Chapter Three
Seeking one’s self
The next day Spike woke up and did his usual chores around the library and then went back upstairs to lounge around and do some reading, lying in Twilight’s bed while she was hanging out with her friends in Ponyville.
Of course the books of choice for Spike right now were books to help someone find who they are, whether it be a pony seeking a cutie mark or a dragon seeking its sexuality.
Spike found that last one to be a little too specific.
Nevertheless the dragon was reading through the back, though it wasn’t being explicitly helpful. Most of it was lengthily worded paragraphs that basically told him to follow his instincts, which didn’t help because he was too confused over his sexually to know what instincts to follow.
Mares or stallions, Spike. It’s not that hard to figure out his mind declared.
“Yes, it is” the dragon whispered to himself, wishing that it really wasn’t this hard to figure it out.
Closing the book with a sigh Spike set it aside and put his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling, lost in thought.
I need to figure this out, otherwise it’ll tear me apart; I just wish there was someway to know, like some kind of sign that could tell me one way or the other the dragon thought.
I don’t want to have to resort to a fortune-teller or something weird like that.
Deciding that books wouldn’t be able to help him Spike stood and went out into Ponyville, looking to do some hands-on research to help himself. Perhaps looking at a mare and a stallion and comparing them might help his predicament.
Maybe Lickety might be able to help me figure this out... No, what would he know about sexuality? He's an ice cream stallion, not a matchmaker Spike thought, echoing what the young stallion had said to him yesterday.
Soon reaching Ponyville proper the dragon scanned the market and looked between both the mares and stallions going about their days.
Yeah she’s pretty, but what about him? He’s pretty handsome the dragon’s mind chirped as his eyes looked back and forth between a mare and a stallion standing on opposite sides of the street.
Despite his best efforts Spike couldn’t find anything explicitly attractive about the mare; she was pretty, no doubt, but the dragon felt no desire for her, no urge to be with her or any kind of attraction to her.
However the stallion was a similar case; despite being a handsome specimen with powerful-looking wings and a coat with a brilliant sheen a sexy flank and...
Oh...Oh my Spike thought, a blush coming to his face as he realized he was making googly eyes at an almost fully grown up Rumble, who was Thunderlane’s brother.
Sighing in exasperation Spike turned and left Ponyville market, thinking I guess it’s true...I’m gay, a coltcuddler.
I guess you really were barking up the wrong tree all along his mind chirped.
“What does that even mean?!” the dragon said to himself as he went on his way back to the library. Of course now that he knew what he was he was faced with another dilemma: how and when to tell Twilight and her friends, as well as his own friends. Lickety had already told him he’d be OK with it if he was gay, but what would Snips and Snails think? What about Applebloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle?
He didn’t know, but right now that would have to wait, for now he was going to go back to the library and tidy up a bit.
When he reached his home he couldn’t help but fear the eventuality of telling Twilight and her friends; he decided he would tell just Twilight first, but even then it would take him some time to muster the courage to tell her. The two had never talked about this, for they assumed that Spike would always be interested in Rarity. The dragon didn’t even know what Twilight thought of gays in general.
“Maybe I won’t ever tell them... No, I have to tell them, I won’t be able to keep this a secret forever. But what would be the right time?” Spike asked himself.
The sooner the better... Just get it all off your chest as quick as possible his mind told him, and Spike had no reason to disagree.
“So be it...I’ll tell them all very soon” he said to himself, lying down on the couch in the foyer of the library, wondering if telling them so soon would really be such a good idea.
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A/N: short chapter is short.
Legal note: Spike the Dragon, Rumble, and all other related characters belong to Hasbro. My Little Pony belongs to Hasbro.