I had a nightmare, at first I didn't know I was dreaming and I was with princess Twilight in Canterlot. I didn't seem to notice that I had suddenly been brought back to Equestria, it was all normal to me in my dream.
She said that princess Celestia wished to speak with me, I was nervous about that but I couldn't just blow off the ruler of the nation. I was walking up to the throne room and there was something off about the look the guards were giving me, they looked sad, almost like they were watching someone walking to their execution that they knew was innocent.
Weren't they supposed to remain stoic at all times? What was going on here?
We got to the entrance to the throne room and Twilight couldn't look me in the eye, I asked her what was going on and she sadly said: "I'm sorry Sunset, I really did try to convince her. I did!"
I had no idea what she was talking about but I took a deep breath and thanked her, I entered the throne room and she was there.
I bowed and she told me to rise, when she spoke there was none of the usual warmth that would under normal circumstances be present.
"Sunset Shimmer. You have betrayed everypony who loves you." She began, her voice was ice cold and I immediately knew what this was about, she continued.
"I took you in as my student because I was hoping you would grow up to do great things for equine kind. But I was a fool to think that I could help you grow into a model young mare. You have committed treason, have attempted to murder Twilight Sparkle and her friends, and attempted to use an army of teenagers under your spell to overthrow me and my dear sister. I cannot forgive you, Sunset Shimmer, therefore I must condemn you to Tartarus for your crimes."
My legs were already shaking, I could barely stand due to how bad the shaking was. My throat felt so dry and I could not get my mouth to form the words that I so desperately wanted to speak.
I did, however, manage to croak out a pathetic sounding, "P-Please."
The solar princess wasn't looking at me anymore, "Guards, you know what to do. Escort Sunset to her cell in Tartarus."
At this point I fell to my haunches and I started sobbing, this was my worst fear and it was coming true, I just wanted her to be proud of me. I kept sobbing as the guards put an anti-magic ring on my horn and I cried out for her to please tell me that it was a cruel joke, I told her I was sorry over and over.
She simply looked away, she didn't even want to look at me. It hurt.
I kept crying out that I was sorry even as the guards were dragging me through the castle, I cried out to Twilight and her friends as they watched me with hateful eyes be dragged through the streets and thrown into the carriage that would bring me to where I would spend the rest of my existence.
I kept screaming until my throat gave out, and immediately after I couldn't scream any longer I woke up with a yell and I instantly noticed I was covered in sweat and I'd been crying in my sleep. I took several shaky breaths and looked to the clock on my desk, it was just after seven and the sun was starting to peek over the horizon.
I sat in bed for a while doing nothing besides thinking about that horrific nightmare.
After a few minutes I came to the conclusion that my subconscious was telling me I'd missed signals and they hadn't in fact forgiven me. My breaths were still shaky but I had calmed down somewhat, I had to end my life. I knew I had to, I simply had to figure out what method would be the most painless.
I got up and went about my morning routine sluggishly, I came up with an idea while I was in the shower. I would leap from the roof of CHS, if they hated me so much then I wanted them to see that I was dead, that I wouldn't be a burden to them any longer and they could throw their own 'Sunset's dead!!!' parties knowing that I was burning in hell.
My routine went a lot faster once I knew what I was going to do, I was oddly at peace the fact that I would be gone by sunset. Ironically my namesake was my favorite part of the day, the sky was always so beautiful at that time of evening. I went out to my living room and fed Ray two or three adult live crickets.
"I love you Ray, you know that? You really are my lil' Ray of sunshine."
He didn't respond, which was totally expected. I smiled at him and put my better leather jacket on, I pat my pocket to make sure I had everything I needed. Keys? Check. Phone? Check. School ID? Check.
I threw the journal into my backpack along with some other school books that I needed for the day and I left my apartment for the final time. I was going to walk to school today, mainly because I was going to be late if I tried to wait for the bus, and I didn't need to get chewed out by VP Luna for being late.
That woman scares me, she's the school's disciplinarian which should be expected of her to be intimidating, but I've seen her chase down boys and catch them incredibly quickly, that woman has superhuman powers sometimes I swear.
I hum and walk to school with a smile on my face, when I get to the front lawn I see some of the students stop what they're doing to look at me. I give them a quick wave and walk inside and to my locker, it was graffiti free which was incredibly nice and I had a few notes from various people telling me that they were so sorry and that they hoped one day I'd be able to forgive them.
I shrugged, I'd already forgiven them after the brats confessed, but forgiveness doesn't mean I want to be their friend again. I'm putting my shit away in my locker when I feel someone tap my shoulder, I spin around to see the terrifying woman herself in front of me.
"Oh, hello vice principal. Is there anything you need from me?" I ask, wondering if someone still held a grudge or didn't believe that the movie club were really the ones behind the social media account that tore the school apart.
Luna smiles and shakes her head no, "No miss Shimmer, in fact I was going to ask you if there was anything I could do for you to make your transition back to school a little easier. If you get overwhelmed anytime today I'm giving you a pass to skip your classes for the three days, it should be enough time to adjust back to your regular schedule. I'd like to apologize for not being able to help you during the.. Whole unfortunate social medial scandal. I failed my duty as an educator and as a person."
I felt a pang of guilt because Luna would be one of the last people- if not the last- to speak to me and I know she'd blame herself, I spoke in the context of two situations, one past and one future.
"Vice Principal it's not your fault personally, there's only so much you can do in that situation and I know you did what you could."
"I know, but I should let you get back to what you were doing. If you need anything you know me and my sister's doors are always open to you." And with that she turned and started walking down the hall, "Mr. Dumbbell stop running in the halls."
My task suddenly became incredibly difficult, I felt bile in the back of my throat but I swallowed and kept it down for the time being. I needed to hurry up before I chickened out.
I went to the girls bathroom and splashed my face with water, my mind replaying snippets of that nightmare on loop.
"I think my brain is attempting to murder me." I hissed, balling my hand into a fist and hitting the counter pretty hard, the pain that emanated from my semi-injured hand reminded me to never do that again.
The first bell rang and I took it as my que to get my ass to the roof asap, I power walked through the halls acting as I'm going to be late for class, instead I snuck up the flight of stairs and got myself into the pretty much abandoned area of the school.
Despite being in the clear for the most part I was still incredibly cautious. I was so close to that brittle metal door that held my freedom when someone suddenly grabbed my shoulder.
I tensed up and stood there until I heard the familiar voice of an old friend, he was the last person- well- being that I expected to bump into.
"Sunset? What are you doing up here?"
He let go and I turned around to face him, I am mildly surprised that he is in a janitor's uniform, but it's also unsurprising since nobody can predict Discord. If he wants to be a police officer.. He will be one.
"Discord! I- Um- I was getting some things so I could pull a bit of a prank on some students. What in Celestia's name are you doing here?"
I give him my best mischievous smile but I don't think he buys it, so maybe I'm just a little paranoid, he looked like he did though, but if he didn't he hid it incredibly well.
"Oooor~ Were you hiding some contraband in the school to smuggle to your buddies? C'mon I'm not one to judge, ya just gotta be honest. I was just checkin' in on you Sunburn, making sure you were behaving."
When I visibly relax I think he assumes that is what's happening and pats me on the back,
"Well I won't tell principal Celestia as long as it's not drugs or anything too bad, can't have my friend becoming a drug lord or lady now can I? Not sure she'd even listen to some random handsome man waltzing in and accusing her top student of drug dealing anywho."
I smile at him and shoot him the ol' finger guns in response.
"Pew pew."
Discord laughs pretty hard and disappears in a cloud of cotton candy smelling smoke, it made the whole corridor smell sweet and would no doubt attract attention and I did not want nor need to get caught when I was so close to carrying out my plan.
I drop my fake smile and continue on with what I was doing, I push open the old metal door and get onto the roof of the school. The roof of the school is hideous and is damaged pretty badly, but it is a roof and not a sidewalk and it wasn't meant for humans to walk around on unless for maintenance.
I look down at the front lawn and I notice the discolored concrete, it was pretty obvious where I got with the rainbow laser of friendship during the Fall Formal.
I cringed pretty hard and blushed in remembrance of the whole debacle, sweet Celestia I was an entitled bitch. I got closer to the edge, and take a deep breath. I could tell I'm beginning to chicken out and I mutter a few classical Equestrian curses that a historian taught me when I begged her to know the meaning, poor mare looked horrified that I had overheard her muttering.
I laugh quietly at the memory, I wish I could thank the mare for putting up with my entitlement, in fact I probably owe all of the castle staff a sincere apology.
I hear footsteps approaching the door to the roof and I realize I forgot to close the door and it's likely alerted someone that something isn't right. I turn around, my back is now towards the edge of the roof.
"I need to do this NOW." I scream mentally, I don't need to traumatize more people by forcing them to watch me die.
"Sunset? Oh my God!-"
I look at who's on the roof with me and my heart sinks to my feet, it's her counterpart.
Principal Celestia takes a few steps forward, trying to get close to me so she could pull me back. My hand goes up in a 'stay back!' motion, no doubt my eyes are wide as hell. I really didn't want to have to deal with the principal right now, but fuck my plans I guess.
"Don't." I snap, by now Luna and Ms. Inkwell are up here with me and they all look horrified.
"You can't. Just.. Go back inside."
"No. Sunset you need to-"
"Principal Celestia I'm not asking. Go. Back. Inside."
She shook her head no, "I'm not budging Sunset, please, we can talk about this and you don't need to harm yourself."
Ms. Inkwell is absent from the party of despair that is currently happening on the roof of the school, I heard her heels clicking on the school floor which signals that she went inside. Shit, she was going to call 911.
"I can't." I say weakly and I catch myself trembling, I'm scared and it probably shows on my face right now. Well to be fair I am pants shitting terrified.
"Sunset- Sunset please, you're a very intelligent young lady. There are so many people who care and are willing to help, I promise you will get the help you need." That wasn't Celestia, no, her lips weren't moving, that was VP Luna and her sister nodded in agreement.
I heard the sirens blaring in the distance, it sounded like it was coming closer and I knew I was out of time. I took a deep, shaky breath and I looked at them. "I'm s-sorry. You did everything you guys could, it's not your f-fault." I choke out and lean back, letting gravity take me.
I hear them both scream, it was such an ugly sound, full of horror and sadness. It was the most suffering that I've ever heard vocalized. I didn't get the chance to think on it too much because I hit the ground.
There was a few moments that I felt the worst pain I had ever felt, my whole body felt like I was stampeded by a herd of wild horses and for the few seconds that I was barely conscious I heard the wails of the heads of the school, and then that was it. I heard nothing, I was at peace, I knew that this was the end so I closed my eyes to make things easier on the paramedics.
I was finally free.