//------------------------------// // Business As Usual // Story: Eris's Riddle // by hahatimeforponies //------------------------------// "Now. What have we learned?" "Lots of control, sir!" the line of cadets yelled in unison. Rainbow Dash paced along the line, eyeing each one scrutinously. "Good." "Screaming, sir!" "And most importantly?" "Courage, sir!" "Right. Now that you know the elements of a good warcry, let's hear one!" She raised both arms above her head, paused, and swung them out like an orchestra conductor. In return, she received a discordant, sheepish murmur from her charges. "Horsefeathers, let me see your war face!" she screamed. The second response was a little more hearty, but far from heartfelt. "You don't scare m-" She stopped, catching something in the corner of her eye. Did that cadet have his hand raised? Hanging somewhere between disbelief and absolute fury, she marched over and addressed his concern personally. "What the hell do you want, sweetcheeks?" "Wh... when do we break for lunch?" he stammered. Rainbow slapped her forehead, almost hard enough to knock herself over. "We have a lot of work to do..." "You can go in now." "Thank you kindly, nurse." Applejack tipped her hat, and proceeded down the corridor from the waiting room. Fluttershy nodded timidly and followed. "I'll have to ask you to be..." Bang. Nurse Redheart's warning was too late - Applejack burst down the door she was directed to. "... quiet..." "So just what the hay didja do to yourself this time, Big Macintosh?" she exclaimed. The farm pony muffled a response through a jaw brace. "He has a broken jaw and left hand, he can't talk," the nurse explained, closing the door behind her. Fluttershy murmured an apology as she passed. "What? Again?" "I'm afraid so. Hand and mouth injuries have increased dramatically in the last six months, since the... well, you know." The nurse sighed and shook her head, flipping through her chart. "A lot of ponies haven't quite gotten the hang of hands." Applejack and Fluttershy exchanged worried glances. "Zhhhyzhp," Big Macintosh mumbled. "I think we've had enough lunch, Pinkie..." Scootaloo whimpered, deliberately sticking her belly forward in her chair. "Hm. Suit yourselves!" The party pony giggled, and scooped up the remaining cakes from the plate, stuffing them into her mouth with gusto. Dinky Hooves grimaced, and leaned over to whisper something to Sweetie Belle. "Who thought it was a good idea to let Pinkie Pie babysit us again?" Sweetie just shrugged. "So what do you wanna do now k-" Burp. "... kids?" Pinkie wiped the icing off her face, and bounced in her chair. "Ah wanna go outside!" Applebloom stood up, accidentally flinging her chair backwards. The other three fillies chimed in their agreement, and without even waiting for their caretaker's permission, sprang from their seats and bolted for Sugarcube Corner's door. Pinkie shrugged, and raced after them. Mr. Cake sighed, and picked up the abandoned chairs. Outside, the activity of choice seemed to have landed on tree-climbing. By the time Pinkie had found the four crusaders, they were already clambering up the biggest tree they could find, an old oak near the edge of the park. She chuckled and watched, listening to the near incomprehensible whoops and squeals. 'First one to the top wins!' 'Hey, that's cheating! No wings, Scootaloo!' 'Help, I'm stuck!' "Wait a second... that doesn't sound like fun at all! What happened?" "Sweetie Belle slipped and now she's stuck in the tree!" Applebloom whimpered, sliding down the trunk. Dinky followed behind her, and Scootaloo glided to the ground. "I'll save you!" Pinkie puffed up her chest, and launched herself at the tree... only to get skulled by a branch, and fall back to the ground, dazed. The three fillies on the ground blinked, and shared confused looks. "Should we call the fire engine?" "Help! Somepony!" "Whah would a fire engine help, Scootaloo? Sweetie Belle isn't on fire!" "They get cats out of trees, they should be able to get ponies out of trees too! Tell her, Dinky!" Scootaloo looked over to the spot where the unicorn was, only to find empty space. "... Dinky?" "She's up there!" Applebloom pointed to the tree, where Dinky had scaled the trunk again, and was shimmying along one of the larger branches. Pretty soon, the two branches Sweetie Belle was wedged between were prised apart far enough for her to come free, and she squealed as she began to fall. Dinky immediately grasped the branch with one hand, and launched herself towards the falling unicorn, just in time to grab her wrist. Sweetie's scream petered out, replaced with relieved panting as she swung. "Dinky, that was amazing!" Scootaloo cheered. Dinky let Sweetie Belle drop to a soft landing on the grass, and followed a moment later. "See, ah told you we didn't need no fire engine!" Applebloom stuck her tongue out at the pegasus filly. "Wow, you're pretty good at this!" "Thanks!" Dinky smiled proudly. "Now who wants to go play soccer? Maybe that's my special talent!" Without delay, the Cutie Mark Crusaders went straight for the park. Pinkie Pie just burbled on the ground. Ponyville was bustling. It seemed like everypony was out and about today, and why shouldn't they be? The Summer Sun celebration was only three days away, and even though Princess Celestia wasn't around to be its centrepiece, everypony loves a carnival. So Rarity, laden with boxes of decorations and other odds and ends, was having a pretty tough time navigating the crowd. It was only a matter of time before she collided with somepony and sent her burden flying. "Ah! Careful, some of those things are fragile!" She scrambled around, stuffing ribbons and trinkets back into the boxes. "My sincerest apologies, ma'am, are you alright?" "Honestly, some... ponies..." Her indignation just slipped away when she realised just who was offering her a hand up from the ground. Pulling a bag off his head and offering his most concerned smile was a white unicorn stallion, sporting a sharp suit, an elegantly kept blue mane, and a wafer thin moustache to match. "F... Fancypants?" she gibbered. What in Equestria is he doing in Ponyville? "I say, that's... one way to make an introduction." He chuckled, handing the bag over to her. Behind him, a unicorn mare peered over his shoulder, catching a glimpse of the bag's contents; mostly gems and fine silk ribbons. "Hmm... a pony with expensive tastes," she whispered; Fancypants sneaked a peek, and nodded subtly in agreement. Rarity busied herself with reassembling her luggage. "My goodness, I am so sorry, I didn't see you there, I just had so many bags, and I was in a hurry to get to my friend Twilight's house, they have me organising the decorations for the Summer Sun celebration again this year..." "Twilight? Twilight Sparkle?" Fancypants blinked, and levitated a monocle in front of his face. "Is this the same Twilight from the... incident in Canterlot?" Rarity didn't even miss a beat, putting her last few things together. "Why yes, I was with her the whole time..." "I say..." A little wry smile crept across his face. "Again, I'm really sorry I bumped into you..." "I'm not!" "... what?" Rarity stopped in her tracks. "Clearly you're somepony worth bumping into! Miss..." "Rarity." "Rarity! Wonderful. Listen, I'm having a little soirée the evening before the Summer Sun celebration at my summer home just out of town..." That explains what he's doing here, then. "... would you be so kind as to join me, and a few of my companions there?" "Me? I... uh... yes! Yes!" "Splendid!" Thump thump thump. "Spike! Can you get that?" "Alright, I doof!" As soon as Spike twisted the handle on the library door, it swung open in his face, and Rarity stumbled through, boxes stacked in her arms, bags floating behind her. "I've got those decorations Twilight, I do hope they're up to par..." Rarity called, setting them down on a table. "Twilight?" "Just a second..." The reply came from upstairs. "Darling, surely you can't still be stuck writing those letters, can you?" A pause. "I'm afraid so, Rarity..." Twilight sighed, folding away a piece of paper and starting down the stairs. Her mane looked like it hadn't seen a brush for days, and her eyes had thick bags under them. "I wasn't aware some of Equestria's region leaders could be so stubborn! The Mayor is calling for nationwide elections, the Consul of Cloudsdale wants to instate martial law, and don't even get me started on Prince Blueblood!" "Blueblood?" Rarity looked as if she'd been served a mould sandwich. "Tell me he's not." "He is," Twilight groaned. "As the eldest living relative of the Princesses, he inherited the throne of Canterlot... he's been insufferable ever since. And then there's rumours of another gryphon horde on the march, Appleloosa is threatening secession... ugh, I'm going out of my mind here!" "Heavens! You must join Fluttershy and I at the spa one of these days, you could really use a break from all this stress... are you sure you can handle the Summer Sun preparations?" "I'm... I'm fine. It's fine. Thanks for your concern, but I just have to knuckle down and do this." Rarity paused and bit her lip, while Twilight fiddled with some more scrolls. "Uhh... speaking of gryphons... sort of... how is Rainbow Dash doing? Have you heard back from her?" "Oh! Yes, she's doing great!" Twilight's face lit up, and she tossed the scrolls aside to search for something else, quickly pulling out a letter and reading it. Spike staggered from the door, only for one of them to land on his head with a bonk. "She says that now that the training camp is settling in, she should be home every two weeks, starting from the Summer Sun celebration!" "Wonderful!" "I know! She would make it every week, but the flight from Trottingham is too long. Unfortunately, she doesn't know when she'll be back for good, but she misses all of us." "You uh, want me to send these, Twi?" Spike rubbed his head, and held up one of the discarded scrolls. "Sure, go a..." Twilight stopped when she saw Spike double over, clutching his stomach and bulging his cheeks. After a couple of seconds of this nauseous expression, he unleashed a small belch of green flames, and a scroll materialised in the air from them. "...head? Funny, I wasn't expecting mail..." She picked it up and unfurled it. The paper was faintly marked with the Wonderbolts' insignia in the background. She raised an eyebrow and started to read aloud. "'Dear Twilight... Scratch that last letter I sent you. Something's come up." Both she and Rarity gulped. "I can't give you all the details, because well, I'm not quite sure what the hell is going on myself. I just need you and the others to get over here ASAP. I borrowed a dragon for this, so yeah, it's urgent. Rainbow Dash'" "I see boot camp is doing her literacy skills the world of good." Rarity folded her arms and leaned on the wall. Twilight shook her head, rereading the letter to herself. "Hmm... this can't be good. Not at all."