Between A Rock and A Sad Place

by Zaid ValRoa


It ain't broke yet, but damn, it needs fixin’

“C’mon… c’mon…” Yearling muttered, her words muffled by the lantern she held in her mouth. Her hooves scraped against the wall of fallen rocks, dragging across their edges in search of a leverage point. All felt firmly lodged in place, and her frantic search turned into annoyed strikes, each hurting her more than it did the fallen debris. After a particularly forceful hit, a loose pebble found its way to a sensitive spot in the frog of her hoof, sending a jolt of pain up her leg.

Her pained yell filled the small space and, in a fit of anger, she threw her hat at the stubborn barrier. It bounced off and narrowly missed her head, flying off into the darkness.

Yearling pressed her head against the rocks. She closed her eyes and took a few deep, calming breaths. All things considered, she should be thankful she didn’t find herself trapped underground or in a cave. Running out of air would’ve been a real worry had that been the case. Now she just had to worry about starvation and dehydration.

She turned around and rested her back against the debris, slowly sliding down as her anger died and distress settled in. Part of her knew she should’ve waited until sunrise to enter the temple, but one really couldn’t hold themselves when finding the remnants of an ancient civilization, could they?

With a weary sigh, she put down the lantern. The entrance had collapsed in such a way that she was left in a small cavity of sorts, with just enough room to walk around, jump up and down, and welcome the slow embrace of death.

Lovely.

Looking up, she saw her hat had landed a few strides away from her, on top of one of the fallen rocks. She thought about picking it up, but the youthful energy which had once let her perform glides and somersaults through trap-filled corridors seemed to be in shorter supply with every passing year.

Not that she’d ever admit it.

She closed her eyes and let her heartbeat drop back to normal. Deep, even breaths help her body calm down, but the sore spots on her sides forced her to shuffle, looking for a less uncomfortable rock to rest her body. 

“I really should’ve waited until morning.”

Her lower back ached, right in that spot she’d hurt on her trip to Griffonstone last year. Maybe taking her aide’s offer to go to that acupuncture joint would've been a good idea, but she had a tight schedule for this trip.

She should’ve made the time… But the next expedition was always just around the corner. There was always another dungeon. Always another adventure.

She sighed again.

Her lamp bathed the small space with its orange light, giving it a disingenuously warm and welcoming feel. How abhorrent.

Rolling her eyes, her gaze stumbled upon the rock with her hat on it. The contrast of shadows across its rough and mossy surface gave it a rather peculiar appearance. She stared at it for a while, wondering if she should even bother picking it up. It was a rather curious sight, if she was being honest. An old and mossy piece of debris with a pith hat that was just the right size to make the whole thing look comical.

“Don’t suppose you know a way out, do you?”

Unsurprisingly, the rock did not reply.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought…”

Soon, the sound of her breathing filled the room, growing louder and louder with each exhale, making her ears ring. That wasn’t doing much to improve her mood.

“It’s odd that it took me this long to find an archaeological site that fell apart on me so quickly. They’re usually in top shape until some hidden mechanism gets triggered. Though I suppose that with the alpaca tribes being gone for the last two centuries there was no one left to look after this place.”

A shame, really. 

The Alpaca Empire was one of the most isolated cultures in this part of the world. Each remnant of its civilisation was a treasure trove of mysteries and ancient knowledge. Just being able to set hoof in one of its last hidden fortresses was a dream come true to any archaeologist worth their salt.

Which made it particularly galling when its entrance collapsed on top of her the moment she set a hoof inside.

“I’m never going to hear the end of this…” she said, already imagining the stern talking the dean would give her when she returned to Equestria. Then again, few things could compare to the time she almost got her degree revoked after destroying that temple with the Sapphire Statue. Couldn’t even blame Ahuizotl for that one.

Her eyes once more were drawn to the hatted rock. “Say… did you know the royals back then? You must have seen some amazing things. This was an imperial city, after all. Anything for the history books?”

Silence.

Sigh.

Now that she really looked at it, the rock was quite mossy. It must have been part of that wall for centuries. That dull throbbing in her back came back, and she groaned as she tried to move around. What was it that the doctor had told her? Something about getting a cloud bed to ease the pressure in her back. Yeah, as if making one of those in every exotic location she visited was feasible. She got tenure nearly a decade ago, though. Maybe the university would be willing to pay for one.

Would they pay for a rescue mission? Would they pay for one in time? Those took days to organise, even in the best case scenario.

She shifted in place again. Despite her eyes wanting to go over the fallen boulders once more, they were drawn to the solitary hatted rock.

Silence. She could do something about that, at least.

“So… how is the monotone life? Safe and boring?”

The lamp’s light flickered, but the rock didn’t react.

“Hm... Yeah, I’ve got enough of that ‘Time to settle down, Yearling’ nonsense back in Equestria, too.”

She huffed and laid her head against the wall of fallen rocks. Distant whispers of well-meaning colleagues wormed their way from the confines of her mind where she had spent the past who knew how many years burying them.

“I don’t know… I just don’t see myself in my fifties giving lectures at a university hall.” She punched one of the rocks behind her. “I’m kind of the opposite of this temple. Always in motion, and I‘ll crumble the moment I stop.”

Shadows danced around them as she lifted the lamp with one hoof. She eyed the wall opposite to her. The rocks there seemed smaller and hopefully more manageable. With a pained grunt, she stood up and walked towards the other side.

She traced the edges of the rocks with her hoof, trying to find a loose one. “I always pictured I‘d die on one of these journeys, you know? That’s why all my books have self-contained plots.” She threw a glance over her shoulder at the hatted rock. “It’d suck for the readers to get invested in a big overarching adventure just to be left hanging because I took an arrow to the side in some forgotten temple by the Marengeti.”

The rock’s continued silence made her roll her eyes. Everyone’s a critic.

Once she reached the point where the carved rocks met the mountain, she saw the many cracks running over its surface. There was some small solace to be found in knowing that—worst case scenario—she only sped up the inevitable crumbling of this part of the fortress instead of directly causing it. Which, by itself, was a rather depressing thought. She couldn’t help but feel bad knowing it was doomed to fall apart either way.

She flexed her wing a couple of times. It hurt a bit, but she’d taken worse over the years.

“I bet you didn’t see this coming, did you?” she asked the rock, her eyes not leaving the cracked mountainside. “It just caught you off guard. Everything was as it always had been, but one day, it all came tumbling down.”

The rock silented in agreement.

Yearling replied with a huff. There was a thin space between some of the rocks and the mountain. Not much, but it offered a possible leverage point. She tried sliding her right hoof in that space, but it wouldn’t fit. Nevertheless, she managed to find enough of a grip to try pushing the rocks. No matter how hard she tried, though, they wouldn’t budge. After one hard shove, she lost her footing and her hoof slid across the rock, hitting herself on the adjacent wall.

“Gah!” The pain was as intense as it was quick, and after a few seconds, only a faint throbbing remained.

Tumbling down, indeed…

In a display of rock-like behaviour, Yearling dropped to the ground with a groan. Sweat was starting to form on her brow, much to her displeasure. Dehydration was one of the last things she wanted, seeing how she couldn’t do anything to fight it with her canteen somewhere under the rocks.

“The guides were mostly Earth ponies and mules. I’m sure they would’ve done a short job of these rocks,” she said. Groaning as she cradled her aching hoof and slid back to where she’d been sitting. A cursory glance told her the damage wasn’t any bigger than a few chips and one edge that got a big scratch… It appeared she wasn’t able to move those rocks on her own. “Hmmm… I wonder if that acupuncture place also does hooficures.”

If thinking about the stuff she regretted before going on this trip wasn’t a sign that she was getting pessimistic, she didn’t know what it would be. Turning back, she eyed the floor for anything she could use to help push her way to freedom, only to find that same rock with her hat on it.

“Better do your best to live without regrets before that time comes, huh? You probably don’t have any of those.”

Another sigh. Another grunt. Another minute that passed. Another conscious effort not to let her mind wander to unsightly places. But, then again, if you’re told not to think about something, that something becomes the only thing in your mind.

Expeditions yet to be scheduled. Lectures she kept postponing. A couple of journeys that were never turned into books. Archaeological conventions she never attended. Letters to which she never replied. Appointments for dinner she always declined.

Should have. Could have. Would have.

“Getting stuck here would be a big regret, I’ll say that much,” she mumbled. Throwing a sidelong glance at the rock, she continued, “Nothing against your home, but it’s definitely more of a tourist destination rather than permanent residence.”

Her eyes scanned the opposite wall of debris, looking for what, she wasn't sure. Hope, she supposed. As if in response, the light of the lamp flickered. Probably the only way to make her current situation worse would be if she was also trapped in darkness.

"Then again, I haven't thought of Equestria as my residence for a few decades." She closed her eyes. "Add to the regret pile how I can't remember the last time I spent more than one semester there."

Silence. A breeze. Another flicker of the lamp's flame.

"Probably for mom's funeral," Yearling uttered into the silence. Somehow, the orange light of the lantern wasn't enough to keep the warmth around her, anymore. How long had it been already? It seemed every event in her life was counted in years nowadays.

She looked down at the rock again. The hat still looked out of place on top of it. Really silly, all things considered. Then again, she probably looked just as silly when her mom had put a similar hat on top of her head when she went out on her first field trip back in the first semester of archeology. Field trips that she would later lead, and much later would turn into a lifestyle.

And then… what? What awaited her beyond the rubble? “Another day, another dungeon” had been her motto since her youth.

Another sigh. Another moment passed.

She brought her hoof down and poked the rock. It was cold to the touch. She kept staring until her already taut features morphed into a frown. With a strong huff, she stretched and stood up, ignoring the light twinge of pain on her scratched hoof.

“Well, as fitting as it would be to have Daring Do’s final resting place be an ancient temple, I have no intention of dying here.” she whispered, unsure of what her next course of action should be. Either short or long term.

Other than getting out of there, that much was obvious. Nevertheless, she wasn’t going to sit and wait for things to happen. She never had, and she wasn’t going to start anytime soon.

“Come on, Yearling. Think. Think.”

The wall of rocks seemed insurmountable. Fallen debris, big and small, all piled on top of each other, seemingly held together equally by friction and defiance. Well, she didn’t make it this far without being a little defiant herself. She’d gotten out of elaborate traps and hopeless situations before. This was nothing.

She had no rope to pull them. No sticks to use as a lever. A scratched hoof. An increasingly aching body.. No alternatives jumped to her mind. Stupid debris. Stupid big, heavy debris.

She blinked and looked back at the rock with her hat, her eyes widening as an idea formed in her mind. That one rock was certainly smaller than the ones she’d tried to move.

Maybe… Some of the lower rubble was loose, but they were too heavy to move. Perhaps the ones near the top, the smaller ones, would offer less resistance. And less chance of collapsing again, now that she thought about it.

It was worth a shot.

She shook her front hooves and unfurled her wings. With a gentle flap, she rose to the ceiling of the small cave. No noticeable cracks, as far as she could feel. What’s more, she could feel a gentle breeze coming through some of the gaps. 

With renewed vigour, she started going rock by rock, gently prodding each to find any that was loose enough to push. Most could move just enough to give her hope, but soon proved to have too little room to actually be pushed out. She just needed a bit of wiggle room, just some space.

Press. Push. Nothing. Repeat.

She had to stop and close her eyes as she caught her breath. She had to stay positive. With a decisive nod, she opened her eyes and slid her hooves closer to the side of the wall, towards the slight gap between the rocks. 

Her heart almost stopped when she felt the grinding of hard rock against hard rock.

She made sure to keep her wings beating at an even rhythm. Without any external support, she had to rely on her wingpower to keep her steady and help her push. Her breathing hitched as excitement coursed through her. Double checking to make sure there was no risk of the other debris falling upon her, she kept on pushing. The scraping sounds felt like encouraging cheers. Her back and wings groaned in pain, complaining as it objected to the strain, but she paid it no mind.

She could feel the rocks around her rumble, but she didn’t stop. She was too close.

Finally, gravity pulled the rock the rest of the way. It landed with a heavy thud on the stone floor outside, but to her ears it may as well have been a fanfare. She didn’t let herself be overwhelmed by positivity, however. She remained still, gently flapping her wings to remain airborne until she was sure there wouldn’t be another collapse.

Only the barest hint of moonlight could be seen beyond the makeshift entrance. Princess Luna might be getting ready to lower the moon. The resulting opening would be a tight fit, but she'd squeezed through thinner corridors in her lifetime. She could do this.

A wave of relief washed over her, causing her to fall to the ground. She hadn’t realised how out of breath she was. Or how sweaty. It mattered little, though. She’d take a bath once she was back at the camp, and let the team take care of the rubble.

Before she could let herself feel too optimistic, she glanced around the surrounding rocks. Thankfully, they seemed to be holding, but she was not going to stick around to see how long that would last.

With joy coursing through her veins, she looked back at the rock. “You know…” she said between deep breaths. “I’m probably going to get in trouble for going off on my own and causing”—she waved a hoof around her—”all of this… But hey, what a problem to have, eh?”

She smirked at the thought of her aide chastising her for speaking so openly to a rock when he’d been harping her to visit the university’s psychologist for the past six months. She wasn’t against the idea, really but, once more, there was always another expedition scheduled right away.

Well… Dealing with the fallout from this debacle was going to take her some time. Maybe she could—would—schedule an appointment for that instead. After she went to that acupuncture place. This little detour seemed to have taken its toll on her body, and she was not going to put up with that…

Smiling, she stood up and grabbed her lamp. In doing so, she glanced down. The faint moonlight blended with the light from her lamp, bathing the rock in a curious mixture of shades and making it seem livelier than it had all this time.

“Yeah… Sorry to say goodbye just as we were getting to know each other,” Yearling said, somewhat sardonically, not knowing if her opening up to a rock was more ridiculous than the fact she apparently was stressed enough to do so in the first place. Whichever the case, the smallest hesitation ran through her as she stood in front of it. The mirth and ridiculousness of the situation proved to be infectious, and soon enough she found herself laughing out loud.

“You turned out to be cheaper than a therapist, pal,” she said with a smirk on her face. She kicked off the ground and gently flapped her wings, floating in place above the ground.

As far as wake up calls went, this had to be an odd one. Part of her already dreaded the long discussions she was sure to have with her editor about how to include this bit in the next novel. The rest of her just felt... calm. Better to realise now that she couldn't neglect everything else in her life than way down the line, when she could do nothing about it.

Before squeezing her way out, she held the lamp on her hooves and—without looking back—she spoke over her shoulder, “You can keep the hat.”

There was no way of knowing if tomorrow would hold another dungeon or something else, but it mattered little. She would face it head on anyway.