Nikolai Berlinski and Equestria, with no Zombies?!?!
By Awesomeman17
Nikolai walked back to Sweet Apple Acres with Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Rainbow kinda liked Nikolai so she went along.
"So tell me Nikki..."
"I hate that nickname, call me Nikolai, Rainbow." Almost reminded me of Takeo.
"Alright, Nikolai. So, tell me, what makes you think I'm like this 'Dempsey'."
"You have same attitude, I think you would be great friends... if you like to kill zombies."
"By the way, how did zombies appear in ya world?" Applejack asked.
"Something about an element called 115 or something."
"115?"
"Yeah, it also powers this thingy." Nikolai took out his upgraded Ray Gun and presented it. Rainbow looked skeptical.
"That thing? That looks like a toy for a little filly."
"No. Look at rock over there and keep looking until I shoot Ray Gun thingy." The mares complied, obviously expecting less.
Nikolai took aim, which was hard because he was drunk, and fired.
Completely missing and hitting a tree behind the rock. The mares were surprised.
"Woah!"
"Did I hit rock?"
"Nah, ya missed. But ya hit a tree behind it and... wow!"
"I did not see tree, but it worked!" Nikolai now had 39 in the gun with 160 spare shots, but he was never good at math.
"That was so awesome!"
"Hell yeah, that was awesome! I am wondering what Tank is doing." Rainbow giggled a little. "What? What is funny?"
"Your friend shares the same name as my tortuous."
"Huh, weird."
Meanwhile, in Griffin Station
Dempsey perked up slightly and Takeo noticed.
"What is wrong, Dempsey?
"I feel like someone made fun of my name."
"That doesn't make sense. Earth is annihirated."
"Whatever, we need to get Nikolai back."
"Oh no Dempsey, for first time in ages, Takeo is happy."
"Whatever, I going to try to get to him, he still owes me a drink." Actually, Dempsey genuinely cared for Nikolai, but he didn't want to show it.
"Fine, I saw the drunk use a Q.E.D. device before he disappeared."
Dempsey sighed and took out his only Q.E.D., "The only chance I got, and it may not even take me to him." Dempsey was not liking this one bit, "You know what, sometimes in life you got to say 'What the hell!' and go for it."
"Fine, we're going back anyway, Samantha wants to upgrade her SPAS-12."
The three went to the teleporter and Dempsey activated his Q.E.D.
Here goes nothing.
A flash happened and the three disappeared.
The drunk and earth pony reached the barn, Rainbow left as soon as they reached it. They were looking at a stack of hay.
"This is where ya will be sleeping, Ah'm sorry if it's uncomfortable."
"It is alright, I've had worse."
"Ah bet."
"Good night Applejack, you remind me of communist ideals."
"Come again?"
"You make me feel equal, exactly as communism should be."
"Oh, all right. Night Nikolai!"
"Good night."
Applejack went to the house while Nikolai layed on the haystack.
This is good, but work is going to be shit.
And like that, Nikolai was asleep.
CRACK!
"Sister, what was that?"
"I don't know, stay here Luna."
Luna nodded as Celestia trotted over to the source of the noise and saw something strange. It was a bipedal creature, had a blond, short-cut mane, had a strange suit on along with a stranger helmet in its left hoof, and it its right, a highly ornate object. The hoofs had digits like claws, except stubbier. It looked at Celestia and talked.
"What the fuck."
-The next morning-
Nikolai was waking up with a familiar feeling in his head.
"Ugg, hangover is really bad."
Nikolai didn't need to hear loud noises, even when he was drunk, he had sensitive hearing. He reached out to grab a bottle from his satchel but then stopped.
Twilight would probably take vodka if I show up to work drunk, shit.
Nikolai reluctantly took his satchel and took it with him, thinking Applejack would hide it for him.
He was at the home when he saw something familiar.
"Applejack. How are you."
"Ah'm good, you?"
"I have hangover."
"Ah know, been there, done that. Heh heh."
Nikolai presented his satchel to the farm pony, "Yeah, hide this for me."
"Why?" Applejack asked as she took the satchel.
"Twilight wants me to work, I have to be..." Nikolai gulped and then said, "sober."
"Ah get it, when ya come back for lunch, ya'll have the best food ever."
"Better be like first wife's cooking, I loved it."
"We're gonna have breakfast, yer hungry?"
"Like a bear before winter."
Nikolai went in house and saw three ponies, a small yellow filly, a big red stallion, and an elderly green mare.
"Nikolai, Ah'd like you to meet the Apple family. This here is mah sister, Apple Bloom."
"Hi."
Nikolai cringed inward, the voice was painful, but he had been through it before.
"Hello comrade Apple Bloom, I am Nikolai."
"This here is mah brother, Big Macintosh."
"Eeyup."
"Not a talkative type, are you?"
"Nope."
"And this here is Granny Smith."
Granny just snored, obviously asleep.
"She is asleep."
"Ah know that Nikolai. Let's eat."
"Okay, let me guess what is for breakfast."
The three siblings looked at him.
"Apple goods."
Yep, he's gonna be trouble.
"How the hell did that scroll appear?"
"Well Dempsey, in this world magic exists, and we ponies have control over it."
"Right, so who's it from?"
"My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle."
"You're a teacher? Never would have guessed royalty would be teaching shit."
"Please watch your language while you are here." Celestia opened the scroll and read it. Her look became amused.
"What, what is it?"
"Well, there is another human in Ponyville..."
"Ponyville, really?"
"Yes, Really. Anyways, we are going over after I write a response."
"Whatever." Dempsey then looked at you, the reader and scoffed at the fact that you are a brony.
"Dammit author, why did this happen?"
Because I thought of it Dempsey, I gave you more time in this fanfiction so enjoy it.
"Fine, asshole."
"Who are you talking to?"
"None of your business."
Celestia deadpanned, but was relieved that somepony would not see her status as a reason to treat her any different. She sent the letter and was ready to leave.
"All right, let's go."
"Finally. Your sister needs to quiet down and learn the modern English language, Christ!"
"Here, it is Equestrian..."
"Whatever, let's go."