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// Chapter 125: Did I or Didn't I? That's a Question 
// Story: Marshmallow Dreams 
// by Halira 
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Being a Dreamwarden who wills oneself to wake up does not make it so you wake up fully aware of your surroundings or without nasty little eye-crusts. The first thing I noticed was something long and metal in front of my face. The second thing I noticed was a painful tightness in my barrel. The third was the shouting.

"Don't think you've stopped me because you destroyed my phone! I'm adding destruction of property to my charges with the police!" Mom shouted. 

"Please calm down," Blanche pleaded. "We're doing what we were ordered to do. We knew that she could suffer some complications."

"My baby could be dying and you won't let me call an ambulance!"

I finally realized what the metal thing in front of my face was. It was a leg. 

"Hey, Locutus of Bear, you're about to step on my head," I said as loud as I could manage. 

"Rebecca's awake!" Meadow shouted. "Can we please stop this? I can check her breathing and make sure she's okay."

"Check her," Ashley instructed. 

I was getting an idea who the parties were in this. There was Blanche, Ashley, Jonathan, and Locutus of Bear on one side, all surrounding me. On the other were my parents, Russell, and Maggie. Meadow, Julie, Sunflower, and Roger were all bystanders unsure what to do. I didn't know where Melissa was if Locutus of Bear was here; maybe back home, asleep. Someone had to go to sleep to alert Miss Seapony. I could put together what happened fairly easily, so I didn't need an explanation. I'd had a rough go at it when the Oaths and binding were being done. My parents, Russell, and Maggie had panicked and tried to call 911. Blanche, Ashley, and Jonathan had been under orders to keep anyone from doing that if this came up. Some fighting broke out, and Melissa and Locutus of Near noticed since they were monitoring the house on Miss Seapony's orders. One of those two went to sleep to alert us, and the other rushed over here to help guard me. I figured this all out quickly after having just woken up and dealing with a big pain in my lungs. Maybe the binding had made me smarter.   

"Please, no fighting, and no ambulances," I said. "I feel like I've been on a treadmill for an hour, but I'll be okay. Meadow can check me out, but I think I'm just out of breath."

Meadow rushed over to me and put a hoof on my side. I could hear her counting silently under her breath, checking my heart rate and breathing. She was keeping her face neutral, but I could see the worry in her eyes. 

"Meadow, you're a good friend. It's okay that you were scared, but I promise I'll lay off the cookies…for tonight. Dreamwarden's honor," I said with a smile.

The others heard me, and I heard a gasp or two. Why the shock? They knew why I had just gone through what I just went through. I suppose emotions had been running high and some may have forgotten during all that.

"It's finished? You're a Dreamwarden?" Sunflower asked. 

"I'm a Dreamwarden. My chubs are twenty percent more glorious," I said. I giggled, but that hurt. Wow, it must have been rough.

Meadow removed her hoof. "Well, Miss Chubby Dreamwarden, your heart rate is still a little high and your breathing is still a little rough. You don't want any ambulance, but can I convince you to let someone take you to an ER? I'd feel better about it if you did, most of us would. I'm still convinced you had a heart attack."

"Okay, if it will make everyone feel better. Just for a doctor to check me out. I'm not going to spend the night there," I conceded. "I don't want people to be unhappy. This is a happy day." I looked at the group that had been guarding me. "Thank you for your service. I know it must have been hard to do. You must have been wanting to call for help as well. Mom, Dad, please, don't be mad at them, they were doing what they were supposed to do."

"What happened to make you thrash around like that?" Russell asked.

I shook my head. "I'm not sure. I can't say everything I experienced, because some of what I experienced involves still living people. I'll say some though. I was a bunch of sentient gasses living on the surface of a star for a bit. I was a father crying, holding his daughter right before their world was destroyed by the Devourers. I was an angry primordial, committing complete genocide against all magical life. I was a young alien dragon, playing with his friend among ancient ruins. I even remember sewing that creepy old doll. I was many other things. I was all the Dreamwardens who had ever been, experiencing their happy moments, their tragedies, and all the little moments in between. I experienced them like they had happened to me; like I was the one there– millions of years of experiences stretching back billions of years. It's…a lot to take in and handle. That's probably why I was thrashing around and having such a hard time."

"You remember…everything from all that?" Maggie whispered. 

"Right now I remember the stuff I focused on, not everything. I didn't consciously choose what I focused on and can't tell for sure why I focused on those things," I clarified. "I think there are holes in it, even when I'm in the dream realm. It's kinda compartmentalized when I'm there. They're my memories, but stored away, and not mine. Things to be accessed when called upon while I'm sleeping."

"And how much of you is you after all that?" Mom asked worriedly. 

I gave her a gentle smile. "I'm still me, just me with new features. I haven't figured out what all the new features are, only some. There's no user manual, I have to figure them out. You guys will probably figure out some of them before me. They're part of me, so they don't stand out as much if I'm not trying to analyze it."

"You're being very calm and logical about all this," Roger remarked. "Far more so than I would normally attribute to you."

I giggled. I needed to stop doing that. It made my lungs ache. "Maybe that's a bit of Psychic Calm in me." Then I thought again about the fact Psychic Calm was leaving, and I broke down crying– which again hurt, but I didn't care. "My brother is going away! I don't know if I want to be awake when it happens to watch it on the news or asleep to be with the others. I think asleep. We should be together. Miss Seapony, Phobia, and Ghadab are going to take it the hardest. I need to be with them."

"Okaaay…that was a quick flip of emotion there," Julie said warily. "This is going to take some getting used to."

"The bond between Dreamwardens is a big deal. Phobia Remedy talked to me about it," Sunflower explained. "Psychic Calm going away is like a family member going away without you knowing if you'll see or hear from them again, maybe an even worse feeling. To her, he isn't some person we talk about as a faraway individual anymore. He is like her brother whom she loves deeply, even after just a few minutes. She lived the Dreamwardens' lives, including his and all the others interacting with him. She inherited all that history with him."

"She's still shifting emotions pretty fast," Julie pointed out. 

"It's been a trying experience, give her time to settle," Russell said. 

I sniffled. "Thanks, Russell. If I were feeling better, I'd ask you if you wanted to rent a hotel room somewhere." Russell blinked and went wide-eyed. 

Ashley chuckled. "And there's the Yinyu in her. She wasn't even embarrassed saying that in front of everybody, including her parents. Hold onto your britches, Russell. Your relationship is about to get a whole lot more interesting."

"Becky has never been one to let embarrassment get in the way of her mouth. She's bold, and her filter is pretty weak. Nothing's new about that. All but saying let's go have sex is new, though," Stepdad said. 

"It wasn't like that. I would have only asked," I clarified. 

Mom sighed. "At least it's someone who can't get you pregnant. You're grown adults. If you two do decide to do something before you get your apartment, save your money and use your room here; just alert us in advance, and don't get too loud."

Russell rubbed his hands nervously. "Um, thanks. Bec and I are likely still going to wait, at least for a little while. I need to get used to the new stuff. She and I discussed that before."

"Yeah, he needs to know he can be happy with the enhanced me. I was a big pony to deal with before, and now there's all this extra stuff to deal with. I don't want him unhappy," I said with a sigh."That had been too forward. Sorry about that. It's going to take me a little bit to get used to this, me and everyone else."

"I'll run her to the ER," Maggie offered. "I can give updates by text, and since we're both heading to the dorms after, I might as well be the one to be her transportation and let everyone settle down. I'll keep her away from any sweets too. She promised cookies, and I was told to always pay attention to a Dreamwarden's wordings."

"I'll go with you. I'm watching her back through the rest of the year, and I don't want to walk back to school from here in the middle of the night. Meadow and Sunflower can fly back to school faster than we can get to the ER," Ashley said. 

"I'll go as well. I'm technically her bodyguard now," Blanche said. 

"I'll give you another ride, Roger. I want to go to bed soon. I expect I'm going to have a busy day tomorrow, considering I'm the red herring," Jonathan said as he laughed and shrugged his shoulders. 

Locutus of Bear gave my mom a sheepish grin. "Um, I'll pay to replace your phone. I need to go wake Melissa up and tell her everything's been taken care of." He turned and smiled at me. "Congratulations, by the way."

Mom went to the kitchen counter and grabbed her purse. "We're going to follow behind to the ER. I'm not going to bed till I know my baby is okay."

Julie looked around at everyone. "I don't think she had a heart attack. She was like this after getting off the treadmill this morning. I think she's just overworked herself for today."

I raised a wing. "I blame Sunset Blessing and Jordan for making me chase Wrinkles!"

"She must be delirious, that sentence made no sense," Stepdad said worriedly. 

Sunflower flapped her wings. "It does in context. She's not delirious."

My stepdad gave her an incredulous look. "She chased wrinkles because some famous preacher and a middle eastern country told her to? That makes sense in some context?"

"Jordan's a teenage unicorn. They both know Sunset Blessing, and she was around both of them when foalsitting a filly named Drizzle who happens to have a puppy named Wrinkles. See, contextually, it makes sense," Sunflower explained. 

Julie grimaced. "I knew she'd been active, but hadn't thought about how much she's done today until now. She really should have been resting after this morning's workout. She's not used to that level of activity. Add to that this binding thing…okay, maybe she should be checked out."

"Can someone carry me to Maggie's car?" I asked. "Walking hurts."

Russell came over and hoisted me up over his shoulder. "I got you, babe."

So it was off to the ER. I was sore and tired. It was time to take a nap.





"Back so soon, little sister?" Arbiter asked. "You weren't awake for long."

We were in the void again, and I found the void very boring. I brought up the visual representation of dreams…only with my own personal flair. 

"That's different," Ghadab muttered. 

Cakes, every dream was represented by a different cake, each with different decorations representing the mindset and personality of the dreamer. Every fruit, every spice, every color, and every flavor was present in every combination imaginable. All of them floated through a bright blue sky like clouds. Dreamwalkers traveling between dreams were represented by bits of candy, everything from gumdrops to black licorice, floating from one cake to another. 

I made an avatar of my regular old self and stood looking around at all the lovely cakes. This was making me hungry, but these cakes were not for eating. I noticed an odd cake. A very sturdy sheet cake that had many candies embedded in it, and a peppermint floating away. I focused on this peppermint, and to my surprise, the peppermint paused, as if aware it was being examined. The dreamwalker called out different Dreamwarden names questionably as if trying to deduce who was watching him. He was quite the remarkable dreamwalker to be able to sense my attention, and his cake, though plain looking, had its own remarkable qualities. I chose to read him, Silver Eclipse, and knew his thoughts, dreams, hopes, memories, and ingenuity. Such a creative pony. I would have to play with him sometime, but not yet. I was not yet announced. None of the others answered Silver Eclipse, and after a few seconds with no reply, he retreated to his dream. 

Miss Seapony created an avatar beside me of her seadragon. "Itching to interact with creative ponies, Rebecca? I know the feeling, only I seek out the warm and steamy dreams, the wet dreams fueled by lust, and those who have strong passions. It is our nature to interact with what we represent, and you chose what you represent when bound."

"I think this whole candy and cake thing is a silly way of representing our body," Ghadab grumbled. I could observe how he represented the dream realm. He, along with Phobia, and Miss Seapony, used the stars in the night sky. Arbiter's representation was different, houses on a street. Avtandil's was different again, doorways in a hallway of a hotel. Psychic Calm was not here, so I didn't know what his representation was. 

"She can look upon our body however she wishes. At least it isn't as drab as Avtandil's version. If I weren't forever asleep already, I would fall asleep looking at his representation," Miss Seapony said. 

"It is functional and orderly," Avtandil protested.

"And bor-ing!" Miss Seapony fired back. 

I looked sideways at her. "Did I have a heart attack?"

She looked away. "We can't be sure. We aren't very good at telling these things. We know there were a few moments that worried us."

Arbiter appeared, in her partial-angel form. In one hand she held her normal bronze staff, but in the other, she cupped a wooden bowl full of fruit. "I monitored you through it all. You are fully stable now, but during the binding your fruit did quiver."

I looked at the bowl, a perfect match to Sha'am Maut's cutie mark. "You seriously monitor someone dying using the same methods Sha'am Maut did?"

She shrugged.."Why break tradition? I also do it to honor the good she did rather than the ill. She was a complex individual, and if she truly does live on through that colt, I hope that she can find some redemption."

I couldn't argue with that. It wasn't the big thing on my mind anyway. I had more pressing things on my mind, like the fact I probably, doctor-diagnosis pending, had a heart attack and almost died! The way today could have gone was them saying, Hi, new sister. Guess what? You're getting phenomenal cosmic power over the dream realm…and itty-bitty living space– you're stuck here. So sorry about that. I wasn't mad about it. I'd been warned multiple times that it was possible. 

And what was the worst part? My gut reaction to this news was I wanted some cake. Talk about having a death wish. Dance classes! Right away! Right away after this week was over! Okay, I needed to do something to hold to that. 

"Miss Seapony, I promise you that I will start dance classes before the month is over," I said. 

She arched an eye ridge at me. "You know that promises are binding to us, right?"

I nodded. "That's why I made one with a timeframe. I'm making sure I'm held to it."

"You do know there is less than a week left in the month, right?" Arbiter asked. 

My eyes went wide. I hadn't thought of that. I needed to think these things through more before making promises. Me and my big mouth.