Joy upon joys, harvest time had finally rolled around. The stalks were turgid, the leaves were vibrant, and the berries were huge, all exactly as usual. The sun was shining brightly from right above our heads, with not a cloud in sight, leaving the sky a brilliant blue like an enormous sapphire. Again, as usual.
Less usual was the presence of two new farmhands at my beck and call – Hooves and his wife, digging in with gusto right next to me, coaxing the potatoes out of the earth with experienced hands – hooves, excuse me. My icebox had been moved into position behind us, and was slowly but steadily filling up. Anything that wasn't perishable, like the potatoes in front of us, went instead into baskets and barrels, provided courtesy of Construct.
Hooves and his family had only been here for two days, but I was already convinced of their industriousness. I had only asked for his help today, with the harvest, with the intention of letting him take a day to familiarise himself with things here. Instead, when I came to informing Construct of my next plans, the previous day, I'd found Hooves alongside her, helping set up the lumber mill, doing enough work to count for three ponies. Bloody madman, is what he is. Deft Green, on the other hand, had taken the opportunity to demonstrate her considerable culinary abilities, but had otherwise spent the day doing little.
Speaking of yesterday, I had been quite busy, myself. Construct had seen me demonstrate how I had sown my fields, so that was mostly sorted. I'd caught her muttering something about wonky seeds as I'd done so, which quite effectively prevented her from blowing a gasket when I'd just dropped (or buried) them in the trenches. I still had no idea what was up with that whole business.
Construct was now focusing mostly on her workers' barracks. Already, a second building was finished. A section in it had been cordoned off for Hooves and his, until a proper house could be built for them. I had only counted four tents still standing, which the third should finally fix once and for all. Then, some real work could begin. Health, weather and water were still pretty low on the bucket list, but once we got a decent surplus of food and shelter I was probably going to start focusing on them much more.
The rest of yesterday had been spent at my desk, poring over my notes. Blueblood had sent my letter to Celly, via some kind of magic telegram or something, and I was now awaiting her response. Afterwards, it was mostly just busywork, done so I wouldn't have to scramble to do it later; things like commerce, transport links, some basic emergency plans, and so on.
Today, though, was a day for the field. We'd already gotten all the leafy greens, the radishes and beetroot and strawberries, etc. etc. which had not taken too long. All that was left now was the potatoes... and the grain.
"Ah hav'ta say," said Hooves, not turning at all from his digging. Turns out Appleloosan folk were pretty big on small talk during work. "Ah didn't expect one person ta need so much land fer their food."
"Most of it wasn't for food," I replied. "When I started out here, this field was about a tenth of the size."
"So why'd ya expand it so much?"
I smirked. Whoa there, brain, don't take all those out. "Well, as it turns out, it was a lot easier to build a still than I thought it would be. Just had to figure out how to fill it properly, after that."
"Yer a moonshiner?" Deft turned her head to me in surprise. Hooves was too busy with his work to offer more than a raised eyebrow, though. "An' ya got away with it?"
My turn to raise my brow. "Got away with it?"
"Ya... oh, ya get a permit?"
"Permit?"
"...Ya need ta petition the Crown ta set up a private distillery," said Hooves, flatly.
Oh. "...I didn't know that." Only suspected it. I had, after all, set up the still in the forest, rather than anywhere near my house. Just in case there really was an Equestrian Prohibition. The prices my alcohol usually went for appeared to support that notion: I was able to make a comfortable living doing it, after all. Turns out I could just have asked Celestia nicely. Well, too late now anyway. "I'll just legalise it here, and forget about it." Probably can afford to move it closer, now, too.
One more row of potatoes was clear, only two more to go. I dumped my produce in a basket behind me and scooted forward to the next row. "What made ya move from Canterlot?" asked Deft.
"Bah," I dismissed. "Big city's no place for me. Ten years in a foreign metropolis was more than enough, thank you kindly. Less to worry about, that way. Besides, Canterlot's full of twats anyway."
"Too right," Hooves said immediately. After a short pause, he scooted forward to my level, done with his previous row. "Bunch'a prissy frou-frous, don't know the first thing about a real honest day's work. All they know is fancy titles and posh suits."
"Mmm." Big surprise, the country yokels didn't like the upper class.
"'Least the Princess helps keep'em in line," Deft chimed in, to Hooves' nod.
"As the only one who can, no doubt," I said. The last row of potatoes sat in front of me now, ripe for the taking. I had to savour this as much as I could. "Better than some of the upper classes we had back home, at least."
"Back home?" Both Hooves and Deft echoed. "What d'ya mean?"
"We didn't have any immortal benevolent rulers back home," I spoke, lost in my work. "All we had was good ol' humans. Sometimes we'd get lucky, and get a good, competent guy in charge, only to lose 'em forty years in from disease, or old age, or whatever. Assuming the nobles didn't get sick and off 'em early for someone they could control. We moved past monarchy pretty decisively, because of it." I glanced up at them briefly. "You folk are very lucky you got someone like Celestia at the top, you know." The conversation trailed off after that.
Eventually, we had struggled our way through the entire potato field. I stood up, along Hooves and Deft, and stretched the kinks out of my limbs and back. The containers behind us stood beautifully full. I nodded my approval to myself. "Alright. Only one more fuckin' crop to go." I didn't bother disguising my grimace.
"Yer not a fan of wheat?" asked Hooves, bemused.
"I'm not a fan of having to cut it with safety scissors, no," was my answer. It didn't really help Hooves much, I saw, his confusion only growing wider.
"Scissors?"
"This may come as a surprise to you, Steady Hooves, but the hamlets nearby are terribly possessive of their agricultural equipment." Bitterness dribbled from my mouth like terrible custard. "They wouldn't even take two thousand for a sickle. Greedy buggers, eh? Shame I didn't think to get any from Canterlot before I left. Assuming anyone there would stoop so low as to sell peasant tools, that is."
"Why didn't ya try Los Pegasus?" asked Deft.
"Los Pegasus?" Really? "The famously agricultural pegasi cloud city?"
"Doesn't mean they won't sell it," countered Hooves.
Well, he had me there, I had to admit, though I still shook my head. "Doesn't matter now, anyway," I said. "I've made do without it. Just... really, really slowly. Come on, I'd rather just get this over with."
With crappy scissors in hand, we began clearing the wheat, one torturous group of stalks at a time. Steady and Deft were a huge help, honestly, grabbing about twice as much at a time as I could alone. It was still grim work. My mood was rapidly spinning down the shitter, as the day grew hotter and more humid and the field seemed to stretch on forever, even though I knew it was only about seventy square metres.
Each bushel of wheat was hard-fought. The sun only grew hotter and the air only grew wetter. 'Put yer back into it,' Hooves had told me, which didn't serve as very effective motivation. The stack of bushels' growth became slower and slower.
Two hours in, and I was close to collapse. Deft and Hooves, on the other hand, didn't seem much out of it at all, which only served to touch me off more. We had gotten less than half of the way through.
"Fuck me," I panted, wiping yet more sweat off my forehead. "This shit is killing me, man. Fine fuckin' day for a heatwave, ain't it."
"Believe me, son," said Steady Hooves. "This is nothin' compared to what we had in Appleloosa."
"I'm sure." Jackass. "I'd rather take a surplus of Siberia than tiny Tashkent, any fucking day of the week. Just you wait until you see me running around shirtless in winter, ya smug prat."
"Sire?"
Huh? Apparently Lyra had snuck up behind me while I was busy wringing myself out like a dishcloth. Turning around only revealed her concern to me, evident in her look. "Ah, yeah, what is it, Lyra?"
"It... is getting quite hot outside. Are you sure it isn't best to come back to your work in a few hours' time, when it will be cooler?"
"No can do, Lyra." I stuck a thumb out in Hooves' direction. "Otherwise Captain Pillock over here might upstage me on my own property. Can't have my illustrious reputation ruined by some rural twat, now can I?"
Lyra's face twisted into something I couldn't recognise. "...Are you sure you are well?"
"Fuck no," was my immediate reply. "It's too damn hot out. Didn't stop my parents from chopping firewood, though, and it's not stopping Steady. And it ain't gonna stop me." My traitor body chose that exact moment to fizzle out, my collapse only stopped by Lyra trying to catch me with her aura – which, of course, fizzled out the moment it tried to latch on, leaving me to merely stumble forward, right into her. "Whu-oah!"
"Oof!"
Ouch. Slamming into the ground was an unpleasant experience, no matter which way you try to twist, which is why I was fortunate enough to land on top of Lyra instead; making it only slightly embarrassing instead of also quite painful. It took me a few to realise that Lyra might not have gotten off as lightly as I did. "Oh shit!" I rolled off onto my back as quickly as I could, bumping my arm against one of the baskets as I did.
"...ugh," groaned Lyra, stumbling to her hooves, rubbing at her horn, no longer encumbered by yours truly. "Don't take this the wrong way, sire, but you are much heavier than you look."
"Mister Inns!" Only now did Hooves and Deft decide to rush up to me, looking down on me with concern. "Are ya alright?"
An excellent question, I mused, feeling the first specks of a headache forming. Let's see... spent the last three hours and change working in baking heat, cutting wheat with scissors, severely dehydrated, tired, sleepy, in need of a second coffee, worrying about feeding people who are now my responsibility... nah. Definitely not okay.
"You know what?" I pushed myself up to a sitting position with my elbows. "No, I'm not. I... I could probably use a break." Lyra very helpfully offered herself as an armrest, as I pushed myself into standing against her. "Sorry, Hooves, but I gotta ask you to finish this off for me. I ought to make sure I don't keel over in the next thirty minutes."
"No problem," said Hooves. "Ah'll get this done in a jiffy, an' no mistake. Don't overwork yerself, now, ya hear?"
"Yeah, yeah," I waved off. Don't overwork yourself, he says. Good one. Lyra helped me wobble my way over to my cabin, opening the door and all but shoving me inside and onto my living room couch. A cup of water shortly found its way into my hands, and was quickly emptied again by me. "Thanks, Lyra."
"Of course."
Christ, was I thankful for the temperature regulator gem Celestia had gotten me a year and a half ago. If it wasn't for that, I'd probably have frozen to death in my first winter here. Now, it was keeping my house at a pleasant chill, helping to ward off my heatstroke. Holy shit, but did I hate summertime with a burning passion. Fucking heat, fucking gnats; fucking bullshit...
Lyra carefully trotted right up to me, practically nuzzling the side of my face. "...Why didn't you stop earlier?"
"Mmm?" I hummed, trying to not fall asleep from exhaustion.
"It's the middle of summer, and the weather here is still uncontrolled. Didn't you... I don't want you overworking yourself like that, Adam. You could get sick, or... worse."
"I know that, Ly, but... if it was just me, or maybe just us two, I wouldn't have. I've got more responsibility now, though. You, and Hooves and Deft and their foals... you all depend on me now." Despite my near-delirium, I just kept on pouring my heart out to her. "Hell, with the way things are going, it feels like half of Equestria is gonna depend on me sooner or later. You think I'm gonna let 'em down? Just... let some sunny weather get in the way of me trying to feed and house my subjects? I think not."
"...Ly?"
"Why'd you try to use magic to catch me, anyway? You should have known by now that shit doesn't work on me, right?"
"...I don't believe you've ever made me aware of such, no."
"Hmm...? Oh, right, I guess I didn't, no." I shrugged, half-heartedly. "Well, it doesn't. I've had to replace my icebox five fuckin' times by now, you know? Not touching that bloody cooling gem was probably the most expensive lesson I had to learn here. Thank fuck I learned to wrap my hand in a T-shirt to get around it. You probably don't want me touching your horn, either. Especially if it's glowing."
"Oh." Lyra winced. "So I see. That would... explain it."
"Ain't that the truth." I was already feeling better, after just a few minutes outside the oven outdoors. "Just ask Blueblood, if ya don't believe me. Man, the look on his face..." I chuckled. "Oh, boy. Anyway." I gingerly sat up, wiping the last of the moisture on my face away. "I should probably get back to the wheat. Gotta make sure Hooves is on the up-and-up."
"With respect, sire," Lyra jumped in, pushing me back down to a sitting position the moment I tried to rise. "I really don't think it's a good idea for you to be outside, like this."
"No can do, Ly," I retorted. "This shit needs to be done. I can't just snap my fingers and magic up a banquet hall, ya know. We gotta do it the old-fashioned way."
…
Oh for fuck's-!
"…Ly?" I ventured. "I don't suppose I could ask you to watch over Hooves, then, could I? Maybe… help out with the wheat? Y'know, with that magic of yours?"
"Of course, sire!" Woah, that was genuine excitement in her voice. Heh, she even hopped in place a little. "I'd be happy to help however I can!"
"Thanks, Ly, you're a lifesaver." Right. Magic... of course. Fucking hell, she should have been the first fuckin' person I asked. You're a blithering idiot, Inns. "I think in that case, I'll just... sort of lie down here, until it's not so hot out. Make sure Hooves doesn't run off with anything, yeah? Thank ya kindly."
Lyra had practically pranced her way out to the hallway already, muttering something I didn't quite catch. The door creaked open, and stayed there for a little while before it was shut again.
Right, thought I. Magic probably could just do it all in one go. Conjure up a scythe, and there you go. Assuming one can actually find a unicorn willing to dirty their hooves in the field, naturally. Thank fuck for Lyra, eh.
A throat clearing got my head back into reality. "Excuse me, First Minister? Is this a bad time?" It appeared Blueblood had turned up to the party. I twisted my head again, leering at him from half-lidded eyes.
"Ah, yes, Ambassador. Forgive me, but I always have trouble with the heat. Can't put on extra jumpers in the summer, can ya now. Anyway, what can I do you for?"
"Her Highness, Princess Celestia, has received your message."
"Excellent!" I clapped my hands together in satisfaction. "Have you got her reply?"
"Ah... yes," said Blueblood, filled with hesitation that immediately put me on guard. "She, ah... she wished to give you her reply in person, First Minister. As an, ah... 'official state visit,' as she put it."
"Oh." I was expecting something a little harsher than that, judging by his apprehension. "Well, that's not so bad. When's that happening, then?"
"She has already arrived, First Minister."
"...Oh." Again. "...got a pretty piss-poor sense of timing, then, haven't you, Celly? Couldn't have done this before I had to spend a day on my field, could ya? Bloody horse goddesses... Come on then, Princess, get over here already and give it to me."
Right on cue, Celestia popped up from behind the arch to the hallway. Disappointment was clear as day on her muzzle; even her mane seemed less fluttery in the non-wind that carried it. She squashed it quickly, though, walking up to me and dismissing Blueblood with just a glance, prompting him to skedaddle as fast as he could while still looking unbothered.
"Good day, First Minister Inns. It's a pleasure to finally visit the Free State."
Fortunately, the formalese didn't last long at all. "So how goes your nation building?" asked Celestia, a faint smirk visible behind her usual serenity.
"I think you already know damn well how it's going," I said with distaste. "You bought and paid for most of it, after all."
I was still on the couch, though now sitting properly on it. Celestia had taken the armchair. It was a surprise to see that she actually fit in it. She was kind enough to get me some water, though, when I asked her for some – with her magic, naturally. The small talk was more tedious this time around, probably because of my own bad mood spoiling everything. Everything was worse in the heat, after all.
"Not all of it, I'd say," said Celestia.
"Can't help but feel like it to me. I mean, first this whole thing to begin with. Then Construct and Blueblood. Then Lyra shows up, following the former. And now Steady and his lot, on the advice of the lads working for Construct. Who, might I add, has been bought and paid for, ultimately, by you. So excuse me for thinking that Mummy Dearest is holding my hand so I don't get scared and run off because something I didn't want to do in the first place isn't working."
"In the first place?" inquired Celestia. "So you mean yo-" She cut herself off abruptly, turning a bright shade of pink. "Did... did you just call me 'Mummy Dearest...?'"
Snrk, came a noise out from the bottom of my throat. My mouth curled into a nasty smirk, that tapered away as I spoke. "Sure did. I mean, isn't that essentially... what you are? To Equestria, I mean, not me, that would be absurd. Seriously, though, you really do act like it sometimes. All 'my little ponies' this and 'dear so-and-so' that. I'd bet that you've single-handedly given half your subjects Oedipus complexes just by speaking like you do."
"I... I really sound like that?"
"Oh yeah, all the time." I was having a lot of fun at her expense. No doubt she'd get back at me for it later, though, about six times as spectacularly, natch. Worth it. "Anyway. So I've got six subjects to my name, as it stands. Pretty impressive for... what, two weeks? Housing and forestry is moving forward, too. Shame about the food, though. Apparently I've got to do most of it my own self. Something about inert fields. I'm not entirely sure Construct isn't talking out her arse, in all honesty."
"I... see." Celestia had recovered by now, though I could still see a hint of pink on her. Wow. Gotta remember that one, then. "You said you 'didn't want to do it in the first place,' did you not? And yet, you are still here, as First Minister."
"Yep," I sighed.
"What made you change your mind?"
"You'd have pressed the issue until I gave in." My delivery was raw deadpan. Interestingly, I saw Celestia flinch ever-so-slightly. "Nah, but really. That was all Lyra. You recognise her, by any chance?"
"...No?" Celestia was rather taken aback by the seeming non-sequiteur. "Should I have?"
The question actually made me pause. Should Celestia have recognised Lyra? I mean, it's been nine years by now. "...Hmm. I guess not."
"Why bring it up?"
"Oh," I said, offhandedly. "She used to be from Canterlot, that's all, maybe you’d have known her. Anyway, she just showed up on my doorstep and asked for my help. It might sound a little silly, in hindsight," I freely admitted, a wistful smile on me. "But I realised something, then. Even with my position being mostly a joke on your part, I could still make use of it to do some good. That being, to give a helping hand to those who need it, be it poor, homeless, persecuted, whatever. Even if this whole thing ended up being just a piss in the wind, I could still have changed some lives, ya know?"
The intensity of the stare I was met with when I finished, and looked back up to her, unnerved me greatly, enough to make me physically lean back. I heard an exhale come from her nose, one that sounded an awful lot like disbelief.
"Incredible," she breathed. "You've surpassed my most optimistic expectations, Adam." Oooo-kay? "I would have thought for you to continue treating it as a joke, or to try to renounce your position to the last."
"...Thanks for the vote of confidence, Princess," I snarked.
"I don't mean it like that," she mollified. "I merely didn't expect for you to find a situation where you could actually make use of your power-"
"Okay, now I know you're blowing smoke up my arse. Make use of my power? I bet you sent Lyra to my cabin deliberately, didn't you? All as a secret test of my character, right?"
"Of course not, Adam," she chided. "I am not omniscient, after all. Lyra's decisions were her own to make - as were yours." A smile crossed her face. "I guess humans aren't as bad as you make them out to be, after all."
"Oh piss off. That was years ago already," I grumbled.
"In any case," she continued, not missing a beat. "You have done very well, so far. What are your next steps?"
I raised an eyebrow. "...And you act surprised when I call you 'mummy?'" The returning flush on her face was like fine art to my eyes. "As a matter of fact, I'd quite like to make a speech to Equestria, announcing the Free State's existence to the masses."
"Announcing?" Quite a curious tone was in her voice, one I couldn't identify exactly.
"Yeah." I nodded. "Lyra and Steady got here without even knowing it was a thing here. And, uh, don't take this personally, Princess, but it sounds like Equestria is a little bit on its arse right now. At least, going by what Steady Hooves told me." Celestia actually nodded her agreement with me. That was a little suspect. "That means there's gotta be lots and lots of ponies there who need help. And it's help I can give 'em."
Now, I saw in her some measure of apprehension. "...A noble goal," she began. "But are you sure that this is the right thing to do?"
"Can you help them, then?"
"Are you sure there are really so many in need to warrant doing so?"
That made me narrow my eyes. "...You seem awfully resistant to the idea of helping people, Celestia. I didn't think your reputation was all just a cult of personality..."
"Of course I wish to help my little ponies!" Celestia had raised her voice quite viciously. "Who, exactly, do you take me for, Inns? Perhaps you do not realise that it is not so simple in reality?"
...Hmm. Something was definitely fishy here. "...You're right, I apologise. That was going too far." I stroked my chin, to give the appearance of being deep in thought, but in reality I already knew what I was going to say. Celestia, at least, seemed mollified by my apology, which I took especial note of. "I just... I didn't think you couldn't see the win-win inherent in my plan."
"...What do you mean?" Her tone was carefully neutral.
"I mean, there's a few things that could happen in this situation – none of which come with any negatives for you. Supposing that there are people in need – which I hope I don't have to convince you of, Celestia – announcing it makes the most sense. If I did it myself, best case, a good chunk of your underclass crosses the border and stops being a problem to you, and you can spin that however you like. Worst case, I become a tourist attraction, and the world continues as normal. Together, though..." I trailed off for effect.
"Together, you can spin it as me helping those that the Crown can't, for whatever reason you want to concoct. I still get the underclass, and you get to claim that it was all your idea and I'm just the middle-man to your nobility, or, and you can quote this one, 'whatever soulless monster wishes to object to the barbarism of sheltering the homeless and feeding the hungry.'" I gave a sly wink to Celestia. "Certainly better than me going it alone because the benevolent goddess didn't think it a worthy cause herself, eh?"
An uncomfortable pause. I saw, still, Celestia was not quite convinced. Looks like I had to take a chance. "Besides," I continued. "You can always ask me to tone things down, if I fuck something up, right? Since... we're friends, and all that."
"...You're right. That is a brilliant plan indeed, Adam." Phew. Plan A it is, then. Celestia nodded, an odd sparkle in her eye. "I didn't think you so devious as this."
"Meh," I dismissed, gingerly rising to my feet, Celestia soon following suit. "It's nothing so grandiose as that. I'm no Machiavelli, after all. It's just a matter of my own incandescent brilliance."
I grabbed my cup of water off the coffee table to get a refill. In the kitchen, I continued, with Celestia following closely. "Now, how about you, Princess? How's your Crown doing so far?"
"It goes as well as always, Adam. I am surprised you still have not tired of asking that question."
"You ask me a similar one every time, though."
A smile graced her. "Touché. My point still stands."
"Oh come on!" I wheedled. "There's gotta be something happening, right? Anything interesting in Day Court?"
"Do you really think so?"
"...Good point," I conceded. "When was the last time someone who wasn't a noble showed up in there, anyway?"
“…Mmm. About seven years, or so, to my recollection.”
“Feh.” And Hooves wondered why I disliked Canterlot so much. “Small wonder, then, you using the ‘diplomatic visit’ excuse so often. I’ll bet that’s one of the few that they take for granted, nowadays – and don't question.”
Celestia coloured. “It’s not ‘often.’”
“Sure, sure.” Her deflection was telling. For her sake, though, I decided to let the matter drop, and refocused. "You got any ideas for a timetable for my announcement?"
"I think..." A frown overcame her as she struggled for thought. "...yes, I think the upcoming Summer Sun Celebration. It's as good a time as any."
"Ooh, that's right." The summer solstice was not too far away, indeed. It wasn't actually the longest day of the year, since that didn't really change thanks to ol' Celly at the wheel. It was just that the Summer Sun Celebration took place right in the middle of summer, right on the day the solstice would have been celebrated back home. "Closing in on four digits, aren't ya?"
An odd melancholy overtook her, now. "Yes... that's right."
"Shame I couldn't get the thousandth for myself, eh? Gotta make do with nine-hundred-ninety-eight for my glorious Free State." I shook my head and scoffed, but my mirth soon drained away. "Hey, what's wrong, Cel?"
"No- nothing. It's nothing." Wham, and her mask was back on, just like that. "This year's celebration will be in Canterlot. Will you be okay with that?"
"...Sure," I said, quietly concerned. "I'm fine with that. Hopefully that'll get me in the papers again. There's an awful lot of people get their news from the Canterer, after all. Oh," a finger snap punctuated the idea that came to me. "Can I ask you for a flight there? I'd rather not have to walk for a week to get there."
"I believe Blueblood can arrange that for you," Celestia said gently.
Hold on just one fuckin' second. She just had to go and mention Blueballs to me, didn't she? "...You planned this all out just for that, didn't you?" I jabbed a finger at her. "Princess. I ought to ask you for my wages, for babysitting that jackass for two weeks. Throwing all this shit on top of my shoulders, just for an excuse to send Bluebal- ehm... Blue-blood, away from the palace."
Celestia only smiled knowingly, trying unsuccessfully to hide it by turning her head.
"I knew it!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands in the air. "I fucking knew it! Unbelievable." I shook my head, turning around to put my cup on the counter. "A goddess with the power to move a star, and you use all your divine power for something so unbelievably petty. Jeez."
And then, a voice like silk breathed into my ear. "Fear not, Adam," crooned Celestia, having moved to press against my back seemingly instantly. "Since you've been such a good boy for mommy." A wing found itself wrapped against my other side. "I can get you something special for your reward..."
...
Uh. Fucking hell, my heart just about stopped then and there. I must have trembled like a leaf in a tornado, since Celestia didn't even try following up, instead stepping back, a tone of suppressed alarm in her speech. "Adam? Are you alright?"
"Yeah," I croaked out, barely audible, grabbing on to the counter with all my might, trying not to keel over. "Yeah. I'm fine." Tremors ran all through my side, where her wing had touched me. I sure regretted making that particular joke now. Note to self, never, ever try to say anything funny in her presence again. "Just gimme a sec."
"I am so sorry." There was real despair in her voice, too. "I did not mean to make you so uncomfortable. Please forgive me."
"Nah, nah, you're fine," I waved off weakly. "Just didn't expect to hear that coming from you." Jesus, that awakened some feelings in me. I was going to have to toss myself in a river to cool off. Followed by headbutting a few of my walls, to forget this ever happened. Once I'd mostly calmed down, I started again, turning from my counter to face her. "Christ almighty, Cel. You sure know just what to say to a guy, huh?"
"...I-"
I cut her off. "Anyway. I guess we can discuss this more later, in Canterlot. Closer to the date. I'll have a speech ready by then, probably, unless you want to be the one to come up with something. Two-and-a-half weeks, right?" A nod. "Gotcha. I'll talk to Blueblood, then, maybe- nah, he'll definitely want to go as well."
There was a noticeable pause, hanging in the air like a portent of doom, before Celestia chanced speaking up again. "Of course, Adam. I suppose... I will see you then."
"Alrighty then."
Celestia awkwardly shuffled out, giving me one last wan smile before she left. I was left alone in my kitchen, with an empty cup in my hands. Suppose I ought to check up on Lyra now, and Hooves, if they're done yet.
...Probably should go bathe first, though. Yeah, I like that idea better.
I slid my cup down the counter, bumping it against the edge of the sink, and slipped off to the bathroom, not sure what to think.