"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Starlight mumbled as she and Trixie cleared the last few buildings in Ponyville and soon trotted onto the sidewalk leading to the superstore on the outskirts of Ponyville. Hay-Mart had only recently expanded from Fillydelphia and Manehattan to central Equestria, and it was still relatively novel to Ponyville's residents, as evidenced by the line ahead of them. Starlight groaned at the sight.
"You don't say?" Trixie inquired sarcastically, giving Starlight an unamused frown as they saw the line slowly, painfully inch forward to allow another desperate shopper to retrieve the items they needed.
Despite the impressive bulk of the department store's building total size, it seemed to be stuffed to the brim, almost ready to burst and spill its figurative guts onto the street and sidewalk. Its dull grey edifices seemed to sap any and all life from the area, which made its bright blue trim all the more garish.
A couple of attendants, or at least what Starlight assumed to be attendants, stood by the doors, checking shoppers' bags as they left. Although they were a good distance away, Starlight could imagine their dull, lifeless expressions, as betrayed by their slouched postures and ponderous movements. That alone was probably holding up the line more than it should.
Everypony ahead of them looked to be as equally as frigid as she and Trixie. Despite everypony being bundled from head to hoof, they were all huddled close together to keep their individual body heat as effective as possible. Conversely, while she and Trixie were only wearing light clothing, her warmth spell was doing the trick, for the most part.
When the wind wasn't blowing hard, they were probably much more comfortable than anypony else in the line. But, of course, the wind was blustering rather consistently at the moment. Whenever it did, it'd slice into the thin, invisible heat shield and blast them with icy tendrils that sent shivers down their spines.
Every time there was a gust, Trixie would gleefully remind Starlight when she complained that she was the one insistent on trying the spell. Although she had not been fully ready to depart when Starlight dragged her out of the castle, she was bundled up a bit better than Starlight. Every time she snuggled into her scarf with a smirk as the wind bit into Starlight's fur caused Starlight to more seriously consider covering her with a cold spell. And a sound dampening one to silence the inevitable yelps.
Sighing and hanging her head, Starlight mumbled, "We'll never get inside in time!" She heard a few ponies ahead of her grumbling and griping, and she leaned over and craned her neck to try and see what was causing the ruckus. Leaning forward slightly, she stumbled when the pony ahead of her abruptly moved a couple of feet as whoever was next in line was finally allowed into Hay-Mart.
After dusting herself off, she furrowed her brow as she saw a couple of ponies, a middle-aged mare and a young filly, trudging out of the exit. It didn't take long for Starlight to recognize Spoiled Rich and Diamond Tiara, since the former held her head high and mighty, like she owned the entire store.
Diamond was saddled with two massive bags filled to the brim with what looked to be various cosmetic products. At the distance, Starlight couldn't quite tell the exact contents, but she could guess they were heavy, given how much they dragged on the ground as Diamond desperately struggled to haul them behind her mother.
With a final yank, she did manage to leave enough of a gap that the line began to move more freely, and Starlight breathed a sigh of relief as the pace quickened. As Diamond's bags crossed a wide, metal tower with a small crystal, the crystal began to flash a bright red and a shrill beeping filled the air. A couple of ponies ahead of Starlight groaned, and she herself flattened her ears against her head.
Trixie just sighed and conjured up some earmuffs.
Spinning around, Spoiled Rich glared disappointedly at Diamond for a second, and while Starlight couldn't hear what was exchanged, she could take a good guess. "What did you do?!" she imagined Spoiled demanding, and she rolled her eyes as the older mare whipped her head around as one of the attendants near the door approached her.
With the shrill siren, she couldn't make out much until the line got closer, but she did see Spoiled's face turn a brighter crimson as the attendant spoke with her. After a couple of seconds, she puffed out her cheeks and jabbed a hoof back at Diamond, who shot a bemused frown at her mother.
Getting closer to the trio of ponies, Starlight managed to hear Spoiled as the device finally deactivated, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
"Princess Celestia, ma'am?" the young attendant snarked as she smacked on some bubblegum and blew a large bubble. It expanded for a couple of seconds before exploding in Spoiled's face.
With a snort, Spoiled quipped, "No! Although if she had asked me for advice, Equestria would be a lot better off."
"Mommy…" Diamond sighed, tiredly smacking a hoof to her face. "Can't you just let her check the bags for the—"
"No!" Spoiled barked back, vitriol in her eyes as she focused quickly on Diamond before she switched her anger back to the attendant. The attendant just shrugged and fiddled with the keys she had on her uniform. "My husband is the wealthiest pony in town! He has enough influence with the mayor that he could get you all fired for this!"
Diamond merely groaned, but she noticed Starlight as she and Trixie came closer, and her face lit up. While Starlight really hadn't interacted with the Rich's daughter much, she did know from Apple Bloom and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders that Diamond had turned over a new leaf a while ago. She could relate.
At this point, she could see that the bags that had been placed solely on Diamond were laden with mane dyes, split evenly between the two purple tones that comprised Spoiled's hair. Inwardly, Starlight mused, "I knew that it wasn't natural!"
"Ma'am, just let me check for the item that was missed when scanning and you can be on your way after you pay," the attendant huffed before she blew another bubble. Her short ponytail bobbled slightly as she inhaled the bubble and chewed.
"Everything was properly categorized," Spoiled sniffed with derision. "I should know, because I was keep careful track of—"
"Actually, Mommy, I think they did miss one of them," Diamond interjected, which earned a rueful glower from Spoiled.
"See?" the attendant inquired. "It'll be simple and quick."
As a small gust of cold wind blew through the line, the young mare started to trot toward Diamond when Spoiled threw up a hoof and blocked her. "Hooves off!" Spoiled barked. "Don't make me speak to my husband and get you in trouble! He knows the store owner!"
"He doesn't," Diamond mumbled, which caused Spoiled's expression to twist into a furious scowl. Starlight chuckled lightly.
The noise caught Spoiled's attention, and when she glanced in Starlight's direction, the rage-filled snarl suddenly melted away and she smiled happily. "Oh! Miss Glimmer! How pleasant to see you again!" She chortled and started to saunter up to Starlight.
"Great…" Starlight thought as she suppressed a moan. However, she didn't manage to keep from rolling her eyes, although Spoiled didn't indicate she noticed Starlight's irritation. If there was an Equestria Games sport for being a busybody, Spoiled would have been the MVP.
Resisting the urge to be too snarky, Starlight instead forced a razor-thin smile on her muzzle and stated, "Hello, Spoiled. I see you're busy doing… whatever it is you're doing." Starlight grunted as a mare pushed past her and Trixie, grumbling under her breath about the hold-up they were causing.
Peeking back at Diamond, who was now aiding the attendant with finding the missed can of mane dye, Spoiled grinned a bit too sincerely, "Oh! You mean this! I just have to keep those workers in line! They seem to think they run the place."
"Actually, they do." Trixie snorted and put her conjured earmuffs back on her head. "That is all Trixie will say."
The two of them stared at Trixie for a moment, then Starlight quipped, "Are you buying for the old ponies' home? I've never seen so much mane dye in one place."
Spoiled blushed for a second, and stammered a few times before finally blowing a faint raspberry and waving a hoof dismissively. "Well," she sputtered, "it was just that these were on sale, and, well, I have to touch up my highlights every now and again." She beamed. "And Diamond was so helpful for coming along."
Peering over at Diamond, who had apparently paid for the extra item and rested the two bags on her sides again, Starlight arched a brow inquisitively and hummed, "Right." As Spoiled's grin widened a bit more, Starlight declared, "I think you could help your daughter a bit, don't you think?"
"Ach!" Spoiled exclaimed, glancing every which way but at Starlight. "W-Well, you see, I might have a few grey hairs here and there—I'm getting more mature, you see—and all this walking around the store has tired me out." Blowing loudly through her lips, she wiped at her forehead, which wasn't perspiring at all, and she tittered lightly. "Besides, isn't Diamond being so generous? That's one of your school's tenets, yes?"
"I know that speaking honestly is also important, and honestly, Spoiled, you're just using Diamond so you don't have to work as hard." Starlight nickered and approached Spoiled, who took a couple of steps back. Ignoring some of the other ponies who walked past her, since she broke from her spot in line, Starlight added, "And honestly, you were the worst headmare candidate of them all!"
"Well, I never!" Spoiled huffed and angled her head derisively at Starlight and started poking her mane. "I can feel you adding more grey hairs as we speak, Miss Glimmer!" She gave an overly dramatic sigh and whimpered, "And I'm getting faint from all this exertion."
"I think you can at least afford to help carry the bags back," Starlight jabbed as she grabbed one of the bags in her magic and floated it onto Spoiled's back. She huffed as Spoiled immediately bucked it off. "And I don't think that your little 'I'm so weak and tired' routine could fool anypony! Even Trixie!"
"It did, actually," Trixie interjected quietly before she gave an anxious giggle at Starlight's unamused frown.
"But I am just so exhausted at the end of every day!" Spoiled declared, puffing out her cheeks and ignoring the glower from Diamond. "Don't you know how hard it is to be me? Keeping the Rich household together? It's so difficult!"
"You're slowing down the line!" somepony from behind Starlight cried, and Spoiled glowered in his direction.
"I'm trying to explain my situation! Be patient!" she barked back, a small scowl twisting onto her face. It quickly reverted to a pained, plaintive look as she focused again on Starlight.
As Starlight was about to retort, Trixie popped up beside her and exclaimed, "While Trixie is very sure that Starlight would love to talk more about your lovely new mane style, Trixie has a couple of show props to find inside after she accidentally animated some in her last show, and Starlight promised to help." With a wide, apologetic smile, she chirped, "So… bye!" Yanking on Starlight, she pulled her friend a few feet away, and then let out a sigh as Spoiled snorted at the interruption before storming off.
Starlight still managed to place a bag on Spoiled's back, and used a temporary spell to keep it attached. She stuck out her tongue as Spoiled glared back before Starlight wriggled out of Trixie's grip and waltzed toward the entrance.
Smirking a bit, Starlight released the heat spell and felt the warmth of the forced air of the entrance beat onto her fur. The noise of ponies yammering at each other, the rattle of carts turning into different lanes, and the rhythmic dinging of bit registers resonated throughout the superstore. Although a bit of a cacophony, it wasn't to the point of drowning out all thought, and Starlight turned to Trixie.
"Thanks, Trix," she stated before giving her a grateful hug. "I probably would have gotten the whole routine about being the best vice-headmare candidate." A small giggle-snort escaped her lips.
"Maybe don't thank Trixie yet," Trixie replied as she pushed Starlight away and pointed to the rows upon rows of ponies that were waiting to enter the chaos that awaited them on the floor of Hay-Mart. From what Starlight could see, it was a veritable wall of bodies that ponies had to push into to even hope of getting to whatever they were wanting to buy.
Near the ceiling, over what she believed to be part of the produce aisle, a couple of pegasi in blue aprons watched the sea of bodies with concern. Although their uniforms had a large, grinning sun on the front, they appeared anything but happy. Both were doing their best to avoid being accidentally snagged by any passerby's cart, or walloped by large boxes that were sticking out of some customer's trolleys.
They were balancing in their hooves what looked to be crates of apples or oranges. Quickly jabbering between each other, they pointed at the floor like they were planning how to land.
Starlight could guess why. With such an insane number of ponies, they risked being trampled just by flying nearby.
Suddenly, she and Trixie were knocked from the other end as a couple of new customers were allowed entrance. Trixie squawked in surprise as she tipped forward and smacked her face into the floor. She twitched for a second or two before she finally spluttered and pushed herself back up.
Starlight, meanwhile, was shoved ahead and managed to grab hold of a cart's handle, and hung on as she regained her balance. Wrapping one hoof around the cart tighter, she pulled and felt it try to go in two different directions. She glanced over and saw that she was currently staring at a wizened old pony, whose mane was done up in curlers.
Both of them gawked at each other for a second, and then Starlight furrowed her brow. With a furious tug, she started to shift the cart in her direction, but then the elderly pony yanked back. Surprisingly, there was a decent amount of force behind it, and Starlight nearly lost her grip and stumbled back.
However, she was blocked from collapsing because she smacked into the chest of another pony, who had also attached a hoof to the cart and was tugging in her own direction. Another followed suit after that, and soon it was half a dozen different ponies who all were vying for the cart to be theirs.
"Is this the only cart left in the bucking place?!" Starlight wondered to herself as some sweat trickled down her forehead. The elderly mare leered at her and gave a menacing chuckle. Slowly, she reached out her free hoof and wiggled her mouth a bit. After a couple of seconds, she slipped out her dentures and held them in her hoof.
As Starlight's stomach churned at the action, the mare cackled and then manipulated the dentures as she reached over with her hoof. In a smooth action, she made the dentures bite down on Starlight's fetlock with an impressive amount of strength, and Starlight yelped as she was forced to let go.
Sliding down onto her rump, Starlight saw the coot repeat the process on each of her challengers until she was the sole remaining customer holding the cart. She placed the dentures back in her mouth, wiggled them a bit, and then stuck out her tongue. "Ain't lost a cart battle yet," she huffed, then pushed the cart free from its small docking station and bolted off.
Groggily getting to her hooves, Starlight felt the welt that was beginning to grow on her fetlock. She asked herself softly, "All that for a cart?" She whimpered and gently stepped away, dejectedly sighing as she searched for Trixie. In the chaos of the other ponies getting in, she had lost her friend.
In a couple of seconds, she heard a cart roll up beside her, and Trixie stated, "Trixie has found a cart, Starlight." Starlight whirled around and gawked at Trixie, who was calmly standing at the back of a shopping cart and giving Starlight a confused eyebrow raise. "It looks like you got bitten by a timberwolf."
Starlight chuckled. "Not quite, but probably just as vicious."
Staring at the mass of ponies in the outside portion of the aisles, Trixie asked, "Maybe, just this once, you could use a mind control spell? Make ponies let you through?" Trixie winked. "Wink."
Leveling Trixie with an unamused scowl, Starlight groaned. She mumbled, "You know that if Twilight finds out I did something like that again, I'd probably have to spend a year writing 'I will not mind control ponies' again, right?"
"But it'd be worth it if Sunburst gets his special dinner," Trixie retorted with a small chuckle. When Starlight sighed and moaned again, she winked once more at Starlight. "Wink."
"Ugh." Sticking out her tongue, Starlight rubbed the sore spot again. Some of the slime from the mare's dentures had started to matt on her fur, and she shuddered at how much she'd have to scrub to get it out. She turned her attention to finding a break in the crowd of ponies that filled the Hay-Mart. It seemed like there was no end in sight to the wall of flesh that swamped the floor, yet there had to be a way in.
Pondering for a second, she glanced to the left and to the right, searching for any potential gap to barrel into. It wasn't like they could go to another aisle either, because there were just as many ponies jamming them as they were in the produce area.
As the seconds ticked down, and Trixie nonchalantly hummed offkey to the chipper Hearth's Warming music that was playing in the store, Starlight's left eye started to twitch. A small, furious growl built in her throat as she switched her gaze to every possible location they could get through. Finally, she spotted a small gap in the line for a number of quickly cookable appetizers, and she screamed, "Go!"
Darting for the gap, she heard Trixie yelp and suddenly take off after her, and she dove forward. Shoving her forelegs forward and pushing to get enough room to butt in, she was nearly crushed between the bodies. she managed to push through, though, and only poked somepony once in the hindquarters with her horn. She narrowly avoided being bucked by the pony's hindlegs in response, but the pony behind her wasn't so lucky.
With an undignified yelp, a brown mare went flying through the air and landed back in the cart section. Barely audible over the din of ponies, a scratchy colt's voice cried, "Yeah, Mom! Best way to practice for EBA 1009!" A second later, said colt shot through the air too, his propellor beanie spinning violently. He at least appeared to have done it under his own volition, somehow.
As he descended, he started to scream, as he apparently misjudged the angle and bounced once off the side of a cart and smacked headfirst into the floor. Starlight couldn't see much after that, but she heard him cry, "Oh hey! A bit!"
Squeezing through some more ponies, Starlight suddenly popped out of the crowd and into an almost dead aisle. She wheezed a couple of times as her lungs screamed for air and did a careful three-sixty of her surroundings to watch for any unannounced ponies bumping into her. After she made sure the coast was clear, she swiped some sweat from her brow, and she tried to brush down her mane, which had gotten more frazzled due to the tight quarters.
No matter how much she pressed it back, even with a small application of magic to it, it refused to stay back down correctly. With a tired shrug, she winced at the pain in her fetlock, then called, "Trixie?!"
As if to answer her, Trixie emerged from the crowd, almost as if she could part it through presence alone, and she gave a small bow. Miraculously, her cloak was unscathed.
Snorting at Trixie's overly dramatic entrance, Starlight huffed as she stated, "It's like all of Ponyville is trying to keep us out." She rubbed her chin in contemplation. "Or really more than all of Ponyville. Where'd all these ponies come from?" It wasn't like Ponyville was a big place. Maybe a couple of thousand inhabitants, if that. Probably it was an overestimate, but she swore there had to have been at least that many in the store alone.
"Maybe they're from Sunset's world?" Trixie suggested with a quick shrug. "But then they'd be all panicking, wouldn't they? Their things being pony things, and all that." She hummed thoughtfully. "Say, Starlight. When are you going to take Trixie on a tour of Sunset's world? She wants to try an 'intelligent phone'." She flexed her forehooves, while leaning forward a bit and giving Starlight a pleading, plaintive look.
"Smartphone," Starlight corrected, swishing her tail back and forth in irritation before she rotated around and faced down the aisle. Glancing over her back, she quipped, "And probably never. I'd have to arrange with Sunset to send their Trixie over at the same time. There's no way they could handle two Trixies there at once."
"Aw, and I was wanting to get my autograph," Trixie whined as she hung her head. "And Trixie signing it for herself doesn't count!"
As she was about to argue, Starlight scrunched her muzzle up in thought and then shook her head. The last thing she needed was two Trixie's complimenting each other while referring to themselves as "Trixie."
"Trixie is sure that the other Trixie wouldn't cause trouble while Trixie is there!" her friend exclaimed hopefully. With an almost puppy dog-like pout, she flashed Starlight one more begging glance, and Starlight simply shook her head.
"Remember the bright idea you had with Celestia's horn? Making it disappear?" Starlight growled as Trixie nodded, without any apparent sign of regret. "Remember how you were found out and nearly thrown in jail because of it? Especially after you had trouble recalling how to reverse it?" Trixie still appeared unphased. Gritting her teeth and staring up at the ceiling for a second, Starlight growled, "Do you really think two Trixies potentially putting their heads together for their 'greatest trick of all time' is a smart idea?"
"It was just a parlor trick, Starlight," Trixie chimed back, closing her eyes happily as she giggled at the memory. "It didn't hurt anypony."
"You literally turned Celestia into a pegasus for half a day!" Starlight exclaimed, gesturing wildly at Trixie with her forehooves. "And then you wanted to keep her horn!"
"It was going to be a nice souvenir, or Trixie could have used it as a toothpick." Trixie shrugged again, staring wistfully off into the distance and sighing. "Good times," she mumbled, which only caused Starlight to smack a hoof to her face.
Thankfully the pain of a hoof connecting with her muzzle kept Starlight from immediately giving into her frustration. Still, Starlight kept her hoof there for a moment, waiting for her face to finally revert to a calm, collected, and not at all so angry it'd make Chrysalis jealous. She pulled on her nose for a second, then sighed. Staring tiredly at Trixie, she simply mumbled, "Right, well, let's just get this over with."
Starting off at a slow trot, she glanced at her hastily scribbled list that she had made up in the short time they had taken to get to Hay-Mart. She might have also been at points keeping herself from breaking down into a nervous wreck that would have put the likes of Twilight to shame, too. Squinting a bit at the chicken scratch hornwriting, she finally huffed as she made out the first item.
Appetizers. That was all she wrote. That was an obvious start. But what could she get? She could see that this section of the aisle was already picked clean, so things like vegetable trays and nachos and dip were already gone. Granted, there had to be more options, but would it be something that Sunburst liked?
Moaning in resignation, she hung her head and slowly checked each shelf, pleading for them to still hold something that could be used. Of course, she came up empty, and by the tenth item that should have been there, she was beginning to sense that the hunt for food might not have been as straightforward as she thought.
"Maybe this was a bad idea..." she thought to herself as she listened to Trixie continue to hum and whistle to the music playing in the store. At the very least, the relative quietness of this section allowed her mind to calm down, if only a smidge.
As Trixie started to get louder with the next Hearth's Warming song, Starlight grated her teeth at the singalong. One of her ears twitched as Trixie missed the note entirely and cried, "Filly it's cold outside!" Starlight whipped her head around to see Trixie bopping to the beat of the song, happily following Starlight without a care in the world.
"Be nice if I could be so carefree right now," she mused tiredly as she reached the frozen appetizers section. Halting her train of thought, she stared at the single, remaining box of anything in the entire aisle. A logo caught her eye, hidden partly behind ice that had built up on the box. She used a bit of magic to swipe away the ice, and she saw it was a single container of sweet potato pierogies. They weren't her first choice, but they would be suitably fancy enough for a romantic New Year's Eve meal.
Gazing up at the ceiling, she silently thanked Celestia before she galloped toward the freezer that held her prize when she heard a voice exclaim, "Oh! Pierogies!" Before Starlight could come to a halt, the freezer door flung open, and she smacked into the glass.
"Ow," she griped internally.
As she peeled herself off, she saw a blue unicorn with a white and dark blue mane staring at the box. The unicorn was reading the cooking instructions when Trixie, who was still humming to the song, blithely bumped into the mare with her cart. Gasping, the unicorn dropped the box to the floor.
In that moment, Starlight squeaked in glee and powered her horn to grab hold of the box. At the same time, the blue unicorn took it as well, and it hung suspended in the air as their two levitation spells fought against each other. Suddenly, Starlight recognized the pony. "Colgate," she growled, narrowing her eyes at the dentist.
"Glimmer," Colgate snarled back, pawing at the ground a couple of times. "You haven't gotten your teeth checked since last year." She grimaced. "They must be disgusting." With a harsh pull, she almost broke the pierogi box free from Starlight's grasp.
"I didn't come back because you drilled into my gum!" Starlight cried as she gave a strong tug and dragged Colgate a foot or so forward. "You nearly caused me to bleed out!"
"Because you were squirming!" Colgate snapped back, renewing her efforts to relieve the pierogi box of its current owner. "And I told you not to!"
"Maybe don't use a giant drill!" Starlight countered as she ignored Trixie's bemused back-and-forth motions to follow the bickering pair. Starlight strained and started to literally peel Colgate's magic from the box, the extreme effort of moving another pony's magic sapping her reserves of energy. Her horn sparked a couple of times as it started to glow brighter from her increased output.
"The drill bit is only half a foot long!" Colgate screamed while sweat trickled down her muzzle. She eyed the pierogies longingly. "And you had a cavity!"
"Just. Remove. It. With. MAGIC!" Starlight bellowed back. With a final groan, she managed to shove the last bits of Colgate's magic field off the box, and she went stumbling backward before falling onto her rump. However, she held onto the pierogi box, and she joyfully cheered. Colgate staggered into her cart, and then snarled at Starlight.
"You win this time, Glimmer," she growled. "But don't expect any anesthetic the next time you have to get your teeth fixed."
Starlight just stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry as Colgate huffed and shoved her cart past Trixie. Keeping the expression of derision for a moment longer, Starlight pumped the air once with a hoof and then dropped the box into Trixie's cart.
Trixie just stared at Starlight, completely bored. "Was it worth it?" she finally asked, earning an emphatic nod from Starlight.
"Serves her right for criticizing my teeth," Starlight huffed. "There's a reason why I use a cleaning spell every day on them." She flashed her pearly whites, and Trixie uninterestedly bobbed her head in agreement. "Now let's find the next item!" she exclaimed with a slight whoop. "Uh..." Pulling out the list, she squinted and mumbled, "Vines? Oh, wine. Wine!"
Trixie huffed and followed after her friend as Starlight glibly bounced down the aisle, her hooves clip-clopping loudly on the tiled floor. This time, Starlight was the one humming along to the Hearth's Warming music, although she was confident that she was keeping her tune perfectly, unlike Trixie.
Now that she had at least one item ticked off her list, there was hope that she'd be able to get the rest in time for her to make it as a surprise for Sunburst tonight. She sang softly along, making a turn once they got to the end of the aisle and then freezing when she observed the mass of ponies, again seemingly congregating along the perimeter of the shopping area for the Hay-Mart.
If she was just going to grab some fresh bread or the like, she'd have no issue, but it seemed like there were a number around the deli area, where she had hoped to find something nice that could be broiled, as well as near much of the frozen food and fresh hay product areas.
Basically, wherever she specifically wanted to go, fate had decided that it would play a joke on her. She threw her arms in the air in disgust, moaning once or twice in frustration as she searched for her next chosen location. There was only a small alcohol section in this Hay-Mart, if she remembered right. Partly that was because of the preference for the Apples' cider products instead.
After craning her neck, she caught the sign for the drinks section, and then she motioned for Trixie to follow her. Trixie let out a confused hum and then quickly trotted behind her, wheeling the cart along. Starlight barely noticed as Trixie floated in a small package of cracker snack packets and licked her lips. Also, as they passed the canned aisle, Trixie snatched a large bottle of peanut butter and plopped it in.
Since Starlight was laser-focused on the drinks aisle, she dove into the crowd that had amassed to grab something to give them a buzz. After a bit of force, she managed to again pop through, stumbling out and into a relatively clear stretch of the hallway. Only a couple of ponies were perusing some barren shelves with maybe some imported cans of cider, which looked absolutely pathetic compared to the care and artistry the Apples provided with their own stock.
Mumbling quietly to herself, Starlight counted off the rows, eventually finding where the wine section started, and she beelined straight for it. Trixie finally emerged from the chaos behind her with a gag, and then stared momentarily at the cans of cider that were left before bolting after Starlight.
Lightly skidding on her hooves, Starlight scanned the almost completely empty shelving, whimpering to herself, "No, no, no!" How was she supposed to make a romantic date if there wasn't any wine?! Never mind that their first date didn't have any of that. Now that they were a thing, she had to go all out!
Biting her lip and swiveling her head this way and that, Starlight finally whinnied excitedly, as she spotted a small number of bottles near the far end of the aisle. Galloping over, she began to quickly sort through them. "Canterlot Ruby. Manehattan Popfizzle. Vanhoover 'Ling Grove..." Starlight slowly read them out, checking their descriptions to see what would match her taste the best, let alone Sunburst's.
Deciphering the fancy explanations of the flavor profiles started to make her head spin. Flowery, earthy, musky, tart, dry, sweet, hints of honey, overtones of smoke, it was all hard to take in, especially given that some of the cheapest ones claimed the most powerful tastes.
While she wasn't exactly sure of what to grab, she knew that if it was inexpensive, it was probably horrible. So, putting a bottle of Crystal Empire Glass back in its spot, she stared at the single bottle of Griffenheim Rot that stood on its own at the top of the shelving. She shuddered at the price tag, but spinning it around, she read some of the description of its aromas.
It was much simpler, but they seemed all right.
She placed it back on the shelf. Was it really worth the seventy bits it was asking, though? That'd make it almost the entire cost of her trip out here.
Tapping her hooves on the floor as she pondered, she heard Trixie declare, "You could just get a few of Flim and Flam's Definitely Original Squeezy Cider." To emphasize, she held up the six-pack of the cider, which had a picture of the two unicorns knocking back a can each. There was some small print she couldn't quite make out on the bottom of the cans. Something about not being a stolen recipe or the like.
"That's pretty low-brow, Trixie," Starlight replied with a sigh. "I don't even think he likes cider."
"Well, does he like anything?" Trixie retorted with a snort. Placing the cider cans back on the shelf, she shrugged. "Trixie isn't sure. To her, he doesn't seem to be very much into this." She waved her hooves at the shelves.
"Well, I mean, I suppose, maybe," Starlight stuttered, and for the briefest moment, her visions of a wonderful evening shattered at Trixie's questions. "But, well, I am not really a wine connoisseur either, so there's always a time to start?" With a small, nervous chuckle, she scratched the back of her head as Trixie gave her a miffed eyebrow raise.
"Sure..."
"Honestly, it's fine. I'm sure we'll both have a glass, be happy with it, and then leave the rest for later." Without looking back, Starlight cast a quick levitation spell and grappled the bottle of Griffenheim Rot. As she pulled it down, it teetered a bit in her magic as the minor griffon enchantments in the bottle partly interfered with the spell. Without warning, she felt a hoof tug in the opposite direction, and she whipped her head around.
Staring at Starlight, a hungry, insatiable look of desire in her eyes, was Berry Punch. Everypony knew Berry. And everypony knew to not get in her way of her choice of drink. Ever.
"Great..." Starlight grumped internally as she saw Berry's slightly flushed face grow a brighter red of frustration. Berry gave another yank, and Starlight held on tightly. There was no way anypony was going to get between her and her plans for a perfect evening with Sunburst.
"Let go, Berry," Starlight declared calmly, hearing Trixie start to wander away from the two of them as Berry's expression turned a bit dourer. "I was here first; I chose this first. It's mine."
Softly, to the point of almost being impossible to hear over the noise of the rest of the customers in the store, Berry hissed, "This is the last one in Ponyville. I. Need. It!" She pulled harder. "New Year's Party tonight. My place. By myself! All of it. Mine!"
Starlight braced against the earth pony's strength as it strained her remaining magic reserves further, and she groaned, "It'll be perfect for my date with Sunburst!"
"Find another drink!" Berry retorted, and then grabbed a different bottle from the shelf. "Here!" Whipping it with enough force that it faintly blurred from the speed, she sent it careening toward Starlight, who only managed to duck because she anticipated the action. As the wine bottle soared over her head, she heard it shatter behind her, and she was suddenly splashed on her hindlegs by the fermented drink.
"Are you crazy?!" Starlight demanded, although she already knew the answer. Everypony in this bloody town was crazy. There was always something that was making her realize that. Today it was nearly being decked by the town alcoholic.
Berry didn't reply, instead, she grabbed another bottle and revved it up for a swing. Starlight's eyes widened, and she instinctually summoned a shield that blocked the glass from getting near her. Not the wine, though, as the shield collapsed after being struck. She spluttered and coughed as the liquid flew everywhere and soaked her.
Mane now clinging to her neck and wine dribbling into her nose and mouth, she spat, "Why is everypony so violent today?!"
"This is the last store open for New Year's!" Berry screamed, pulling ever harder on Starlight's bottle. Horn sparking with the effort, Starlight managed to continue to hang onto the wine, but she felt the spell field beginning to fizzle. Desperately searching for something to use to get Berry off, she gasped when she turned in time to see one more bottle coming straight for her face.
She ducked, barely, the glass shattering as it hit the shelf. A few shards bounced off a hastily constructed shield. Another shower of wine dribbled through some of the cracks that formed on it, and she was effectively a walking vineyard by the end of the glass pelting it. With her hooves now wet and slippery, she struggled to hold onto the bottle.
Berry smirked as she started to wiggle it out of Starlight's grasp when Starlight heard Trixie cry, "Hey, Berry! Trixie suggests these instead!" Berry jerked her head to the side to look in Trixie's direction, and a whizzing case of cider slammed directly into her muzzle. With a squawk, she stumbled back before falling flat on her back, the case still in the middle of her face. She groaned once before falling unconscious.
Blinking away the stinging wine, Starlight slowly wiped her forehead, then powered her horn. She floated the bottle of Griffenheim Rot over to the cart, and she mumbled, "Thanks, Trix."
"Trixie is beginning to agree with Starlight's first assessment," Trixie answered as she poked Berry's form once. Seeing that she was only knocked out, Trixie let out a small sigh of relief. Glancing up at Starlight, she quipped, "Maybe somepony can make a new wine from this." She prodded Starlight's wet mane. "Vive la Glimmer." She snickered at her joke, but Starlight just cringed.
Licking her lips, Starlight briefly caught a taste of one of the wines and its overly sour flavor. She shivered, then cast a quick spell to dry her off and squeeze all the excess liquid out of her fur and mane. After a shake to make sure she was dry, she wrinkled her nose at the strong alcoholic smell that still lingered on her.
She was going to have to shower well when she got back.
Over the intercom of the store, there came a tired voice, "Cleanup in aisle five. Berry Punch is at it again."
Starlight snorted at that. Whatever the case, she had accomplished her next goal. With a satisfied grin, she checked off that item, and then she paused. Figuring out her writing was proving to be a bit more troublesome than she thought, but she shrugged and started to make her way toward the aisle exit.
After a bit more figuring out her scribbles, Starlight stated, "Oh, this should be easy. Just need to find the ingredients for hay schnitzel." She pointed toward the baking goods section and began her trek there. Surprisingly, it was fairly empty of ponies.
"'Hay schnitzel?'" Trixie repeated, sounding slightly repulsed and also confused. "What the—pardon the pun—hay is that?"
"Ugh," Starlight grumbled whilst rolling her eyes at Trixie's jab. "It's an old recipe that Stellar Flare made when I was a filly. Sunburst apparently loved it." She giggled. "It sounds really simple to make: just hay, get it mashed together well enough, bread it, and then fry it. Add some garnishes, and boom! Hay schnitzel!" With a triumphant nicker, she pumped a hoof into the air once and smiled widely at Trixie.
"Trixie... thinks that cardboard sounds more appealing than that." Trixie scratched her chin, and she finally huffed, "Actually, she knows cardboard is more appetizing."
Starlight tittered softly and declared, "Well, this is Sunburst we're talking about." She smirked.
"True, he did order—" Trixie paused at Starlight's glare. Grinning awkwardly and clearing her throat, Trixie instead declared, "What Trixie meant to say was that she sometimes wonders if pepper is too spicy for him." She arched a brow. "Are you sure that he wouldn't just like a gourmet hayburger instead, though?"
"Pfft," Starlight mumbled with a dismissive wave of her hoof. As they twisted around the small lanes that had been formed in the crowds of customers, she stated, "That's too simple, Trixie! I have to do something that takes a bit of effort to do!" At Trixie's unconvinced stare, she added with a bit of force to her voice, "I have to show how much I care about him!"
"Right." Trixie simply frowned and shook her head. "Whatever, Starlight. He's your coltfriend." With a sigh, she lowered her voice and she grumbled, "Unfortunately."
"Say something?" Starlight asked, a glare on her face indicating that she knew exactly what Trixie had whined about. Her horn was currently glowing brightly, creating a much wider berth for the duo as they turned into the baking aisle.
As a spark from her horn fell onto Trixie's nose, Trixie smiled weakly and whimpered, "Trixie meant, 'understandably.'" At Starlight's curt nod, she gave a small exhale and wiped her forehead.
Soon, they found the breadcrumbs that Starlight would use to make the batter for the schnitzel's coating. Starlight arched a brow. "Huh," she muttered, looking over both her shoulders and then doing a quick spin around. When she finally arrived again to look at breadcrumbs, she quipped, "There's nopony here to beat me to a pulp this time."
"You say that like it's a bad thing, Starlight," Trixie pointed out as she rested against the cart, kicking one of her hind hooves back and forth.
"Well," Starlight started a bit unsurely, "it feels weird after the last two times." Indicating the entire line of different products she could choose, she stated, "And then I have all these choices. Is this what shopping at a superstore is supposed to feel like?"
Not bothering to deign it with an answer, Trixie simply let Starlight ponder her choices for a moment as she stared at the rows of breadcrumb containers and the various producers of it. Starlight tapped her chin, switching her attention between the different flavors she could get. Did she buy just the plain ones, or did she get one that tasted like garlic, or had some spice to it?
Were these all just a representation of the numerous choices that life presented her, each with their own compelling option, but ultimately leading back to the same result? Was she just supposed to pick at random and hope for the best? And did she always have to do it alone? Why wasn't Trixie providing input?
As she continued to ponder these existential questions, Trixie finally sighed, "Just pick one, Starlight. Trixie is beginning to tire, and she needs a snack." She licked her lips as she stared again at the peanut butter and crackers that were in the cart. "Soon, my precious," she mumbled under her breath. "You will all be Trixie's."
"Fine..." Starlight huffed as she closed her eyes and chose one at random. When she opened them, she saw that she had grabbed the plain crumbs. Probably for the best, she ultimately decided. Dropping them in the cart, she clapped her hooves together, and she stated, "Now to find hay!"
Trixie pointed to shelves about three cart-lengths down. Blushing and giggling softly to herself, Starlight let out a small, nasally snort. "Oh, yeah, that would work."
After picking up enough hay, she and Trixie quickly pushed their way through another crowd to grab a couple of garnishes. Although it was picked over, they were able to grab some cloves and a lemon, and the two of them started to make their way toward the checkout counter. As they approached, Starlight managed to snag a cake that had been left by itself on a nearby shelf, and she squealed triumphantly as she realized she had all the items she needed to make the perfect New Year's meal.
Finally reaching the checkout counter, Starlight sighed contentedly as she began to unload the cart onto the nearest conveyer to a cashier. Thankfully, they only had to wait a few minutes, as it seemed like most cashiers were going pretty quickly. She heard mention of those new credit cards that had been invented only recently. To her surprise, it seemed they carried the required magical equipment to read them.
According to Twilight, there was a similar system over in Sunset's world, although without any magic to process the transactions. Twilight also added it might have been the reason why she wasn't going back over there, because she might have gone on a spending spree of buying electronics to bring back when she didn't understand how credit worked.
That was apparently the other Twilight's problem to solve now.
"Well," Trixie stated with a stretch, "Trixie has a few things she's going to get for herself, so, meet you at the exit!" At that, she snatched the crackers and jar of peanut butter plus a box of teabags that she'd pilfered from another cart in her magic and happily skipped along to another counter. She pulled out a small bundle of bits and placed them on the conveyer belt and slowly trundled along as she got closer to her cashier.
Starlight rolled her eyes, focusing again on her own items as she noticed the conveyer's rather dirty exterior. Some of the late afternoon sunlight was pouring in through the wide bay windows of the checkout area, highlighting the numerous streaks of grime stuck on the rubber. A number of tabloids and magazines were displayed on racks at eye level to try and catch as much attention as possible.
With a huff, she read a couple of the headlines. "Does Princess Twilight have a secret hayburger problem?!" one asked, an unflattering picture of Twilight in the middle of devouring said food and spraying condiments all over her face adorning its cover. Another inquired, "Hottest mare of the year, or simply the most powerful? Is Princess Twilight every bachelor's dream come true?!" At that one, Starlight blushed as it was a clearly altered image of Twilight to appear in a more beckoning, seductive pose on a bed. They even added socks to accentuate the sexiness of her appearance.
Sticking out her tongue, Starlight shuddered and brought out her own bag of bits. She clinked them onto the counter, next to the cashier, and flashed him a massive grin. A bit giddily, she bounced on the tips of her hooves as he started to slowly enter each item into the cash register.
He was probably about seventeen and had already started to develop a hunch. His mouth hanging open slightly, he lazily tapped in the product code for the breadcrumbs, and then pushed aside a bit of his greasy black mane. From what Starlight could see, his light blue coat had a few splotches of similar grease on it. She mildly cringed back as he snuffed loudly and wiped at his nose.
"Hello!" she greeted kindly, getting no response in return. Scrunching her muzzle, she mumbled under her breath, "Okay, be that way then." She looked over his shoulder to see that Trixie was happily chatting up the cashier that she had. Starlight groaned. Of course she'd get the antisocial pony.
As he started to enter the item code for the cloves, Starlight cleared her throat, and he looked at her. Blushing a bit, she stated, "Sorry, but if you could enter them a bit faster, that'd be great." She nibbled her lip. "It's for an important occasion."
He blankly stared at her for a moment, then, wiping his nose again, he muttered, "You distracted me. Now I have to start again." With that, he turned to the register, deleted the entry, and then slowly began to hoof in the product code again.
"Ugh!" Starlight moaned, slamming her head onto the counter and repeating the motion a couple of times. As she went in for her fifth smack, she heard hooves trot up to her, and she saw Trixie munching on a cracker or two.
"You seem upset, Starlight," Trixie stated nonchalantly.
"You don't say," Starlight answered as she glowered at Trixie. The cashier was still typing in her purchases, and she sighed as she rubbed at her now throbbing forehead. Whether it was because of the repeated head-bashing, or because of ponies being the biggest pain in the flank, she wasn't sure.
After she opened her eyes, she saw that he was staring at the wine and then back to her. Repeating the motion a couple of times, he inquired in a painfully dead and slow voice, "I'm going to need to see some ID."
"What?"
"ID."
"I heard you," Starlight grumbled as she straightened herself up. She didn't even know if she had ID. She was just recognized as Twilight's student pretty much everywhere in Ponyville. And, well, almost all of Equestria. It helped that she saved it once or twice, too.
Fumbling around in her small pocket dimension where she kept other important items, she finally came up empty and she chuckled, "Uh, I'm Starlight Glimmer." When the cashier simply stared at her, she raised her flank a bit and pointed at her cutie mark. "This is all the ID I need. Nopony else has this cutie mark."
"If you're trying to seduce me to get this, ma'am, it won't work." He pointed at a sign that clearly read exactly that. "Company policy."
"Why would—" Starlight's left eye twitched, and she simply groaned. "Ugh!"
"Don't worry," Trixie declared with a smile, "Trixie has this." She flipped up her cloak to reveal, along with her bit bag, a couple of different items, including a small card. She grabbed it and passed it over to the colt. "Here you go. I'll cover for my friend." She smiled smugly, and Starlight merely glared daggers at her while the colt went over the ID.
After a couple more seconds of inspection, he brightened and stated, "Oh! You're Trixie Lulamoon? The magician?!" He placed the wine bottle on the counter and hopped off to grab a piece of paper. "Can I get your autograph?"
"Of course, Trixie loves to make her—" she held back a weak gag after she saw how greasy he was "—fans' day." She quickly stamped her hoof onto the paper with a bit of ink she conjured, and soon enough the rest of the items were bagged and ready to be paid for.
"Finally," Starlight sighed in relief as she opened her bag to pay. "How much do I need to pay?" When the colt listed off the total of one hundred and sixty-five and one quarter bits, she choked on her spit and nearly fainted. However, she managed to keep her composure, and she reached into her bag. Luckily, she always kept a two hundred bit on her, in case of an emergency. This was definitely an emergency.
Passing it over to him, she stated, "There, now if I could get my change?"
For a moment, he simply stared at the bit like she had hoofed him some ancient artifact that was going to turn him into a seapony or something at any moment. Shortly, he glanced up at her and he asked, "What's 'change?'"
"Y-You do have bits on you, right?" Starlight stuttered, her mane beginning to fray more as the stress of just checking out dragged on and on. When he nodded, she stated, "Then you just give me my change—you know, to even things up—from the register?"
"But how?"
Starlight smacked a hoof to her face. "You. Make. Change?"
"How?"
"You. Subtract. The smaller number. From. The larger one!" Starlight snarled through gritted teeth. If she opened her eyes, she knew she was going to see red, and there would be a very good chance that this colt would be the one going into another dimension, not Trixie.
"Oooooohhhhhh," the colt exclaimed like she had revealed the inner workings of the universe to him. "Oh, yeah, I'll do that." Whipping up a calculator, he slowly began to punch in the two hundred she gave him. He froze for a second, stuck out his tongue as he thought, and then shook his head. Starlight groaned after he redid the calculation, reentered it, and then cleared it one last time.
Her left eye twitching again, she finally snapped, "It's thirty-four and three-quarter bits!" Heaving and shivering, she glowered at him as he stared dopily at her. He ploddingly opened the cash register and extracted the stated number of bits from it. Dumbly foisting them over, he meekly whimpered and gave her a receipt.
"Thanks!" she snapped, ripping the receipt from his hoof with her magic and thrusting it into the bag of her items. "Have a good day!" she snarled at him, then stomped off with Trixie in tow, who was still munching on the crackers and peanut butter like she was watching an entertaining movie.
As Starlight levitated the cart back into its spot, she heard over the intercom, "Attention, valued customers. To begin the afternoon, we are offering a sale on breadcrumbs. Please go to aisle seven to find them. Thank you for your patronage and enjoy your shopping!"
As soon as it cut out, Starlight felt the ground begin to rumble, and she and Trixie exchanged worried glances. From outside, there was a sudden surge of ponies breaking for the door, and she could hear them chanting over and over again, "Sale! Sale! Sale!"
As the doors burst down, Starlight's ears flopped against her head. "Buck."