Pinkie Pie sat still in her apartment. The ends of her forelegs were pressed together and her eyes were closed. Sitting in a circle around her were joss sticks in incense burners. Each of the sticks were burning and a pale smoke drifted around the room. The pink pony took in a deep breath taking in the scent. A single syllable left her mouth as the smell entered her lungs.
*
When Pinkie opened her eyes, she was standing in what looked like a meeting room. A white sash with the word “consciousness” written on it was over her chest. Her eyes moved around the room looking for a place to sit. All around her were ponies who looked nearly identical to her. Each of them had some form of variation to their physical appearance as well as a different coloured sash. Pinkie walked to the head of the table and sat down.
“Order!” she said. “This introspective meeting will come to order!” The other Pinkies found a seat and joined her at the table.
“Glad you could all make it,” she continued. “We will now go over the notes of the last session. Who was the stenographer for that session?”
“I was,” a pink hoof was in the air. Attached to the hoof was a pink pony with a dark poofy pink mane and tail. Around her chest was a blue sash with the word “contentment” written on it. She stood up and cleared her throat. “So, here’s what happened last meeting: nothing of importance. And I’m okay with that.”
“Very good,” the Pinkie at the head of the table said. “What have we accomplished recently?”
“I punched a manticore in the face!” an orange sashed Pinkie yelled. The words “hot-blooded” were written on her sash. “It was awesome!”
“Yes, and you left me to deal with that,” a dark gray sashed Pinkie said. On her sash was the word “disgust”. “Thanks for that by the way. I hated every moment of it chasing me.”
“But it was for a good cause!” a smiling yellow sashed Pinkie said. “You have to look at the bright side of things, Disgust. Otherwise, you’ll be frowning all the time, and that’s not fun.”
“And I suppose I should take a cue from you, Joy?” she asked.
“Well, maybe not from me, maybe Contentment would be a better pony to look up to first. Afterwards, then me, and then you’ll be happy!”
“I highly doubt that. And I don’t think I’ll follow Contentment’s example.”
“And I’m perfectly okay with that.” A cough at the head brought all of the Pinkies' attention to it.
“We’re missing the point here,” she said. “So we punched a manticore to save our friends. That’s a good thing, it led to a party…”
“Which was fun!” Joy interrupted.
“Yes, which was very fun. But we’re only focusing on the happy things. Life isn’t composed of only positive things; it’s a balance between negative and positive. What have we done to balance the scales? Envy, anything to report?” A green sashed Pinkie stood up.
“We’re jealous,” she said. All of the Pinkies smacked their forehead.
“Thank you, Captain Obvious,” a carmine sashed Pinkie said. “What tidbit of knowledge are you going to share with us next? Are you going to tell us that Sadness is sad? That Fear is afraid? Or how about how Thanatos over there wants us to destroy everything in sight?”
“No need to be sarcastic, Exasperation,” the green sashed Pinkie replied. “I wasn’t finished. I was talking with Love a few days ago. And I think we have a… well not really a problem, but something.”
“And that would be?”
“We’re jealous of Rainbow Dash.” All of the Pinkies murmured to each other.
“Why would we be jealous of Rainbow Dash?” a purple sashed Pinkie asked. “It doesn’t make any sense.” A pink sashed Pinkie stood up. Her pupils were in the shape of tiny hearts and a smile was on her face.
“Funny,” she said. “Logic, you don’t seem to be doing a very good job at being logical. Use Occam’s razor and the answer will be obvious.”
“We want Twilight don’t we?” Consciousness asked. Both Envy and the pink sashed pony nodded. Consciousness rubbed her eyes. “Great, this complicates things. Love, what do you suggest we do?”
“Simple,” she said. “It’s obvious that if we want Twilight, we’ll have to go through Rainbow Dash. But since Rainbow Dash is our friend, and also very attractive, we’ll have to win her over as well. In other words, we’ll have to seduce both Twilight and Rainbow Dash simultaneously.” Silence was in the room full of Pinkies.
“Do I get to punch somepony or something?” Hot-blooded asked.
“Since it’s Rainbow Dash, I think we need to do something physical. You’ll be in charge of that.” Love responded. A lecherous grin appeared on her face. “We don’t even have to do anything! We can just sit there watching her perform her stunts. And we’ll have a great view of…”
“I’d prefer you didn’t finish that thought,” Disgust said. “In fact, if you do, I will personally send you to the special place in Tartarus reserved for child molesters and ponies who talk in the theater. I did it with Lust, I can do it with you too.”
“Dually noted,” Love turned her attention to Logic. “You, you need to come up with a plan so we can capture Twilight’s heart.”
“I can do that,” Logic said. She looked to the head of the table. “I’m going to need immediate control after the meeting.”
“Granted,” Consciousness said. “Anything else anypony needs to say?” Joy stood up with a smile still on her face.
“I thought of twelve new pastry recipes!” she said. “I thought of prices, names, and how we can market them at Sugar Cube Corner! We should make them as soon as possible!”
“You and I can talk about that while Logic is planning,” Consciousness said. “Right, meeting adjourned. Logic, take control, I need to talk with Joy.” All of the Pinkies stood from their seats and had conversations with one another. Logic walked to the exit of the room and pushed her way past the door.
*
Pinkie opened her eyes. The joss sticks had reached their bottoms and were no longer burning. Smoke was still lingering in the room. She stood up from her place and walked to a nearby window. She opened it allowing the smoke to find its way outside. Atop a desk just under the window was a blank sheet of paper and a fountain pen. Pinkie took the fountain pen and began writing details of a plan. After a few moments, the sound of approaching footsteps echoed in her mind. She stopped writing and looked up from her paper.
OH! Can I name the plan? Can I? Can I? Can I?
Joy, what are you doing here? I thought you were talking with Consciousness.
I was, but I wanted to name this plan.
Fine, what have you got for me?
Call it: Operation OT3!
…
What?
Why that name?
I don’t know, I heard Muse use the phrase “OT3” while she was planning a song. It just sounded catchy.
I like it. Sure, we can use that for the plan.
Yay! Thanks Logic. I’ll see you later.
Pinkie could hear the sound of receding footsteps. She shook her head and returned to the paper. The fountain pen was picked up and the phrase “Operation OT3” was written at the top of the page. She smiled at the words and continued writing.