Bright was the light that shone through the window; the warm heat of the sun that surrounds the room fills me with determination. Yet another day of randomness, I presume, though I can't help but remember what happened yesterday. Mistress Applejack, who at this point was considered my "number 1 visitor", came by once again to tell me that I get to live with her. Astounded and shocked by the decision, I asked why. Apparently, the "foal services" deemed it necessary for me to find a new home. I obliged with that decision, after all, I've been stuck here for quite a while now. But to think that I get to live with her, fate must have been watching me struggle.
I asked what the "foal services" were, to which Nurse Redheart answered. Apparently, they are an organization that takes care of young fillies and colts. I was... astounded. Were they the ones to take care of the orphans? I asked why I was included, to which she giggled. Nurse Redheart, for what it's worth, told me that I am a young colt, at the verge of adolescence. Since I never gave them my age, they assumed it to be 14, given by my stature. I always wondered why they were taller, it never occurred to me that I was younger. It's one of the reasons I never gave them my age. Hearing this, I simply nodded, though she was still smiling at me. Arching an eyebrow, I asked what was wrong, only for her to hug me and say that I can finally leave.
I was... confused. Why was she happy that I was leaving? Shouldn't it be a sad farewell? I frowned a bit. I know well enough that I have overstayed my welcome, but I didn't expect them to be so happy for me to leave. I gently pushed her away from me, confusing her in the process. "Sweetie, what's wrong?"
I slowly looked at her with disdain. "If I had been a thorn to your side, then why not allow me to leave before?" I said as I tilted my head. She looked at me with surprise as she began to stutter, her thoughts within a constant tangle due to my words. "N-No! Sweetie, that's not why I'm smiling!" She placed a gentle hoof upon my withers as she looked at me with care, a look only a mother can understand. "I'm smiling because you are well! I've seen how you look outside, and now, you can walk outside and do whatever you want. Sweetie, never call yourself a thorn. You aren't, okay?"
I felt bad for assuming the worst. But alas, she was right. I was longing for air, for an adventure, for a chance to finally walk outside and see this dream world to its fullest. And that day was today. Despite some protests, I took my uchigatana, stating that it was an heirloom from my kin. I didn't want to leave without it, who knows what would happen. And now, I'm free...
But now what? Now that I can go outside, escorted by Mistress Applejack of all ponies, what can I do? When Mistress Applejack explained that they weren't at war, or rather, there were no wars, not since a thousand years ago, so it seemed, I lost a part of the things I planned. I couldn't lead their armies (there was no army to lead), I couldn't train their armies to fight, I couldn't do anything. With a third of my plans gone in an instant, perhaps finding jobs that I had experience on can benefit them all.
She did say that I shouldn't work as much due to my injuries, but I know that I am fine. Perhaps being a farmer would benefit them, but I have no experience in the ways of growing crops. I don't even know what type of crops they tend to. All I ever learned was that they were the lead in producing Apples, so perhaps I could be an apple farmer. I have a decent skill in painting, but would they appreciate that kind of art? They, for the most part, were a lot more colorful than the paintings I've seen, so full of color and life in comparison to the dulled colors of a still scene of ink. I have mentioned about hunting, to which she simply glared at me. I forgot, they were ponies. The last time I checked, they don't eat meat, aside from fish, that is. This world truly is a confusing one.
I asked about the mysterious Everfree forest, of which she disciplined Young Mistress Apple Bloom when they visited. A forest filled with monsters, ones made of wood and stone, of bears as big as a mountain... I would, at least, try and be their guardian, but in the end that plan, too, was destroyed. There really wasn't anything for me to do. Forging, maybe, but it takes way too long to make one blade.
"Are ya alright?" Mistress Applejack asked me. I was simply following her, crestfallen at my own thoughts. "I... feel like I am much more of a burden..." I admitted.
"Why's that?" she asked as we got outside of the hospital. It really was a beautiful and peaceful sight. "Half of my plans are ruined. None of which can help me pay my debt to you-" I said as I was shushed by her hoof gently placed upon my muzzle. "What'd Ah say? None of that whole 'in your debt' thing," she sighed as she sat in front of me. "Ya ain't got nothin' to prove to me, ya hear? All ya need to do is live yer life to the fullest."
Live my life? I had died and now I am in this dream, possibly for eternity, possibly after my trials. How can I possible explain it to them that I had died. If this truly is a dream world, why does my heart feel heavy? No, what if this was reality? I have been here for a few days now. I have talked to the ponies living here, from the sweet nurses who took care of me, the strict doctors who reprimand me, to Mistress Applejack and her friends, even some of the patients... None of those feel like a dream. They were all too real. They had their own troubles, their own woes, their own stories, none of which I could come up with alone... What if this truly was a second chance in living? If it was, then where is Akane? My family? My old friends? Where were they? If this was truly a village, then news of a colt being injured would have spread amongst its villagers. So why weren't they here? Why didn't they visit me? They died before me, so why weren't they here? Akane, especially, as she died moments before I did. Why weren't they here?
The chain of thoughts stopped as I felt her shake me gently. I must have worried Mistress Applejack as she suddenly hugged me. Why? "There there, sugarcube, ya've endured enough. There ain't no shame in cryin', so don't hold back none of it." I was... crying? I didn't even realize as I placed my hoof upon my cheeks. I was crying. For the first time in how long, I was truly crying. Not of pain, not of my misfortune, but of my sorrow.
We sat there for quite some time until I finally had my bearings. Mistress Applejack paid close attention to me as I looked around like a curious kid, or rather, I was a kid in their eyes. An adolescent, a "teenager", but nevertheless, a child in their eyes. We walked and walked, and surprisingly, my head was clear and my heart was calm. This truly is a village worth fighting for. Peaceful in nature, ponies around me waving and smiling, talking about things like trading and what they ate last night. Such peace I wish I had. However, that peace soon turned into dread when there were no... ponies... in sight within the village. It was as if it had been raided.
We walked and walked, seeing new things such as a tree in the middle of the village, a luxurious tower filled with mannequins, and a strange structure made of the same bread that Miss Pinkie gave me. We continued on our trek until eventually we stopped at a white gate. A brown sign hangs upon the gate, surrounded by such lush green leaves. Just within the view lies a massive house painted red. Clearly, the daimyō's house. If this was the farmland, where were the workers? The farmers? Something wasn't right. As such, as if by instinct, I stood with my hind legs and clutched upon my uchigatana. Applejack noticed this and asked what was wrong, though I did not answer. I felt... I felt like being watched.
Threatened... Afraid... A sense of dread I haven't sensed in a long while. Left to right, right to left, I gazed upon my surroundings, looking for any movement. Once more by instinct, I placed myself in front of Mistress Applejack. No longer did I pay attention to what she was saying as I tried to tune out any noise made. "What in tarnation?! Rioto! Stop!"
I looked behind her to see if she was being attacked. She wasn't. And then there was silence. And with that silence, and with my new keen sense of hearing, I heard movement coming from the large house. "No," I muttered to myself. They were inside, and this was her house; a trap not yet sprung. The last time this happened, I almost died in the hands of bandits. Never again.
I slowly placed my hoof upon the kashira of my uchigatana, readying myself incase someone dashes upon my right. Mistress Applejack was worried, for obvious reasons, yet I feel like she is much more worried about something else as I noticed her eyes glancing back and forth upon me and the house. Perhaps she is worried about her family. Taking this as a hint, I steadily drew closer upon the house. Right hind hoof forward, left hind hoof backward, quickly, as fast as an arrow, I drew my blade and held it in front of me; the shining metal ever gleaming in the sunlight as I stepped towards the doors. Mistress Applejack was panicking. I've heard that none of her friends were able to draw my blade from my saya, not even her, so she must be surprised that I drew it so easily.
"R-Rioto... W-w-wait!" Yet I did not pay attention. Never again. I've already suffered enough, I would not lose another. With the limited time I've spent with Young Mistress Apple Bloom, I learned that she was merely trying to find out who she was, and I promised myself that I would not allow anything to bring harm upon her and her family. That purity, their smiles, I won't allow anything to tarnish it. But now that I find myself in the heat of battle once more, I find that my heart was beating faster and faster. Would I die here?
I steeled my nerves and remembered my clan's bushidō, "In the light of fear, one must remember what they fight for." With a long inhale and quick exhale, I grasp open the door and dashed forward. It was dark, yet I noticed a canon pointing towards me only after a sudden pink blob leapt forward. Thinking this was indeed an attack, I brought forward my blade to guard, but immediately slashed in an upward movement, a feint to try and lower their guard. I hit the pink blob, though not as much. I grazed it.
And then there was light and a collective gasp. Bright and blinding was the light that suddenly appeared, and haunting were the faces of the crowds in front of me. They weren't enemies. They were... And in front of me was...
I shook, my hooves wavering at the sight in front of me. I had slashed Miss Pinkie, though the slash wasn't deep. She looked at me, the same fear I see from everyone else. The silence I once loved was damning. Some had their hooves upon their muzzles, some had their mouths open. I looked back at Miss Pinkie, her slash was upon her face. It wasn't deep, nor was it a long slash. It was merely a graze, but the blood was still pouring. And she was fearful. She had her hoof placed upon the wound, her breathing heavy and her mane falling flat. Before I could speak, however, the others ran away, screaming. Terror filled the house as some tried to go through the windows. The only ones that stayed were the Cutie Mark Crusaders, the friends of Mistress Applejack, and who I assume to be her family...
The damning silence was back, replaced only by hooves as Miss Twilight stepped forward. She had a scowl, no... a glare... no, everyone had it as they glared at me. Even the once timid Miss Fluttershy had it. And the pony in front of me had the face of one who lost their light. I felt ill. "W-what have I done?" I said as I dropped to my knees, and in the process, dropping my sword.
"What have you done?! Is that all that you're going to say?!" Miss Rainbow stepped forward, her hate filled expression brought upon dread in my heart. "I-I... I thought-"
"YOU THOUGHT WHAT EXACTLY?!" bellowed the cyan pegasus. "How could you?!" Lady Rarity spoke, venom upon her voice. Everyone glared, disdain upon their eyes as one of them helped the pink mare up. "I..." And yet I couldn't speak. They've shown me kindness, and yet I repay them with violence. Miss Twilight simply walked towards me as the others tended to their injured friend. Her horn was glowing, perhaps to attack me. Instead, it encased me in a bubble, a bubble that I cannot break with my hooves. "You WILL stay there. Any attempts to escape would only bring you more problems. Are we clear?" Miss Twilight said with a harsh tone.
"I'm... I'm sorry..."
They talked for a bit, their voices muffled as this bubble surrounded me. It was then that Miss Twilight took my uchigatana away, placing it back upon my saya, only to find that, again, she could not remove it. With all of this happening, I thought back through my past. Was this what they felt when they were waiting upon their deaths? Finally, as if to stop me from thinking, Miss Fluttershy came close to the bubble, despite the protests of Miss Rainbow.
"Why did you do it?" She asked, though for some reason, it was in a stern yet motherly tone. I found comfort upon her eyes as I began to talk. "I... I thought it was... an ambush..."
She gasped, no, they all gasped. As if telling me to continue, she nodded her head once and everyone went silent. "The last time... something like this happened... I lost three of my comrades in battle. They were not of my clan, yet I consider them my comrades... They..." I paused as I gasped, desperate for air. Miss Twilight lowered her bubble, but the need for air was still present. "They... they died in my arms. MY foolishness almost costed me my life... They died, they died. We didn't even protect them. I had been injured, yet I lived... but they all died. It was my fault. I promised to never repeat that same mistake... I tried, I really did. When that dread came back, when... when I saw that Mistress Applejack was frightened about something, I... I assumed..."
Finally, I stopped. I could feel the tears in my eyes. Was it because I was young again? Or was it because of that dreadful memory? "I assumed the worst and drew my blade... What have I done?" I looked back upon them. Yes, they were still mad, but their eyes speak of sorrow too. "I had survived for so long, knowing the art of war. Long have I survived with a blade upon my side, but never did I even succeed in protecting those I cared about! If I had, she wouldn't... she wouldn't be..." And that's where I broke down.
"WHAT HAVE I DONE?! I HAVE DONE NOTHING! NOT A DAMN THING! AND THAT'S WHY THEY'RE GONE!" It wasn't even connected to her question, her simple question, and yet, why does it feel so natural to tell them? "My whole family is gone. My siblings, my mother, my father... My dearly beloved... They are all gone! All I wanted was to protect them... and now I failed here as well..." I began to chuckle, for I lost it all. "I really am a failure, huh?" I said as I glanced at them. They're looks of hatred was no longer present. I was shocked to see it, those same merciful eyes...
"Maybe I should've died that day... perhaps I could've been with them... I wasn't meant to survive." I said as I lowered my head. As I did so, however, a smack to the face greeted me. It was Miss Rarity, her snow white hoof hitting the side of my muzzle, an equivalent to a slap I suppose.
"How dare you," she muttered. "How dare you say that you should've died that day!" With a glare once more, she pulled me closer with her magic as she yelled to reprimand me. "You were meant to survive, you're here aren't you? And how dare you waste that good fortune by thinking of such things! For shame! Shame on you!" She gently lowered me back but she continued to speak. "How dare you waste your second chance in life by simply giving up! What would your family think? What would your beloved think? What would those you did protect think?!"
"You said that you were a warrior once when we visited again, and I believed it. And if you truly are a warrior as you claim to be, then you should value the life that you were given along with the pride your family once had!" She sighed as she got closer to me. "You've hurt Pinkie, and yes we are mad about it, but you did it out of a habit and duty, did you not?" Miss Rarity asked as she sat down in front of me. I nodded. "I- I thought it was-" I tried to speak, only for her to cut me off with a hush and a hoof on my muzzle. "Then you've done it not out of malice. Yes, you've hurt her, but you didn't intent to do so. Had you known that it was a party meant for you, then you wouldn't have done it. And for that, we too, apologize." Miss Rarity said, to which a confused cyan pegasus simply looked at us in shock. "Are... What?! Are we seriously just forgiving him like that?"
"Yes, we are," Miss Rarity said.
"But he hurt Pinkie! Nopony gets away with that!" Miss Rainbow said as she glared back at me. Not once was I threatened by a pony before, yet here I am.
"And you've heard him, he didn't mean to!" Miss Fluttershy said as she gently flapped towards her fuming friend.
"And you girls believe him?! What if he was lying-" she said before she was cut off by Mistress Applejack. "There was no lie in his voice, RD! And if there was no lie, then... then..."
"Then what he said about his family and friends being gone was true..." Miss Twilight spoke. All of them glanced at me, but I was far too weak to even stand. "Oh dear..." Miss Rarity muttered. "Was this the reason why you never told any of the foal services what happened to you?" I nodded once.
Then, out of nowhere, Miss Pinkie sat in front of me. What shocked me the most was her smile. She was smiling, not a forced one but genuine one. A smile that came from the end of my blade. Her mane was back to its poofy state. "If you didn't mean it, then you aren't a meanie for hitting me," she said as she placed a slice of triangular bread in front of me. "I don't... I don't understand. I've hurt you, I- I almost killed you! How could you still smile?!"
And then she hugged me. "You've gone through so much, haven't you?" Miss Pinkie said as she gently stroked my back. I cried. I cried for my family, for my friends, for her... I buried my face upon her chest as I cried. I screamed and shouted and cried. I cried even more when I felt the others hug me back.
Gone was the light of the sun, now replaced by the evening glow of the moon. I really am alive. This wasn't a dream world, nor was it a trial. This is real. I must've passed out after crying too much as I awoke in a comfortable bed. I stared at the ceiling, thinking back to what I've done. I hope Miss Pinkie is alright.
How could they accept me? A murderer, a monster, a feral beast with a blade? I've hurt their friend, and yet... and yet they chose to forgive me. Had this been my home world, I would've been executed for harming my host. I had to thank the gods for that. I have to work hard if I want to repay that kindness. That kindness, I will never forget it.
That kindness... I wonder if that kindness exist in my world? And if so, would I have died on that faithful day? Would I have lived long enough to see my son grow into a man? Would my daughter grow into a majestic flower? Would I have met Akane if my clan never fell? For now, I have to think of ways to repay them. I've mourned the past, now it is time for me to focus on my future... Yet why does it hurt like so?