Lotus stared down at Luna's response, turning over the magical letter in the air. She could hold it there now, so long as she stayed focused. That focus took total concentration, and shattered the instant she looked away. But it was all the proof she needed—she could learn this. She could get better. Once she mastered this new skill, she could return him to reality.
Of course that wasn't what her new pen-pal seemed to want. She wanted Lotus to find the way back into another world, so they could be saved from an ancient evil version of what she looked like. The one whose magic had cursed her in the first place.
"I would look through the book for you," Iron said, settling down beside her with a plate of breakfast. "But I happen to know that's not a good idea. That book was never meant to be read by somepony who was not a Kirin. Searing hated other creatures, but ponies most of all. I'm afraid that only you can learn from it."
Lotus set the scroll down, then stood up. "I'm not the right person for this job. I couldn't make it through college. What makes you think I'll be able to sit in one room and do nothing but study all day?"
Iron shrugged. "I don't know what college is. But in the time since I've arrived I've only ever known a kind, clever creature. She has remained composed despite being transformed into a monster. She didn't know that Equestria even existed, but she adapted quickly. She can figure this out."
Lotus can. She could just keep pretending that she was a different person. Eric might not be smart enough to master a new skill, but Lotus could. Maybe her new species was smarter than her old one, and she could get a boost that way.
"I know you're worried about your bills," Gus said, settling down a plate in front of her. "Don't be. Good thing I cashed out of GameStop when I did, eh? I'll cover you. All I want in exchange is... to be involved. I want to hear about all the 'magic' you figure out. I want to film your spells. And if you really figure out a way to go to another world, you have to bring me. That's what I want."
Iron Feather turned, staring up at him. "Ponies will think you're an even stranger creature than your friend. There isn't a town or city you could visit where ponies wouldn't stare."
Gus shrugged. "Don't care. You've already changed everything we thought we knew about the world just by being here. Other worlds exist, magic exists—I need to document it. One day I'll find the right person who will... not think I'm insane when I show them."
"Thanks, Gus," Lotus said. "Of course you can do all that. I'll accept your demand, so long as you don't put my real name in it, attached to..." She tucked her tail backwards between her legs, looking away from him. "This. Keep calling me Lotus for the cameras, okay? You can put me in if I find a way to reverse it."
Gus laughed. "Deal, Lotus. I can't blame you for wanting that. Don't have a clue what I would do if I was in that position. A horse, a g—"
"Don't remind me!" she said, loudly. "I get it." She slumped down into the couch, pulling the book into her lap. "Let me study. I want to find the spells I’m looking for by the time the princess sends her instructions about basic magic."
That was what she did, long enough that time started to blur together. She was already going a little crazy from spending her last several days stuck in one room. But the longer she was inside, the harder it got to concentrate. If she was here for a week, she was going to burn the house down to escape. If she was somehow stuck inside for a month, she might melt into a gross smear on the floor.
The book wasn't that huge, not the kind of thing she could read over for months and months and still leave most of it unknown. It was relatively easy to find the spells that Princess Luna told her about. "Probing the Outermost Edges of the Tapestry" seemed like a good candidate for finding weak points between worlds, where they could cross over.
"Worldgates of Elementary Duration Torn Between Near Realms" was the only thing approaching a world-portal. She marked these pages, but continued her reading as though she hadn't. While Gus and Iron talked in a distant corner about the differences between their worlds, Lotus kept reading.
There had to be something about transformation hidden in this tome somewhere, or else how could it have changed Eric in the first place. Lotus never would've been created, and Eric's life wouldn't be ruined. It was in there, if she looked for it.
She found it near the evening after her first full day of study. Long enough that Luna had sent several longer letters, detailing instructions for how to approach the early days of her magical practice. But she ignored them all, denying any of Iron's suggestions that she should put the book down for the time being.
Then it was in front of her. "Long-term Reconstruction to Useful Living Forms" the book called it. The diagrams on the next page were almost as complex as the ones for making a portal between two worlds. But for a goal this important, Lotus could study. She could practice.
"Did you find the one we were looking for?" Iron asked, around dinner time. Lotus now had all of Luna's guides and instructions spread around her, with the book weighed down at the corners with a few random nick-nacks, so it stayed open to the page she needed.
"I... I found a lot of good stuff," she said. She flicked her tail down at the open page. But Lotus already felt a little less self-conscious, now that the recipe to return her to normal was open right in front of her. "I found a way to change back. The spell was right there the whole time."
Iron tensed, leaning suddenly past her to look at the diagram she was copying onto one of many blank pages in front of her. "Self-transformation? I thought we talked about this—it's way too dangerous for you to start with. The portals are easier—you know, the portal that can take us directly to a pony who can change you back. So you won't have to learn this."
She winced, looking away from him. He almost never looked so intense. Or rather, he rarely seemed so upset with her.
"You don't know what it's like to have to be something else," she argued. But she didn't have much heart left in it anymore. Iron Feather knew his homeland, and he knew the dangers of its magic. Anything he said about it was probably true.
"I don't," Iron agreed. "I think you're doing amazingly well so far. Better than I would be. But I know deadly magic." He opened one wing for her. The other didn't get far with the cast, and he winced. "Flying is the same way. When I was a little colt opening my wings for the first time, I thought I could do anything. I broke this same wing when I thought that I could go up into a gale and make it back again. Maybe Searing’s attack wouldn't have been able to hurt me this badly if I was smarter when I was little.
"But you're not little, Lotus. You have all the magic of an adult mare, maybe more. We don't even understand why Searing’s spellbook changed you in the first place. If it made you as powerful as she was, a failed spell could... it could kill you, and maybe level every building nearby at the same time. Please, promise you'll wait to learn this stuff until it's safe."
Lotus nodded weakly, then flipped the page closed. "I guess it isn't getting any worse. I'll practice with something else."
She said it, and some part of her even meant it. The danger was real. But that didn't mean she would give up on trying to save Eric. Her old self would be dead forever unless someone learned how to make this stuff work, it might as well be her.
But it wasn't that day, or the next. Being physically smaller did far less to make the small size of the home she was trapped in feel any less like a prison. Her bed was huge, but she spent each night tossing and turning. Instead of waking rested, it was usually to a new entry waiting in her journal, explaining something.
Luna's instructions for how to master the early levels of spellcasting suggested that she redraw and resketch each spell diagram in turn, until she completely mastered what they contained and she could see the diagrams with her eyes closed.
She pinned each imperfect copy to her wall, until half her bedroom was covered by slightly-off probing spells. How much longer could she look at them before she completely lost her sanity?
Outside the thin walls, she waited for the sound of helicopters, or soldiers wearing heavy leather boots. But it never came. No three-letter organizations knew she was here. Despite her brief trip down the highway, despite her last day of work—Eric just fell out of the world, and nobody cared.
"I'd like to plan a trip," she told Gus, late one afternoon. "Before I die of terminal cabin-fever. How do you feel about camping?"
Her best friend was usually around. Often he was in his room compiling information he gathered during their conversations—but he helped plenty of time too. With meals, with cleaning up, or whatever Lotus asked. He wanted to be close, observing the details and consequences of her transformation.
"I'm okay with it," he answered, one eyebrow going up. "But I don't look like a... Kirin, I think you're called. I'm not from Greek myths either. Sure sounds like a bad idea to just be driving around with you two."
"I know," she said, raising one hoof defensively. Iron Feather was on the other side of the kitchen, going through a simple exercise routine—but now he looked up, listening intently.
Lotus ignored him. She had to get it out quick enough that she didn't lose her confidence before she was finished. "We could leave at night, and go out into the woods somewhere. Not a usual campsite. I need to get out of this house before I bathe with the toaster. I can't be stuck in here every day."
Iron straightened, and made his slow way over. His little calisthenics routine brought with it something else—the smell of sweat and muscles. Eric had smelled the same thing in every locker room he'd ever been in, and only ever wanted to find the fastest way out.
Lotus, though—the smell affected her differently. She had to deliberately turn away from Iron, keeping her focus on Gus. "Please, just an overnight somewhere. Magic under the stars seems more magical than a double-wide, doesn't it? Maybe I'll be able to reach the spirits better out there, or... pull on the heart of the world, or however this stuff works."
Finally Iron Feather reached them. He settled onto his haunches, then spoke. "I know your frustration, Lotus. Here I am the first explorer in a new world, and my wing is broken. I can't even go up to look around. But both of us will be far safer if we remain inside these walls as much as possible. I'm telling you, Searing is still out there somewhere. She wants her phylactery returned. If she gets her hooves on it, I'll never see my home again, and you'll never get your body back. We shouldn't be taking risks. At least inside these walls, we're hidden."
Gus clicked his laptop screen closed. "Tell you what, Lotus. I'll get things packed up for a trip. When you're ready to really... find the place to make a portal, then we can go camping after. I don't want the door to another world in my bedroom."
It wasn't exactly what she wanted, but Lotus only nodded, defeated. "Okay, Gus. That sounds good. Get things packed, I'll be ready to search soon. Another day or two."
She would have to be, or her sanity wouldn't last long enough to be human again.