Once upon a time in the magical land of New Mexico there once lived two brothers in crime. One, the chemist named Walter White was an experienced chemist who turned to making meth in an attempt to help his family live a better life before he died of ball cancer. The other, a meth addict named Jesse Pinkman was a meth addict. Nothing much to say there.
One day, a portal mysteriously appeared after an accident at the meth lab. The showed a visage of an entire city made of pure methamphetamine, a treasure trove for dealers like them.
"Yo Mr White yo that looks sick man."
"Jesse we must take that city and get free meth Jesse."
"But yo mR White yo it looks like there are ponies there yo."
"Jesse the ponies are made of meth Jesse."
"Omg, yo Mr White I think your right yo."
Jesse and Walt stepped through the portal and found their new city. Almost immediately they were beset by Cadence and the Royal Guards.
Cadence flicked her hair to one side. "Hello, my name is Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Nice to meet you." She awkwardly outstretched her hoof to try and get a hoofshake, but Walter kinda just stared at the horse like this 
it was really intimidating tbh.
Jesse scratched his balls and tried to discreetly sniff his fingers. He thought no one had noticed. Everyone had noticed. "Yo Mr. White yo that pink horse just talked yo." Jesse was scared.
"Jesse. Get the glock."
Jesse ran back through the portal and Walt could hear Jesse throwing stuff every which way looking for the blippity blop that just don't stop.
Cadence stepped back a bit. Walter seemed very hostile ngl. "Your 'glockenspiel'? What is that?"
Walter just looked at Cadence like this again
Jesse came running back through the portal and tackled Cadance, taking her hostage with the glizzy. "Yo this is a hostage situation yo! Stand back yo!"
Walter spoke up. "This city is now the property of Los Crystal Meth Empire Hermanos LLC Corp. Your meth is now forfeit."
All of the crystal ponies which I neglected to mention up to this point had gathered very suddenly to gasp in a very comical fashion. Spika, AKA Spike but R63d shows up and is immediately knocked out by Walt with a quick one-two Karate Kid jab that he knows because I say so. Apparently she was here on some stupid friendship quest or something rather daft.
Deep in the ancient catacombs of Canterlot Castle lies a dormant beast shackled by his societal expectations and the brick wall he is too lazy to break through. A long time ago Celestia was making renovations to the Castle and accidentally trapped the beast named BLOOD DEATH in the dark and dreary basement. Never having learned a teleportation spell (because he was to kool 4 skool) BLOOD DEATH was forced to stay dormant in the darkness for over a thousand years and watch Bleach and Naruto. Thanks to his alicorn coolness tho he was able to break free after learning that his waifu for laifu Twilight Sparkle (princess of equestria) was in danger from an otherworldly threat from a land called Albuquerque. BLOOD DEATH didn't know what weird ass place a name like that could possibly come from but if his time in self imposed isolation has taught him anything its that the darkest darkness is really the friends we made along the way.
I heard that in movie theaters in like India or something have a 15 minute intermission during every movie. Yeah. Even modern movies. Go take a break from this mind-melting stupidity for a minute or 69000.
Jesse stood out over the balcony of the castle in the center of the Crystal Empire. The Royal Guard were converted into the much more respectable Meth Guard. Their job was to teach the ponies how to make meth. There was already 14 reported fatalities by sundown.
"Necessary sacrifices upon the altar of progress yo." Jesse thought out loud.
"Maybe if you saw real dead people more often you wouldn't be so jovial."
The sudden realization that he was not alone forced Jesse to turn around. He saw a bald pony wearing a leather zip up with a trout as a cutie mark. It was Mike. Mike Ermentraut.
"Yo what are you doing here yo? And what happened yo?"
Mike made a really tough looking expression and grumbled a bit before spitting out a few words. "I walked through your portal and for some reason I'm a pony."
"Science yo!"
"Look Jesse, I don't think you should be doing this Jesse. Think of all the foals Jesse. They should be learning their ABCs not making meth."
Jesse grabbed his nuts again and pointed at Mike. "Great achievement is born of great selfishness yo, not of personal sacrifice yo."
Mike Ermentraut took out a dead fish and tossed it at Jesse. Jesse dodged him and pulled out the silly goose and lit Mike tf up. Nobody throws a dead trout at JESSE FUCKING PINKMAN.
"Yo Mike. You is right. But your also wrong. I can and will use child labor to build my meth empire and nobody is going to stop me."
Jesse laughed like the Joker and the camera pans out to reveal that Walt was looking all along. Mike looks at Walt and with his dying breaths he tries to appeal to Walts humanity.
"Waltuh. Don't do this to the little ponies Waltuh." He cried with pained words.
Waltuh looked down at his old colleague.
"I am the one who makes meth using ponies."
Mike sheds a single tear before looking down and dying alone and fearful of the future. "Who will save the ponies?"
BLOOD DEATH stands in front of the Crystal Palace looking at Waltuh and Jesse. Twilight Sparkle, who was looking quite pissed atm was surprised to see another alicorn, let alone a male thespian alicorn. His goofy ah face kinda ruined the whole moment tho. She was tied up kinda like Princess Leah from Star Wars and Walt had grown like 600 pounds in the last 20 minutes. (I really want that star wars scene ok?)
"Yo who the bitch are you yo?" Jesse said.
"I am the flame under your ass. The lego under your foot. I am the getter of all bitches. Now who need they ponussy ate?"
Twilight scrunched her nose. "Fuck off." Jesse Walt and Twilight said in unison.
BLOOD DEATH kinda just stared at them like this 
Walt looked back like this
"Yo fuck this yo" Jesse pulled out the stanka wank and fired off a single shot. And it would be his last.
BLOOD DEATH had cast a reflection spell at light speed because he's schwifty like that and the bullet bounced back and struck Jesse right in the balls.
"JESSEEEEEE." Walt immediately dropped everything, including Twilight who gracefully fell right on her face like an idiot. Walt scooped up Jesse and started yelling "MEDIIIIC!!! I NEED A MEDIC!!!." But no help came.
"Yo Mr. White yo… I don't feel so good." Jesse reached up to HeisenWaltuhs face before crumbling to dust like that one scene in Infinity War.
"Jesse… how could I be so blind?" HeisenWaltuh shed a single tear as his meth partner, his student, his only friend he had left, disappeared before his eyes.
He stood up, causing the road to crack underneath him. "I'll be back. Just you wait. I'll be back you hear me!?!" HeisenWalt pointed a sausage finger at BLOOD DEATH.
"Ok whatever just leave my waifu alone."
"Fuck off"
HeisenWalt sorta hobbled back to the portal, squeezing in and falling through the other side when the portal closed behind him.
To be continued…