Of all the things Wallflower Blush ever imagined she'd do, visiting her and Sunset's favorite places with their daughter wasn't one of them.
The way to the lake hadn't changed at all in the nearly three years since they'd last come here. Towering pines lined the pathway from the little dirt parking lot on the side of the road all the way down to the water, where the low grass and shade gave way to the wide open shores. At the edge of the sands were the same set of picnic tables, and far above it all, the same stars watched from overhead. If Wallflower didn't know any better, coming here would've felt like stepping back in time.
That said, the walk from the car was definitely a bit more strenuous than it had been during her last visit.
"Are you sure you don't want me to hold her, hon?" Sunset repeated the offer she'd made when they first got out of the car.
Wallflower shook her head—slowly, so as not to disturb the sleeping child in her arms. "It's okay, I can handle it," she said. "Besides, carrying her is a nice bit of nostalgia for me."
"Yeah, I bet it is." Even in the dark of the night, Wallflower could make out Sunset's smile. "Just be sure to ask for help if you need it, okay?"
"Don't worry, you're getting her on the way back," Wallflower teased.
"As if the alternative is even an option," Sunset said. "Your doctor would kill me if she found out I was letting you carry around a twenty-pound kid like this."
"Yeah, yeah…" Shifting her weight to better hold up the snoozing child clinging to her, Wallflower sighed. "You're right, I probably shouldn't be, but… I realized lately that soon, she'll be so big that I won't be able to pick her up anymore. I guess I want to hold her like this every chance I get."
The warm feeling of Sunset's arm around her waist prompted Wallflower to press herself a little closer to her wife. The two of them—three of them—stayed like that for a while, holding each other beneath a blanket of stars.
"Gosh, I haven't seen the sky lit up like this since… I guess since the last time we came here." Sunset craned her head upwards. "I've really missed it."
"Me too," Wallflower replied. "I wish we'd been able to make it out here sooner."
"Honestly, same, but I'd say we had some pretty good reasons for being so busy," Sunset said. "The wedding, the honeymoon, I had to spend months taking care of some cranky pregnant lady—"
"I am not a cranky pregnant lady!" Wallflower shot back playfully, still trying to keep her voice down.
Sunset laughed. "Can we settle on needy pregnant lady?"
"Okay, I won't fight you on that one," Wallflower giggled.
"Between all that and the baby, well…" Sunset looked at her and smiled. "I'd say we've earned a night of stargazing."
"Agreed." Wallflower smiled back. "Speaking of which…"
Wallflower felt a little someone starting to stir in her arms. Gently running her fingers through her daughter's wavy red hair, she spoke softly to her.
"Holly, sweetie, you awake?"
With a stretch and a bit of a wriggle, Holly made the answer known. Wallflower beamed at her baby girl, just like she did every time she realized—to her continual, eternal amazement—that this child was real, and hers, and actually really real.
"Mmm... Mama..." Holly yawned. "Where's Mommy?"
"Right here, baby girl," Sunset said. "Do you want to see the pretty thing Mommy and Mama were talking about?"
"Oh!" At that, Holly snapped awake, suddenly full of energy in the way only a toddler could be. "Yes! Pretty!"
Sunset held her arms out to take her, and Wallflower nodded, handing Holly off to her mother. Grinning broadly, Wallflower watched as Sunset held their daughter in one hand and covered her eyes with the other.
"Ready?" Sunset angled Holly so that the little girl was facing skyward.
"Pretty!" Holly said again, giggling.
Sunset shrugged. "I'll take that as a yes." With that, she uncovered Holly's eyes, revealing to her daughter a full, moonless sky, glittering with thousands upon thousands of stars.
"Oooh…" Holly's eyes went wide, and she reached up at the sky with tiny, outstretched arms. "Pretty…"
Wallflower followed her daughter's gaze, herself taking in the wide expanse of the shimmering heavens. Everywhere she looked, something was shining, twinkling, shimmering in her periphery as much as it was wherever she focused. The only place she had seen the sky more alive than here was at that little observatory in the mountains, where the entirety of the galaxy could be seen stretching across the sky. Silently resolving to take Holly there too, someday, she stood beside her wife and daughter and sighed happily.
"You doing okay, hon?" Sunset glanced at Wallflower.
"Yeah, just… thinking," Wallflower said. "There are so many places I want to show her, y'know?" She looked down. "Things are gonna get so busy soon… I guess it feels like we're up against the clock."
Sunset started to respond. "I know what you—"
"Mama, look!" Holly interjected, tugging at Wallflower's hair. Her adorable little smile glowed brighter than the sky as she pointed up at the stars. "Pretty!"
Wallflower's heart swelled. "Yes, sweetheart," she said, running her fingers through Holly's hair. "It's very pretty."
"Very pretty!"
After waiting a moment, likely to ensure she wouldn't be cut off again, Sunset said, "I know what you mean. Though, we have a little practice now, so hopefully round two won't be as hard." She eyed Wallflower's tummy, where the first hints of a baby bump were starting to show. "I mean, we're practically experts at parenting by this point."
Wallflower couldn't help but laugh. "Maybe, but soon we won't be able to outnumber the kids anymore. It's gonna get a lot tougher without the numbers advantage."
"Eh, I'm sure we can handle it." Sunset smirked. "Have you thought of any more names to add to the list?"
"I think we have more than enough already," Wallflower said. "Although, is your mom still coming over for dinner next weekend? I actually wanted to ask her if she had any suggestions."
"Oh God, Wally, look…" Sunset rolled her eyes as she shifted a still-entranced Holly from one arm to the other. "If you ask her for baby names, all you'll get are like… weird space puns or something. I don't want our next kid to get bullied in school because her grandma couldn't keep her astronomy obsession in check."
"All I'm saying is that it doesn't hurt to ask," Wallflower said. "You're allowed to say no to her suggestions."
Sunset sighed, then smiled. "Yeah… Yeah, you're right. No harm in asking. Besides, she'll just be happy to be included."
"Exactly." Wallflower pulled Sunset—and Holly by extension—into a light hug. "She's part of the family too."
Family.
Wallflower let herself sit with that word for a moment.
For the first time in her life, she had a family. Not a violent, hateful person she was related to and lived with, not a loose group of friends that she was technically a part of—she had a wife, a daughter, a mother-in-law… For years, Wallflower had been denied a family. Now, with Sunset, she had managed to make her own, and it was everything she'd ever wanted.
As she watched her daughter reach gleefully towards the sky, heard her wife tell their daughter about the stars, and felt the curve of her tummy wherein her second daughter was growing, Wallflower took that thought, cradled it, nurtured it, and breathed and lived in awe of its truth.
She made her own family.
It hadn't been easy. Even just surviving until she found Sunset hadn't been easy. The months spent recovering from malnourishment, the years spent untangling her web of traumas, the final grand hurdle of learning to truly let herself be loved… The Wallflower who overcame all those things suffered through so much horror, but she survived it all—all so the Wallflower of today could be here, seeing the stars with her wife and daughter.
Despite everything that she had suffered through… It all brought her here. While she would never be grateful to the traumas inflicted upon her for laying the path that eventually led her to this moment, she was instead grateful to herself—for holding on, even when it seemed meaningless, with the distant hope that someday, far off in a future she could never have imagined, her resilience in the face of so much pain and misery might one day be worth something.
Wallflower owed it to her younger self to make the most of the life that young girl had gifted her—to make sure it was a life worth living.
"Wally?" Sunset's voice pierced the veil of Wallflower's thoughts. When Wallflower looked over at her, she saw Sunset with a sound-asleep Holly in her arms.
"Looks like staying up so late past bedtime finally caught up with her," Sunset said.
"That's alright," Wallflower said, her gaze turning skyward for the final time that night. "I'm proud of her for sticking it out so she could see this."
"Yeah," Sunset said, grinning. "She's as stubborn as her mom."
"Which one?" Wallflower smirked.
"Hmmm…" Sunset paused, cradling Holly's head with her free hand. "Whichever one is stubborn enough to be cute, but not stubborn enough to make her impossible to put to bed when she's a little older."
That got a laugh out of Wallflower—thankfully not loud enough to wake Holly.
Sunset took a few steps towards the path back to the car, then turned and held a hand out to Wallflower.
"Ready to go home?"
Breathing deeply of the cool, clear evening air, Wallflower smiled, took her wife's hand, and nodded.
With the stars and sky behind them, and a boundless, beautiful future ahead, Wallflower and her family made their way home.