“Discord, I must confess to you, I have an issue,” Princess Celestia started as the draconequus sat in her bed chambers, drinking tea with her.
“Is it that those Elements didn’t bind to Twilight Sparkle and her friends?” he asked. “Because that seems like a slight issue if you’re looking for the pony to rule Equestria eventually. I don’t think there’s any magic I can use to work around that little detail. If they do not bind, they simply do not.”
“That’s part of it, but the other part is a little filly named Asher, who I’m sure you know all about. She claims her God delivered her to Equestria, and I was wondering if there was any way you could send her back to her place of origin.”
“Oh, I do know quite a bit about her, simply because she’s so interesting. Although no, I do not believe I would be able to do so. Even if I could, I would not.”
The white alicorn raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”
The lord of chaos chuckled. “Because I don’t want the wrath of a being more powerful than me to rain down. I might mess around, but even I am not that much a fool.”
Now Celestia scowled. “Are you suggesting her god exists?”
“Not in the way she describes, but yes. In a sort of metaphysical sense, anyway. Just as I am Discord and the Elements are Harmony, there exists a being called Order, which I believe Asher refers to. There is also Dissonance, Symmetry, and Irregularity, but don’t ask about them. There’s so much drama within our little group, like you wouldn’t believe. Sometimes I wonder if Irregularity is out to steal my job, honestly. The nerve!”
“Yes, I know of those things,” Celestia interrupted. “I understand the properties of the universe and the six Features that rule over it, and the other worlds that exist out of our own that they lord over, too. However, I struggle to believe that Order would have done this because Asher is inherently disorderly. Nor would Harmony, and I cannot begin to see how Symmetry would be involved.”
“Well, it certainly wasn’t I, and Irregularity and Dissonance are much more abstract in what they do. You are right though, I cannot see Harmony bringing this about, although it might have been Symmetry. If the filly is directly opposed to you, that would make things symmetrical again. Not very symmetrical if you rule for thousands of years on end and Order simply allows it to happen, is it?”
“I don’t believe any Feature was involved in this,” she asserted. “I believe it was a Worldgate, which is why she fits into this world seamlessly. Her age is the same as it would be on Earth, for example. As well, as far as I know, neither Order nor Symmetry nor any other Feature is known to make such small scale effects on creatures. I believe this was a random event.”
“Hmmm, I suppose it’s possible, although if it is, that’s all the more reason for me to not interfere, is it not? Random disorder is quite my cup of tea, I must say,” he told her as he sipped tea. “Pity though that I can’t ask directly. All the other Features are much too uptight to take on physical forms. I say, what’s the point of being an immortal being and a construct of the physical universe if you never talk to creatures? Good thing we’re not like that, right, Celly?”
“I’ve seen Harmony speak directly to creatures once or twice before, casting a projection of myself to do this, but in any case, I am not a deity,” she said flatly, getting a little smirk and a raised eyebrow from Discord. “I am not,” she repeated.
“You’re certainly a Feature– at least of this universe anyway. You raise the sun and bestow immortality on whoever you please. If that’s not godhood, I’m not sure what is. Although I guess you’re not a Feature if you can get flustered so easily by a little filly. But you certainly have the ability to impose your will on whatever creature you wish that resides in Equestria. Hmmm, I wonder. If Asher's god exists, would has the same ability on Earth? That would be something!”
“If I were a deity, no less, a Feature, I certainly wouldn’t entertain the filly being here. I would send her back to where she came with little hesitation.”
“Perhaps. Although perhaps that’s your issue. Trying to strictly manage the universe, even just the one Equestria resides in, is an impossible task. You need to learn to roll with the punches, as they say. You’re going to wear yourself out in another hundred years if you stay on the same path you’ve always been on. Or perhaps you already are, since you want to retire.”
“I am not a deity,” she told him one final time. “Regardless, if you’re not planning on doing anything about Asher, it’s a pointless conversation to continue. Right now, I simply want you to help Twilight learn about making friends through making friends with you.”
“I would ask what happened to stealing the Elements, but my chaotic little friend seemed to interrupt that process, which makes me believe that it’s Symmetry or Order’s doing that she’s here. But I will bring it up no further, since you are the goddess of this world.”
“I am not–”
“If you say so, Celly. I shall be off now! That pink mare in Ponyville seems like she’ll quite enjoy my antics! Ta-ta!”
He vanished with the snap of his fingers, leaving the princess to ponder what she’d been told. She wasn’t truly a deity, was she? She didn’t believe so. Sure, she was an alicorn, and sure, she managed Equus as its ruler and raised the sun, but still. She certainly wasn’t a Feature, otherwise things would be quite different right now. And even then, Features themselves weren’t deity’s either, not the way she knew or the way Asher described. They just were whatever they were and served to hold the universe together. Discord was probably the closest she knew to being an actual deity, but even he–
“What does it matter anyway?” she thought. Why things were the way they were was pointless to consider. She only cared that things were how they were now. No other world could possibly care for a moment about the operations of Equestria, nor did Equestria care about them, except her and Starswirl’s minor curiosity. She truly only cared that her world was running to her liking.
No, not her world. That Equestria was running the way it should run, not necessarily according to her desires. Although they did seem to line up. And she did call them her little ponies, but that was just a term of endearment. And sure, she was the only alicorn to be known to exist until she made her sister into an alicorn, too. And perhaps she might have–
“Don’t make me question myself, Discord!” she said to no one, then stomped off to grab a slice of cake. Discord was just doing Discordian things and stirring the pot. He was Discord, after all.
“Princess Celestia wants us to befriend somepony?” Lightning Dust asked skeptically. “What kind of mission is that? We went up against freaking Nightmare Moon before! I wanna see some action!”
“Despite her crassness, I have to admit, I was expecting something a bit more elegant and important,” Rarity agreed. “Did we not just save your brother’s wedding several moons ago? I don’t see how making a friend with some creature is a task for a group like ours.”
“This isn’t just any creature,” Twilight explained. “This is the Lord of Chaos, Discord! It took Princess Celestia and the Elements of Harmony to bring him down! Who knows what’s gonna happen when we meet him!”
“Okay, that sounds a little more awesome.”
“And once he’s our friend, we can throw him a ‘Welcome-To-Ponyville-Lord-Of-Chaos' party! Then he’d make a lot of friends, and Princess Celestia would be super duper extra happy!”
“Eeyup, and have some Apple Family apples while we’re havin’ that party.”
“If we’re supposed to make friends with him though, why did Princess Celestia need to use the Elements of Harmony on him then?” Lightning Dust asked. “Seems a little bit weird if you asked me.”
“He used to rule Equestria in a state of chaos,” the purple unicorn explained. “The land of Equestria was in misery while Discord ruled over it, so Princess Celsestia imprisoned him in stone for centuries. And now, apparently she wants to see if we can get him to use his power for good by making friends with him!”
“So we have to make friends with some chaos demon who wanted to rule Equestria and put it in a state of chaos a whole lot of years ago?” Lightning Dust asked. Then she shrugged, continuing, “Kind of weird, but I guess I can dig it. It seems kind of like there might be some cool action with that.”
“I hope he’s not scary,” Fluttershy said timidly. “A creature who Princess Celestia is worried about sounds like they might be mean, or angry for being imprisoned for so long.”
“Well, it’s what Princess Celestia wants us to do, so as scary as it is, we do have to try our best. And besides! We do have each other, so if anything goes wrong, we’ll have each other’s backs, right?”
“Yeah, and we can always show whoever this pony is who’s boss if he tries to mess with us or doesn’t wanna learn about friendship!”
“Or throw him a party! No one can say no to being friends after a good ol’ fashioned Pinkie Pie party!”
“Well, whatever happens, I’m sure that as long as we have each other, nothing can go wrong. Now let’s do this! Princess Celestia sent his statue over here to Ponyville by train, and she’s trusting us to get on this as quickly as possible, so let’s get going!”
“Wait, right now, darling?” Rarity asked. “As much as I’d like to help some evil chaos creature learn about friendship, it’s getting to be late in the day, and I must get to work on a few products I have in store before I head off to bed.”
“And Ah hafta get back ta the farm to feed them animals, er else AJ and Granny are gonna ring mah neck in.”
“Huh. Well, I guess there’s no reason why we can’t start tomorrow, but what are we supposed to do with his statue in the meantime? Princess Celestia sent me a letter a little while ago saying it was waiting for us at the train station.”
“It can stay with you at your library for the night, can it not? I’m sure it’ll be safe there in your care. And then we can get to work on the task Princess Celestia has for us in the morning. As long as he's imprisoned in stone as the princess says, there should be no issue with waiting a little while.”
“I guess that’ll work. And what harm is one night gonna do anyway? Rest is essential for any important task, after all.” Then Twilight turned and said, “I guess I need to head to the train station to bring that over to my house then. I’ll see you all in the morning.”
“Uhh… what in the world am I looking at, Twilight?” I asked as I took in a tall, chaotic looking statue of a creature standing in the middle of the pony’s library. I had to assume this was that creature she was talking about before, but I wasn’t expecting something so… strange looking. Nothing I’d seen in Equestria up to this point came close to this.
“This isn’t– is this that God-thing-whatever you were talking about before?” I asked. “Cause this looks like… I don’t know what it looks like.”
It was a weird looking creature, kind of like a snake, but with a whole bunch of extra and confused body parts attached to it, like a paw on one limb and a claw on the other. It had scales and a feathered tail and weird eyes and just looked awful. Almost uncomfortable. Just seeing the statue made me slightly uncomfortable. It was unnerving.
“This is the draconequus, Discord, that I was telling you about before, Asher,” she explained. “Princess Celestia wants us to make friends with it, remember? Or, well, she wants me to make friends with it. And we were gonna do that today, but apparently my friends have things to do before bed, so we’ll do that in the morning. Because of that, I’m keeping his statue in the library until then.”
“Uh, okay?” I said, taking a step back from the statue. It was standing on a little podium, its mouth half open, like it was letting out a scream. If I remembered correctly from a few hours ago, apparently Celestia imprisoned this thing into stone for causing unrest in Equestria. And knowing the princess, I wouldn’t have been surprised if that was completely true, or if her version of ‘unrest’ was more loose and meant not doing exactly what she wanted.
“I was just gonna head up to my room for bed now,” I said, what felt like goosebumps forming underneath my fur. “So, uh, yeah. Uh, goodnight, Twilight.”
“Good night, Asher,” she told me. “I’m gonna stay awake with Spike and try and figure out what the best plan of attack is for making friends with this thing without having it hurt Equestria. Let me know if I’m being too loud.”
“Will do,” I confirmed before quickly heading up the stairs to my bedroom, wanting to get away from that thing. I didn’t know what that thing was or any of the history behind it or what Celestia wanted to do with it, but I wanted to have no part in it. It just had… something. I didn’t know what the feeling was that it gave me, but it wasn’t a good one, and I didn’t want to have any part of it. Honestly, I hadn’t ever felt so nervous about anything as I was now since I very first met Celestia.
But apparently it wanted a part of me, because it visited my dreams that night.