//------------------------------//
// Chapter 21: Mind over Matter 
// Story: Shadow of a Doubt 
// by MayhemMoth 
//------------------------------//

Starlight awoke with a yelp, somewhere she didn’t recognize. The room was blurry, and though she rubbed her eyes, most of it didn’t quite clear up. From what she could tell, it looked crystalline, but didn’t quite match Twilight’s interior. What she could see didn’t seem particularly fitting to her friend’s tastes, a luxurious divan and an elaborate mirror placed within, as well as a variety of weapons lining the walls. 

She thought to inspect them, confused by their clarity, but a muffled and familiar voice stopped her.

“For you…”

“Sombra?” She jolted in confusion, stepping toward the doorway, “Where are you? What is-?”

Her gaze caught the mirror, and she froze at what she saw. Or rather, what she didn’t see.

The mirror only reflected the doorway.

“Now you know that’s just a bunch of nonsense, right?” An unfamiliar voice broke her from her terror, while a rare laughter followed.

“It’s for the audience, at the very least,” Sombra turned the corner, reflected in the mirror she was looking at. He was donned in armor, but it didn’t resemble what she’d seen him in before, this set was an intricate and brilliant red. “And I think we could really use an audience, don’t you?”

“I think you could use a less dangerous hobby,” The unfamiliar voice stated, turning into the room. A crystalline purple mare, clearer and brighter than her surroundings. Starlight’s eyes widened at the sight of her.

This was the mare from the picture in Canterlot. This was Radiant Hope.

She seemed younger than in her painting, somehow. But then again, so did Sombra. Now that Starlight saw him better, she noticed he seemed lankier. His horn was different as well. Not red, not curved, it was normal.

“Jousting is hardly the worst thing I could be getting into,” The young Sombra claimed, removing his helmet to fix his mane. It wasn’t flowing. “I could be hunting those yetis that got in last night.”

Radiant Hope shuddered, “Don’t even remind me of that, I hope none of them get hurt too badly.”

“I’m sure everypony will be fine. A little bit of fire and those things will be running home.” 

“I was talking about the yetis,” Radiant Hope muttered, earning a quizzical look from Sombra, “What? They’re not heartless beasts, they’re just hungry.”

“Yetis eat ponies, Hope.”

“You don’t know that for sure! Ponies just like to make them into monsters,” She said, seemingly oblivious to Sombra’s twitching at her words, “Why are you jousting today, anyway? You told Ms. Chestnut and I that you were done for the week.”

“I was, but Knightingale was scheduled for today and he went out to hunt the yetis. Princess Amore didn’t want to cancel the show, so she asked for me to fill in,” Sombra explained, returning his helmet to his head but frowning at his reflection, “Might as well, since the princesses will be watching, it’d be rude to cancel on them.”

Hope’s ears perked, “The princesses are here today?”

“Hmm, you didn’t notice them yesterday?” Hope shook her head, “Well, it’s no matter. They were primarily discussing trade routes, as well as just overall enjoying each others’ company. I’m under the impression that Princess Luna wants to fight the yetis.”

This time, Hope frowned. Sombra was quick to assure her.

“No worries, she’s still in the castle as far as I’m aware. Ready to see a true jousting match,” Sombra winked, confusing Hope, “I’ll be dedicating today’s joust to revenge on Whetstone for what he said to you this morning, makes it more interesting.”

“Please don’t.”

Sombra’s head tilted slightly, “And why not? He said awful things to you. He tried to hurt you. Why wouldn’t I want to get revenge?”

“Because it won’t help. It never helps. Don’t make tonight about revenge, please,” She pleaded, “I don’t want you to end up getting hurt, I’m worried enough as it is.”

There was a brief silence, Sombra staring at himself in the mirror, before glancing at his friend. His brows furrowed, and his tail swished, but he eventually sighed in defeat. A certain frustration seemed to emanate off of him, and it brought Starlight back to some sort of reality as she remembered where she was.

“Fine, no revenge,” He said, smiling down at Hope to cover the lie, “But I’m still going to dedicate tonight’s joust to you. I’m doing this all for you.”

“Really?” She fell for the lie, a smile coming to her face as well, “Didn’t I just say that was nonsense?”

“Maybe so, but what is a knight without his lady?”

“You are so not a knight, Sombra,” She laughed, and this time Sombra’s smile was genuine.

“Perhaps not, but what’s the harm in acting the part?”

“It makes you look silly, for one thing.”

Sombra laughed, saying something in return, but Starlight couldn’t quite hear it. He turned away and went out the door, Radiant Hope following along. Both of their voices were still briefly audible for a few moments more, but quickly faded to silence as the room faded to darkness.

And Starlight was left alone.

More to herself than anything, she whispered, “What just happened?”

“A memory.” Starlight jumped at his voice, so similar to the one she’d just heard, but still so different. He materialized in front of her, free of his cast in the real world, “I told you I wished to show, not speak. No one can eavesdrop like this.”

“You’re showing me your memories?” She asked. Sombra nodded, “Which ones?”

“Any that you wish to see.”

Starlight had to think, considering everything she’d read in his journal. About Radiant Hope, about Princess Amore, and about Sombra’s anger. There had been so much anger, but she knew it’d be better to focus on one thing.

“I want to know more about Radiant Hope,” She said. That should be simple enough.

“Very well.” He closed his eyes, a gentle yet unusual glow emanating from his horn, “Let’s go back to the beginning.”

Sombra faded away, and Starlight was alone again. It was dark and quiet, suffocatingly so, and it felt like it was getting worse. Fear began to creep over her, making her shiver, but she wouldn’t give in. No matter how cold it got.

Voices broke the silence. They were quiet and muffled, as if the ones speaking weren't speaking a language she understood. No matter how hard she listened, she couldn’t make anything of them. 

“Do forgive me for the confusion,” Sombra’s voice broke through, echoing around Starlight and making her squeak in surprise, “This took place so long ago, and I didn’t understand Poneish, so the memory is faint.”

“So why show it?” Starlight asked.

“It’s important to me.”

There was a shout as his voice faded, and a flash of light. Suddenly, she was in a room, or at least she thought she was. As Sombra said, the details were faint, and what she did see was strangely abstract. The only thing that cleared up was a bright splash of purple, forming into a familiar crystalline filly. She said something unintelligible, and there was another voice in return, one that seemed to belong to a brown blur that pulled the filly away.

And then everything faded again.

“So what exactly was that?” Starlight asked. Sombra formed beside her.

“Our first meeting, from what I can remember,” He answered, tracing an unseen pattern into the darkness, “As you might know, the guards found me in the northern wasteland, and it took its toll. I was incredibly ill, and I’m sure they thought I would die.”

Slowly, Sombra’s invisible tracings formed into a room. It seemed to be the same one from the memory, but a bit more comprehensible in places. Starlight could easily identify a window, a golden bed with purple sheets, and a lopsided sapphire cabinet. Almost anything else was too strange to identify.

“From what I gather, Hope must have burst into the room in the hopes of seeing her new foster brother. Ms. Chestnut seems to have taken her out,” Sombra explained, “I spent my first few months in the Crystal Empire here, in this room. It seems like such a forgettable memory, but it’s one of the earliest ones I have.”

“Earliest?” Starlight cocked her head curiously, “How old were you?”

“The doctors estimated about five Winters, though I’m sure they could’ve been wrong.”

“And you don’t remember anything else?” 

“No. But I’m sure it’s not that unusual.”

The room shifted, becoming just the slightest bit clearer. The pre-identified furniture didn’t move, explaining their clarity, while a bit of personality made itself known in the room. A few toys, a painting, a strange case of some sort, and a mirror. Something not visible on the bed was reflected in that mirror, a small gray foal, hiding under the blanket. 

It was Sombra, so much tinier and frail than the one Starlight knew now. A single, equally tiny filly sat by his side.

“I won’t hurt you,” She said, reaching a hoof toward Sombra. He flinched away from her, burying himself further in, “I promise I won’t.”

Sombra said nothing, and didn’t move. Hope frowned.

“You’re very shy, aren’t you?” She asked. Still no response. “I know you can talk, I heard Ms. Chestnut teaching you earlier, and you said something to her, so why not me?”

Still nothing. 

Hope sighed, just the slightest bit annoyed. Hopping off the bed, she grabbed something that hadn’t been visible before. It was wrapped in paper, which Hope quickly unwrapped, revealing some sort of pastry. She set it on the table beside his bed, and left.

After a moment, Sombra threw the blanket off, and grabbed the pastry hungrily. 

The memory faded, and the Sombra she knew spoke up, “I hope you don’t mind my silence, I found it rather hard to speak as a foal. Difficulty with language aside, I just couldn’t open my mouth when other ponies were around. Ms. Chestnut, and eventually Hope, were the only two ponies I’d speak to for the most part.”

“It’s fine,” Starlight said, understanding well enough, “Quite the difference from you and your constant quips nowadays, I’d say.”

“Years of silence call for years of opinions,” He grinned. She had said it in good humor, and he’d caught onto that, “Of course, it was more of an annoyance as a child. The other foals weren’t particularly kind to me, or Hope for that matter.”

He began to trace the darkness, another memory forming. A turquoise field of grass spread out beneath the two of them, a couple of berry bushes and a single tree bursting from the ground. A faint smell of the grass tickled Starlight’s nose for a moment, and she heard a voice in the distance.

“Sombra!” 

Starlight, or rather Sombra, as these were his past actions, turned to see who was coming. Radiant Hope, a bit larger than in the previous memory, came trotting over, a basket on her back. Sombra shied away at her arrival, but she was persistent.

“I just want to spend some time with you,” She assured, smiling, “You always seem so lonely.”

She offered him an apple. He took it, but made no effort to eat it. Hope seemed to misunderstand why.

“Have you never seen an apple before?” She asked, grabbing one for herself, “They’re a fruit, like those berries. Sometimes they’re sour, but these ones should be sweet.”

For emphasis, she bit hers, and showed Sombra the inside of the apple. He just stared at it, so Hope took it away and finished it. All the while, Sombra sat with his own in his hooves, staring at her. 

Reaching into the basket again, Hope took out something else. This time it wasn’t food, but something that Starlight could only assume was supposed to be a toy. It was a small pony made entirely of purple crystal, with no obvious features carved into it. Hope began to play with it.

“One of the guards made this for me,” She said, making the pony walk across the grass, “I think he makes them for all the ponies in the orphanage. Did he make you one too?”

Unsurprisingly, she got no answer. She didn’t seem to mind the silence at least.

“I hope you got one,” She continued, “It’d be mean if he didn’t make you one, and I know ponies are kinda mean to you sometimes. Especially the other foals.”

Sombra flinched. Hope caught the movement, and looked toward him. 

“I heard one of them call you a ‘thing’ today. I know that’s not very nice. They said some other mean things after you left, they said you were weird, and then started calling me things.” She paused in her playing, “Well, they didn’t call me a thing, but they called me mean things. Does that make sense?”

Sombra blinked.

“I’ll pretend that means you understand,” She said, scooting closer to Sombra and offering her doll, “Don’t let them bother you, they said I was weird too.”

Hesitantly, Sombra took the doll, staring at it silently. He turned it over in his hooves, admiring the colors, envying them. He hadn’t gotten a doll, at least not yet. Maybe the guard thought he was weird too.

He raised his head to look at Hope. She was smiling brightly. Maybe even brighter than the crystal in his hooves.

“I know I’ve been bothering you a lot, but I really do want to be your friend,” She said, “If you want, you can be weird with me and we’ll be weird together, would that be okay?”

There was another silence, but this time it was only brief. The doll was enveloped in a gentle blue aura, and was safely placed back in Hope’s hooves. Then Sombra scooted closer to her, surprising the filly in more ways than one.


“Sombra would like that,” He whispered.

Hope blinked, before a huge smile made its way to her face. Clutching her doll to her chest, she threw her other hoof around Sombra and shouted, “I can’t wait to introduce you to my friends!” 

The memory faded, and the darkness returned. Starlight looked around for Sombra, having noticed that he’d vanished when the memory began. He was right next to her.

“Her friends were fairies,” He said, tracing shapes into the darkness. They formed into objects. Starlight recognized Hope’s doll, the Crystal Heart, and Sombra’s red helmet from earlier, “I never saw them, they might not have even been real. Though even Ms. Chestnut had told us to be respectful to them, so perhaps there was a bit of truth to them.”

“Did you believe in the fairies?” 

“Fae are all too real, I’m sure. I heard far too many stories about their mischief and cruelty during my childhood not to believe in them. I believe I may have heard their whispers once or twice as well.”

Remembering a particular journal entry, Starlight asked, “What did they say?”

“Nothing I could ever quite understand. I don’t know if Hope quite understood them either,” He began to trace out something new, the outer edges of the Empire, “Sometimes they’d tell her to leave.”

The border of the Crystal Empire formed, a patch of emerald grass sprinkled with the stray flakes of a blizzard. Further out, everything seemed gray and gloomy, a far cry from the brilliant empire. Hope and Sombra stood before that darkness.

“They’re out there!” Hope exclaimed excitedly, “My fairy friends!”

Sombra gazed out into the blizzard, concerned, “They live out in those wastelands?”

“Yep! They want me to visit them.”

“Right now?”

“Yep!”

“B-but the storm,” Sombra couldn’t hide the panic in his voice, a familiarity within him brought along by the cold, “It’s freezing out there!”

It was freezing here. He could hardly imagine how awful it’d feel within the cold, aside from those all too haunting memories of what happens after. 

“They said they like to play in the snow,” She began to walk toward the darkness, but a pair of hooves shot out to stop her, “Hey! What are you doing?”

“I’m stopping you from doing something dumb! It’s too cold out there!”

She tried to escape his grip, but he held tight. 

“But they want to see me!” She shouted, voice angrier than he’d ever heard it before, “And I want to see them!”

“No, stay here!”

“But I need to see them!”

“I don’t want you to die!”

It would seem that the final word snapped Hope out of whatever had gotten a hold of her, and she froze. She opened her mouth for a moment, as if to say something, but nothing ever came.

“What are you children doing?”

A rumble of hooves approached them, and Hope snapped out of her daze to glance upward. Sombra did as well, though he seemed to duck at the regal unicorn mare before him. She seemed vaguely familiar to the memory eavesdropping Starlight, though she couldn’t place that familiarity. Whatever the case, Starlight felt a significant amount of uncertainty toward her.

Were these Sombra’s feelings?

“A storm is approaching,” The mare’s voice was kind, yet firm, “What’re you two doing out here?”

“O-oh, hello Princess Amore! We’re playing pretend,” Hope lied, understanding that her friend had now lost his voice, “There’s a dragon in the blizzard, and we’re going to fight it.”

“Ah,” Amore’s voice softened, “Well, I’m afraid I can’t let you do that. It’ll be getting very cold soon, and it won’t be safe for the two of you to play outside. I suggest that you should return home, wherever that may be.”

Hope just nodded, while Sombra trembled beside her. He hadn’t let go of Hope since this stranger had arrived, and it seemed that it was only now she noticed him. She stared for far too long, her smile slipping just the slightest bit, before it returned full force when she saw the two ready to leave.

“On second thought, perhaps I should escort you two home?” She suggested, “It’ll be getting dark soon, and I’m sure your parents will be very worried.”

“We don’t have any parents,” Hope explained, “We live at the orphanage, but Ms. Chestnut takes good care of us.”

“Ah, do forgive me for that slip!” Amore apologized, though she somehow sounded unsurprised at the comment, “I’m sure Ms. Chestnut is quite worried about you as well, so let’s get going.”

She gently nudged the two of them with her nose, Hope hopping up without hesitance, while Sombra briefly cowered, before running to his friend unsurely. 

“Don’t worry, little ones,” She assured, “It’ll be safe with me.”

The memory collapsed. Starlight was left stunned.

She practically shouted, “That was Princess Amore!”

Materializing beside her, Sombra grimaced, “You sound awfully enthusiastic about seeing the pony that made my childhood a living Tartarus.”

“O-oh, I’m sorry. It’s just… I’ve been wondering about her ever since I saw her portrait in Canterlot.”

“Of course she’d have one of those,” Sombra snorted indignantly, “Is it fair to assume you want to learn about her too?”

Starlight nodded. Sombra bared his fangs.

“Of course you would. But you’ll have to wait for that much, I still have more important things to show,” He began to trace the air again, “Hope and I grew up together, in the orphanage. No one was interested in the ‘odd’ children, but I suppose that shouldn’t surprise me. Most ponies don’t adopt foals out of the goodness of their hearts, but for some sort of status, it seems.”

“I don’t think that applies to everypony.”

“It still applies to too many,” Sombra spat, lowering his hoof after tracing out a kitchen, “Whatever the case, I’d have never wanted to live anywhere else. Ms. Chestnut cared about Hope and I, and despite everything, she did more than enough.” 

A brown Crystal Pony was in the kitchen, stirring a pot. Hope stood beside her, tongue sticking out as she levitated over a mug. She was still too small to see the countertop very well without balancing on her hind legs, but she did her best to peek over the side and drop the mug. The older pony quickly caught it, apparently accustomed to dealing with this.

“Are you that excited?” She asked, “The cocoa’s not ready yet, you two.” 

“I know, but we’re just getting ready!” Hope exclaimed, as another mug floated by, in a slightly different hue of magic, “Besides, it’s good magic practice!”

“Well, I suppose that’s true. But you know we’re going to need more than just two mugs, right?”

“Do you want us to get more?” Hope asked.

“Yes please,” She nodded, and the view changed as the two foals took off, “But no magic! I don’t want you two to drop any, okay?”

“Yes, Ms. Chestnut!”

Again, the memory faded, leaving Starlight in the darkness of Sombra’s mindspace. She turned to look at him, wondering if he’d been there the whole time. 

“The cocoa I make is her recipe,” He said, avoiding Starlight’s gaze, “Or, as close as I can get it. We didn’t have it often, but she taught me how to make it as I got older. I wonder if she still makes it sometimes.”

“I’m sure she does,” Starlight assured, hoping it’d get Sombra to look at her, “But, I need to ask you something. You’ve mostly shown me happy memories, but from the sounds of it, you and Hope had some problems as well. I know this is just as personal, but what did the other ponies do to you?”

“Is it really a happy memory if it hurts to remember?” Sombra asked, stamping one of his hooves, “Foals did exactly what you’d expect, they mocked us, they called us names. It’s tiring, but what could I do? Ponies scared me, I didn’t want to be near them, so I took it like a fool while Hope defended me, but never herself.”

“But you’re nothing like that now, what changed?”

“Simple, they went too far.” He stamped a hoof again, “Such a cliche and immature situation, isn’t it? Bullying. It seems like nothing, to any onlooker. How painfully predictable it was, getting so much worse.”

Suddenly, Starlight was in a room again. It looked similar to Sombra’s childhood room, but things were slightly different, and Hope was curled up on the bed. She was older than she had been in the previous memories, but still a filly. 

“I want to be alone right now,” She said.

“And I want to make you happy again,” Another responded, the voice soft and unfamiliar, “You’re never upset for this long Hope, what happened?”

“Nothing,” She said far too quickly, “Nothing happened. Somepony just made fun of me again.”

“Mean names have never put you down this long before, what really happened?”

The filly didn’t respond, just curing up in her bed more.

“Hope, what did they do?” The soft voice asked. Hope hid under her blanket, “Hope, please at least look at me.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Please don’t make me pull you out of that bed myself.”

Starlight felt a tightening in her chest as Hope sighed, and finally began to rise. She took her time doing it, only briefly glancing in the direction Starlight was staring, before turning around. The burst of rage and pain Starlight felt within herself after seeing Hope’s face all but confirmed what she’d thought.

She was feeling Sombra’s emotions from back then, and perhaps even now. Though she was sure a bit of her own swirled in there as well, what with such an upsetting sight.

There was dried blood beneath Hope’s nose, and a bruise on her cheek. She tried to cover it.

“They hurt you.” Sombra’s voice was quiet, but eerily more familiar, “Who did it?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Hope said, turning away again, “I’m sure it was an accident.”

“An accident? How could that be an accident?” His voice was suddenly vicious, and Hope looked even more upset, “Who did it?”

Starlight never heard an answer, because the memory was gone as soon as that question had been asked, replaced with another view. She was suddenly face to face with a terrified colt, probably about the same age as Hope had been, on the ground and staring up in terror. The rage that wasn’t her own told her to feel no sympathy for this pony, that he deserved to be hurt.

It was a horrible feeling. It was a familiar feeling.

A pony with burning green eyes and bubbling purple magic was reflected in his terrified eyes.

“I’m sure you can figure out what happened from there,” The current Sombra said, the memory gone along with the rage that joined it. He rolled his eyes, teeth bared, “I should’ve blasted him into the dirt.”

Starlight had to give herself a moment to recover from what she’d just seen. Remnants of rage still lingered within her, but she pushed them away to voice the unexpected, “You already knew dark magic.”

“Yes, it seems as if it was ingrained in me, but it took until that moment to unleash itself,” He explained, “My magic is fueled by negative emotions. Anger, fear, sadness and the like. All things one would consider dark. It was at that moment that I had hit my limit, proving to many that everything ponies knew about dark magic is wrong.”

“That it was evil?”

“No, that it corrupted anypony who went through the effort to learn, and perhaps that is still true, but even with a fuzzy memory I very much doubt I was trained in such magic as an infant. It was ingrained in me, it always was. I knew it, somehow.”

“And you unleashed it to protect Hope.”

Sombra seemed to ignore that comment.

“Rumors spread quickly after, about how the meek little shadow from the orphanage was actually a monster. How he’d snapped and attacked a ‘poor, innocent youth’ with unnatural magic,” He bared his fangs, annoyed, “True as it may be, how quickly the rumor spread was disgusting. Was it because I was different? Was it because the colt I attacked was influential? I suppose I’ll never know, but it’s too late for that anyway.”

He traced the air again, reassembling a somewhat familiar room. It was the one from the first memory, though empty of its previous decor. 

“I’m not sure if it’s because of the rumors, or if Ms. Chestnut went to her, but it was Princess Amore who encouraged me to start jousting.” He traced out the shape of the mirror, where the young him was reflected, staring unsurely at himself in that intricate red armor from before, “She even gave me this armor.”

His hoof ran over the memory armor, ornate details unseen before finally revealing themselves on the brilliant red metal. Patterns of vines and butterflies carved into the metal, an obsidian heart placed right in the center of his chest. 

“I wasn’t so sure about it myself. The armor seemed far too intricate for my tastes, and I wasn’t particularly interested in the attention.” The memory shifted, into an arena, likely where the jousts took place, “But after a few practice runs, I accepted it.” 

A rumble of hooves sounded, and metal clashed. Unseen ponies cheered and booed, while a glimpse of the past Sombra appeared in the reflection of another’s dusty armor. Were they booing because of him?

“And, as it turned out, I was a really good jouster. I came to enjoy it, for the most part, I even had fans,” He bared his teeth at the word, “Ponies who saw me as nothing more than entertainment. Ponies still whispered, and still spat at me from afar, but I was kept busy enough with the jousts that my fights were few and far between. I’m sure that was the plan.”

He played out a few joust matches in his mind, most of which he won. Nearly none of the ponies' faces were visible, many blurred from either time, or lack of care. Of the few that were, one seemed particularly distinct, and somewhat familiar. He was silver and gray, not quite as vibrant as most Crystal Ponies, but still a diamond among his kind.

This was the same pony that Sombra had unleashed his powers on, wasn’t it?

“That’s Whetstone,” Sombra explained, as if aware of her confusion, “Bully turned rival, so to speak. He was always a bit more hooves on than the others, so he and I fought rather frequently.”

Starlight tilted her head, having listened motionlessly until hearing the name. It sounded familiar, though it took a few moments before she recalled it as a name, and not the usual sharpening stone. This was the pony mentioned in the first memory, wasn’t he?

“You wanted revenge on him,” She stated, looking to him, though he was still focused on the memory, “Did you manage that?”

“No, but the night was unforgettable nonetheless. My journal mentions how Hope got her cutie mark, correct?” He asked, only briefly looking at Starlight to see her nod of confirmation, “Nopony believed in her healing magic, of course. They all assumed it was another fantasy of hers at first. It wasn’t as if she could prove it to anypony, after all. Not until tonight.”

The dirt in the arena reddened, a puddle of crimson pooling below them. Starlight stepped back as it trickled toward her, briefly forgetting that it wasn’t real. She just knew it was far more than she was comfortable seeing. Sombra, meanwhile, stepped right into the puddle, staring into it.

“The match was sabotaged.”

This blood was Sombra’s.

“I don’t know if Whetstone was alone in this, and I don’t know why he thought vandalizing the equipment on such a day was a good idea. I just know that I got hurt, and Hope panicked. She broke through everything to come over and heal me, despite my protests.”

Lifting his hoof, the blood evaporated from the ground, and the arena faded. Starlight shivered as it did, the unreality starting to get to her. She wasn’t sure if Sombra noticed, and she opted not to say anything about it. He was still speaking.

“I really wish she hadn’t. As horrible as it was at the moment, I very much doubt the wound was lethal, and Whetstone was found guilty of the sabotage,” His tone shifted, “But she did, and it was at that moment that everything truly changed.”

The darkness rippled, and Starlight could’ve sworn she saw something out of the corner of her eye. A brief memory, perhaps? She didn’t want to bring attention to it, she wasn’t sure if reminding Sombra of her presence was a good idea. He was getting angry.

“Suddenly, everypony loved her. They wanted her to be their friend, they wanted her to heal their loved ones, because of course they did,” He spat, green eyes morphing into red, “It was such an honor to have a brilliant healer in the empire. So brilliant, in fact, that the princesses, who had witnessed the whole debacle, decided to take her under their wing.”

Another memory began to play, Hope displaying a letter with Celestia’s cutie mark stamped on. She was excited, a smile on her face as she said something, but Starlight couldn’t hear what. A rush of emotions had gone through her, all to some degree of anger or sadness. It made her shudder.

“She was so happy about it too, didn’t she realize what they were doing? I realized, the moment ponies had started liking me for their entertainment! They only wanted her because she was useful!” He snarled, the darkness shaking alongside Starlight. She thought she saw something else out of the corner of her eye. Something watching. 

“Sombra-”

He didn’t hear her, the shadows worsening, his tirade continuing, “They had only wanted to use her! They never cared about her as a pony, they only cared about what she could do for them! They-”

“Sombra!”

The memory shattered, the shadows that had begun to take over receding. Sombra abruptly turned to her.

“I don’t want to be here anymore,” She admitted. He could sense her fear. She was afraid of him, wasn’t she? “I can feel everything you’re feeling.”

Just like that, the anger faded. Now, Starlight felt worry and fear, but not her own.

“I’m sorry,” Sombra’s voice was quiet now, the rage gone entirely. It had been so strong that he’d forgotten about Starlight, and he’d unintentionally hurt her because of it, “My emotions got the better of me.”

That happened far too much, but it was significantly hard to control them when he felt so good when he got angry. There was always a power rush, something to remind him that he was better than everypony else, to remind him of why he hated them so much. Except it didn’t feel as good this time. He broke out of it easier than usual. He’d hurt someone he cared about.

He didn’t want that, he didn’t want to care. He wasn’t supposed to.

Sombra approached Starlight slowly, as if not to scare her again, glancing around his mangled mindspace as if looking for something. She kept her gaze on him as he approached, but said nothing as he leaned forward.

She didn’t flinch when his horn touched hers.

Her eyes opened to see they were back in the library, back on stable and solid ground. She felt the beginning of a headache coming on, and her eyes were burning, but everything was real again. Wiping her eyes in the hope to somehow relieve the burning, she was not prepared for her arm to come back damp. Had she been crying?

“Ugh…”

Ears perked, she turned to Sombra. His own hooves were against his face as well, and he was hunched over the table. She wondered if he’d overexerted himself, though it seemed unlikely, considering his magic’s potential.

“I did not think that through,” He muttered, “I’m sorry.”

He’d said that twice now. She’d already taken it as genuine the first time, but this sealed it.

“It’s okay,” She said, rubbing her own eyes one more time. She’d definitely cried, though she wasn’t sure if it was from all those emotions or the magic sharing, “You told me what I wanted to know, for the most part.”

“For the most part,” He repeated, lowering his hooves. It looked as if he’d been crying as well. “There’s something else, isn’t there?”

Starlight hummed, tapping her hooves together. She wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to ask for more, but she felt it necessary, “You didn’t tell me why you took over the Crystal Empire. Or what happened to Princess Amore.”

“Princess Amore used me, just as the rest of the Crystal Ponies and Celestia had used Hope. We were tools, only good for what those above us wanted,” He growled, hooves on his face again. Starlight hadn’t expected such an easy response from him, and that relieved her a bit, “Amore knew what I was. She knew my magic was volatile, and she kept me on a leash for others’ entertainment because of it.”

“Do you know that for sure?”

“I think her confession was more than enough confirmation.”

Starlight said nothing, unsure on what to say but understanding that pushing Sombra further wouldn’t do at this time. There were many more questions in her mind, but she’d save them for another day. 

“I don’t… I don’t know what I am,” Sombra said, staring at his hooves, “I’m not a pony, not a real one.”

Though tempted not to speak, Starlight still asked, “And what makes you say that?”

“Everything. Every single thing,” Sombra hissed, horn bubbling, “Why else would I be like I am? Why dark magic flows through me so easily, why Amore kept me under a constant watchful eye? Why the Spirit of Chaos knows more about me than I do?”

Starlight blinked at that last one. Was that why the two had fought? She might have to give Discord a talk later, but until then, she had more important matters to attend to. Rising from her seat, she approached Sombra and sat beside him. He didn’t flinch, though he backed off slightly.

“Does it really matter, if you’re a pony?” She asked. 

Sombra didn’t respond.

“It doesn’t, and you know it. I’m friends with plenty of creatures that aren’t pony, so I don’t see why you’d be an exception.”

“Maybe because, whatever I am, is doomed to end everything in failure.”

“Now don’t be like that,” She tapped him gently, and he huffed, “Besides, you definitely had the upper hoof in that horrible future I saw.”

“So I was winning.”

“I wouldn’t go that far.”

He huffed again, grabbing his mug of cocoa. There was practically nothing left, just a cold sludge he had little interest in consuming. Starlight, in turn, gently levitated her own over to sip, making a face at the temperature.

“It’s cold,” Sombra explained.

“I can see that,” Starlight stated plainly, a bit of the chocolate clinging to her nose. Sombra smiled at the sight, though it faded just as quickly.

Sliding his own mug between his hooves, he quietly asked, “Do you think I’m pathetic?”

The question caught her off guard, “Huh?”

“Do you think I’m pathetic?” He repeated, turning his head just enough to see her, “For turning against the kingdom for my friend, is that pathetic?”

For a moment, Starlight was silent. Sombra sighed at the response, rising to leave, only to be held back as Starlight laid a hoof on him.

“No.” She said, gently wrapping that hoof around him, the other quickly following, “No matter what anypony says, never let them convince you that your own experiences are pathetic again. It’s not theirs to say that you were wrong.”

Sombra didn’t fight her, not even as her head laid against his chest. He just sat frozen in disbelief, before slowly, ever so slowly, he laid his head onto Starlight’s own. 

Eyes closed, he smiled softly and murmured, “You’re a naive and hopeful fool, Starlight Glimmer.”

And I think that might be what I love most about you…