I frowned at the double doors before me. I’d thought that asking, “Excuse me, do you know of a place to stay in town?” would lead me to an inn or at least a tavern.
Instead, it had led to a couple of giggling mares, a blushing stallion, and hooves pointed to what had been called ‘the Town Hall’.
Either the mayor had rooms to rent, or the ponies of this town were quite presumptive.
Still, I didn’t have any other leads, and the sun was setting, so I opened the door and poked my head into the large space. Glancing around, I noted a large board that seemed to be made of cork with pages nailed into it. Beside it was a door labeled “Mayoral Office”.
Walking to it, I knocked gently, smirking slightly when I heard a sigh.
“Yes, hello?”
“Hi, sorry,” I started slowly, but I paused when I heard the mare on the other side clear her throat.
“You can go ahead and open the door,” she said with a bit of a smile in her tone.
Snorting, I grasped the handle and turned it, poking my head in.
“Oh,” she murmured, straightening as she saw me, “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting the newest guest of Princess Twilight. What can I do for you… sir?”
“Well, I’m sorry to bother you with this,” I said, slowly opening the door and sitting just inside the threshold, “but I’ve been trying to find a place to rest the night, an inn or tavern, and everyone kept pointing me your way….”
“Oh, are you not staying with Twilight?” She looked me up and down swiftly. “Ah, never mind, I see the problem myself.”
“You do?” I asked, surprised.
“Well, that tree house of hers is only so big,” she said, waving a hoof from my paws to the top of my head, “and you’re a larger creature, no offense. That said, our only inn was closed years ago, and we haven’t had a tavern in a century or so.
“That said,” she said, leaning over her desk, “if Twilight’s sent you off with some sort of stipend, we do have a couple of places for sale if you’d like to take a look. But of course, she didn’t give you enough to buy somewhere outright, did she? We can always discuss a lease-to-own contract if you’re interested?”
Frowning, I started to correct the mayor before mentally shrugging and reaching into my enchanted saddlebags. Fetching out one of the many simple gold coins, I set it on the desk before her.
“I have some, uhm, foreign coins. Are they worth anything?”
The mayor hummed, picking up the coin and cocking an eyebrow at the muted gold shine. Muttering to herself, she pulled a set of scales from a shelf behind her and placed it on the desk. Pulling a coin of her own, she plopped it on one side before placing my coin on the other scale.
Raising both eyebrows, she pulled and placed another of her coins, then one more before the scales evened out.
Roughly.
“Mmm, yes,” she murmured, picking up my coin and looking at the stamped rim before holding it back out to me. “I’d say they’re worth three bits apiece. That said, the apartments I have open at the moment are all around three hundred bits a month, and the smallest house I have on the market right now is priced at twenty-three thousand bits.”
I sighed, scratching my head as I tried to remember what I could about buying a place to live. Usually, it was more about buying a patch of land and building on it, but I’d never had enough coin to worry about it before.
Mentally calculating what I remembered of my hoard, I nodded to myself before recalling a detail from the walk back into town.
“Miss Rarity mentioned a stone abode currently unused?” I asked.
“Yes, that’s one of the ones I had in mind as well,” the mayor said with a nod, opening a drawer in her desk, pulling a thick piece of paper, and unfolding it to show more sheets of the stuff, though they were thinner.
“That’s Matilda’s old house; she sold it to me after she moved in with Cranky. Apparently, it was planned and built by a minotaur who didn’t realize that the house was for a donkey and made it to his measurements, so it should be nicely sized for you.
“Although it is made of stone, so it apparently gets quite cold in the winter,” she read from the pages before looking over my thickly furred chest. “Mmm, not going to be an issue,” she murmured, looking over the scroll. “That said, it was a custom-built house, so Matilda will be looking for complete reimbursement of that on top of the standard price of a house here. It’s a little pricier,” she said when I gave her a blank look.
“How much more?”
Shuffling through the pages, she turned to the last one and glanced at me. “She sold it to the town, at a fair price by the appraisers hired, for one hundred and twenty-three thousand five hundred bits.”
I breathed in softly, letting the number wash over me as I thought about the coins in my bag.
“I don’t suppose you have some weights for your scale?” I asked, pulling my bags off of my flanks.
Turning around in her chair, the mayor made a puffing, huffing noise as she picked up and placed a large wooden box on the desk. Lifting the top, she gestured to a series of gleaming steel cylinders.
“Would you like me to set up the scale for you?” I asked, lifting a paw and gesturing at the largest weight.
She nodded with a smile. “Thank you. This one weighs at what is essentially three hundred coins, one kilogram,” she said, pointing at one of the middling pieces. “Those big ones came with the set, and I honestly believe they’re just for show,” she said, giving them a dirty look.
Chuckling, I took out the weight and placed it in one of the dishes carefully.
“Do you have a bag?” I asked the mare. I watched her flick her ear and glance up at me.
“How big? Are you… Do you have enough for that house in there?” she asked, looking at my saddlebags with a large crease between her eyebrows.
“Princess Twilight enchanted it for me. It’s bigger than it looks.”
The mayor gulped, her irises shrinking as she said, “Ah.” Glancing at the office’s one window, she gave me a look before nodding. Getting to her hooves, she drew the blinds, then the heavy curtains over the window, before trotting to the shelves behind her chair.
Pushing over what seemed to be a random combination of books and trophies, she pushed aside three of the shelves to show a heavy safe. Looking over her shoulder, she raised an eyebrow at me.
I cocked my head at her before she gestured at the bunch of numbers on the door. “Oh,” I said before lowering my head and hiding my eyes behind my paws.
There was a rapid-fire clicking along with five clunks before I heard the door open and close.
“Alright, so I’ve got a few different bags,” the mayor said. Raising my head, I looked at the three burlap sacks on the desk. “This one’s unenchanted and can hold nearly two months’ rent. This second one is big enough to hold enough to buy one of the cheaper houses, about fifty-thousand bits. The third is enchanted to hold larger amounts. Twilight gave it to me in case I ever needed to evacuate town hall, but had enough time to save the finances.”
Reaching into my saddlebags, I pulled out a pawful of gold and set it into the scales, instantly tipping them to my side.
The mayor sighed, looking at a clock on the wall. “Understood,” she muttered, gathering a paper and quill. “The big bag it is. Let’s grab a bigger weight as well,” she said, waving a hoof at the box.
After a series of mathematics and a page full of notes, the mayor threw the bags and a copied sheet into the safe, withdrawing a scroll case from it before closing away the shelves covering it. Giving me the scroll and something called a ‘receipt’, she popped the end of the case and withdrew a key from the top of it.
“Alright, so here’s the key and the deed,” she said, closing the simple case and holding both out to me. “Your receipt is simply proof of what you’ve paid; the stamp marks it as official,” she said, pointing out the small red crest in the bottom middle, “and the house is yours. I believe it’s unfurnished, but….”
She trailed off, looking at the clock. “Ah, I’m sorry, that took longer than expected. Most of the stores in Ponyville have already closed. But I can offer you a cot in our emergency gathering area for the night. It’ll be warm, and we have some emergency blankets here.”
I hummed as I placed the items in my bags, thinking about it, before shaking my head. “I’ll be okay spending a night on the floor. Won’t be the first,” I chuckled. “Ah, but would you mind showing me the house? When you’re done here, of course,” I said, looking at the desk as I waved a paw around the office.
Looking around the room, she sighed before standing from her chair and pulling a pair of simple saddlebags from a peg near the door. “I think I’m done tonight,” she said, opening the door and holding a hoof towards it. “I’ll follow you out; it’s near Sugarcube Corner.”
“I haven’t been there,” I told her as I left the office, pausing near the front doors as she locked the door with a ring of keys from her saddlebag.
“Oh? I’m surprised Pinkie Pie didn’t mention it,” she said, trotting towards me as I exited through the front doors, surprised by how dark it had gotten while I was inside.
Closing them, she locked them as I muttered, “Oh, she mentioned it. And a few other things.”
Chuckling, the mayor nodded before gesturing towards the west. “That does sound like Miss Pie. It’s almost a straight path; just follow that road there.”
We made small talk as we walked, mostly about where I’d come from, until she realized I didn’t want to share too much. I wasn’t sure how much Twilight or Celestia wanted everyone to know after all, and even if they were completely out of their minds, I didn’t really want to anger them.
As we rounded a strangely constructed building that seemed to be made of frosting and smelled heavily of vanilla, a sharp note sounded. Looking around the open space, I saw Pinkie herself standing on top of a statue in a fountain, wearing a strange rounded black cap and blowing into a silver whistle.
“Pinkie!” the mayor shouted, shaking a hoof at her, “I’ve told you no standing on the fountains! You’re too heavy and won’t pay to fix them!”
Pinkie visibly gulped before…
I blinked, raising a paw before rubbing my eyes and looking at the little hat rolling on the ground.
“Did she just…?” I asked, pointing at it.
The mayor snorted and nodded. “Yes, she just jumped into it. Don’t bother trying to pull her out. She’s gone by now anyway.”
“I…” I started, looking back at the round checkered black cap before shaking my head. “Anyway, what do you think the whistle—“
“There he is!”
I sighed at the familiar voice, glancing up as a blue and rainbow streak raced overhead before a purple streak knocked into it. There was a pair of shrieks before one of them landed face-first in the dirt, and the other splashed into the fountain Pinkie had just been balanced on.
I heard the mayor sigh and mutter something about royal compensation before Twilight flung herself out of the shallow pool of water and into the grass surrounding the monument.
“Kiir!” she gasped, flipping herself right-side up before she galloped across the open square, skidding to a stop in front of me and the mayor. “Mayor Mare!”
“Princess,” the mayor murmured, dipping her head.
“Your name is Mayor Mare?” I asked, ignoring the alicorn in front of us as I looked down at the mayor.
She sighed, straightening her neck to look up at me. “It’s a long story that involves a few lost bets, but yes, that’s my current, legal name.”
She looked back at Twilight, putting on a warm, slightly forced smile. “I’m sorry, Princess Twilight. How can we help you?”
“Right, uhm!” she said, stomping her front left hoof. “Kiir! That was extremely rude! I need you to come back to the library and apologize to the princesses, now!”
I felt my eyebrow cocking even as I raised my jaw, looking down my snout at the tiny pony in front of me. How dare she attempt to command me, how dare—
I snorted, blinking and shaking my head.
Looking back down, I frowned at Twilight, meeting her gaze evenly.
“Twilight, if I go back there, then you, Celestia, and Luna are going to attempt to coerce me onto some sort of massive, royal undertaking, spanning the lengths of decades and calling upon previously untapped sources of power and altruism as you attempt to raise me into some sort of celestial good guy instead of allowing me to fall to darkness. Is that wrong?”
Her ears folded back. “I, uh, don’t know for certain?” she muttered weakly, trying to smile at me.
“Uh-huh,” I replied in a monotone. “Regardless, I’m uninterested. In either direction, to be clear. I don’t want to rise, or fall. I want to live.”
I shrugged, raising a paw to scratch at the base of my neck.
“That’s something that I never managed to do before. I even have a house!” I told her, gesturing to the mayor. “Before, I was just another lump of a pony with a horn. But now I have a chance to live among a town of ponies that couldn’t care less what’s on my head or back. I’m not going to give that up lightly, Twilight. Not right now, at least. Now, if you’ll excuse us, I’ve got a house to look over.”
I glanced down and to my right, nodding at… Mayor Mare.
By the sun and stars, that name.
She glanced at Twilight before nodding towards a house across the square from where we were. Straight across from the bakery, nearly.
The rest of the five-second walk was quiet. Even the dirty pegasus settled for a scowl as she walked past us, mud-caked from her chin down her chest.
Pulling the key from my bags, I opened the door and glanced down at the mayor. “Thank you for showing me the way, Mayor Mare. I appreciate it.”
“Of course, uhm, Kiir?” When I nodded, she smiled before nodding across the square. “Well, I’ll be on my way home then. If there’s any issue with the house that I can assist with, feel free to stop by the town hall anytime during regular business hours.”
She put her hoof out, and I gave it a firm bump along with my smile. I watched as she walked away before my eyes were drawn to the three ponies talking rapidly near the bakery. Pinkie’s tail jittered when I glanced at them, and they all three slowly turned to look at me.
“Fantastic,” I muttered, stepping into the house and closing the door firmly, locking it behind me.
Turning around, I got my first good look at the house since I’d been too busy to actually look at the outside.
The inside, as several ponies had mentioned, was surprisingly made almost wholly of stone. That included the mantel and some shelves built right into the walls.
What they hadn’t mentioned, or known about more likely, was that it wasn’t regular cobbled stone or even bricks, but large slabs of artistically arranged single pieces of marble and granite. I got close and ran a claw over the mortar that’d been used to glue the pieces together, finding glittering flecks of quartz in the pale clay.
“No wonder that lady paid for the house anyways,” I muttered, scraping some dust off the top of the mantel.
In the end, the house was, while pretty, empty of any furniture besides the oven and icebox built into the walls of the kitchen counters. Setting my bags by the door leading into an empty room I decided would be the bedroom, I sighed when I heard a gentle knocking from the thick wooden front door.
Walking over, I unlocked the door and raised an eyebrow at Celestia, still robed in her old traveling cloak. Luna was behind her, a slightly grimmer version of Celestia’s sorrowful expression on her muzzle.
“We’re sorry,” Celestia said, bowing her head. “We were surprised by the realities of your being and overreacted. I believe we may have put a bit too much weight behind the stories we told. We don’t expect anything of you, Kiir.”
I waited a moment before raising an eyebrow. “Yet,” I said evenly.
Luna’s expression took a sharp turn towards harsh, but Celestia held up a hoof as she opened her mouth.
“Yet,” she chuckled, nodding. “I’ll admit, not even we have the power to know the future, and the time may come that either your power is too great for us not to ask for, or there arises a need that only you can meet.
“But even then, the only thing I expect— No, the only thing I hope for is that you listen to our request,” she finished, bowing her head.
“Request? Not order?” I huffed.
“No, Kiir,” she said, raising her head to shake it. “Never order.”
“Unless you join the Guard,” Luna clarified.
I looked at her sharply, but Celestia rolled her eyes.
“Unless you go out of your way to choose to join the Equestrian Guard,” she corrected. “We have never ‘drafted’ for our numbers and never will, so you don’t have anything to fear there.”
I relaxed slightly, nodding sharply. “Good.”
Celestia paused for a few more moments before nodding deeply. “With that resolved, I hope that you will not turn away Twilight? She is monumentally curious and wishes to ask—“
I held up a paw, shaking my head. “Perhaps later. For right now, I need to find a clean spot to sleep for the night. Even with my recent awakening, I’m extremely tired.”
“Of course,” Celestia murmured, dipping her head. “Then I wish you a restful night.”
“And you,” I murmured quickly, slowly closing the door so as not to insult them further, before locking it again.
“They’re going to be a problem later,” I muttered out loud before turning and walking back towards the bedroom.