//------------------------------// // The Cantorlot Socialite Nincompoop of the Year // Story: Monty Python's My Little Pony // by moviefreak523 //------------------------------// (Here is some music to go along with it) Live from Horse Glue Park, we bid you welcome and good morning. Well, it is certainly a nice, cool autumn morning without a cloud in a sky. As of right now, our seven contestants are running out towards the starting line in what many have called it to a very exciting show. And, we are happy to agree with that sentiment as the contestants get ready to compete in the 667th Annual Canterlot Socialite Nincompoop of the Year Competition. Our seven contestants seem to be having a bit of a tough time trying to find the starting line, but that is no big shock. Now, this year’s competition had some bit of a financial problem. We had not been given enough funds for this event because some of our usual sponsors are now protesting that this event is sending the wrong message about how the Canterlot Socialite behaves. Quite honestly, I really do not see were they could get such a silly idea. But nonetheless, there was a point we may not be able to hold this event if it weren’t for a wonderful pony who was willing to fund this event. Course, this sponsor wishes to remain anonymous, and wishes to oblige in giving some ideas on what sort of obstacles our sponsor would like to see. The judges like them so much, so they are being used, for the first time, in this this year’s Annual Canterlot Socialite Nincompoop of the Year. Well, it seems that our contestants have finally been guided to the starting line. I do like to say, however, that not all of them were, by definition, nincompoops before. As a matter of fact, we had a low outcome of potential contestants, so we have to accept some and make some minor adjustments to them. With that out of the way, let us meet our contestants. And, we like to remind our audience that only unicorns can participate in this event. Many of you are claiming that to be racism, but this is Canterlot that we are talking about, so what do you expect? From left to right, we have Jambrain Spunkslinger, who worked in his father’s jewelry store as a trash compactor, and he listed his hobbies as jogging, swimming, and banging his head with two bricks. Next, we have Chjortnik Semenspit, a student in Cantorlot’s University School of Magic with a Major in Stupid and he is happily engaged to his…um…Next, there is Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer, a very recognizable nincompoop who is one of the very few to have actually participate in previous Nincompoop of the Year Competition. He came in last last year. He is a world renowned figure in the historical study of teeth and he has three sons, all of them potential nincompoops themselves. Then, we have Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom. He is the owner of a very prestige restaurant, The 120 Days of Sodium, but he has stated that his real passion is to jump off the side of the Canterlot Mountain. Let’s hope that he may get that chance one day. Next up is Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child. Now, he is the current favorite to win this year’s Nincompoop Award, and his resume certainly supports this. By day, he owns and works in a Burlesque theater, and by night he goes out and beats up innocent, little foals with a baseball bat. Then, we have Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker. His name pretty much says it all. And, finally, but not least, a surprise entry of the year, Prince Blueblood has entered the competition, and is, believe it or not, our sponsor’s favorite at this year’s nincompoop competition. Well, now our starter is getting them ready, making sure that they are facing the right direction. We certainly have a large crowd today, cheering out for their favorite nincompoop. And, it looks like our seven contestants are ready. Our starter has his starting pistol ready…and… (bang!) … They are not off. Not a shock at all. In fact, I completely expected this. On very rare occasions, our contestants would actually start on the first shot. The last time that happened was about 230 years ago. Goes to show how stupid our society is getting. Well, our starter is explaining to the contestants on what they should do. Not really sure if they understand. Maybe. Possibly. It looks like Rider of a Female Camel Humugousbottom is getting it, and so is Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker. Chjortnik Semanspit, maybe not. His fiancé is kissing him for good luck, though. A very lucky fellow. And, it looks like the contestants have understood what they need to do as they nodded to the starter. He raises his pistol…and… (bang!) THEY’RE OFF! They have started running straight for the first obsticle, but it looks like Prince Blueblood have went to the left, seemingly confused as to where he should go. Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer is ahead, followed by Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child in second, and Chjortnik Semenspit is coming up from behind. They have reached the first obstacle; they have to walk straight across the white line. The contestant seems to be having a bit of a trouble getting themselves situated to accomplished this first, hard task. It requires balance, speed, and the ability to keep their hooves on the white line, or, at least, on the ground. We can see that Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child has jump on the white line and is following it down, but he is going at a rather slow pace, so he is not gaining enough ground. Chjortnik Semanspit and Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker are getting started as well, but not having much luck themselves. Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom, Jambrain Spunkslinger, and Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer are coming up, and Prince Blueblood seems to still having trouble in figuring out in where he should go. Wow, I never would have thought that Prince Blueblood would be that big of a nincompoop. I could see why our sponsor was enthusiastic about the prince winning this year. The others up front are still trying to figure how to walk across. Jambrain Spunkslinger has fallen over several times, as well as Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child. Oh, but wait, Father of Forty Dogs is running down the white line. He is doing extraordenarly well…and he just fell off before he could even reach the end. Now, that’s a nincompoop if I ever seen one. But, I could also see that Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbuttom is making a across as well, followed by Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer, and Chjortnik Semanspit is right on their tails. And, it looks like Prince Blueblood has finally found his way to the start of the obsticle and he is trying to step on the white line aaaaaaaand…he has fallen down and is having trouble getting up. Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child is running down beautifully and he is the first to finish the first obstacle. Next, Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom finishes second and is closing behind Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child. Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer is third, forth is Chjortnik Semenspit, fifth place is Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker, sixth is Jambrain Spunkslinger, and Prince Blueblood is still trying to get up from the ground at the beginning of the white line event. I know it is too early to make a bold of a claim as this, but I do believe that this could end up as one the greatest Nincompoop of the Year competition in history! I can tell by this lot, this is going to be an incredible event! On to the second event, in which that they have to jump over an apple pie. This is significally high compare to our past compititions, but we have faith that these nincompoops can clear the pie. Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child is running up to it and he jumps and clears over the apple pie! Behind him, Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom is walking up to it, but he seems very hesitant in making that leap of fate. Next, Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer and Chjortnik Semenspit comes up, and MY GOODNESS, Chjortnik Semenspit has clear the apple pie with one bound! He has went from forth place to second place, with Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child ahead of him at first place! It look likes that Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom is going to give it a try as he readies himself…and…OH, HE COMPLETELY MISSIES THE APPLE PIE AND HE HAS FALLEN BACKWARDS! And, Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer give it a shot and…has done the same thing! Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker and Jambrain Spunkslinger are also trying to do it as well, and…Jambrain Spunkslinger has hit the side of the apple pie and he tumbled over it on to the other side! It looks like a nasty fall, but, at least, he clear the jump, thereby putting him in third place! And, he has gotten up immediately and starts running to the next event! Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom, Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker, and Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer are still trying to make it across the apple pie with some results, and it looks like Prince Blueblood has finally made it past the white line event as he runs up to the apple pie! And…runs into Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker, thereby inadvertinly helping him in crossing the apple pie. Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker seems rather confused by it and he actually tries to go back to try it again, but he cannot get back over the apple pie! The referee nearby walks up to him and it looks like he has given the clearance and that he can proceed on to the next event! The other three are still trying to jump over the apple pie, and it looks like it could be a while until that happens! On to the next event! We see Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child is in first place, Chjortnik Semenspit in second place, third place Jambrain Spunkslinger, and just far behind them in forth place Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker! They are making their way to the third event, which is one of the new events to be introduced this year. It is the Push Your Date Off the Pillow event. This event is very simple. All they have to do is to push their date off the pillow and sit on it for a few seconds. That is all they have to do. They can do in any means nessaccary to complete their objective. The four competators are choosing their pillows. They are jumping around them like little monkeys, thinking that will scare them off. It seems that we forgot to mention to our contestants, again, that these are manikins, not actual ponies. But, it does not really matter to them, anyways. Well, in any case, they seem to have realized that it is not working and seem confused as to why. Meanwhile, back at the apple pie jumping, it looks like that Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom as finally cleared over and is on his way to the third event. Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer and Prince Blueblood seems to be having a tough time, however. Back to the Pillow event, some of the nincompoops are trying various things to get their date off the pillow. Jambrain Spunkslinger uses his horn to poke in the manakin’s naughty bits. That could probably work in real life, but, once again, these are manakins. The others seem quite dumbfounded…oh, wait, it looks like Chjortnik Semenspit seem to have an idea…OH, MY!! HE HAS BUCKED HIS DATE OFF THE PILLOW! INCREDIBLE!! And, I have just received word that that is exactly how he had met his fiancé! That’s the way in using your past experiences! And, he took a sit on the pillow, a couple of seconds later, and he is off! Chjortnik Semenspit has done an incredible feat by starting at forth place and jumping all the way to first place! Speaking of which, it looks like Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child is not doing so hot as he still continues dancing around like a baboon, thinking it will scare her. And, he continues to fall down the line as Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker takes second place after he simply pushes his date off the pillow, sat down, and takes off! Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom has just come up and he starts dancing around like a nincompoop that he is! Oh, what a glorious race this is turning out to be! And, I have just receive word that Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer has finally jumped over the apple pie, and that Prince Blueblood has his horn stuck in the ground after he landed on his head! Never in a million years would I ever think that Prince Blueblood is a born nincompoop! It seems our sponsor has a good eye for these things! Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer is on his way to the Pillow event, and Jambrain Spunkslinger is now in third after he decapitated his date by raming his horn into her head, and Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child finally stops his dancing and uses his magic to move his date off the pillow, sits down, and gently puts it back on the pillow! Sure, it may not be as exciting, but the fact that it took him this long for him to just use his magic really shows what a big nincompoop he is! Coming in at fifth and sixth respectively, Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom and Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer are still dancing around, and Prince Blueblood has finally freed himself from the ground and… HE HAS MADE IT-oh, no, he just fell backwards again. Well, let’s leave him be and go to the head of the pack as they head to the fourth event. Here, the contestants take a bite out of some commoner food and then spits it out at the commoner who is selling them to them. We have a whole smorgasbord of commoner food. We have commoner apples, commoner carrots, commoner pears, and even commoner cherries. These are the type that no Canterlot Socialite Nincompoop would ever abuse their taste buds to. And, it looks like they are terrified of its commonness. Many of our commentators believed that this could potentially be one of the, if not the hardest, events in history, and I have no doubt about that. They seem to be very hesitant in grabbing one, much less trying to eat one of those disgusting things. I would not blame them if they wish to skip this part, but they need to complete all events in order to be recognize as this year’s top nincompoop. It looks like Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom is deciding to take the first bat as he chooses a commoner apple, which looks disgustingly red. I swear, who would grow such terrible looking apples? He brings his teeth to the skin…and…HE PULLS AWAY FROM IT!! OH MY GOODNESS, HE LOOKS LIKE HE WANTS TO CRY!!! THIS IS JUST A TERRIBLE SIGHT!! I EVEN FEEL BAD JUST LOOKING AT THIS TORTORE!!! EVEN THE CROWD IS DEMANDING AMNASTY FOR THE CONTESTANTS!!! It looks like that the contestants are refusing to even make a move to the commoner food, even though they have to spit the terrible food right back at the commoner’s face that is selling those most evil food! The judges group together, seeing as the race is stalled. They must figure out what they must do about this unfortunate delay in this already exciting race! While we wait for the results, let’s head back to Prince Blueblood! It looks like he is still trying to jump over the apple pie! The delay up at event four could be his only chance to catch up to the rest of the pack! He steadies himself…and…HE’S DONE IT!!! HE’S OVER THE PIE!!! HE SEEMS REALLY HAPPY ABOUT IT AS HE RUNS TO THE THIRD EVENT, WHERE HE MUST PUSH HIS DATE OFF THE PILLOW AND…OH WOW!!! DID YOU SEE THAT!?! DID YOU JUST SEE THAT!?! IF YOU WERE UNFORTUNATE ENOUGH TO TURN YOUR HEAD OR BLINK YOUR EYES, I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU!!! PRINCE BLUEBLOOD HAD JUST PUSH HIS DATE OFF THE PILLOW, SAT DOWN, AND HE IS ON HIS WAY TO THE FORTH EVENT!!! JUST LIKE THAT!!! THIS IS AMAZING!!! HE COULD JUST BE ABLE TO SPRING HIS WAY UP TO FIRST PLACE!!! And, the judges seemed to have reached a conclusion about the forth event! It seems that the forth event is proven to be too difficult for our contestants to complete, so they shut it down and tells the six contestants that they can proceed to the fifth event! They seemed very relieved by it as they trot away from those evil foods! And, then, Prince Blueblood moves up to the forth event, and the judges there lets him know that he does not have to complete it. But, he seems pretty willing to give it a taste, but they shoo him away, telling him that he does not have to do. It looks like Prince Blueblood got the message and proceeds to the next event, which is the Stab the Gala Guest event. Here, the contestants must use their horns to stab right through these cardboard cutouts of Gala Guest. Jambrain Spunkslinger, Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child, and Chjortnik Semenspit ready themselves and they charged right straight at them, and they all missed. Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker gives it his all and he misses as well. Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom runs down and he finds his mark! He has stab though Fancy Pants, that no-good, nasty, pretentious little bastard with no ambitions of becoming a nincompoop. And, the crowd seems to enjoy that, but they probably preferred the real one! I cannot blame for thinking that! Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom proceeds to the next event in first place, and Prince Blueblood has joined up with the group. However, Chjortnik Semenspit has found his mark and he proceeds in second place. Meanwhile, it looks like Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker and Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer are facing the opposite direction, trying to stab at invisible Gala Guest. And, they seem stupefied as to why they cannot hit anything. The judges walk up to them to tell them that they have to turn around. And, Jambrain Spunkslinger finds his target and takes his place in third. And, with an unbelievable change of roles, Prince Blueblood seems to be getting closer to his target, while Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child continues to miss his target and he is not getting any closer. And, coming in at forth is Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker, and PRINCE BLUEBLOOD HAS LAND A HIT AND IS ON FIFTH!!! HE TROTS IN VICTORY AS THE CROWD CHEERED AT HIS NINCOMPOOPNESS!!! AND, HE STILL HAS TIME TO CATCH UP!!! Coming at sixth is Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer, trotting behind Prince Blueblood and… OH MY CELESTIA!!! BUMFLUFFMONKEYWHORE ODIOUS AND UNPLEASANT CHILD HAS JUST STABBED HIMSELF IN THE NECK WITH HIS OWN HORN!!! AND THE CROWD GOES EVEN WILDER!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!! BUMFLUFFMONKEYWHORE ODIOUS AND UNPLEASANT CHILD, YOU ARE TRULY A MAGNIFICENT NINCOMPOOP!!! I SALUTE YOU!!! OH, WHAT A HISTORIC RACE THIS IS TURNING OUT TO BE!!! AND, I HAVE A FEELING THAT MORE SURPRISES ARE IN STORE AS WE CONTINUE FORWARD TO THE CLIMATIC END!!! In the sixth event, the contestants must insult Princess Luna in order to move on in the race! Princess Luna seem very confused about the contestants, and that is because we did not tell her about all of this! It just makes it funnier that way! Especially when Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom starts insulting her. Unfortunately, in order to keep the current rating where it is now, we cannot listen in to what Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom is saying to the princess. But, we can tell that it is having some sort of effect on her as her face turns from confusion to rage. But, it looks like that Chjortnik Semenspit is having a more tough time, especially when he seems to be distracted by his fiancé. Speaking of which, although our rule clearly specify that no others but the contestants may participate in the race, with him we had to make the exception, as long as his fiancé does not participate. Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer, our veteran nincompoop has come up and he is starting to insult her, very grievously, I might add. It seems very persuasive and the judges have concluded that it was enough for Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer to take first place! Wow, that is just incrediable! From sixth to first! Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer sure knows how to lay it on thick! The others seemed to be having a tough time trying to get her angry, but she looks more annoyed than angry! And, it looks like Chjortnik Semenspit seems to have remembered that he is in the contest and starts insulting the princess along with the others. And, it looks like Prince Blueblood is walking around the princess and…HE SLAPPED HER FLANK!!! USUALLY, THAT CAN BE SEEN AS A COMPLAMENT, BUT WE CAN SEE CLEARLY THAT PRINCESS LUNA DOES NOT LIKE IT, AT ALL!!! I guess that’s what happens when you are left on the moon for a thousands years! And, Prince Blueblood has taken second place! What a turn of events! The others are trying to insult Princess Luna, but she has taken flight and is leaving the park! They all seem very confused by it, but the judges quickly walk up to them and tell them that they can continue on. And, as for Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child, it looks like he is really dead, but that does not disqualifies him from the race! Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer is still in first place as he moves on to the seventh event, where he must walk underneath the wooden beam. This is a very difficult event, takes a lot of coordination and a lot of brain power to figure this puzzle out. Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer walks up to it and he bangs his head! Next, Prince Blueblood comes up to it and, he too, hits his head and he falls down to the ground. Chjortnik Semenspit comes up from behind and he…TRIPS OVER PRINCE BLUEBLOOD AND HE, SOMEHOW, MADE IT UNDERNEATH THE WOODEN BEAM!! He is back in first place and heads to the eight event. Meanwhile, Jambrain Spunkslinger, Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker, and Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom are trying to make it across, but they keep hitting their heads against the beam! Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker falls down to the ground and he is not getting up! It seems that he has knocked himself silly! Prince Blueblood continues to try to get underneath the beam and he has succeeded, retaining his place in second as he moves on to catch up with Chjortnik Semenspit! And, it looks like Jambrain Spunkslinger as also made it under, placing in third, and the rest are still trying to figure how to get underneath it! At the eighth event, we get to a really special one. Here, they must block themselves from cake while using their dates as their shield. Chjortnik Semenspit is in first, Prince Blueblood is in second, and Jambrain Spunkslinger is in third, and I have received word that Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom has made it under the beam, placing him at forth. Each of the contestants grabs their date and the cakes are now flying at them. The first one hits Jambrain Spunkslinger, but his back was to it, so he got covered in cake, but not his date. The cake has been flinged and it landed on Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom, who just stood right in front of it without using a date to block it. He has been told that is does not count. And, I have been told that Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker has made it under the beam, with Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer following from behind in sixth place, with Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child is still dead last. Another cake has been flung, and it hits Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer in the face, knocking him into the ground. Still no good. Another one and it went a little far, completely missing them. Another cake is flying though the air and it has hit- UNBELIEVABLE!!! PRINCE BLUEBLOOD HAS TOSS HIS DATE INTO THE AIR, THEREBY HIS DATE GOT HIT BY THE CAKE!!! AND, THE JUDGES GAVE HIM THE GREEN LIGHT TO MOVE ON, PUTTING HIM IN FIRST PLACE!!! CAN THIS RACE GET ANYMORE EXCITING!?! HE PERFORMED THAT FEAT AS IF HE HAS DONE IT BEFORE!!! HE TROTS ON OVER TO THE FINAL EVENT, WHICH WILL DECIDE, ONCE AND FOR ALL, WHO WILL BE NINCOMPOOP OF THE YEAR!!! And, another cake flies and it hits the date of Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer, putting him at second place and he makes his way after Prince Blueblood! Next, is Jambrain Spunkslinger at third, than Chjortnik Semenspit in forth, with Father of Forty Dogs Donkeysucker and Rider of a Female Camel Humungousbottom taking fifth and sixth respectably, and Bumfluffmonkeywhore Odious and Unpleasant Child is still lying dead at event five! AND, HERE WE ARE, MARES AND GENTLECOLTS!!! THE NINTH AND FINAL EVENT!!! THIS IS VERY SIMPLE!!! ALL THEY HAVE TO IS TO BEG PRINCESS CELESTIA TO SEND THEM TO THE SUN!!! PRINCE BLUEBLOOD IS ON HIS KNEES, BEGGING HIS AUNT TO SEND HIM THERE!!! FART IN A JAMJAR SHOESNIFFER IS NEXT TO HIM, ALSO ON HIS KNEES BEGGING!!! JAMBRAIN SPUNKSLINGER FOLLOWS BEHIND, WITH CHJORTNIK SEMENSPIT, FATHER OF FORTY DOGS DONKEYSUCKER AND RIDER OF A FEMALE CAMEL HUMUNGOUSBOTTOM RUNNING UP TO THE FINAL EVENT!!! PRINCESS CELESTIA SEEMS TO BE TAKING HER TIME, PICKING WHICH ONE REALLY WISHES TO TAKE THE ONEWAY TRIP TO THE SUN!!! WILL SHE SENDS HER ONLY NEPHEW, OR FART IN A JAMJAR SHOESNIFFER!?! WHAT ABOUT CHJORTNIK SEMEMSPIT OR JAMBRAIN SPUNKSLINGER!?! WHICH ONE WILL SHE CHOOSE… IT LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A WINNER!!! THIS IS JUST INCREDABLE!!! PRINCE BLUEBLOOD IS OUR 667TH CANTERLOT SOCIALITE NINCOMPOOP!!! HE WILL BE GOING TO THE SUN WHERE HE WILL BE BURNED TO A CRISP!!! COMING IN SECOND IS CHJORTNIK SEMENSPIT, WHICH LOOKS LIKE HE IS AND HIS FIANCE ARE GOING ON A BELATED HONEYMOON, AND HE SEEMS VERY EXCITED TO GO!!! AND, IN THIRD IS THE VETERAN FROM LAST YEAR, FART IN A JAMJAR SHOESNIFFER, AND HE LOOKS VERY HAPPY TO MAKE IT MUCH FARTHER THAN HE DID BEFORE!!! AND, FOR CONSTINLATION PRIZES, JAMBRAIN SPUNKSLINGER, FATHER OF FORTY DOGS DONKEYSUCKER, AND RIDER OF FEMALE CAMEL HUMUNGOUSBOTTOM ARE TURNED INTO STONE STATUES!!! AND, BUMFLUFFMONKEYWHORE ODIOUS AND UNPLEASENT CHILD IS STILL DEAD LAST!!! Well, there you have it, folks! To recap, first place, Prince Blueblood! In second place, Chjortnik Semenspit! And in third place, Fart in a Jamjar Shoesniffer! This has been the most exciting Canterlot Socialite Nincompoop of the Year Competition in forever! And, I’m sure our sponsor is very excited to see her dark horse won! Along with all that money! We thank you for joining us in this year’s Canterlot Socialite Nincompoop Competition! We hope to see you again next year!