//------------------------------// // Chapter 5 // Story: Discords Chaos // by Sweetapplejacker //------------------------------// Chapter 5 Dude, it's weed magic. //////////////////////////// I just blanched at the yellow mare that was claiming to be my friend. "Wait a second, Leon. As in my friend Leon? The guy that shared Discords Chaos with?" The yellow mare rolled her eyes and flicked her mane around out of her eyes, like the way models flip their hair in a fashion shoot. "Why, Am I too beautiful to be Leon?" "In a word; Yes." The yellow mare laughed and walked next me, wrapping a hoof around my neck, pulling me in a awkward one armed hug. "Come on dude, it's me. The guy that helped you buy a white katana from the shops, the guy who's ass you would kick at poker and drinking." I was still unconvinced, Hmmm whats something only we know. After a couple of seconds an idea come to me. "What is our Spec Ops names?" If this is really Leon he will know th- "Come on man thats easy. Yours is Mist Vale or Misty if its off mission, Mine Is Grizzly or Griz off mission, Doc is Zero and Ebony is Black Dynomite." Now I belive him. "Brother!!" I gave him, ummm, her?, the one armed bro hug in return. (If you don't know what that is look at "The Bro Code.") Leon returns the BH and the steps back taking a seat on the grass rubbing his, crap, her hoof around the back of her head, grinning like a idiot the whole time. "Can you belive it man, we are IN Equestria!" Thats when i remembered how i was feeling about Leon and this pony world. The smile slide off my face faster then Doc was in bed, and I glared at hi- HER with very pissed off eyes. Leon seemed to notice cause his grin slowly faded. "Ummm, you alright buddy?" A soft cynical laugh escaped my lips as i slowly started to walk towards him, kinda like how a pedophile moves towards a toddler with a kite. Leon started backing away with a look of fear on his face. "Am i alright? hmmm, let me think about that one." I took a deep breath and began my reasonably worded and toned opinion about this situation. "OF COURSE IM NOT FUCKING ALRIGHT, YOU STUPID SACK SHIT, EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS FUCKING UGLY AND YOUR SOUL IS DOG SHIT!! THIS IS THE REASON WHEN YOU WERE BORN THE DOCTOR SLAPPED YOUR MUM!! YOU GIVE ME SOME FUCKING CIA DRUG THAT CHANGED ME FROM BEING A HUMAN INTO THIS POWERPUFF WORLD WITH TALKING PONIES!! THEN YOU ASK ME IF IM ALRIGHT!?!" I took a moment to regain my breath, then I noticed Leon starting to stand back up after being blasted with my "opinion". "Sit your five dollar ass down, before i make change." Leon raised his---arrrgh fuck it-- hoofs. "Hay buddy, calm down." "Don't tell me to be calm ponyboy" "Ponyboy?" Weird now Leon's voice is changing to be more girly....but he didn't move his lips. "Excuse me, what the buck is going on here?" OOOOooooohhhhh shit. I could tell from the same look Leon had the same thing had gone through his head. At the same time we both turned our heads to the left to see Vinyl, still standing there, with her shades raised and a look of confusion on her face. I gave a weak smile and squeaked, ".....It's an inside joke." Vinyl narrowed her eyes at me and Leon, i felt a drop of sweat appear on the back of my head and leon was sweating bullets. After a moment of heavy burning via what looked like a Sharingan technique, she lowered her shades back over her eyes. "Okay, well i guess... that makes...sorta sense." Aww thank christ. "So how do you know each other?" DAMNIT!! My head went blank. Leon's head on the other hand, must be filled with a lie for any situation. Without missing a beat he answered her with, "We used to go out." "Yeah, we used to g- WHAT!!" I turned towards him and Leon laughed at the look on my face, i'm guessing it was somewhere between rage and embarrassment. What the hell? Why would he say that? "No we didn't, the fuck man?" Leon giggled again looked back to Vinyl. "Okay, i was kidding, he didn't really go out," I sighed with relief, usually it was harder for him to stop a joke. "Thank you" I caught out of the corner of my eye the smallest of smirks. "We just fucked a couple of times." ..... CRUSH, KILL, DESTROY!!! I felt my eye twitch as quickly as the blush that appeared on Vinyls face. Slowly i turned around to face the dead man walking, only to see a patch off dust with his outline and a quickly retreating figure. "I'M COMING FOR YOU FUCKER!!" I hulled ass after him, having walked a lot more, i could run a lot better and quicker now. Leon probably could run longer than me but i was pretty speedy so I quickly caught up with Leon and cornered him in font of some cliff face. He looked left and right, probably looking for a way out. "Any last words asshole?" He smirk and nodded. "I should never have switched from scotch to martinis." I cracked a smile and raised my hoof to end him. “Wait!!” Leon and I both turn to face vinyl, who was panting and a little red in the face, probably from chasing us. “What” we both replied in unison “Toby you can’t hit pineapple snap” I blinked and lowered my hoof. “Huh, why not” I asked “Well because of the barrier” “What the hay is ‘the barrier’ supposed to be” “Wait you don’t know about the barrier” “No, enlighten me” “Well it’s a magical barrier cast by princess Celestia that stops stallions from committing a violent act against mares, but…..” Vinyl throws a punch to my side “Ouch” I rub my side to ease the pain “… Mares can still beat up stallions” “ok, firstly I don’t care about some stupid barrier, and secondly she’s not a mare” I throw my hoof at Leon’s face, he flinches expecting pain but to both our surprises my hoof was stopped by a golden aura a mere inches away from Leon’s face. “Told you so” vinyl said in that manner of fact tone My left eye twitches “Nothing defies me” I throw hundreds of punches to Leon’s face all of them being stopped by that bloody barrier, Leon looked at the helpless me who had just given up on hitting Leon. “Ha, nah nah can’t hit me” Leon sticks out his tongue “I WILL KILL YOU LEON!” Leon cracks his neck and putts up his hooves and goes to hit me but I manage to put my hoof on his forehead and hold him back leaving him to angrily flail his forelegs at me. I just look at him, the rage fading away at the pathetic attempt's to give me bodily harm. I sighed and move to the left, removing my hoof at the same time. For a full second Leon stayed in the same position and then fell on his face. "...Ouch. Asshole." I just shrugged helped him up. Then i turn back to Vinyl and take a breath and sigh. "Okay, time to clear a few things up. Firstly, We didn't go out OR MORE FUCKING IMPORTANTLY HAVE SEX!!, we grew up together and went to the same school since we were kids. Secondly, like me, he-" "She" "He, She, It, I really don't care, It doesn't have a place to stay at them moment, do you think you're dad might be cool with it crashing at the club?" Vinyl rubbed her chin as she thought, i couldn't tell what thou, due to her shades. "I don't know, you will have to talk to him yourself. Now that, whatever this was, is over, i need to get the shopping done. We need to stop at the grocery shopping and then I want to get some new headphones, the pony hoofers x12 are out and I want them.” I give her a mock bow and said in my most charming voice "after you malady." She just smirks and starts walking away with Leon and me following her. ///////////////////////////////////////////////// It wasn't a far walk so I was happy, we stopped by several vendors and pick up all sorts of different items and vinyl places them in a saddle bag she loaned to me, the bag getting heavier and heavier by the moment. I stole a glance at Leon, who at the moment was socializing with some ponies at a flower store. I noticed he seemed to be making an impression cause some of stallions that walk past would stop and try to talk to him. Hehe, if only they knew he was a guy. Vinyl turns to face me “ok now to the music store” I called Leon over, watching wave goodbye to the ponies and catch up with us. We walk to the music store and I had to pick up the pace to keep up with vinyl as we got closer to the music store we finally get to our destination, I browse the shelves with the different artists, most of my favorites where there too, they had van hayling, hay c/dc and Alice hoofer truly something’s are universal I looked over and saw Leon looking at a "Griffin City" Albam and i just rolled my eyes. He has no sense of music. Shortly after vinyl returned with her new headphones in her saddlebag “ok we can go now” I raise an eyebrow at her. "So are you gonna show me what they look like one you?" "They are headphones, not a bucking bikini top, they all look the same. anyway we should probably head back Toby.” “Yeah alright, you coming Leon” “Sure, wait up Toby” After a couple more minutes of walking we finally made it back to the club. Walter greeted us with his usual, yet somehow still classy nod and Octavia simply stared at Leon. “Who’s the new girl vinyl… wait are you planning a three way.” To which me and Vinyl reply in unison “NO” “Ha ha, just messing with you vinyl” I shook my head at both Octavia and the dirty grin that was plastered on Leon's face. Better introduce him before he says something stupid. "This, Octavia for your information, Is..... Pinapple Snap," I chuckled a little at the name which got me a dirty look from Leon. "But he also answers to Leon." Walter nodded and introduced himself and his wife, Moka who apparently was out for the night with a couple of friends, and Octavia introduced herself alot nicer then she had to me. “So pineapple, where are you from” UH-oh “Um toby where did you say where we are from” “Actually he hasn't said either” WARNING: PANIC BUTTON PRESSED, PLEASE BE ADVISED CERTAIN DEATH IMITATE!! “Um we’re from, um los Pegasus, we’re um, stunt ponies, Toby does all the music and lighting, and i'm the manager and public relations pony, well we’re retired now and that’s why we’re here.” please buy it, please buy it “oh that’s pretty cool” YESS SHE BOUGHT IT, good job Leon's brain Octavia then started chatting with Leon for a bit, a fact i noticed he at first loved but as the conversation was solely on classical music, it started to take it's toll on him. Then she asked the question i was wondering how to ask Walter. “So Pineapple, where are you ponies staying “ “Well, I don’t actually have a place to stay yet.” “Well why don’t you stay here, until you find a place to stay.” “Yeah that would be cool” I said trying to hold back a smile Vinyl nodded in agreement. “Ok well the house is pretty full so pineapple you can stay in octy’s room and toby you can crash on the sofa bed in my room” “Sounds good to me” I look around and see Walter giving me a stare that said any funny business and you’re dead “well its getting dark out so pineapple I’ll show you where my room is.” Octavia lead pineapple to her room and they returned a couple of minutes later, Walter had gone to the kitchen and finished making dinner, we sat around and talked about trivial matters, time went by and eventually Walter came back with dinner and served it on the table, we sat around and ate our vegetable soup. Walter finished first followed by me, vinyl, Pineapple and lastly Octavia. “That was great, thanks Walter” I mean it was great although I do wish there was some meat “No problem kid” I let out a massive yawn and vinyl laughs “A little tired are we” vinyl teased “Yeah probably from carrying all your stuff” “All right let’s get some sleep, tomorrow the club opens again and we have to get it ready” “Sure, sounds like fun”, the sarcasm was almost pouring out of my mouth “Come on, Pineapple, we can stay up all night and talk” Leon had a look of please for the love of god SAVE ME plastered on his face and I could not help but laugh at the sight, the four of us head up stairs and into our respective rooms, i look around in vinyls room and spot the couch. “I take it that this is the sofa bed.” “Sofa bed, what are you… Oh that, there’s no sofa bed in my room” “Oh so you enjoyed my hoof on your flank” I said with I mischievous smile “No I just didn’t want you to sleep on the couch, it’s… um… Bad for your back posture” I raise my eye brow. I have no idea I even had those. “Right sure, my back posture” “Shut-up and get in, and no cuddling or getting close, you cross this line and your dead” She draws an imaginary line through the middle of the bed to prove her point, I climb onto the other side of the bed and she gets on hers. “Goodnight vinyl” I said in the most seductive voice I can manage. “Shut-up and sleep.”