//------------------------------// // Meet the neighbors. // Story: Pony Grumps // by The watchful pony //------------------------------// Jon woke up to find himself on the couch with his hind legs open and one of his hoofs over his head. He lowered his hoof and saw the inside of the library. He was all alone except for the dragon he fell on the day before, who was sleeping in a basket on the floor. "That can't be good for your back”, said Jon as he got off the couch and stretched. When he was done stretching he walked over to the downstairs bathroom. As he entered it, Ego came down, stopping halfway downstairs to rub his eyes. He walked to the fruit bowl and picked up an apple. As he brought it up to his mouth, he heard Jon scream from the bathroom, “Holy mother of god.” Jon ran out of the bathroom. “What’s wrong?”, said Ego. “Dude, duuuuude, have you looked at your dick yet?”, asked Jon. “Umm, no why?” “Look between your legs”, Ego did as his friend asked, and stared where he assumed his privates would be. He quickly jerked his head back up after realizing what Jon meant. “Dude." “I know. It looks like you’re a woman, right?” “Well that, and the fact that it’s so easy to see.” "Oh yeah, that too." "Kinda makes me wonder how easy it would be to sneak a peek." All of a sudden, Arin and Jon heard a loud yawn from the stairs. They saw Twilight there with her hair all messy and bags over her eyes. "Morning you two, I hope you slept well", Twilight greeted the pair with a yawn. "I'm a bachelor, I'm accustomed to sleeping on the couch", said Jon "You sleep on the couch in my house too", said Ego. "Shut up." "You two are some strange ponies." "I'm not a po-" Jon began informing the unicorn, before Ego put his hoof over his mouth with an awkward smile on his face. "Anyway..., I guess I need to give you two a trip around town. Let me just freshen up and then we'll get going." "Sounds good.", said Ego as he continued to hold the now flailing Jontron. Twilight trotted over to the bathroom and closed the door, at which point, Ego let go of Jon as he let out a huge breath and fell over. Jon got on his hooves as Ego was saying, "Are you a fucking idiot Jon? We can't let anybody know about us being humans." "Did you have to grab my muzzle!?" "Yes... Yes I did." "Well, give me some fucking warning next time." "I wouldn't have to if you just knew how things worked, Now don't tell anybo- I mean 'anypony' that we're humans." "Noted." "What's noted?", asked the now returning Twilight as she exited the bathroom with a brush tugging at her mane. "I was....... Uuuuhhhhh just telling Jon to take notes and he said noted." Jon gave ego a very dirty look after Twilight was not looking at them anymore. "Really." "Shutup Jon." "Anyway, are you two ready to check out the rest of Ponyville?", said Twilight as both Jon and Ego nodded their heads in agreement. Twilight opened the door with her magic as Jon and Ego followed her. The town was hustling and bustling with ponies. The market was full of stalls selling everything from pots and pans to apples and carrots. As Twilight was walking she pulled out her grocery list. "So this place is advanced enough to have indoor plumbing, but doesn't know how to make a grocery store?", complained Jon. "This place is like a reverse third world country", said Ego. "Okay, you two-", said Twilight as she pulled out another list and a small bag of bits "- since Spike has the day off, maybe you two can help me out. I know the princess wanted me to take you two in, but you can consider this your way of paying for rent. Meet me at Sugarcube Corner when you're done, just look for the big pink building." "Oh Lordy, yes, master, right away master", said Ego. "Oooookay then", said Twilight as she trotted away. "What the hell was that Arin?" "I was pretending to be an old jive black girl from the south." "I find that both racist and hilarious. Lets do this shopping list." Jon and Ego were trotting through the Market, stopping at the stall that sold asparagus. Jon used his magic to lift out some bits and picked up the asparagus. Both Jon and Ego walked towards the next stall when Jon said. "Dude, real talk?" "Yeah?" "This can't be good for the economy." "What can't?" "A currency made from gold. It's like, unless you have a never ending supply, it is so fucking impractical." "That's a good point actually. Oh shit hold up, here's the apple stand", said Ego as both Jon and Ego trotted over the apple stand. There were two ponies there. One was orange with a blond mane and a hat, the other had a red mane and a bow "Howdy there, I'm Applejack, and this is my little sister Apple Bloom" "Howdy sirs. Are you here to buy some apples?", said Apple Bloom "Why, yes, we are here to buy some apples for Twilight", said Jon "What are we, her new slaves?", said Ego "Well, I don't know about you, bu-." Applejack came up to both Jon and Ego and started to shake Ego's hoof in an overly exaggerated fashion. "I haven't seen you around Ponyville, that must mean y'all must be new in town. Well, any friend of Twilights is a friend of mine." "Same here, Applejack", said Jon as Ego looked at his throbbing hoof "So where are you two from any how?" "We're from California" informed Jon, as Applejack and Apple Bloom looked at him with a quizzical expression "Where in Equestria is that?", asked Apple Bloom curiously. "It's a district in Canterlot. We're from Canterlot", Ego deadpanned. "Oh, I bet Rarity's gonna love you two." "BUT 'I'M SAVING MYSELF" Jon exclaimed out loud, as everypony in the market looked at him with a scrunchy face. "Jon, calm down. Sorry, my friend is very excitable." "I couldn't tell. Anyway, you two came to buy some apples, right?" Ego pulled out the grocery list. "Yeah, can we have five apples?" "Alright then,", said Applejack as she put the apples into the bag they had "That'll be 15 bits partner." Jon used his magic to float 15 bits out of the money pouch. Both Jon and Ego gave Applejack a nod and trotted off. "Y'all come back now." she waved them away. "And you keep being a western stereotype", said Ego as both of trotted away while laughing. The both of them continued to shop through the market when they found out that the list they were given was all done. "Well, now what?", said Jon. "Didn't Twilight say to meet her at someplace called Sugarcube Corner?" "Oh yeah, well it shouldn't be too hard to find a pink colored building." Both Jon and Ego trotted through Ponyville looking for the place, when all of a sudden, they heard somepony yell out "LOOK OUT BELOW!" They turned around to see a rainbow streak heading right for them. Jon sidestepped as Ego was struck to the ground. Ego had stars in his eyes as he got up to see a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane. She also got up and looked over to Jon and Ego and gave out a small chuckle. "Sorry about that, I was trying out a new trick." "I see stars..." "That's Arins way of saying it's okay." Ego got up, stumbling around a bit before he stopped next to Jon and hit the side of his head to uncross his eyes. "The name's Rainbow Dash." "Hi there Rainbow, I'm Jon and this is my friend Arin but you can call him Egoraptor." "You two must be the new ponies Applejack was talking to." "How do you know we were talking to Applejack?", asked Jon "I was cloud swimming nearby when I heard you two talking." As Jon and Rainbow were talking, Ego used his wings to fly off to a nearby cloud. "Say, we're actually trying to meet Twilight somewhere, do you know were Sugarcube Corner is?" "Oh it's right there", said Rainbow pointing at a building no more than 10 feet away. "Well, now I feel like an idiot, anyway lets go A.... Arin." "Over here", called out Ego as he lowered down a cloud he was sitting on. "There you are. That looks so comfortable." "It is, hop on." Jon brought up his front hoofs and he fell right through the cloud as his horn got stuck in the ground, causing Rainbow and Ego to fall back laughing. "Oh sure, pick on the fat guy." Jon got his horn out of the ground after a bit of struggling and got back up, rubbing his head. "You okay, Jon?" "Yeah, I'm alright. Well now that that's out of the way, let's get to Sugarcube Corner." "Actually, before you two go, let me give you a little advice. Don't question or engage the pony called Pinkie Pie, trust me, your brain wont be able to handle it." "Thanks for the random advice. Come on Arin." "Right behind you, Jon", said Ego as he and the cloud followed Jon. He passed some ponies while saying "Beep beep, I'm a cloud, one way". As they Got to Sugarcube Corner, Ego got off the cloud and followed Jon inside. As they stepped in, the smell of many sweets overcame them. They stood there for a good minute, enjoying all the sweet and fresh smells. When they stopped smelling they saw that Twilight was there picking up some cupcakes. "Oh, there you two are, how did the shopping go?" "Just fine, and we even met more of your friends", said Ego. "That's great, who did you meet?" "Well, we met walking pride parade, and we also met southern stereotype." Twilight looked at Jon with a quizzical expression. "He means Applejack and Rainbow dash. They looked like nice ponies." "Oh, well it's good to hear you two are getting along with my friends. Now we just need to make a stop at Carousel Boutique to drop off a new book for Rarity, then we're done." Twilight trotted out of Sugarcube Corner as Jon and Ego followed right behind. "So what's a boutique anyway, Arin?" "It's like a dress shop." "Yeah, you know what else is like a dress shop?" "What?" "A sharp dressed man." Jon gave three very loud claps as Ego chuckled. Twilight just rolled her eyes at the two silly ponies. All three of them finally made it to Rarity's shop and entered with the sound of a bell chime. "I'll be there in a minute", said a feminine voice in another room. Ego walked away from Jon and Twilight as Rarity walked out of another room. "Oh Twilight, I was expecting you", said Rarity. "OH, IT'S A MARSHMALLOW PONY!", yelled out Jon. Rarity and Twilight looked at Jon with a look of pure shock. after a few moments Rarity let out a cough and said "Who is your, strange, friend, dear?" "This is Jontron and the pony behind you is Egoraptor." "Well it's nice to meet friends of Twilight. Anyway Twilight, did you find that new book I was looking for." "Yes, it's right here." Twilight used her magic to levitate out a book with the title "The Dress Makers History Guide: Part 3 Color and Animal Patterns". "Oh, thank you so much Twilight. My intuition tells me that fire pattern saddles are going to be in this month, and I want to be ready." "I never thought this place could get any more girly", said Ego "Could you be any ruder?", said Jon "Yeah " Ego said as he made a loud fart sound and lifted one of his back legs. "Right in your face." "I'm legitimately sorry for my friend, he's from a different time." "It's quite alright, Jontron, a lady like myself sees all kinds of strange people come into this store. He just might like Pinkie pie." "Well, it's getting late. Jon and Ego, we should head back home." "Okay, I'm getting tired anyway", said Ego with a yawn. "Nice to meet you, Rarity", said Jon as he gave a wave before leaving.The three of them came to the library which was for some reason, completely dark. "Spike must have gone over to play with Apple Bloom." "Oh, do they have a little thing going on. A little Nick knack patty whack still riding catelacks?" "Um, well they're both old enough to be special someponies, but Spike really only feels that way about Rarity." "He wants to get in the non-existent pants of that marshmallow", said Jon "Well, at least he has high hopes", said Ego. Twilight used her magic to open the door and all three of them entered the pitch black library. She then used her magic to get the lights when all of a sudden the whole room was filled with everypony in town. All of them yelled out "SURPRISE". confetti sprang from everywhere. "Yay, whatarewecelebrating.", said Ego in a rush. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie, we met yesterday. I threw a special party just for you two. How do you like your welcome to Ponyville party." "It's... Nice" "Well duh, of course it's nice, parties are always nice no matter who you are and since I saw you two yesterday I knew that you two were new because I know everypony and I mean everypony in ponyville and since you two were new I had to throw you a welcome to ponyville party and invite everypony here." "WE GET IT! YOU'RE A PONY!" Ego slapped Jon upside his head. "What he means is, where's the punch?" "Oh, right over there." "Thanks, now let's party." All of the ponies in the room let out a cheer as the party commenced. They partied well into the night until all who were left were Spike, Twilight, and the Game Grumps. Pinkie was passed out on the couch until Rainbow put her on her back. "I'll take Pinkie home. You two might want to get use to this because she does parties about once a week." "I'm sure we can handle a little cake and punch once a week" said Ego "Say Rainbow, where's Fluttershy?" asked Twilight while picking up litter with her magic. "Oh, she's in Canterlot helping some unicorn with an animal show. She should be back tomorrow" "Well we'll introduce her to Jon and Ego at a picnic tomorrow." "Definitely, but for now me and Pinkie are turning in. See you tomorrow Jon and Ego." "Please, call us-", said Ego as he looked at Jon, both gave a nod and said "-THE GAME GRUMPS." Rainbow gave a raised eyebrow to both of them and then let out a small chuckle. "Okay then, uh, 'Game Grumps' see you two tomorrow." she made her way out the door, as Ego went upstairs with Twilight and Jon hopped on the couch. ___________________________________________________________________________________ Meanwhile. in a deep and dark cave in a far away land. There can be heard the sound of thousands of insect like creatures all over the cave. Two bright and green eyes can be seen in the distance, breaking through the dark cave. "Don't you worry my babies. Soon, Canterlot will be ours, and then, all of Equestria." Said a feminine voice followed by an evil laugh.