“I never wanted this, you know.
“Sounds crazy, right? It’s every little filly’s dream, to sit on the golden throne and call the shots. How many foals have watched Celestia during the Summer Sun Celebration, or seen newsreels or photos or paintings, and thought to themselves ‘I want be just like her when I grow up’? I was one of them, after all.
“And it’s not like I’m just like her now, no matter how ponies may see me as such. Even her. Celestia practically threw the crown at my hooves and tried to gallop for the coast. If it weren’t for Sombra, she’d have probably gotten away with it too. And I was still on the verge of a nervous breakdown for moons afterwards. Tried everything I could to not think about how I had to try to take the place of the mare who had led the country for more than a millennium, and I usually failed.
“A thousand years. A thousand years. It’s not just historical shorthoof for ‘an indeterminate but long time ago.’ It means something. Until this year, the only creatures who had ever known an Equestria without Celestia in the harness were immortals. And I have to live up to that.
“That’s probably why I didn’t say anything back when they petrified those three.
“I still have nightmares about that, you know? We’ve never found Cozy Glow’s parents, or Scorpan, or the changeling infiltrators who went under deep cover after Thorax metamorphosed. Those three had loved ones, creatures who cared about them. They even had a twisted sort of friendship with each other. There was a spark of good, even in them…
“But look at what they did. Nearly destroyed Equestria. Not just disrupting the harmony of ponies—and the fact that a few crop failures and whispered words was all that took helps keep me up at night—but almost causing another Fimbulwinter. The windigoes might have spread across the entire world.
“It’s not the first time I’ve dealt with that level of catastrophe, but at least other creatures felt remorse for their actions. I know Cozy Glow; she was just sorry she’d lost. Tirek… maybe he actually regretted it. But Chrysalis was still ready to tear our throats out. And I know at least two of them would’ve tried it again if given half a chance. I can’t risk the world forcing creatures to reform at hornpoint. That barely worked with Discord, and only because we had a pony who could actually get through to him. I don’t know what it would take for those three. Just one more reason why I’m not ready for this.
“But… that’s not the only reason I stood back and let the princesses and Discord make the decision. That was the last chance I had to do something like that. Ever. I’m on the throne now. I have to be the responsible one. The bit stops here. Back then, it was one last chance to have the luxury of some other creature making the hard decisions, and I’d already had to make far too many hard decisions that day. But I still regret not saying anything.
“Ce— I’m a mess, aren’t I? Can’t even swear by anypony. Or at. At sounds pretty good right now. But I can’t go to her. As much as I’d love to tell her I’m not ready, that she was wrong to trust me as much as she did… I’m not just giving up on myself. I’m giving up on all the creatures who I can help and she’d encase in stone.
“Spike showed me the hard data a bit after I took the throne. I may have big hipposandals to fill, but I can’t deny my track record with major threats compared to Celestia’s. She’s not the one who ushered in a diplomatic renaissance, after all. Some of that can be blamed on sample size—I’m sure I’ll have a lot more mistakes to show in a century—but… I may actually be able to do this. It’s just going to take a while for me to internalize that.
“There will probably always be a part of me that just wants to read books and spend time with my friends. Probably why Celestia retired when she did; couldn’t take it anymore. I can’t blame her, really. Resent her, sure, but not blame her. But I can’t go looking for a successor any time soon. Duty calls, whether I like it or not.”
“Your Highness,” said the adolescent mare on the other side of the cash register, “this is a Hayburger.”
Twilight shrugged her wings. “And the next Friendship Council isn’t until next week. It was this or yell at Celestia in pony, and she’s visiting an old student in another universe at the moment. Now, I’ll have two number nines…”