//------------------------------// // Devil's in the House of the Rising Sun // Story: Returning Survivor // by Itchy //------------------------------// Mecha sat on a stool in his office, tuning his fiddle. After the whole fiasco involving the violin during the Hearth's Warming Feast, he decided to start practicing again. After all, he couldn't count on Dissonant Babel to play what he needed to, and the saying goes, “If you want something done right, do it yourself.” Picking up the bow, Mecha was about to start when Rainbow Dash walked in. “Oh!” she said, stopping when she saw Mecha about to start. “Am I interrupting?” Shaking his head, Mecha put down the instrument, saying, “Not at all. In fact, I normally don't play at all anymore, but still.” Looking at the instrument that Mecha had put down, Rainbow Dash said, “Never figured you for a violin player. Just doesn't seem... I dunno, dangerous.” Chuckling, Mecha replied, “One, it's a fiddle, and two, its more dangerous than you'd think. After all, you're required to learn how to play it in the scouting division.” Raising an eyebrow, Rainbow Dash said, “Really? Doesn't seem that useful. I mean, how often would you use it?” Letting out a full blown laugh, Mecha replied, “More often then you'd think. Although, the reason I used it is different from the norm. Usually, it's for a cover as a bard or something, but nevertheless, it's a useful skill. But we're off topic, whatcha need?” At this point, Rainbow Dash started to stutter, before lightly kicking the floor, refusing to look Mecha in the eyes. “W-w-well, you see... um, that is t-to say...” Getting slightly irritated, Mecha said, “Just spit it out! It can't be that bad, can it?” Blushing, Rainbow Dash replied, “I... kinda came here for some advice...” Eyebrow raised, Mecha waved his hoof, saying “About...?” “Asking somepony out on a date...” Rainbow Dash muttered. Mecha blinked, not quite sure as to what he heard. “Come again?” he said, stunned. “Cause it sounded like you asked for dating advice.” Looking around, Rainbow Dash replied, “Look, I'm serious, okay? Just please don't tell anypony, it's embarrassing!” Sighing, Mecha went up to the window and changed his OPEN sign to CLOSED. “You're in luck,” he told her, walking back to his stool. “Snips and Snails are out for the day, so we have the shop to ourselves. Now, why don't you...” he started, before being cut off by Big Macintosh knocking on the door with Applejack standing near him. “What do you need?” Mecha hollered towards them. “Need ta borrow your back room for a private chat!” Big Macintosh replied. Shaking his head, Mecha took a glance at Rainbow Dash, who suddenly regained her nervous look. “Don't worry,” Mecha told her, walking up to the door to let Big Macintosh and Applejack into the building. “The backroom is completely sealed off from the main room, sound wise at least.” “Thanks,” Big Macintosh said to Mecha, as he and his sister walked into Mecha's backroom. At this point, Mecha noticed that Applejack was just as nervous as Rainbow Dash... and both seemed to be eying the other when they thought the other wasn't looking. “So,” Mecha started once the door closed, “You wanna know how to ask Applejack out?” “W-wha... h-h-how... I-I-I mean...” Rainbow Dash started. “Yeah,” Mecha started, “That is not my area of expertise. In fact, the only experience I have with lesbians involve either being beaten up by one for asking her out in a manner that made me seem like a bigoted jerk, or on a blind double date with a gay brother from one of the couples.” At this moment, Big Macintosh stuck his head out the door, and said, “Mecha, can ah speak with ya for a sec?” Sighing, Mecha replied, “Sure, have Applejack come out and we can talk.” And so Mecha and Applejack swapped places, with Mecha shutting the door so Big Macintosh could speak, saying, “Ah need your help.” “Applejack ask you for advice to ask out Rainbow Dash?” Mecha asked. Blinking, Big Macintosh merely nodded his head, saying, “Eeyup.” Rubbing his forehead with his hoof, Mecha told him, “Okay, cause Rainbow asked me for advice to ask Applejack out. So, first things first, you have any reason for the two not to date?” Shaking his head, Big Macintosh replied, “Eenope. Might be good for the two, get AJ to relax a little and get Rainbow Dash ta take work more serious.” Nodding his head, Mecha asked, “Wanna just send them on a date in Canterlot?” Shrugging his shoulders, Big Macintosh said, “Why not? Be easier than trying to give them advice.” So, turning around, the two friends stepped through the doors, before grabbing Rainbow Dash and Applejack and started walking towards the train station. “Hey! What's the big idea!” Rainbow Dash hollered, trying to get loose from Mecha's grip. “We're saving you both a lot of trouble,” Mecha told her, ignoring the stares they were getting from the ponies they passed. “You two are going to Canterlot,” he continued, buying the tickets from the booth, “And having dinner at... hey, Big M, the bar open yet?” “Eeyup,” came Big Macintosh, pushing his sister onto the train. “Right, you're having dinner at Poker Night Potshot,” Mecha told them, handing them a bag of bits, “And you'll mention that we sent you. When they ask for proof, tell them the phrase, 'the drunks did it again,' and they'll believe you. Then, go catch a movie or something, I don't care!” At this point, any response the two could've made was cut off by the whistle blowing, signaling the train leaving the station. “Enjoy your date you two!” Mecha yelled, waving towards the leaving train. Turning to Big Macintosh, Mecha asked, “Think we were to forceful?” Big Macintosh brought his hoof up to his chin and rubbed it, before replying, “Eenope.” Normally, Mecha would've nodded his head and been off on his merry way. This time, however, Twilight Sparkle showed up, a blue letter being pulled along with magic, huffing and puffing. “Mecha... emergency... Celestia told me... to get this... to you...” she puffed out, handing the message to Mecha. Grabbing it out of the air, Mecha opened the letter, before groaning. “Of course... they just had to have me in Canterlot the moment the train leaves the station...” Glancing at the letter, Big Macintosh's eyes went wide before looking back at his friend, and asked, “How do ya plan on gettin' there?” Sighing, Mecha replied, “By the one way that's fast enough... by cannon.” LINEBREAKER Mecha was packing powdered hydra scale into the cannon he'd built next to his home, while Twilight Sparkle and Big Macintosh watched. Seeing Mecha grab a circular metal plate, Twilight Sparkle felt compelled to ask, “Why do you have a cannon?” Pushing the plate down the cannon, Mecha grabbed a saddlebag and placed his fiddle in it, saying, “Was meant to be a faster way to deliver packages. Unfortunately, I never quite figured out a way around landing difficulties of the delivery, so the project was scrapped. In fact, I was planning on melting this thing down later this week.” Watching Mecha grab two bags with fuses coming out from the top, Twilight asked, “And what is preventing you from facing the same difficulties?” “Simple,” Mecha replied. “I'm going to bring bombs with me.” Twilight Sparkle blinked, before saying, “Wouldn't that make things worse?” Shaking his head, Mecha primed the cannon, saying, “Nah, they'll be in the main compartment with me. So, one of you wanna light this thing,” as he hopped into the cannon. Looking over the cannon once more, Big Macintosh sighed before grabbing a torch and lighting the cannon. Two seconds later and a loud BOOM could be heard across Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle stared wide-eyed at Big Macintosh, who shrugged his shoulders and said, “What? He's been through worse.” LINEBREAKER Mecha grimaced as he flew through air... again. He really wished he could keep his hooves on the ground, but nooooo. Luna and Celestia just had to have an emergency that required him in Canterlot moments after the train left the station. Oh well... here comes his stop. Grabbing one bag, Mecha lit the fuse before tossing it in front of him, timing it so that the bag of powdered hydra scale blew up right in time to negate his forward force... causing him to free fall towards Canterlot. Grabbing the second bag, he lit it and tossed it towards the ground, with the proper timing to allow him a safe landing. Landing softly on his hooves, Mecha took a quick glance over himself. Fur? Singed, but still attached. Mane? Still red, although a hint of soot in it. Limbs? Intact. He survived being shot out of a cannon. Smiling, Mecha hopped onto his hind legs, cheering and dancing. “Um, sir?” came one of the Canterlot guards. “You're tail-” only to be cut off when Mecha grabbed him and started swinging him around. “I survived! I survived! And completely unharmed! Take that flight!” Mecha shouted, pointing at the sky for the last part. Settling down, he coughed a bit before turning towards the guard, and said, “Er, sorry about that. I'll... be on my way,” before he trotted into the town. Blinking, the guard watched Mecha head towards the palace, before shrugging his shoulders, and saying, “He'll figure it out soon enough.” LINEBREAKER Having made his way to the palace, Mecha stared at the spectacle in front of him. There, on the newly built stage in front of the palace, was a fiddle of gold. Standing next to it, was a tiny little imp looking thing, shouting, “Come one, come all! See if you can beat the great and talented Diable in a fiddle contest! The prize should you win is this grand golden fiddle!” At this, the crowd began whispering amongst themselves, for a golden fiddle was indeed a prize worth trying for. “Don't listen to the little devil,” Mecha hollered. “Diable here is forgetting to tell you what happens when you lose. I'm willing to bet if you'd heard the cost of a loss you'd not be see quick to jump to the challenge.” Grinding his teeth, Diable said, “You just had to be the one those Lust-forsaken goody-four-shoes princesses sent for, didn't you?” “Considering the fact that I'm the only pony to come out of a fiddle contest against a devil with my soul, I'd say so,” Mecha replied, smirking. At this point, the ponies in the crowd widened their eyes. They'd almost lost their souls to this devil? No wonder the little thing hadn't mentioned the possible cost, no-pony would've taken him up on the challenge had they known that! “And the fact that the devil I'd beaten was you, and the choice was obvious,” Mecha continued, walking up the stairs to the stage. Growling, Diable grabbed his fiddle from next to him, and said, “You realize that this time I'll be much more serious.” Chuckling, Mecha replied, “Of course. After all, you devils take your fiddle playing way too serious. I mean, wagering your own soul on the re-match? You must be crazy,” as he pulled his own fiddle out. An evil smirk graced Diabe's face, looking out of place on the small being. “Except this time, we're playing battle music.” Frowning, Mecha channeled a little magic into his eyes in order to see what the devil was up to, only for them to widen when he saw the Pride-forsaken imp channel magic into the fiddle, causing sickly purple notes of magic to appear and head towards Mecha upon playing them. Caught off guard, Mecha was lightly cut by the notes, causing Diable to smirk. “Not so high and mighty now, are you?” he taunted, laughing evilly. “After all, it's a well known fact that Earth Ponies can't use magic!” At this point, it was Mecha's turn to laugh. “Actually, we just need some training to do so,” he replied, before imitating Diable and sending a few black notes towards him. Eyes widening, Diable span around two of them, before taking a gash in his side. Growling, Diable put the bow back to the fiddle, and started to play as fast as a professional fiddler, sending hundreds of notes towards Mecha, who responded in a similar manner, with his notes canceling out most of Diable's each getting two or three through that the other had to dodge. The crowd gathered in front of them watched with wide eyes, as the two did deadly combat with music. They'd known before hand how powerful music could be in Equestria, but this was ridiculous! After all, these two were bleeding from it, and yet they still continued to send hundreds of notes at the other! Diable's pupils were shrinking as the fought raged on, this was not how it was suppose to go! Growling, he picked up the pace, nearly doubling his note output. There should be no way Mecha could keep up with him now! Mecha, however, still had a few tricks up his sleeve. Showing just why the fighting circles of Equestria called him quicksilver, Mecha matched the increase speed, and in fact increased it some more. At this point, both fiddlers were heavily injured, and it wouldn't take much more for at least one of them to fall. They both narrowed their eyes, as they fiddled faster and faster, stepping closer and closer towards the other. The cloud of notes in front of them was a solid black and purple, bursts of gray smoke occurring where they collided. The crowd watched with baited breath as the two got within inches of each other, before the two picked up the pace again, causing a giant explosion of notes, obscuring their vision, and causing a ringing in their ears. When the ringing stopped, no-pony could hear any music, showing that the battle was over. Now, they waited for the smoke to clear, revealing... Mecha, standing over the unconscious Diable, looking as if he'd just been through a hurricane. His singed fur was matted with blood from the numerous cuts all over him, and he was wobbling on his hind legs. Looking down, he sat down and laughed, before stopping and holding his bruised ribs. Suddenly, a voice rang out from the crowd, saying, “Mecha? How the hay did you get here before us?” Turning to see Rainbow Dash and Applejack standing in the crowd, Mecha gave another chuckle before saying, “I shot myself out of a cannon.” Blinking, Applejack stared at him, before asking, “Is that why your tail is on fire?” Turning to face his tail, Mecha blinked, before saying, “I was wondering why my flanks were getting warm.” LINEBREAKER Mecha was back in Ponyville, walking towards his home. He needed to drop off his fiddle, the fiddle of gold, and the still out cold Diable after all. However, this plan was cut short when Sugary Spice ran up to him and said, “Dad! You're almost late! Family Appreciation Day starts in five minutes!” Blinking, Mecha tried to make sense of what his daughter said. Family Appreciation Day... Oh buck! Was that today?! Sighing, Mecha said, “Don't worry, I'm sure Cheerilee will understand why I was late when we get there, before trotting off with her into the the school. Stepping up to the front of the classroom after Cheerilee introduced, Mecha stared at the class. The class stared back. After all, how often does a cut-up, singed pony with a burning tail come to speak in front of the class room? Sighing, Mecha turned to Cheerilee, and asked, “Can I get a glass of water?” Nodding, Cheerilee handed one to Mecha, who used it to finally put his tail out. Turning back to the class, Mecha started to say, “You all know who I am...” when Diable started to come to, and stumbled out of the saddlebag. “Where am I?” the devil mumbled, looking around the room. Grabbing his newly won golden fiddle from the saddlebag, Mecha quickly hit him upside the head, sending him back into dreamland. “And this is the kind of crap I deal with on a near daily basis. Any questions?”