Applejack was leading Kwik through the orchard, probably right up to where they were going to start. They passed row after row of beautiful, luscious trees, each one bearing the same, deep-red colored fruit on them. They all looked beautiful. Kwik wondered why they didn't start closer to the farm, but it wasn't necessarily a huge deal. He was just happy to be doing work. They had been walking for about 5 minutes now, in silence. This was just for for Kwik, as he needed to take in the surroundings and he wanted to familiarize himself with it, which he did best when left to his own thoughts. The farther into the orchard they went, the bigger and juicier the fruit looked. This explained why they weren't starting closer, as they must not be perfectly ripe. Even so, he had no authority to question Applejack on the subject, as she clearly knew more about apples than he did. Applejack looked around, and smiled.
"Well, here we are," she said, walking up to a tree with a bunch of baskets around it.
"Eeyup." Kwik nearly had a heart attack. He turned and looked behind him and saw Big Mac. Kwik was completely oblivious to his presence, and apparently he was with them the entire way.
"So, here's whatcher gonna be doin' fer most u'the time yer workin'," she said, drawing Kwiks attention back to her. She placed some of the baskets around the tree, turned, and bucked it as hard as she could. All the apples fell out out the tree and landed perfectly in the basket, stacking very nicely and orderly so that none of them fell out.
"Big Mac, you wanna show 'im a thing or two?" Applejack asked.
"Sure AJ," he said in that deep, dull voice of his. He waled over to a huge tree and bucked it with all of his strength. This tree was probably 50% higher than Applejack's tree and twice as big around with much more fruit on its branches. Every single one of them fell out into the basket below, again, perfectly. Kwiks jaw dropped slightly as the odds were astronomical that that could happen twice and even less so that they would happen with so many apples so high up in the air. It was like there were magnets in the apples and they were drawn to the baskets.
"Alrighty then, yer turn!" Applejack said. Kwik put out the baskets under the tree he chose, turned around, and bucked it as hard as he could. To his surprise, most of them came loose. One more buck sent them all crashing down to the earth. A few of them even landed in the baskets. He began picking them up and putting them in the baskets when Applejack approached him to critique his work.
"Not bad. Not bad at all. Butcha gotta work on gettin' the apples ta fall in the baskets. We gotta maximize our output fer the party this Friday." This was confusing, as she implied that she had a method for getting the apples to fall right in to the baskets.
"Oh, yeah, no problem. Here, let me try again." Kwik walked over to a nearby tree and bucked it. This time, every single apple came off. He positioned all the baskets under clumps of apples to get as many as he could to just fall right in. He was able to get about 10 of the 20 or so apples to get in the baskets. He smiled with pride, and turned to Applejack.
"Better?"
"Well, it's definitely better. But ya gotta try a bit harder than that. Here, watch me an' Mac." Kwik had no idea what exactly Applejack was doing that was any different than what he was doing, but he watched diligently nonetheless. Applejack and Big Mac walked up to different trees, haphazardly placing their baskets down with no particular care as to where they were placed, and they each bucked their own trees. Both of them got every single apple in their respective baskets. Applejack turned to Kwik, while Big Mac picked up several full baskets and started to walk back to the farm.
"That's what ya gotta do," she said, a slight smile on her face. This was maddening. Kwik decided to relax the mental restraints a bit.
"Ok, Applejack, but tell me this: What am I doing wrong?" Kwik had started, and now he couldn't stop the ball from rolling. His frustration manifested itself in the form of sarcasm so thick, he could taste it in his saliva. "I mean, from my humble standpoint it looks like you're not a farmpony, but rather a wizard who is capable of controlling fruit to do her bidding. Please enlighten me as to how exactly I am supposed to force these apples to change trajectory mid-flight and be guided into the baskets. You see I am a normal pony so I don't have these powers of apple-control that you have." Applejack looked appalled.
"Excuse me?" she said, brow furrowing.
Crap. Too much, thought Kwik. His eyes darted around as he tried to speak, but all he could muster was repeated sounds usually meant for stalling.
"I, uh, meant to say that, um, you, er, I, erm-"
"I think ya should go now, Mr. Witte," Applejack said. Kwik breathed a sigh, turned around, and began his shameful walk back to the farm, and eventually back to Ponyville. He hung his head while he walked, not making any noise as he made his way back to the town.
After ten minutes, he was back exactly where he started, with the addition of having somepony angry at him. He looked around trying to find someone else who looked overwhelmed. There was nopony. Kwik walked a little more before he felt a grumbling coming from his stomach. He realized he skipped breakfast and it was now lunchtime. He looked around and saw a nice looking bakery across the street, and he decided to go and see what they had to offer. He turned and started walking, his stomach getting even angrier. Much like an old person left in the sun too long... He approached the bakery, with a marvelous cupcake sign that read "Sugarcube Corner" meeting his gaze. From the shape of the building, he judged that there would be plenty of desserts in there for him to eat. Just the thought of it made his elderly male even angrier. He decided to drown his his hunger the same way his dad did: gorging on cupackes. Except instead of hunger, it was depression. And instead of cupcakes, it was hard cider. Same thing, really.
He opened the door and walked inside, meeting a solid wall of color and happiness. It was almost too much when he also smelled the amazing scent of baked bread and sugar. There a few ponies in the bakery, including two couples who were apparently on a date. Kwik made note of this in case he was lucky enough to date someone from this town, as this appeared to be at least somewhat popular, and with good reason, too. The counter was a glass case and it had some of the most delicious-looking pastries and cakes Kwik had ever seen. There was one labeled "Ultra Double Chocolate fudge Brownie Deluxe." It was beautiful. Kwik tacked that brownie on to his mental list of members in his food harem. He approached the counter, not taking his eyes off of the seductive brownie. He raised his head and looked around, trying to find a cashier or an employee to make his purchase. He looked around, and there was a doorway to the left of the counter. Kwik could see boxes and ingredients in the back, and heard a light muffled sound coming from back there. A wild, pink tail backed across the doorway. Kwik took this chance as he wanted that brownie immediately.
"Excuse me, I'd like to buy this delicious looking brownie!" he called. The tail stopped moving backward. The pony it was attached to turned around and ran out the door. Crap. Not her.... It was Pinkie Pie. Of course. Of. Freaking Course. She reached the counter in the blink of an eye. She was smiling widely, and when she recognized him, her smile went even wider and her eyes grew in size. And grew. And grew. Still growing. When her eyes were done going through there momentary puberty, she gasped and started speaking to -talking at, depending on whether or not she's addressing you- Kwik in that loud, obnoxious tone of hers.
"OHMIGOSHKwikHowAreYouIHaven'tSeenYouSinceThePartyHowAreYouYouWantToBuySomethingWhatCanIGetYouACakeAPieABrownie?!"
"Yes, I would like to buy the brownie," he said, pointing to his chocolate mistress.
"OK!" She exclaimed. With lightning speed and precision she removed the brownie and put in a small paper bag and handed it to him. "That will be 7 bits, please!" It was a little expensive, but Kwik decided it would be worth it. He reached into his side bag and pulled out 7 bits. He handed them over calmly and took the paper bag, then turned to leave. He dropped two bits into the tip jar, as her enthusiasm and promptness were traits he had never seen. He was only at the counter for 5 seconds before the entire transaction was complete, and that was incredible to Kwik, so he figured she'd earned it.
"Thanks, balloon-eyes."
"Huh?"
"Nothing. See ya later, Pinkie."
"OHCOOLIHOPETOSEEYOULATERATTHEPARTYTHISFRIDAY!"
"Ok," Kwik responded as he walked out the door. He walked along just looking around, and finally sat down on the side of a nice little pond. He got out his brownie and he sniffed it, taking in the heavenly aroma of his fudge delight. He opened his mouth and took a bite. It was glorious, in every way he had hoped it would be. He immediately thought of the mare he met at his party the night before, Rarity was her name. Certainly she would be able to tell him where he could buy a ring to put on the messy, fudge-covered finger of his one and only love. When he had finished his work, he was satisfied. He let out a small tear for his fallen comrade.
"Oh, hello there!"
"And after that, I want you to make sure your bed is nice and made."
"Is that all, Twilight?" Spike asked.
"Yes, that will be all. Bye!"
"Bye."
Twilight stepped out of the door and into the town. She started walking, to nowhere in particular. It was nice that she could just walk around and clear her head every once in a while. She walked the entire circumference of the town before cutting through a small path that ran adjacent to a pond. She continued walking, enjoying the sunny day and nice breeze. When Twilight walked she had a bait of getting lost in her thoughts, so much so that she sometimes didn't realize how far she had walked or just went right by her destination. She was taken out of her thoughts when she almost ran into a stroller, narrowly missing it at the last second.
"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry!" The mother just hmph'd at Twilight and kept on walking. "Well, that was kind of rude." She turned back to the path and notices something on the edge of the pond. Or, rather, a somepony. He was dark green with a pale blue mane. She knew she recognized him, but she couldn't remember where. Oh yeah! The party! She remembered his name now, it was Kwik. She didn't really get to meet him, as Pinkie Pie took him away before they actually got to talk. And he was kinda cute, too. Perhaps she'd introduce herself properly.
"Oh, hello there!" she said, approaching him. He turned, looking for the source of the greeting. When he saw here he smiled and returned her greeting.
"Hello. Hey, you look familiar. Have we met?"
"No. Well, yes, kind of," she said. "I was at your welcome party last night. We didn't get to really meet properly. My name is Twilight Sparkle. And you are Kwik, right?"
"That's right," he said, smiling. Man, she's pretty, he thought.
"Right, well. How are you enjoying Ponyville so far?"
"It's been pretty good. I am having a little bit of trouble finding a job though." Oh no. He's unemployed? That's awful!
"Well, maybe a friend of mine can help you with that." At these words, Kwik perked up instantly.
"Wow, really?" he asked, eagerness dripping from his face.
"Yeah. Her name is Applejack, and she- what's wrong?" Kwiks face fell at the mention of Applejacks name.
"Well, I kinda had a job with her, but I got fired for mouthing off."
"Oh. Well then. Why did you mouth off?"
"Well, OK, here's the thing: She and Big Mac were showing me how to buck apples, right, and all of their's went right into the baskets when they kicked them, and none fell out of the baskets. But whenever I did it, some fell in, others fell out. She told me I had to do better at getting them in the baskets to maximize efficiency, right, but I can't control where the apples fall so I couldn't get more apples in the basket." Twilight started to give Kwik a strange look.
"Uh, right, well, that's...interesting. How about the boutique then?" Kwik cocked an eyebrow at this.
"What boutique?" he asked. He was definitely interested in working at a place where there would be a lot of mares, but at the same time, he was getting cautious about the people in this town.
"It's the Carousel Boutique. It's owned by a good friend of mine, and I'm sure I could help you get a job there. She's been looking for a helper for some time now." Kwik thought about it for a moment, and decided it was worth a shot.
"OK, where is this Carousel Boutique?"
"Here, I'll just teleport you there." Her horn began glowing and just like that, he was off.
A/N
OK I realize that there wasn't a lot of funny in this one but I hit a block. I promise the next one will be better. -Noah