//------------------------------// // Vodka and Wild Manners // Story: Nikolai Berlinski and Equestria, with no Zombies?!?! // by Awesomedude17 //------------------------------// Nikolai Berlinski and Equesria, with no Zombies?!?! By Awesomedude17 "Umm, girls, we can explain." "What is there to explain? You and butter pony, or whatever her name is, is in same bed as you. Wait, did I drunk sleepwalk again? I swore I was getting punched by Eagle-Lion thing." Nikolai needed a drink now, but Nikolai had an idea. I am going to taunt the sh... "Rarity, how long have you and Fluttershy been... together?" Twilight had to know, she just had to. "Oh, dear." Rarity took a big gulp and finally said, "4 months now, in secret." Rainbow had just recovered from the shock. "How, I mean, Fluttershy I knew was a fillyfooler since near the end of flight school, but you." Twilight soon spoke up, "Wait, you knew? How?" "Well, she kinda told me a while back, but I'm into stallions, not mares." "I would have thought that you would swing both ways." Nikolai was being quiet for no reason and wanted to take advantage of the moment, his worst enemy in this colorful world was gay. My worst enemy in this colorful world is gay, awesome. "You know, you're a real jerk sometimes." "And fancy pony that reminds me of fourth wife is gay, what is your excuse?" "Umm... girls..." "You want a fight?" "I'm drunk, of course I want to fight... I think." "Girls." "Let's do it." "DA. Let us fight for... wait, why are we fighting, I forget." "GIRLS!" The 6 others turned to Fluttershy, "Please, can't we discuss this without violence... eep!" Fluttershy hid behind Rarity at the sight of the Russian Soviet. Rarity thought it was cute, maybe that's why she would want be with her, even if it means the rest of her life. "Okie Dokie Lokie, to the living room." Pinkie was ecstatic, two of her best friends were dating, that called for a party. "Okay, but I must take big Russian bear shit now, where is bathroom?" Rarity looked at disgust at the Russian and then said, "Down the hall, second door to the right." "Thank you." "Hmmm... toilet is small, like second wife's tits" Nikolai looks at the small, pony-sized toilet and shrugged. He took off his pants and sat down and let nature do the rest. "Oh, shit! Shitting in small toilet is uncomforte... uncomfit... uncomfyta... not good feeling." When Nikolai was done he sat up and flushed the toilet. He then was putting up his pants and felt... water? "Oh crap, I clogged toilet. Oh think Nikolai, think. Okay I got it." Nikolai grabbed a plunger and started plunging the clog, with little success. "Oh, uh, ohhh." The toilet started shaking violently. Shit. The 6 mares were waiting for Nikolai, despite Rarity's attempt to start without him. Rainbow was starting to get bored. "How long do it take to go to the bathroo..." BLAM! Rarity did not want to know what that was, but she had to. She walked to the bathroom and saw what had happened. "AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" The other 5 mares ran over and saw the mess. Twilight was just as flabbergasted as Rarity. "How does someone blow up a toilet when using it?" "I don't know, I know that I clogged it and tried to fix it by using plunger." "I... I can't even..." Twilight looked to Rarity, and notice something she wished she could make go away. "Untie me, BITCH!" "No! You insult my perfume, call me that horrible name and ruined my bathroom. I shall not untie you until this meeting is over." "FUCK YOU!" was all Nikolai could scream before he was gagged with a cloth. "Now then, about Fluttershy and I." "Yeah, Ah suspected somethin' was up when ya two started to hang out more." "Well Applejack, I will tell you the story about how we fell in love." Ugg, I am going to have hell from story, and I can't make it fun. Fancy pony is going to be dead like eighth wife. I guess it was accident cut down tree fell on her. "Okay, Fluttershy, come here." "Oh yes, sure." Fluttershy flew to Rarity and kissed her on the cheek. "Okay, it started 4 months ago." -4 months ago- Rarity had just finished a high profile dress, the last high profile dress on her list, and now had free time. "Hmm, I wonder how..." Rarity had just realized what day it was and saw the time. "Oh my goodness, I'm almost late for my weekly spa visit with Fluttershy." And so Rarity rushed over to the spa to meet up with Fluttershy. She arrived there, just on time. "Ah, Fluttershy, darling, I almost missed our spa appointment didn't I." "Oh no, you're just on time Rarity" Oh how I enjoy our times here, almost a much as I enjoy you, Rarity. "Right, the usual please." Aloe nodded and proceeded, with her sister, Lotus, to give Rarity and Fluttershy their usual spa treatments. During the mud bath, Rarity decided to ask Fluttershy something, "Fluttershy, do you have a special somepony?" Fluttershy hesitated, but answered nonetheless, "Oh, um, no." "What! Well that won't do at all, Fluttershy come to my house and we'll discuss finding this special somepony of yours, alright?" "Oh sure." I already found her anyway, I just need to tell you. Oh why must I be so nervous towards her, she's my best friend. "Great!" They just finished their day at the spa and Rarity had paid for everything. They then left. "So, meet me in the afternoon to discuss finding the stallion of your dreams." But, you're not a stallion Rarity. "Oh, okay. See you later Rarity." "See you later." And then the went their separate ways, unaware that that night, something would happen that would change everything. Oh, God. That was horrible, it was so mushy. I want to go home, if I had one. Twilight was really into this story, "Huh, so Fluttershy was the one who told you?" "Well, I guess it was safe to assume that she told me. But I must tell the rest first, alright?" The other mares agreed, but Nikolai continued to shake his head no. Oh God, NO, WHY? WHY ME? Fluttershy had reached Carousel Boutique, and was ready to enter. This may be the only chance you'll get tell Rarity, Fluttershy. Don't blow it. Fluttershy reached out and knocked on the door. A few minutes later, Rarity came out. "Oh, Fluttershy, come in, come in." "Sure." Fluttershy trotted in and made herself at home. "Do you want some tea Fluttershy, Darling?" "Oh yes, please." Darling, she makes it seem special when she says it to me. Rarity went into the kitchen to make some tea. She came out a few minute later with some tea in two cups. "There you go Fluttershy." "Thank you." They just sipped their tea for a few minute before Rarity spoke up. "So Fluttershy, are you ready to talk about your special somepony?" "Yes, yes I am." "Excellent. Now, first off, is there any pony that catches your eye?" That's a cue, if any. "Yes." "O really, who is he, is he from Ponyville?" "Well actually, the pony is not a he... eep." Fluttershy covered her mouth after saying that, as if it was a deep secret. It's not even that secret, Rainbow knows after... well, that day. "Really, I didn't know you were a fillyfooler Fluttershy." "Well, I just... eee." Oh no. What if Rarity isn't a fillyfooler like I am, what if... what if... "Fluttershy..." "Oh, yes Rarity." "Is 'she' from Ponyville?" Fluttershy hesitated a little, but answered, "Yes." "Hmmm, tell me, who is she so we can go to her and you can tell her." "Umm... well... I..." "Fluttershy, there is nothing to worry about, I once heard that sometimes in life, you got to say, 'What the heck!', and go for it." What the heck and... That's it. Fluttershy turned to her friend and looked her in the eyes. "Umm, Fluttershy, darling, are you al... MMPH!" Fluttershy had just given Rarity a deep, passionate kiss. Rarity didn't know why, but... but it felt so good to her and she kissed back. It must have been quite a while because when they parted their mouths, they were panting. Rarity finally spoke up after a while. "Fluttershy! I... I had no idea. I..." "Rarity, I loved you for quite a while, I want you to be my special somepony. Will you?" Rarity thought about it, she did love the kiss, and she never would have guessed that she herself was a fillyfooler. Oh, what the hay. "Yes Fluttershy, I love you too." Fluttershy gave squee of joy and hugged her new marefriend. I love you Rarity, I want be with you forever. Is it over? Is the horrible, mushy love story over? Oh good, that was fucking horrible. Nikolai did not like the story, maybe because romance was not Nikolai's thing. As for the mares, they just looked at Fluttershy, not believing that she did something so brash. That's Rainbow Dash's style. "So, that's how we fell in love." "Wow, Rarity. This is unexpected." Twilight said. "Well, it would have a secret longer if Nikolai hadn't barged in like that." Nikolai angrily gave muffled yells. Twilight deadpanned. "Somepony untie him." "All right Twi." Applejack said before moving to untie Nikolai. Once the gag was removed, Nikolai began his defense. "I was sleepwalking." Rarity looked skeptical. "Sleepwalking?" "Yes, I can sleepwalk only when I am drunk." Twilight seemed interested "Really? Rarity, what he said seems to be true. We saw him sleepwalk out of the bar." "Did he pass out drunk?" "Neit, lion-eagle, thingy punched me out cold." "You mean a gryphon?" "Whatever, I need drink." "Oh, no you don't." Twilight said taking the bag of bits Nikolai had, "Your drinking cost me 42 bits, you now owe me 17 bits, so you going to have to help me at the library to pay it off." "That doesn't seem bad." "I have a strict no food or drink policy, and it applying to your vodka too." Nikolai eyes widened, he dropped to the floor and gave a dramatic bellowing position while screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Everypony just looked at Nikolai, Applejack finally said, "Quit bein' a baby. Yer stayin' with me tonight." Nikolai brightened up and said "Okay, let me drink first though."