Dear Princess Celestia,
Corporal "Mortarjack" Applejack reporting for duty MAM! If you visited us, I would have to address you like that. How are you doing princess? I'm alright. This place is so interesting. Every time I explore this place I always find something different. The place I'm talking about of course is Boom Hill. Boom Hill is a nickname for the place we have our artillery stationed. There are so many Apple family soldiers here. I even met some very distant cousins I never knew I had. There's Applejohn, Applehead, Applehoof, etcetera etcetera. Basically there are a whole bunch of them. I was wondering what I would write to you about in this letter. After pondering on that for about 5 minutes, I decided to tell you what it means to be a soldier, then to tell you stories on how I saved every one of my friends.
"What does it mean to be a solider?" I am asked this by many of our new recruits. Being a soldier demands SACRIFICE! The battlefield is a dirty, grimy place. It is nothing compared to your neat and tidy houses. It is a filthy, bloody, garbage filled place. WE never have mashed potatoes and hay sandwiches. We have slop, made of Luna knows what. There are no comfy fireplaces in the winter, or air conditioned rooms in the summer. In the winter, we sleep on freezing floors, and in the summer you will be roasted alive.
You must be ready to sacrifice your very lives for the sake of your country, and your countrymen! I have seen ponies give their lives, hoping and praying for this war to end. I have not cried for any of them, for I know they died believing we can win this war. DO NOT CRY FOR THEM, BUT HONOUR THEM. Every shot that comes out any weapon I use, bears the heart and soul of one of my dead comrades. I do not allow myself to miss, for that means I have failed them. I train every pony I get to do the same.
Being a soldier also means discipline. This means NO SHENANIGANS.No fancy shcmancy ways of doing something. You get down to the basics! Straight to the chase! You must follow your orders too. You must trust your commander to protect you, because that is his or her job. Yes we do make bad decisions that sometimes may get you killed, we know that. We pay for it. You also cannot take another ponies job! You have one job, ONE. You cannot wake up one day as a demolitions officer and go to sleep as an engineer. You must follow the orders of any pony with a higher rank. The world has always run this way. Your will was never yours. Your will was always bound to some pony else. If some pony does NOT follow this rule, they will be punished. Without discipline, this army is doomed.
We are a herd! We never leave a pony behind! I live every day knowing that I might have to give my own life for the sake of one of my comrades. I know being a soldier means a lot of other things, but I really want to tell my stories. They all feature me of course, as it is my letter. I love telling war stories, so I figure instead of telling you how my friends are doing, I would tell you how at one time or another, I saved their flanks.
Alright, one time we were forced to fall back because the changelings had nearly broken our final line of defence. The medical station was getting hit hard. My ponies were far enough from the charging changeling attack line, so I ordered them to give me some cover fire. I rushed off to the medical station, knowing Fluttershy was stationed there. On the way I grabbed a shotgun from one of our fallen ponies, as well as his left over rounds.. Out of respect, I closed his still opened eyes and said a little prayer for his soul. It was all I could do for this brave, fallen soldier. I wasn't going to let Fluttershy suffer the same fate, not on my life. I galloped, and damn did I gallop. I galloped faster than I ever had in my life. I swear I could have made a sonic Appleboom. In seconds, I sprinted the entire span of the base. Don't ask me how big it is, I have better things to do than measure the base. Anyway, I made it to the medical station and barged through the front door. I heard explosions outside. "Flutter??? Fluttershy???" I called out. I looked around and noticed a little pink tail sticking out from below one of the beds. I went towards it and pulled out a cowering Fluttershy. "C'mon shy. We're getting out of this hell hole." I told her. She whimpered, but got up. The explosions were closer now. We barged out of the tent, surrounded by changelings. I didn't get a chance to load my shotgun. As Fluttershy was already willing to surrender, I heard a call I knew too well. "APPLESAM. DEAR CELESTIA DAMNIT! I SAID ON THREE!!" Appleboom was yelling at Applesam again. Applesam, one of my cousins, fired (once again) too close to the target (they were trying not to kill us) and too early. I had seconds until we were going to become Flutterpie and Applejuice. I slammed my body on top of Fluttershy. I said a silent prayer to the princesses, hoping that if I couldn't save myself, I could save Fluttershy. I heard a blast. I noticed after a few moments that I was still alive. I slowly opened my eyes. I felt Fluttershy against me, her heart beat soothing me. She was shivering in fear. I held on to the moment for a bit, then helped her up. When she got up I pulled her against me, rubbing her back. "It's alright shy. I got ya." I whispered in her ear. I brought her to the camp, where I let her stay for a bit. I gave her ear muffs for the constant artillery shots. We later took back the fortification.
Next... lets tell you how I saved Rarity.
It was just after lunch when the commander decided to be a complete flank hole and stage an attack. I mean come on, I just ate. I'm gonna get a cramp. The attack kinda went as planned. Shoot, kill, capture, win right? The changelings did push back though. I noticed Rarity wasn't on her usual sniper perch. It was when Applejames spotted Rarity on a little hill, just about one or two kilometers away from us. Why was it that Applejames could spot Rarity, who was still as a rock instead of Pinkie who had explosions surrounding her, or Rainbow Dash who was flying in the air? Because Applejames had a thing for rarity. I find it weird. He thinks I don't know. Anyway, Rarity was being out gunned by a troop of changelings, closing deathly close on her position. I know she could be a bit annoying at times, but she was my friend. I called out to Applehat (yes I do have a ton of family). "Applehat! Set yer markings to 20, 147 ASAP! Our friend needs help!" With that, he was off. After about ten seconds he replied back "Set to fire mam!" Knowing Applesam would probably fire earlier than three, I let him take the shot. Guess what? I was totally right. "SWEET CELESTIAS FLOWING MANE APPLESAM! I SAID ON THREE! BUCKING THREE! ONE, TWO, BLOODY BUCKING HELL THREE! WHERE IN SWEET, SPIKED, CACTUS HELL DID YOU LEARN TO COUNT??? THE BIG CITY??!?!?!!!??" Oh Appleboom. Your loud voice never ceases to amuse me. "Ahm sorreh sir! Ahm sorreh!" I heard Applesam reply. The shells hit, without killing Rarity. Thank Luna. I slumped down and put my hat on my stomach. "Go on guys... I need a break" I told them.
Hold on! there is more. Who should I tell you about next.... what about Pinkie?
Alright this has nothing to do with my mortar team. This story is all me. It was early in the war. We were losing by a ton. One month in and barely a week worth of training, we were in panic when the changelings attacked. Pinkie was so panicky that she forgot to charge her fancy shcmancy suit up. It was midway through the fight. I got permission to leave my artillery team and see the fight from up front. As I was firing away, with a trigger finger that puts Rainbow to shame, I got a call on my radio. It was pinkie screaming she was near the vehicle hanger, and her suit shut down. She couldn't move. The armour was stuck. I galloped like the wind. I saw a squad of thirteen soldiers when I arrived, protecting Pinkie from an approaching platoon. I estimated there were about thirty soldiers closing in on our position. I had to act quickly. I had the most stupendous, apple bucking idea ever. I once saw Big Mac charge a tractor with this box and two cable doohickeys. I noticed there was an identical box and two charger things on Pinkie's armour. I grabbed the two cable doohickeys from the ground and attached it on the two antenna looking things on the box, and attached the other side to Pinkie's armour. To my distress, it didn't work. I had another brilliant idea, and just in the knick of time. There were only 5 people in the defending squad left. I started up the Jeep, and Pinkie lit up like a flash bang. I woke up to a pony poking me, telling me to either drive, or get out of the Jeep. Guess which one I did.
Lets do Twilight next.
Okay so one time, we were on an offensive front against the changelings. Twilight, unlike her, was disorganized and totally confused. That wasn't the bad part by the way. The bad part was that the attack was going well. "Well Applejack, how is that bad?" Well, in the state of disorientation, Twilight rushed blindly into the enemy base. The changelings had her surrounded. I couldn't have done anything if I tried. If I sent an artillery strike, she would have died. I knew I had to do something. For the millionth time, some pony's life is in my hooves. That night, I had Rainbow do recon of the enemy base. Their camp had a prisoner area on the west side. I went out in the middle of the night, armed with a silenced pistol, and a rifle. I successfully infiltrated the base without getting spotted. I set my plan into motion. I spoke quietly into my radio: "Break." The east side of the camp erupted into an inferno of chaos. I had the girls stage an attack on the east side of the camp. Troops ran from the west side to the east side, desperately trying to hold back the surprise attack. I easily slipped by them. I made my way to the prison cells. I killed both of the guards guarding the entrance with my Glocks and dragged their bodies into the darkness behind the prison I peeped inside. I saw Twilight, badly bruised and cut up, chained against the wall. I saw the commander of the changelings, toying with her and abusing her. She was struggling to get up, as the commander squeezed her flank and rubbed it, then whipped it. I felt rage boil up inside me. I knew where this was going. I heard him speak to her. "You are going to carry the hundreds of offspring I want pony. I don't care how much it hurts.... the number of children we will make will put he number of stars to shame." I totally lost it. I had friends who were raped by other ponies. Twilight was always there for me. It was my turn to return the favour. I charged at the commander, and tackled him to the ground, breaking both of his legs, and throwing his holstered pistol away. I grabbed the key to Twilight's chains and unchained her. I took out my survival matchbox and struck a match. I dropped it on the changeling commander and helped Twilight get out of the building. I didn't care for his agonising screams, or the fact that flesh was melting off him. I helped Twilight out of the camp, using the back alleys I took to get into the base. I gave the order to pull out, and all my friend's got out safely. I cared for Twilight with Fluttershy. I learned some neat stuff. Hey did you know leeches actually s- err... never mind.
I know you probably received letters from Rainbow stating how awesome she is and how she never needs help. I'm here to prove that wrong.
It was mid day. What made this day special was that ti was one of the only days we had sunlight shining through the darkened clouds. Rainbow was in the hanger, and she was granted permission to test fly some flying doohickey for a bit. I saw her take off from the hanger. It was almost as loud as an artillery strike. She was flying that huge bird when the changelings attacked us. From my artillery post, I could see a legion of changelings marching head on to us. I could see we were outnumbered, but I doubted the fact we would be out gunned. Rainbow was given a weapons free order to attack. I was about to relax, knowing we had a billion bullets flying around overhead, ready to kill anything and everything, but I got cocky. While I was getting relaxed, letting my ponies fire, letting Applesam screw up, I heard Applejames call me. I got up lazily, but he dragged me. Behind the line of changelings, was a line of heavy vehicles. We were going to be slaughtered if Rainbow didn't do anything. I yelled for my ponies to focus fire on the armoured vehicles. Rainbow was also in combat with the armoured vehicles, when an AA cannon attached to one of the tanks shot down her plane. She was going down fast. I saw her punch out as she was going down. She flew down to the wreckage of her plane, trying to find if her weapons survived. I saw a tank appear out of the forest. Amidst all the chaos, Rainbow didn't notice. The tank was only meters away from her. She was weapon less. I galloped to our personal armoury and grabbed a rocket launcher. This was going to be close. I galloped back to the edge of Boom Hill, and aimed the rocket with ease. I fired... It soared... and it hit. Rainbow luckily saw the rocket fire, and kissed the dirt. I gave her the thumbs up and ran to Rarity, telling her to cover rainbow while she gets back to base.
So there. I did save even Rainbow's flank. Well thats all I really wanted to write about. I hope my stories didn't bore you. I can't wait until we get time off. I want to go back to bucking things besides changeling heads. Can't wait till we see you again too Princess.
From your friend,
Corporal "MORTARJACK" Applejack.