A confused unicorn spoke up from the audience. “So, are we, like, going to see any —”
“Show’s over!” Trixie turned her back turned to the onlookers. The crowd dispersed with indistinct grumbling and eyerolling. Cheap Trick was getting used to Trixie’s “performances” ending in disappointment.
“Splendid performance, Cheap Trick.” Trixie looked to Trick and spoke with unexpected cheer.
Trick grimaced at the tone of her voice, like hearing a chiding parent summon her child. “As happy as I am to accept a commendation from the Great and Powerful Trixie herself, I wasn’t aware I did anything.” He rolled his eyes up at his horn. He was sure he didn’t cast anything.
Trixie lit up with glee. “That is the beauty of it, my enthusiastic little assistant! I wanted you to do nothing, and you played your part quite handsomely.” She tapped her hoof, applauding him.
“I did?” His short reply was all he could offer. Trick was blushing, impressed by her ease in make him feel so special but foalish with the same words.
“All Trixie needed for you to do was sit there and look eager, like you’d tear the town apart if Trixie so much as nodded in your direction. Trixie imagines the two of them consider you to be quite the formidable magic user.”
“Are you implying I’m not?” Trick huffed.
“Do you really want Trixie to answer that? Just remember the Great and Powerful Trixie is not your assistant.” She flipped her tail in his face as she walked in front of him.
Trick twitched his nose, fending off both the urge to sneeze and to lash back from being insulted. “You can’t possibly expect to distract me after saying something like that.”
Her horn glowed briefly, and Trick heard the caravan’s main lever shift. “You may want to jump down with Trixie now.”
Both Trick and Trixie jumped off the stage. Wood creaked as the extended sides closed in. The stage folded up towards the center and rose to meet the edges of the side walls, rattling the inner workings and contents of the caravan. The lowering roof snapped into place and ended the mechanical cacophony. After months of travelling, Trick still found himself squirming through the whole process. Trixie stood by him unaffected.
“It’s almost as cranky as you are after a bad show,” he said with a chuckle.
“Don’t try Trixie’s patience. Trixie preferred the dumb oaf who wanted to follow Trixie to the ends of Equestria.” She leaned in close to Trick, batting her eyelashes. “Could she have him instead?”
“Believe me, the ‘dumb oaf’ would be more than happy to go back to how it was.” Trick idly examined the spokes of the wheels as he humored Trixie with their usual dialogue. He kicked a wheel lightly then stepped back, holding back a smile from imagining the caravan falling apart from his prodding. “This side-project of yours is not what I had in mind when I helped replace your caravan.”
“Trixie has plenty of energy left to teach ungrateful assistants a lesson in manners.” She marched up to the side door of the caravan and used magic to open it.
Unabashed, Trick followed closely behind. “Of course you do. You have plenty of energy after every time we don’t—”
Trixie snapped around with a scowl that twisted the delicate features she showed only moments ago. “Don’t. Finish. That. Sentence.”
Trick sighed playfully. “Alright, I won’t. It just seems your shows should feature a little more magic and a bit less traumatic extortion.”
Trixie gasped. Trick’s smug attitude was stifled as she saw her won over by some dark inspiration. “You’re right, Trick! You should put your magic to good use for Trixie tonight, and see what can help Trixie reunite with Twilight Sparkle.” She shuffled into the caravan and shut the door on Trick.
The bolt rattled into place, locking Trick outside. “You’re not seriously suggesting I stalk that librarian you reduced to tears?”
“Twilight will seek out the Great and Powerful Trixie when the time is right. However, Trixie expects her assistant to stalk if stalking can find us a plan B. Trixie also expects her assistant to fulfill his obligation to our prior agreement while she rests.”
He jiggled the knob despite knowing the door wouldn’t budge. “Now is not a good time to be pulling that card! I’m just as tired as you are, and I can always do this for you in the morning.” After giving up on the door, he jumped to the side of the caravan and opened the window. “I don’t appreciate being ignored, either!”
“Don’t you want Trixie to get her beauty sleep? Trixie has been more than generous to you and can still think of plenty of ways at this hour to make you regret your insolence.” Trixie’s exasperation was very unbecoming of her. Trick knew it usually led to her resorting to getting what she wanted through far less graceful means.
Trixie tried to close the window, but Trick reached out his hoof in time and kept it open. “Listen, Cheap Trick, just think of it as a favor. Wouldn’t that be exciting, knowing the Great and Powerful Trixie would be in your debt?”
Trick pressed the advantage. “A less patient stallion would have left you months ago. Keep me interested in doing your chores.”
“How about a magic lesson?” Trixie asked as she attempted to push him away without success.
“When’s the last time you even picked up a book?” Trick had no problem keeping the window open, even with Trixie’s hoof in his face. He was determined to gain some ground even if it meant jumping in there to continue the argument.
“Well,” Trixie grunted, “Could Trixie pay you back for her new caravan?” She was now curt, perhaps from realizing he was learning the cheap tricks she used herself.
Trick's frustration with her tired him more than her struggling. “You already know I don’t care about money.”
“If you keep wasting your time bickering with Trixie, you won’t be able to do what she asked!”
“Then give me a reason to stick around!”
“Trixie will spend a day with you to do whatever you like!” Trixie blurted out.
Trick’s eyes widened in awe at the implication. He stepped away from both Trixie and the window to contemplate what this meant for him, forgetting briefly that she was throwing almost her entire weight on him. Without thinking he dove forward to catch her shrieking, tumbling form.
Trick saw Trixie’s eyes glisten from the realization he saved her. As soon as Trick felt any sense of reward in coming to her rescue, she freed herself from his arms and dusted herself off as if to put the moment behind her. That could have been more intimate, he thought to himself.
Trixie batted Trick’s hooves away when he tried to help her up. “If you had been practicing your magic, you wouldn’t have needed to catch Trixie.”
“I don’t mind getting my hooves dirty to help you.”
Trixie smirked. “We have an agreement then?”
“Hardly. I don’t believe you’d actually go on a date with me after all your lectures on why you don’t date your assistants. Your interest in that librarian was pretty transparent, too.”
“I just thought it would help my case,” Trixie nervously clarified. “You saw how comfortable she was with that pegasus! If she starts spending more time with her head in the clouds, she’ll surely stop embracing the talent Trixie sees in her. Therefore, if Trixie wins her affection, Twilight will finally rid herself of that distraction.”
“Although you sound sincerely worried about whom Twilight chooses to date, they seemed pretty close. I’m not sure acting like that will win her over.” Trick’s voice dropped off, having regretted his choice of words almost immediately. His fears were confirmed when Trixie suddenly convulsed with excitement.
“That’s it! If Trixie can use her ways and convince Twilight to practice magic as Trixie’s stagehoof, she won’t even have time to worry about anyone other than Trixie!”
Trick gulped. “Now you’re replacing me? Why would I even agree to this?!”
“A-ha! There’s the dumb oaf Trixie loves to tote around. Simple Trick, how is Trixie supposed to woo Twilight once the filly becomes her assistant?” Her gentle voice, though condescending, remained virtuous in sound.
Trick recognized what Trixie was trying to say. It almost made too much sense to him, and he already expected her to try and say what he wanted to hear.
But it was so elegant. She was elegant.
“Okay. I’ll do what you ask, provided two things. I get to sleep is my first demand.”
“This is fine as long as you don’t disturb Trixie. And the other condition?”
“You come with me. I’ll do whatever you ask, but we go on this field trip together. You point, I’ll shoot. Or in this case, stalk.”
Trixie walked back towards the door in contemplation.
“So is it a deal? Just imagine a whole day where you get to boss me around.” Trixie would undoubtedly find no difference between his idea for the day’s activities and any other given day. Trick just hoped she liked to be buttered up.
Trixie stared at the door and remained silent.
“Wh-what is it?”
“You will have your day of playing lapdog. Be prepared to do whatever I say, and understand that Trixie won’t be satisfied until the Great and Powerful Trixie has her new playth— Trixie means, her new assistant. However...”
“However?” Trick stood beside her, anticipating another hoop to jump through.
“In order for us to sleep, where do you and Trixie need to be?”
“Uh, inside the caravan?”
“Correct. And do you remember why you didn’t follow Trixie into the caravan in the first place?”
“It’s still locked, isn’t it?” Trick’s shoulders sank.
“Trixie is sure you have a grabbing spell which doesn’t need direct view of the object. Open the door.”
Trick held his tongue. The new day wouldn’t arrive for several hours, but Trixie was already barking orders. Questioning her own knowledge on spells useful for the predicament would jeopardize his chance for pleasant sleep, let alone a pleasant day afterward.
His horn illuminated the delight in Trixie’s face as the bolt moved out of place. Trixie stepped inside and flipped her tail in Trick’s face again as he followed behind. He tried to hold in the sneeze the second time but gave in.
“Achoo!”
“Hmph. Did Trixie give you permission to sneeze?”
Trixie’s question prompted Trick to closely re-evaluate the sense in making such a deal. “Heh, the things I do for L—”
“Did Trixie give you permission to speak?”
“Nevermind. Goodnight, Trixie.” Goodbye, dignity.