//------------------------------//
// Kris Overstreet's Still a Loon (MagicS's "Why Don't We Just Eat The Unicorns?") 
// Story: Never the Final Word (Vol. 2) 
// by FanOfMostEverything 
//------------------------------//

This was a screwup
I'm making a note here- big mistake
Why did I think I could be the ruler
My little ponies
Are so very hungry, also tired
Everybody's sick to death of fresh mushroom soup

But a queen can't admit when she got it wrong
So I'll keep pretending I was right all along
Just fake it all while I flash a huge smile
That scares ponies who are still alive

I'm doing a queen's work
Keeping my ponies safe and sound
(Why isn't there a monster when you need one??)
So why can't my ponies
Figure out farming- that's their job
Why can't they find a crop or three that grows by moonlight

But I won't be discouraged by their ingratitude
Though the looks that I'm getting are a little bit rude
Why can't they see I'm right about my eternal night
My ponies who are still alive

Who am I kidding
I've made a huge mess- bucked it up
Now they've started talking cannibalism
I sent a memo
"No pony meat, please- it tastes bad."
(Faust I hope nobody asks how I found that out)

Being absolute ruler isn't one bit of fun
If this keeps up I'll have to bring back the sun
And my sister will go, "Lulu I told you so,"
In front of the ponies that are still alive

But at least they are all still alive
I managed to keep them all still alive
I mean, even Granny Smith hasn't died
(Send a guard to check that she's still alive)
(Still alive? Still alive)