“Day one at the cottage,” Twilight wrote into a journal using her horn. She thought for a moment but just as she was going to write, there was a knock at the door.
This startled and disgruntled Twilight. She was supposed to be at the cottage for peace and quiet, how could people be barging in on the very first day? She got up sullenly and shuffled to the door. She was apprehensive so she pulled the stiff, blue curtain fabric away from the circular door window to see who was on the porch.
Applejack was at the door. Twilight saw Rainbow Dash approaching quickly as well with Fluttershy trailing listlessly behind her. They all perked up when they saw Twilight’s face but that just made her want to hide. She wondered if they would be able to talk about anything other than what happened. She would’ve rather talked about anything else.
She backed away from the door to open it gently. She couldn’t muster a smile but she wanted to greet them kindly. “Hey guys, I’m just staying here to clear my mind.”
Applejack was the first to speak. “Howdy there, Twi… We just wanted to come check on you and you know, provide some company as long as you’d see it fit,” Applejack was looking straight at Twilight but she struggled to maintain eye contact without reciprocation.
“Yeah, guys, come on in,” Twilight opened the door a bit more. Everypony, including herself, felt shocked by her admission. She figured she could use the friendship, and everyone else figured Twilight was only letting them in because she was too defeated to say no.
The crowd walked into the little cottage and awkwardly hung around the front door. Twilight told them they could have a seat wherever was comfortable, so they each chose somewhere comfortable in the living room area to plop themselves down. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were surveying their cozy surroundings, but Fluttershy was so anxious about this visit that she could barely look up from her hooves. Her rosy hair covered her grimace as silence hung all around them.
“So, Twilight, how are you liking it here?” Again, Applejack was the first to speak. This seemed to be a pattern for her, and Twilight figured that she was uncomfortable with silence.
“It’s okay.”
“What about the woods? Have you gone exploring yet?” Rainbow Dash was trying to make lighthearted conversation that was reminiscent of their usual interactions to soften the tension. At this point, she felt guilty for the confrontation after the tragedy and she just wanted to make Twilight comfortable.
“Not really.”
“Man, it sure is pretty here! I bet you sleep real well at night,” Applejack mustered a warm smile and nodded her head.
“I don’t.”
The ponies sat without speaking for several moments. They had never known Twilight to respond in these short, apathetic remarks. It perplexed them and made it hard to choose what to say next. They got the sense that maybe Twilight didn’t even want them there in the first place. She didn’t.
She was internally chastising herself for this because she loved her friends and she knew the dangers of isolation. She wanted so badly for things to return to normal, but she couldn’t stand to allow her brain to turn back on. If she wanted to be able to survive this mess, she would have to keep her mind as static as possible. Any stimulation was enough to send her deeper into her chasm. She felt guilty for how she was talking to her friends, but she was genuinely trying her best to engage without stirring anything up for them or herself.
“Twilight wants to be alone,” This was the first time Fluttershy had spoken the entire time, and she sounded miserable. Her tone was level but it was deep and so quiet, and she was audibly overcome with emotion. Everypony knew it was because of how Twilight practically abandoned her in the showroom, combined with Twilight inadvertently subjecting Fluttershy to witnessing the first corpse she’d ever seen. Fluttershy didn't mean to hold it against her, but she was doing a good job for how she felt.
The room went quiet. Twilight knew they were waiting for her response, but she couldn’t agree out loud. Fluttershy was not wrong.
“Well, Twilight?” Rainbow Dash offered.
There was another brief silence. “Yeah,” Twilight said in a small, muted voice. She was steadily staring at a cushion adjacent to Applejack. The ponies sat waiting for elaboration, but when they realized that was all Twilight had to say they all started to get up from their seats.
“We’ll visit again soon, okay? We will bring you some stuff to make this place even cozier. Some home-cooked meals, and some books to read. Make it less of a sensory deprivation tank in here. Let us know if there’s anything we can do for you in the meantime, okay?” Applejack was saying this on her way out. She felt horrible for Twilight.
“Thank you,” Twilight hadn’t left the same seat she was in the entire time. She wouldn’t leave that seat until the sun was rising in the sky the next morning.
When that did eventually happen, she left to go from the seat to the bed, where she would doze the day away. Any time she woke up, she just went straight back to sleep if she could manage to. She was hoping to escape, but her nightmares were constant and vivid. Still, it was a relief to wake up and know none of it was currently happening. It was also agonizing to know it did all happen, and even more agonizing to be awake.
Twilight felt immature for her reaction. She wanted to take control, she wanted to hang out with all of her friends, she wanted to be able to get out there and get to the bottom of what happened, but she was just so absolutely gutted that it didn’t matter what she wanted. She simply could not. So now, not only was external control proven to be a farce, but so was her internal control. The control she had over herself.
-
It was around three days later when the ponies showed up to the cottage again. Twilight was lying curled up on the floor staring at the rug that was underneath her. Her eyes traced the patterns but there was nothing behind them. Then, she heard a knock. She immediately knew who it was, and she felt sick to her stomach. The pressure of wanting to be her best for her amazing friends was so intense, and she knew they were traumatized too. She just didn’t want to offend or disappoint them and it was like she had no control over herself. She was terrified to open the door, but she did anyway. There they all stood, looking brighter than before and bearing many gifts. The gifts were aromatic. Twilight recognized the smells of apple pie, hay, and homemade soup. Her mouth watered almost painfully and she realized she hadn’t eaten since the party.
She opened the door wider without saying a word but this time she was able to curl the corners of her mouth up slightly. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy entered timidly and stayed silent themselves. Once they were all in the house, Twilight shut the door behind them.
“Thank you guys,” She said politely. She felt proud of herself for socializing in a positive way.
“Do you feel any better?” This question was asked particularly softly and came from Fluttershy, which slightly surprised Twilight because she was entirely convinced that Fluttershy wanted nothing to do with her after the fiasco. Still, she had no idea how to answer the question. Her first reaction would’ve been to say no, absolutely not. But she was having an easier time being around her friends.
“I suppose I do,” Twilight offered with uncertainty.
“Twilight, something really bad is happening,” This came from Rainbow Dash. Twilight snapped her head towards her and she felt her heart sink all the way down with sonic speed. They looked at each other with burning intensity.
“Well, I know that,” Twilight whispered.
“No, something more,”
“Rainbow Dash! We agreed not to bring it up!” Applejack seemed appalled.
“We need her help!”
“We don’t need Twilight’s help right now, Twilight needs ours.”
The room became very quiet and still. Twilight’s eyes darted from one pony to the next. She felt herself becoming overwhelmed.
“Guys, what is going on?” Twilight demanded faintly but sternly.
All three ponies were looking at Twilight with varying levels of apology. Twilight attempted to control her breathing and slow her heart rate without showing it.
“Twilight, there’s weird stuff happening all around Equestria. Bad weird,” Rainbow Dash was hushed and serious, a type of expression that was rather unusual for her.
“What, Discord is being an asshole again?” Twilight flatly spat. Everypony looked taken aback.
“No. It’s not Discord. We know that, but we don’t know who it is.”
“If you don’t know who it is, how do you know it’s not him?”
“Well, firstly, it’s not that type of weird. It’s worse. Secondly, he’s trying to help us.”
Twilight considered this. “Fine, then what’s happening?”
Rainbow Dash stepped forward a few steps to be closer to Twilight. She looked grimly serious and it took her a few moments to gather her words. Finally, she swallowed and spoke – “Ponies are dying. Woodland creatures are dying. Everything and everypony is disappearing one by one, and it’s been happening every day since the tragedy at Pinkie Pie’s party. We’ve never seen anything like it. It is undoubtedly the greatest tragedy Equestria has ever suffered. We need your help, with your help we will have a better chance of saving Equestria. Please help us.”
Twilight’s response was immediate and loud. “No,” She projected her voice so that it echoed slightly.
This astounded everypony in the room. Even Fluttershy looked up through her hair. Applejack was visibly upset with Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash tried to argue but Twilight continued before she could even get a word out. “Why would me being there help anything? It sounds like you guys just want me to fucking kill myself.”
At this, Fluttershy abruptly got up and left. Nopony saw it, but she had been silently crying since Rainbow Dash explained what was going on. Her hair obscured the soaked yellow fur on her cheeks. Applejack and Rainbow Dash followed her with their gazes and lingered on the doorway she didn’t bother to close as she fled from it. After Fluttershy was out of sight, they returned their attention to Twilight seemingly simultaneously.
“You know you’re not the only one who was affected by the tragedy,” Rainbow Dash spat.
“Why wouldn’t I know that? I was literally there,” Twilight was surprised by her own words and regretted them as soon as they left her mouth. She felt like she had no volition. Words just fell out like wet, warm sand.
“You act like you don’t even care and it’s breaking all of our hearts!” Rainbow Dash was being apologetically confrontational yet again.
“Maybe I am so focused on trying to get back to normal that I can’t!”
“If you can’t care, then why are you even trying?”
Applejack told Rainbow Dash to stop, but Rainbow Dash had already done it. Twilight used her horn to fling a bookshelf from behind her past Rainbow Dash’s head and it crashed loudly into the dining room table, shattering the glasses that littered it from Twilight never cleaning up after herself anymore and sending dusty old books in every direction.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash gawked at Twilight. Nobody said another word. Applejack and Rainbow Dash just left through the door which had stayed ajar since Fluttershy’s storming off. As soon as their hooves were over the threshold of the door, Twilight used her magic to slam it as hard as she could behind them.
Frames fell off of the wall.