//------------------------------// // Chapter 88 (The Cart Before the Ponies) // Story: Spike The Brony Dragon // by red4567 //------------------------------// Twilight told me about what happened during her book-sort-cation, and how her inside jokes came to be. The kite joke came from when Starlight was flying her kite. The string broke, and the kite ended up flying away with Starlight chasing after it. It entered one of the windows in the castle, which happened to be one of the windows Twilight opened in the library for fresh air. She freaked out, briefly thinking the kite was attacking her. Starlight showed up to retrieve her kite, and she apologized to Twilight for disturbing her. She then stayed in the library to fix her kite while also helping Twilight with her book-sort-cation. The telescope joke happened the day after that. While organizing her books, Twilight noticed a blinking light hitting one of the shelves. She traced it back to the Golden Oaks Library. The sequence of blinks made Twilight think something was wrong, so she immediately teleported there. However, it turned out Moondance and Minuette, the latter of whom happened to come over for a visit, were using the telescope to look at some of the clouds. After settling the confusion, the trio went to the castle to assist Twilight in sorting her books. The stretch joke was when Starlight wanted to practice certain spells under Twilight’s watch. Cliche as it was, something went wrong, and as a result, Starlight ended up elongating uncontrollably. Thankfully, the spell was reversed without any physical damage. Also I learned that Long Glimmer was canon. Unlike Twilight in the show, I actually found those moments to be pretty funny without having to be there. I suppose as long as the ponies try to describe the moment as accurately as they can, instead of just saying “you had to be there,” you can understand why they find it so funny. Also, Twilight was able to read my notes and look at the pictures. She made only a few giggles, but it was better than in the episode. One day, I showed Twilight a poster for the upcoming Applewood Derby. “Huh, I didn’t know Ponyville had a racing derby,” Twilight said. “It must’ve been one of those events that got mixed up like the ones last year. Did you want us to participate?” “Of course,” I replied. “We get to design our own kart and race with other ponies. Does it sound like fun?” “Well, I’ve got nothing else planned for that day. Where do we sign up?”  There were two reasons why I wanted to join the Applewood Derby. The first was that I wanted to participate in a real cart race for fun. The second was the episode, “The Cart Before the Ponies.” This episode bothered me so much, I couldn’t fully rewatch it. From the poorly designed track, to the girls overshadowing their little sisters, to the CMC not saying anything, it was like the episode took place on “National Idiot Day.” As Twilight signed us up for the derby, I saw a layout of the track on the table. Thankfully, it had no intersections, which was a big relief for me since I suggested it a while back. I applaud whoever’s in charge for making that decision. My next task was to find Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack. Coincidentally, I found all three of them at a nearby hill. “I’ll meet up with you later, Twilight,” I said. “Sure thing.” Twilight headed back to the castle. I ran up the hill. “Hello, girls. I’ve been looking for you three.” “Howdy, Spike,” said Applejack. “What do you need us for?” “Well, as you girls know, the Applewood Derby is coming soon, and you know what that means, right?” “Duh, everypony will build their own carts and race them!” Rainbow replied ecstatically as she did a loop. “Why do you ask?” “Because rumor has it, the CMC would be interested in signing up, and they could use a hoof with creating their carts.” The trio’s excitement shot up like a rocket, much to my chagrin. “We’d be glad to help them!” they exclaimed in unison. “I’ve got tons of ideas to make the fastest cart!” Rainbow shouted. “I think I still got the design from my old derby cart back home!” “I know a thing or two ‘bout crafting a traditional cart, since the Apples had always won the most traditional cart ever since the derby started,” Applejack declared. “I made the mistake of coming in second in my last derby, but now I know what the race cart audience wants,” Rarity exclaimed. They want big! They want bold! And that’s what I’ll give them!” “Girls! Girls! Stop it!” I called out. “Stop what, Spike?” Rainbow shrugged. “Friendly banter isn’t an argument. Lower your standards, will ya?” “You three are forgetting something, this is the CMC’s race, not yours. It’s not some do-over for you, girls. The fillies want your help, not for you to take over everything.” Applejack asked. “What, ya think we’ll—?” “Yes,” I bluntly replied. “Wow, ya didn’t even let me finish.” “Spike, darling,” Rarity said. “We just want our little sisters to have fun and enjoy everything the derby has to offer.” “Then let them enjoy it their own way, without any of you hogging the spotlight,” I said. “Fine, we’ll swallow our pride just this once,” Applejack sighed. “For the sake of our sisters. Though it’s gonna be a challenge for Rainbow…” “I heard that!” Rainbow rebutted. The day before the preparations, I headed to the Ponyville Schoolhouse. As much as I wanted to take Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash’s word that they’ll let the CMC do the crafting and racing, I wanted to cover all my bases. I found the Cutie Mark Crusaders just as they gave a high-five to each other. “Hey, crusaders,” I greeted. “I was in the area, and I overheard you three talking about joining the derby.” “That’s right,” Scootaloo replied. “You’re going to take part in it, too?” “Yep. I also wanted to give you all some advice. If you’re looking to take home one of the three ribbons, you should have a helper who’s an expert on one the three categories. For example, if you want speed, you’d best get Rainbow Dash to help you. If you want tradition, you can get Applejack to assist you.” “Huh, we were gonna ask our respective sisters to help us,” Applebloom said, “but maybe we should swap if it’ll help us get those ribbons.” Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo agreed. “Also, make sure to remind them that you’re the one who’s making and racing the carts, not them,” I continued. “The girls can get pretty…prideful when it comes to a racing event like this.” “I can understand Rainbow Dash being prideful,” Sweetie Belle pointed out, “but I didn’t think Rarity or Applejack would be as well.” “You’d be surprised.” That was the CMC part done. With that, the entire episode should play out differently. Hopefully. The next day, Twilight and I made our way to the farm to get our block of wood. “Okay, Twilight, you should work on all the mechanics of the cart while I work on the design,” I suggested. “Will do.” Twilight stretched her wings. “I know every physics equation by hoof. And my Canterlot friends said I wouldn’t need to use them in the real world. There’s just one thing. Have you decided what the cart should look like?” “I had a few ideas.” I took out a few pieces of paper. “I’m thinking we should go for a simple design. That way, it’s easier and faster for us to work on.” The cart design I had in mind came from a very old anime I watched back in the human world. In fact, I don’t think my father was born when the anime came out. The car in the anime had a lot of gadgets, such as a jump boost, buzz saws, and even bulletproof glass. But since this was going to be a one-time race, I wanted to focus more on the design. Twilight and I grabbed our tools from the main event stand and got to our respective stall. That’s when I saw the CMC with Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Applejack behind them. The older ponies were carrying the tools instead of the fillies. This looks promising. I shared with Twilight my design for the cart so she would know where to put the wheels and other accessories. Afterwards, I sketched shapes onto the block. “Have you ever been in a Derpy…I mean, derby before, Twilight?” I asked as I got out the chisel and hammer. “Not really, but I do know a thing or two about cart-racing; you probably already know where I learned it from.” Twilight replied as she rummaged through the tools. “Oh, no.” “What is it?” “They forgot to give us paint brushes.”  “That’s okay. I’ll go around and ask if anypony has some spares we can use.”  “But what about carving the cart?”  “I’ve got time.” “If you say so. I’ll continue working on the gear ratios.” I needed an excuse to find the CMC and their big sisters anyway, so this was the perfect opportunity. I went to the first stall I found. There, I found Applebloom and Rainbow Dash working on their cart. It looked just like the one at the end of the episode, so it was safe to assume that the other two carts would be the same. “Do ya think floor wax will make the cart speed up, or the wood varnish?” Applebloom asked. Rainbow replied, “Personally, I used wing balm during my last cart race…but this is your cart after all, whatever you pick is up to you.” “Floor wax it is. Oh, howdy Spike.” “Huh?” Rainbow Dash saw me. “Hey, cheater! You can’t steal ideas from our cart!” “Oh, no! I’m not doing that!” I defended myself. “I was wondering if you had any extra paint brushes.” “Sorry, Spike, we’ve got only two here,” Applebloom replied. “Maybe the other girls have some extras.” “Okay, thank you.” I tried the next stall over. I knocked on one of the walls. “Come in!” Sweetie Belle called out. I entered the stall to see Applejack and Sweetie Belle crafting a rather historical cart. “Hi, do you girls have a spare paintbrush or two?” I asked. “Twilight and I need some.” “Sorry, Spike, but our cart kit here has only two,” AJ responded. “Did yours not come with any? It was supposed to.” “It didn’t. I’m hoping one of the other participants got some extras by mistake.” “Come to think of it, I did hear Rarity comment about paint brushes with Scootaloo before we split up,” Sweetie Belle pointed out. “Maybe you should ask them.” “Alright, I will.” I left the stall. “Nice job on the cart design! Keep it up!” I kept my fingers crossed that I would luck out with the next duo. I overheard Rarity ask, “Are you sure you want to use this arrangement for the wings?” “Hey, my design, my rules,” Scootaloo reminded her. “Right. I apologize.” “Pardon me, ladies,” I said as I entered the stall. “But by any chance do you have an excess amount of brushes?” “As a matter of fact we do,” Rarity replied as she searched in the toolbox. “I assumed they gave us extras since Scootaloo was going for the most creative cart.” “You’re welcome to take some, Spike,” Scootaloo offered. “Thanks,” I said as Rarity gave me a pair of brushes. I hurried back to Twilight and resumed carving. After hours of chiseling, planing, and sanding, the body of the car was complete. Twilight and I carefully added the gears and wheels among the other features needed. The cart would have two pedals. One would make the car accelerate by being tapped repeatedly, similar to a bass drum pedal. The other would stop the cart, and it functioned like a normal car’s brakes. Twilight and I grabbed some paint buckets and painted the exterior completely white. Afterwards, I took what remaining time we had left to add a few details. “Why are you painting a number five on the side?” Twilight asked. “It’s gonna be the design for the cart,” I replied. “I call it the ‘Pone 5’.” “I gotta say, this is one weird design for a cart. Is this from one of your comic books?” “Uh, yes! It is.” The sound of trumpets filled the air, indicating that the race was about to begin.  “Derby racers to the starting line! Derby racers to the starting line!” Cheerilee called out. Everypony lined up their carts at the starting line. Twilight and I put our helmets on and hopped into our cart. Much to my relief, I saw the CMC in the driver’s seat of their respective carts instead of their sisters. “Do you even know how to drive?” Twilight nervously asked. “Of course,” I responded. “The long pedal’s for going, the wide one’s for stopping, and the giant circle is for steering. All I have to do is not crash.” “It was a good thing we added seat belts to this thing.” Twilight clicked hers in. I did the same with mine. Cheerilee blew the trumpet once more. “On your marks. Get set. Go!” I jammed on the pedal and the cart took off in a flash. “Woah!” Twilight shouted. “I must’ve underestimated the aerodynamics of this cart’s structure!” The other carts were already speeding along with us. Some of them passed us. The wind in my scales and the sound of the speeding carts gave me a big rush of energy. Here he comes. Here comes Spike Racer. He’s a dragon on wheels. He’s a dragon and he’s gonna be chasing after someone. “We’re coming up to our first turn, Spike!” Twilight barked. “Slow down!” I lifted my foot up from the “gas” and slowly stepped on the brakes, surpassing our first turn. “Thank Celestia!” Twilight yelled. “I’m glad we could balance the handling with the speed!” “Twilight, you don’t have to yell,” I calmly said. “I can hear you just fine.” “Oh, sorry about that, Spike.” That’s when I heard paper rustling behind me. “What’s going on back there?” I asked. “Tell me you didn’t bring a book with you.” “I sketched a map of the track,” Twilight replied. “Since it’s only one lap, I want to keep notes of any important obstacles and turns so we won’t be in for a surprise.” “Okay. What’s the next obstacle?” “We’re gonna hit a small ramp soon, so brace yourself!” “I’d advise you to do the same. Hey, I see Scootaloo’s cart up ahead.” It didn’t take long for me to catch up with Scoots and Rares. By the time we were neck and neck, we hit the ramp at the same time. However, Scoot’s cart glided much farther than mine. “I see Scootaloo and Rarity took advantage of the tail spoiler to further increase their landing distance,” Twilight pointed out. “I guess they really want to win that creative ribbon,” I added. Many twists and turns were made. Some carts caught up with me and vice versa. It was hard to tell what place we were in. I didn’t have any HUD telling me. “Okay, we’re going to be driving through Ponyville for this section of the race,” Twilight said. “Try not to crash into any buildings.” “Relax, Twilight. I’ve been staying on the road all this race.” “Let’s keep it that way.” We soared through the streets of Ponyville. The crowd cheered us on from behind the barriers. “Hey, I think I just saw Starlight and Moondancer!” Twilight called out. “Want me to pull over and check?” I joked. “We’re racing right now!” “I know, I was only joking.” I chuckled. We drove back to the outskirts of town. Thanks to Twilight and my design, we overtook many carts. That’s when I saw Applebloom and Rainbow Dash. They were in first place since I didn’t see any carts ahead of us. “Look alive, Applebloom,” I said. “I’m gaining on you.” Our two cars sped down the final stretch, the lead separated by only a few millimeters. “We’re almost at the finish line, Spike,” Twilight said. “It’s anypony’s game here.” I looked at Applebloom’s cart and bit my lip. “Yeah, and I know who’ll win.” I slowly lowered the tempo of my foot-tapping, causing my cart to slow down ever so slightly. “What are you doing, Spike?” Twilight asked when she noticed. Her question was answered when Applebloom's cart zoomed past the finish line with mine doing the same a half-second later. The crowd bellowed with applause as we hit the brakes. After the race was over (it took a while thanks to Sweetie and AJ’s cart), the ceremony was held to announce the winners. Applebloom’s cart took first place for the fastest, Sweetie Belle’s took first for the most traditional, and Scootaloo’s took first for the most creative. I swore I saw Rarity smirk at Derpy for a brief moment. Twilight and I came in second for the fastest cart. Later that evening, Twilight and I rolled our cart back home. “In all seriousness, it was nice of you to let Applebloom win so she can earn first place like her other friends,” Twilight said. “But how did you know that all three of them would earn first place?” “I had a feeling,” I replied. To be honest, however, the show didn’t reveal the outcome of the second race, so I never learned who won what. As for today, I was so glad the episode turned out better than what happened in canon. The CMC made their own carts, their sisters didn’t steal the spotlight, there were no crashes, and the outcome of the race was revealed for once. “Say, Spike, where are we going to put this cart?” Twilight asked. “I’m not sure,” I replied. “You think we’ll get a roommate who’ll want a racecar bed?”