On the outside in the hospital room, Celestia, Luna, and Spike watched the screen next to Cadance and Shining Armor, who was holding her hoof, as it showed a blip moving rapidly in the diagram of her bloodstream, towards her rear. As it reached it, a second diagram appeared, showing her digestive system.
B: Nearing the vagus nerve rectal terminus, high levels of magical energy detected.
“Fury, keep us steady, we don’t want to bump that or we could cause serious problems…remember everyone, this nerve is connected all over the body, so it’s a bit critical to her wellbeing.“ The Doctor said. “Now, are we in position?”
B: Affirmative.
“Fury, Twilight, I want you both out there.” The Doctor said.
The two nodded and got in their bio-suits, then headed into the airlock.
“So…” Twilight began. “You've been next to a pony’s rectum often?”
"Okay, that’s a very personal question. To be honest, the closest I've ever been to a pony's backside is because of The Royal Sisters. Mostly Celestia with how tall she is compared to me."
“Right, hehe…just a little nervous, you know? And I figured you might’ve tested on some willing subject and…sorry.”
“Twilight, your mic’s on, and so is his. You two never turned them off...” said Spike.
Twilight went wide-eyed. “Whoops…anyways, once more into the breach.” She headed out as the outer airlock door opened.
"Heh, yeah. Let's go." Fury chuckled nervously. "Sweet mother of Equestria, I'm gonna be in so much trouble with her for that…" He whispered
“Oh there’s no trouble…” Luna started. “Don’t think I haven’t seen all of the dreams about me and my sister and Cadance and… many more things that are far more on the disturbing side. Just stay on task.”
Fury grumbled as he stepped out with Twilight. “So…how are we taking the magic out of this thing, exactly?”
B: You will have to act as a conduit to stabilize the energy for Twilight to collect and redirect…and it appears in this case that the previous spell will again be insufficient to dissipate the energy in time. In fact, there is so much more that if a spell is not readied…the magic may fry you in mere seconds. Twilight will have to prepare and cast the spell immediately.
Twilight gulped. “Right um…Cadance, any ideas on spells I could use?”
Cadance sneezed lightly, making Spike seem to panic outside and stomp on something, then sighed. “In my butt? Well…there’s that one spell for an emergency involving a certain situation with a Prench dignitary…”
Twilight blinked. “You’re sure?”
“Yes…just in case.” Cadance replied.
“Alright, Fury… grab my horn, and when I count down to 0, also grab the nerve. It’ll probably feel horrible, but the spell will definitely use a lot of the energy, so as long as your suit doesn’t melt, we should be fine.“
Fury gulped. “Right…as long as it doesn’t melt…sure…” He hesitantly grabbed onto her horn.
"Okay, here we go… 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0!" Twilight charged her horn just as Fury grabbed onto the nerve. Within a fraction of a second, tons of multi-colored arcs streamed across his biosuit and into Twilight’s horn.
Fury screamed and shook slightly, while Twilight casted a spell in a narrow, continuous beam towards the wall of the rectum, a bit away from where the nerve connected.
“O-ooh! …that definitely…feels mmm…weird.” Cadance said as she breathed heavily. “A good weird, but…like I just used the bathroom and also like...well, like you owe me dinner… First The Doctor and now you, Twilight? Bad date manners must be spreading!” Cadance began chuckling quietly but hard, clearly unable to contain laughter at her own joke in her pleasured state.
“That’s…honestly about what I expected, so…you’re welcome, I guess. Ew, though.” Twilight said. “I’ll have to keep casting the spell for a bit, so hopefully things stay the same for her.” She kept the beam steady.
“Yeah…you do not wanna see her face right now. Some things belong in the bedroom, some in the bathroom, and this…this is both.” Spike replied as Cadance moaned.
"Oh great, more mental images that'll stick with me for the rest of my life." Fury remarked as the magic continued to flow across him.
Suddenly, a loud sputter was heard from outside, accompanied by a heavy rumble inside.
“Ew, Cadance! Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse!” shouted Spike.
“Sorry, but I’m not exactly in control while they’re kind of uh, messing with my nerve down there…” Cadance replied with a nervous chuckle. “I had Twilight cast the spell that should make everything smell like roses. Takes a surprising amount of energy, so…” She stopped as more gas let out, for nearly half a minute, making even Shining groan. “Excuse me…uh…Fury, you’re not dead in there, right?”
"I… think my body just got rearranged." He remarked dizzily as the magic flow finally stopped. "My stomach feels as if it just bounced out of me."
“Kind of the same here…” Cadance said. “And my hospital bed is now made of cheese. I guess there was some magic left in that gas…”
“We are throwing out that cheese before anypony gets any ideas…” Shining said.
"Yeah, I’d say…I guess you uncut it! But uh, burn the cheese too, just to be safe… Bagley, how we doin’?"
B: The only remaining magical buildup is in her intestines, duodenum, and stomach. A trip up from your current position through the intestines should allow you to collect residual magical energy safely until you enter the stomach.
“...I’m not touching her entire intestinal tract.” Fury stated bluntly.
B: That will not be required, the intestines are very stable. Twilight should be able to simply hug the inner lining while continuously casting a light spell. The vibrations from the magical energy may push her away slightly, but her wings should allow her to shimmy back into place through the bio-suit.
Fury giggled. “Looks like you’ll be doin’ it instead.”
Twilight groaned and rolled her eyes. “Oh great… I’m only doing this for you, Cadance…”
“Thanks… I guess this’ll bring a new meaning to doing a little shake in our dance.” Cadance replied while sounding like she was stifling a chuckle.
Fury burst out cackling.
“Just… Get. In. The Pod.” Twilight demanded, pointing.
"Alright alright, I'm going, Madame Fussy Britches." Fury said as he rushed into the airlock.
“You two are really stretching the boundaries of ‘being nice’... now Bagley, how do we get into the colon?” The Doctor added.
B: Forceful entry could cause serious damage, and the pod cannot shrink on its own to slip in via narrow paths such as from the bloodstream. Twilight may be able to do a phasing spell on the pod, as the lining of the rectum is not particularly thick. In addition, the pod will need to unshrink again once inside to provide the proper scale for Twilight’s magic collection.
“Right. Twilight, get in the airlock as soon as you can.” The Doctor said.
“So…is Twilight gonna need a bath after all this?” asked Spike.
“Yes. Absolutely yes…” Twilight replied. “Well, I’ve got a suit protecting me, but I just…I’ll need a bath to feel clean, you know?”
"I think all of us can agree, whether on the inside or out, that we're all gonna need a good few days to work this weirdness off." Fury said as he entered the cabin of the pod.
“Not me.” The Doctor said. “I’ve got a very important meeting after this, actually! Night Fury can take a day or two off, but this is just my 1 o’ clock, typical day.”
Twilight opened the outer airlock door and got in. “Okay, phasing spell time. Tell me when to cast it.”
The Doctor maneuvered the craft into position, ramming at the rectal wall. “And…now!”
Twilight casted the spell, and the whole pod phased through in an instant.
"Woo, I felt that! Felt kinda fuzzy." Fury said.
“Unshrinking us a bit…about as much as I can do without us getting stuck.” The Doctor said.
“Eugh…I can feel the pod…can you guys hurry? It’s kind of uncomfortable feeling like I need to…you know…” Cadance said.
“Okay, I hope this is the last time I have to think about this stuff…” Fury said with an audible shudder.
“Sorry, but we are uh, just moving along!” The Doctor called back.
Twilight popped out of the airlock, then ignited her horn with a light spell as the pod navigated up through the inner sphincter into Cadance's colon, with Twilight being dragged through behind.
"Yuck, just seeing all of this is nightmare fuel enough, but of course I have to be blessed and cursed with this hearing of mine." Fury complained.
"Wait, what's so bad about what you're hearing?" Spike asked.
“I’m a big cat pony…we hear pretty well. I can hear everything that's going on in here.” Fury replied.
“Yeah, well, I don’t care how good your hearing is, you don’t get to complain about hearing it when you aren’t the one who just popped through a sphincter and have to ride a wall that nopony should ever touch!” Twilight shouted as the process began, light pulsing out her horn as it collected from the lining of the colon.
B: Magical interference levels decreasing. Warning! Activity in the colon detected!
"Oh please, for the love of Luna's mane, don’t tell me something's incoming the other way!?" Fury pleaded.
B: Analyzing… Negative, seems to be a descending column of the disturbance from Cadance's stomach.
"Oh thank the nights above!" Fury said with a sigh.
“Yeah but…what is it exactly? Should I get back inside?” Twilight asked, worried.
B: Colon fluids, including some gas, in a very turbulent motion with high magical energy. You will need to pulse out a spell when it hits, similar to before. Recommend the previous spell, attuned to a different fragrance.
"Moon Lilies maybe? Oh who am I kidding, whatever is coming is gonna wreck me!" Fury said as he trudged back into the airlock, still having the bio-suit from last time on.
"Hey! Don't go soft on me, Fury, I need you to help me out here. This is my sister-in-law's health and wellness we're dealing with here!" Twilight shouted.
“Yeah yeah…I’m nearly out there with ya…” Fury said as the airlock finished depressurizing and he reluctantly swam out. “So..is the horn really an erogenous zone…I mean, is this kinda…?”
“I really don’t wanna talk about it that way considering it’s been sticking out this whole time, and If you say one more word about that, it’s going to become an impalement zone for one of your erogenous zones…now just hold on!” Twilight barked.
Fury nodded rapidly and hugged her, putting a paw on her horn as the wave hit them, magic coursing all around them and gathering to the horn. Twilight casted the spell in a sweeping beam upwards.
“Ugh…it’s passed, but…Cadance, I wasn’t able to send it where that spell’s supposed to go.” Twilight said.
A loud burp followed by firework noises came in response.
“Well her burps are still doing weird magic, but now they smell like lavender…so I’d say you did alright.” Shining said.
“Well, that's a plus. Bagley, where are we now? Somewhere I can let go of her to get back in, maybe?" Fury asked.
B: You should notice that the tunnel has narrowed significantly… signaling that you are no longer in the large intestine, A.K.A. colon, but now the small intestine…and at your current speed, you’re a minute away from the duodenum, the gateway between the stomach and intestines…I recommend that you stay outside the craft with her, in case there are complications on reaching the stomach. The airlock system’s air replenishment is nearing its limits, as well, as it loses a small amount of air each time it is used.
"Uh… Why didn't you tell us we had a limited oxygen supply?!" Twilight yelled.
B: I figured it wasn't relevant to the mission until now. The Doctor was well aware of this limitation, and it was not necessary to further stress you.
"Right…well what's coming next, and…does it require me?" The black feline inquired.
B: The stomach is the most dangerous, and most active, location we are to visit. Up until this point, survival was virtually guaranteed. Stomach acid appears to be enhanced by the magic, however…it is uncertain without data from inside the stomach if the suits will withstand it, or for how long. You may be needed to help protect Twilight.
Spike and Shining Armor gulped.
“Wait, you mean…all of that was a cakewalk?” Fury asked as he tightened his grip on Twilight.
B: Affirmative.
"Oh sweet Celestia, save me now…" He whimpered, while Twilight patted him.
“Sorry, I’m outside and you’re just a ‘big cat’ pony…suppository up my niece…not much I can do at this point.” Celestia said with a slight chuckle.
"Not. Exactly. Helping. Sunbutt." He said through clenched teeth.
“Focus… we’ve just hit the duodenum, I’m slowing us down…” The Doctor said. “Now…the magical energy here will clearly turn you two into fried chicken if we try what we did before so…”
"So, what do we do, then?" Fury pressed.
“Perhaps we can coax the stomach acid to release the energy on its own…into a colossal burp of magic.” The Doctor pondered.
B: Calculating… that will indeed work, if Twilight can simply stir things up with the tip of her horn. Night Fury will need to help by gathering bubbles towards her. The resulting ‘colossal burp’ will make the room and much of the hospital smell of lavender for approximately 3 days.
"I've already got an idea. Twilight, you do your horn stirring thing… I think it's time to show you my transformations…and at full force."
“Transformations?” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow.
“You’ll see.” Fury replied.
"Alright you two, this is it, the final stretch. You get this done, and we'll all be home free." Cadance said, her voice more booming with the proximity to her vocal cords.
“Ready to enter the stomach?” The Doctor asked.
“Yeah!” They both shouted as they held onto each other tightly, ready to finally put this adventure to rest.