be bagging fillies and shipping them across the border. So what if a few of his kingpins wound up missing? Lesser evils.” I walk to the other side of the harness and duck down myself, poking my head and upper half through. It’s fit for a mare, but I’m able to squeeze in.
“You killed three potential informants and burned an entire warehouse of contraband to the ground.” She deadpans again with a scoff, watching with a raised eyebrow as I finesse the harness.
“True though that may be- ah! oof- gotta admit I get results! And the methods don’t matter as long as you get her there, right bonnie?” I give her another, more suggestive grin, but she’s not biting this time. I let the harness dangle so I can look at her more directly. “What, you’re not still mad about the dress, are you? Hey, I’m sorry, that was my bad. I found an amazing boutique on my last stakeout, I’ll introduce you to the seamstress and-“
“I got a marefriend, Friend.” She interrupts me, closing her eyes and sucking in a huge breath through her nose, holding it for a few seconds before huffing it out in one quick burst. “In Ponyville. Not saying any more than that, I’m sure you know why.”
I blink while that registers in my head. It clicks immediately what she’s saying, but the thought of Sweetie Drops of all ponies getting a special somepony is one of the most unreal, unbelievable, fantastical improbablities I’ve ever heard. And a marefriend at that!
“Wow. I mean, I’ve had some ponies tell me I swayed them before, first time a mare hated my guts so much she went to play for the other team though.” I say flatly, but there’s a smile behind it. A more genuine one this time, though I’m sure it’s hard for her to tell. “No but really, congrats. Surprised you finally found a Clyde that can keep up with you! When did she join, what department?”
She bites her lips from the inside, taking another deep breath and closing her eyes again. Not a good sign.
“She’s a civilian.” I guess with a much more cautionary tone. She nods, but the anxious look doesn’t fade. “…She doesn’t know.” I continue. She nods again. “…And you’re not going to tell her.” I finish. A third nod, and she physically braces as if preparing for a scolding. She’s right to expect it, it’s stupid to keep work like this a secret from a partner, and even more stupid to think she’s capable of pulling it off. But she knows that, and despite the on-and-off flings we’ve had off the record, she doesn’t owe me an explanation any more than I have the right to lecture her.
“How are you gonna keep this from HQ?” I ask instead, reassuring her that despite the absurdity of her game plan, I’m not going to disparage her for it.
“I’m going to quit.” She shrugs. “I’ve got my business now, and I have a full life waiting for me in Ponyville if I want it. It’s a reason to get out if the city like I’ve always wanted, permanently.”
I feel my jaw go slack as she talks about a better life, pursuing her dreams and making the most of her success as if it’s the easiest decision she’s ever made.
“But you’re one of the best, you’ve always loved the work you do as an agent!” I sputter, unable to hide my surprise at such a sudden upheaval. She’s the type I always thought wouldn’t settle down until the day she died. I’d know if she was lying, despite what she likes to think she has plenty of tells.
“Yeah, well, I love her more than I love the agency.” She shrugs again, looking forward at nothing in particular.
I try to think of how to broach a response like that, but her resolve has always been unshakable. When she’s decided something, that’s the way it is; Heavens and Celestia themselves be damned if they try to change her mind.
“What about Goldie?” She asks, still staring down the road. “She’s… Well, she’s an unlikeable know-it-all asshole, but she’s your kind of asshole.”
I feel a hard lump in my throat leap up from my chest, and a foreign feeling bolts down my spine as she mentions Goldfish. They didn’t meet often, but I introduced the two in the event that something happened to me, so Bon-Bon could fill her in on what I was doing for SMILE. I never really thought she’d be the one to-
“Hey, you good?” She asks, and I realize my mind was drifting mid conversation. That’s worrying, I never get distracted when I’m talking to somepony. Ever.
“Yeah! Just thinking about all this relationship stuff, you know, it’s not much my speed to settle down. Still young, gotta live while I can, you know?” I grin back at her. It eases the edge of concern in her face, and a couple seconds later she rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
“Oh yeah, sure, just tell yourself that over and over until you die alone.“ She retorts harshly. Yep, crisis averted, normal Bonnie’s back. “C’mon, if you’re still offering to haul then saddle up, first delivery’s on Potting and Eighth.”
I nod and tighten the clasps over and under my barrel, taking a step forward and feeling the weight of the cart pulling back on me in response, begging to remain stationary. Pretty sure that’s a rule of physics she taught me once.
“Hey.” Bon-Bon pipes up, more quietly than usual. I look over at her, ready to go but curious at the rare soft tone she’s using. “Really. She adores you. Don’t be stupid forever, she’ll wait as long as you make her.”
There’s the feeling again, rising up and trying to shake me. I feel my chest getting ever so slightly tighter, and I need to manually control my breathing to make it look like I’m the typical confident pony she knows me as.
“…Yeah. I’ll talk to her when I see her again.” I say flatly, uncharacteristically cutting off the conversation there. I look forward and start pulling the cart, but I can feel her eyes lingering on the back of my neck as I move past her.
The delivery route to her storehouses and storefront takes about fourty minutes, and it’s done in complete silence.
I take back what I thought earlier. The sooner I talk to Inkwell and get the hell out of this city the better.