//------------------------------//
// 8. Open Up Your Eyes 
// Story: TCB: The Heart of Everything 
// by Madrigal Baroque 
//------------------------------//

Madrigal was oddly distracted over the next few days. She kept hearing Luna's parting words. In her head, in the winds, in half-remembered dreams.

Thou shalt see thy friend later, within the enfolding bounds of fair Equestria, good pony! We shall see it so!

Of course it wasn't real. Everypony had Conversion Dreams. A biker from Vegas had sworn he'd been on his motorcycle with Celestia riding on the buddy seat behind him. A twelve-year-old boy had ridden her through the clouds and danced with her–he'd become an orange pegasus named Sunheart, and he was a fair hand at crafting rainbows.

Conversion Dreams seemed tailor-made for those who had them, a way for the subconscious mind to adapt to a new and very different way of thinking and feeling and being. A rite of passage, transitioning from one race to another, in preparation for a new and hopefully better world.

Maybe COREy really had visited her in the beginning, at least her memory of him had. But the last remnants of him were gone now. The neural lace, the syncports, even her mother's music module, had all been incinerated. 

But it was hard to be maudlin tonight, especially with a lavender pony playing trampoline on her pallet.

"They've set the date!" Lilac was bouncing in her excitement, making the whole pallet shake in a jaunty rhythm.  "A lot of ponies have been going back home to their families or whatever and the Bureau has to have a certain number of ponies ready to emigrate before they can justify sending a transport all the way out to the Barrier, but it's really going to happen. We'll actually be going to Equestria. We're going home!"

"Our forever home," Featherfall agreed. She knew that Lilac was trying to cheer her up because in their group, she was the only one who hadn't yet gotten a cutie mark. A lot of people, human and pony alike, had explained to her that cutie marks come when they come and that it didn't mean there was anything wrong with her, it just meant that she hadn't found her focus yet. Even Chip had his mark–a muffin, what else?  He'd admitted, somewhat shyly, that he'd gotten his mark shortly after his Conversion, because of his baking prowess.  Even as a human he'd worked in the cafeteria since coming to the clinic. Becoming a pony had only increased his desire to help--and, apparently, his culinary skills as well. With a magic all his own, Chip transformed fresh ground flour and eggs and butter and milk from the new shipments into kitchen delights that disappeared onto meal trays faster than the coveted apples. 

As happy as she was for the other members of her herd--her family--Feather still rankled at remaining, after weeks as a pony, a...blank flank.

But Featherfall could not be melancholy, not tonight. There was no talk of cutie marks now. The announcement had come in just this afternoon that the transport would be leaving on the 30th to carry them across the Pacific toward the ever expanding barrier, where they would be able to escape the poisoned and doomed world upon which they had been born, and then reborn.

Everypony was going over their plans. Besides Harmony's healing cottage and Lilac's flower cafe, Chip was talking about finding work at an already established bakery and then taking a muffin cart around whatever city they decided to settle in. "Because of course we're all going to be neighbors, right?" 

"You bet," Lilac said. "You and me and Feather are going to have a sweet little house right next to my flower shop, not too far from Harmony's cottage where she and Maddie will live. It's going to be so much fun! I can't wait!" She started bouncing again, giggling and clopping her front hooves with each jump. 

"Enough!" Harmony caught the lavender pony in her hornfield in mid-bounce. Lilac hung suspended with a comical look of surprise on her face. "It's definitely something to be happy about, but it's getting late, and you've got your advanced cultivation class in the morning. Besides, Wishweaver has asked me to demonstrate some of my herb knowledge to the new unicorns tomorrow, and I need to get some sleep or I won't be able to tell henbit from horse apples." She lowered the subdued Lilac to the floor near the door, where Chip and Featherfall joined her. "Good night, and no staying up till dawn. Lights out as soon as you get to your room. Scoot!"

They scooted. 

A few minutes later, the "lights out, goodnight" chime sounded and the overheads dimmed to softness. Harmony laid down, and Madrigal curled up right beside her.

"So are you going to tell me what's wrong, or do I need to guess?"

"What could be wrong, Halmeonee? We're going to Equestria soon. We'll be able to live out all our dreams. You'll have that quiet little cottage that you've always dreamed about. Did you know Lilac is thinking about naming her Cafe 'Blossom Bites'? I've tried to talk her out of it but she's got her heart set."

"It's her shop, she has a right to call it what she likes. Personally I think it sounds just like her." She nibble-groomed at Madrigal's poll. "What about your dreams? Have you decided what you're going to do when we get to Equestria?"

"I want to be a singer. A performer. Even without my music module, I've got dozens of songs stored in my memory. Hundreds, maybe. I'm not sure they'd all be appropriate for the venue, but I don't want everything beautiful that humanity managed to produce to be lost. I can't carry paintings or statues or architecture with me, but I can bring them music. And I really, really like to sing."

"And everypony loves to hear you. But I hope you don't forget your poor old halmeonee when you're going around making yourself famous."

"I don't care about being famous. And of course I won't forget you! Even if I travel, I'll only be going out sometimes. Just once in a while. I've had enough of being alone. You're my family, the only family I've got. You'll probably get tired of having me underhoof."

"Don't hold your breath for that, or my little red filly will turn blue and pass out." Harmony bit down on Madrigal's curly black forelock and gave it a quick tug.

"Ow!"

"And now that you have utterly failed to distract me, will you tell me what's actually going on with you? I know you're looking forward to going through the barrier as much as I am, but there's something bothering you and I'm not going to let you sleep until you tell me what it is, because otherwise neither one of us  will be able to rest. I need my sleep too, and I'm tired of you kicking me awake like you do every other night."

Madrigal sat up and looked at her grandmother in startled contrition. "Have I been doing that? I'm sorry, Halmeonee."

"Don't be sorry. Be honest."

Madrigal's ears dropped to half-mast, and she ducked her head. "You'll think I'm being silly."

"No sillier than I think you're being now." Gently the unicorn mare nuzzled the troubled pegasus filly. "Talking helps sometimes. So talk."

Madrigal sighed in resignation and dropped her chin onto Harmony's sleek shoulder. "He's…gone, Halmeonee."

Harmony blinked. "Who's gone?"

"COREy. COREy's just…gone."

"Your AI? The one you worked with? You told me you pitched him into the river before you left home."

"I threw away the syncspecs…but I could still hear him sometimes, in my head. Maybe not literally, I mean I never really heard his voice like I did when I was synced with him, but I kind of knew what he would say if I could hear him."

"You're talking about your memory of him. I felt the same way about my husband after he died. I would even talk to him sometimes, out loud, even though I knew he wasn't really there." Harmony smiled at herself. "We'd been  together so long I kind of knew what his opinions would be, what he'd want me to do."

Madrigal's brow furrowed. "I guess it was kind of like that, but not exactly. I could feel him with me, like he was just out of my reach but still connected with me." Her eyes slid shut. "But ever since I became a pony…I don't feel him with me anymore."

Harmony considered this. "You did a lot of integration with the hypernet, didn't you? That was when you worked with Corey?"

"Yes."

"And you had to be…augmented, that's the word, so that you could do your job better. They didn't just punch a couple of holes in your head, they put actual wires all through your brain?"

Madrigal shivered. "Y'know, that was so natural to me before I came here but it sounds so gross now! And it was actually a neural overlay composed of nanotech web, but it doesn't really matter now, all of that stuff came out during…" Madrigal's eyes opened wide and she sat up abruptly.

"During your Conversion," Harmony said gently. "Maybe Corey left some kind of…copy of himself in all that leftover circuitry. So you wouldn't really be alone, so he could help you get here safe. He really was still watching over you."

"He could have uploaded himself into my neural lace. He...he really was still with me." Madrigal buried her face in Harmony's side. "And now…now he really is gone." 

"But he isn't, you know." Harmony very lightly tapped the top of Madrigal's head with the tip of her horn. "So long as you remember him, here, he will still be with you. You spent a long time with that little AI. There's a lot of him that's part of you. If you never forget him, then he will never really be gone."

Madrigal blinked hard, nodded, and nuzzled deeper into Harmony's flank. "I guess you're right." But I still miss him. She closed her eyes and curled up against her grandmother. "G'night, Halmeonee."

Harmony kissed her. "Sleep well, my little angel." She folded her legs around as much of Madrigal as she could (which wasn't much, her granddaughter was half again her size) and laid her head down as well. Maybe she wouldn't be kicked off the pallet tonight.




***


"Swear to Celestia, Maddie cleared out a thirty-foot-wide hole all the way through the smog layer today!" Featherfall was carrying her tray on her back, balancing it perfectly and without any effort as they walked towards their table. "She was making one of those monster whirlwinds of hers and she took it up pretty high to disperse so it wouldn't break any more windows. When she released it, it punched right through the smog on its way to the upper atmosphere! Of course the hole closed up quickly, but for a few minutes we actually saw the sky! And guess what she saw while she was up there?"

"The sun?" Lilac guessed.

"Real clouds?" asked Chip.

"A flying purple people eater?" Harmony lowered three levitating trays to the table. They were for Chip and the other two fillies.

Featherfall took her tray off her back and put it down. "Come on, Maddie, tell them what you saw."

"Juft a fecond." Madrigal put down her grandmother's tray (Harmony claimed she couldn't handle more than three with her hornfield, but Madrigal didn't really buy it) and sat down. She couldn't help being a bit jealous of Feather's effortless grace in carrying her own tray balanced on her back instead of having to hold it in her mouth, This in turn made Madrigal feel miserably  guilty because Feather didn't seem to be the least bit envious about Madrigal's successes in their weather class. "It's not that big a deal, really. It could have been just an errant flash of sunlight off the top of the smog or something. I was too busy trying to control Katrina to take a really good look.."

"She names her whirlwinds?" Chip asked Featherfall, who nodded.

"Ooh, you're as much of a tease as your grandmother!" Lilac drummed her hooves impatiently on either side of her tray. "Just tell us already or I'm going to go pop and there will be little pieces of purple pony flying all over the cafeteria and everypony here will lose their appetite!"

"Okay, okay! Settle down and I'll tell you." At once Lilac dropped into her belly-flop on the cushion and be quiet like a good little pony pose. Madrigal stifled laughter. "Okay. Just for a minute, I saw the Barrier."

Lilac sat upright and stared. "You saw the Barrier? For real and everything? What does it look like?"

"It didn't look quite like what I expected. Everybody keeps describing it as a kind of soap bubble, but I didn't think it looked like that at all. It was more like a clear Temprex mixing bowl turned upside down. The top of it pokes right through the smog layer, and I think it goes all the way up into space, or maybe just below the edge of the atmosphere. It was night time inside. I could see stars, and a crescent moon."

"You saw Luna?" Chip said, his eyes wide.

"Luna isn't the moon, she just controls how it looks and moves. Anyway, the night sky in Equestria isn't black, but a really really deep blue, like a dark royal blue. The stars are all shades of different colors, all about the same brightness, and they sparkle, kind of. And they move. I only got to watch for a minute, but it looked like they were dancing. Or making pictures, or something. I think–" She stopped, staring at the door that led in from the outside hall.

The others followed her gaze.  A group of humans were walking in. This was nothing new. As Doc Pastern had predicted, more and more people were coming to the Bureau, not only from the sprawling slum that had once been San Francisco but from all over the continent. Some had come from even farther away than Maddie. Last week they'd received a family of five from what little was left of Florida.

A dozen or so new arrivals wasn't exactly front page news. But Madrigal looked as though someone had walked up to her and hit her in the face with a large cold wet fish.

"It's them," she said. "I know them–" She got up and hurried towards the group of newcomers.

Featherfall started to go after her, but Harmony stopped her. "It's all right," she said. "She'll be back in a minute." But she watched. She watched very closely.

"Excuse me?" Madrigal spoke to the bent-backed little old lady who was looking around in wide-eyed wonder at the mix of humans and ponies eating and talking and laughing together. 

The rheumy eyes focused on Madrigal. "Yes…may I help you…?" 

"Actually, I, ah, thought I might help you. I can get you to a free table. Just put your arm across my back and I'll help you sit down."

Floor cushions were well beyond the ability of this frail woman to deal with. Madrigal helped her into a regular chair, and the woman sighed with relief. "Thank you, Miss…you are a 'miss' aren't you? You sound like a girl, but one can never tell and I didn't think it would be polite to–ahem–check." 

Madrigal laughed. "It's fine, I wouldn't mind, but yes, I'm a mare. Call me Maddie."

"Why, hello, Maddie. I'm Martha. It does feel good to sit down. The people are so nice here, and they showed us all around, but I liked to walk my legs off. My grandson went to get us some supper. Do you think he can find us?"

Madrigal raised her head. "I think I see him now. Hey, Chad! Your grandma's over here!"

The youth came around carrying trays. After sitting down, he looked up at her and smiled shyly. "Thanks," he said with a nod of his head. "You feeling better, Granny?"

"I'm fine." Martha was looking at Madrigal with curiosity. "How did you know his name? I may not be as sharp as I used to be, but I know I didn't tell you."

Madrigal mentally headhoofed herself for the slip."We've met before," she said as gently as she could. "Under not so pleasant circumstances."

Chad looked completely at a loss, but understanding dawned on Martha's care-weathered and wasted face. "I thought I knew your voice," she said. "That tall, skinny, sassy girl who came out to talk to us. The one Shirley threw that hunk of concrete at. The one who was fixing to fight us. That was you."

Madrigal cringed. "I'm sorry about that. I really did just go outside to talk, but I guess I didn't do a very good job. I didn't mean to make y'all madder, I just wanted you to understand."

Martha forced herself to her feet, reached up and took Madrigal's head in her hands. They were old hands, the joints swollen with arthritis, the veins large and visible, the skin almost as scaly as a lizard's back. Martha's pale gray eyes were both intense… and intensely regretful. "You're sorry? When we found that flophouse and Shirley bullied them into letting us stay, I couldn't sleep a wink all night after all what you did."

"I'm really sorr–"

"Quit apologizing! You didn't know me from Adam's housecat, but you stood up for me, stood up to that ungrateful girl I gave birth to. I didn't even want to come out here and I sure didn't want her dragging Chad into this mess. He's not a bad boy, he was just trying to do what his mama told him to. Shirl bribed a bunch of strangers to come out with us, spent all our going home money, and they stayed with us maybe an hour and then left. Shirl wouldn't let us leave. And then you come out and you try to talk to us."

"I…I almost attacked you," Madrigal said, forcing the words out through lips that shouldn't even speak of such things. "I certainly would have gone for Shirley if Beth hadn't stopped me."

"Shirl threw a rock at your head!" Martha's voice rang out through the caff. Everypony in the room fell silent, watching intently. "She hurt you. She could have killed you. Even so, I know in my heart you were just trying to protect everybody in here."

"No. It wasn't that." Madrigal felt her cheeks flush with shame, but she had to be honest with this woman. "I was angry. Two of my friends were upset. I wanted to make you go away."

"Exactly. You were protecting those you love." Almost unconsciously, Martha was stroking Madrigal's muzzle with her crippled fingers. It felt nice. "Shirl said that's what we were doing…protecting ourselves…but she tried to make Chad hurt you, and when he wouldn't she did it herself. That wasn't right. 

"I had my doubts all along…" Martha sighed and shook her head. "Shirl said I was weak and senile. She said Chad was simple and stupid. We've been stuck here all this time, on account of her foolishness, and yesterday was the last straw."

"Mama took up with a mean bunch of people," Chad said, having finished his soup. "They said they know how to make all the ponies go away. But I don't want you to go." He looked around the room with a happy smile. "I like ponies. I want to be one."

"We can't go home. We have no way to get there. Besides, soon there won't be anywhere to go, will there? Except one place. So…we came here." Clumsily Martha ran her fingers through Madrigal's mane. "Can you forgive us?"

Madrigal put her head over Martha's bent shoulder. A pony hug. "There's nothing to forgive, but if it makes you feel better,  I'l say l forgive you…if you forgive me."

The old woman lifted her knobby arms and embraced the mare's long neck with surprising strength.  They stood like that for a bit, then Madrigal helped Martha sit down again, said her goodbyes and went back to her own table.

Somewhere someone started clapping. Then someone else, somepony else, clopped their hooves. Soon the hall was filled with applause.

Madrigal didn't even react, she just sat back down with her family. She didn't know if the dinner crowd was applauding her, the newcomers, or the simple fact that a fight hadn't broken out. Somehow it didn't seem to matter.


***


It wasn't easy to say goodbye to the Bureau staff. Beth was putting up a good front, but Lynn was fighting tears, and the normally aloof Doc Pastern hugged Madrigal tight and kissed her poll.

"You'll look me up when you get to Equestria, right? I'll be the singing red pegasus who rides whirlwinds, you won't be able to miss me." Madrigal wanted to beg the doctor to come with them, to get Converted right now, but that wasn't the kind of choice anypony could, or should, make for anypony else.

"That would be something to see." Why did Pastern's smile seem so wistful? "I've got a lot of work to do here yet. But I'll be thinking about you, Maddie, and your beautiful songs."

There were fourteen of them boarding the transport ship. Nine Earth ponies, three unicorns, two pegasi. Madrigal followed Harmony up the ramp, Featherfall was beside her, with Chip and Lilac bringing up the rear. 

They had just reached the top of the ramp when tires screeched behind them. There were rattling and clinking sounds, followed by the breaking of glass all around them.

The ramp exploded into flames.


***