//------------------------------//
// As Grand and Galloping as it May be 
// Story: Dragon Road Season 1 
// by FoolMeThrice 
//------------------------------//





“I coulda sworn I told you a few times.” As Kai locked the doors to his café, Primrose shook her head in the negative.

“You said we would be closing up shop early today, but I would never have guessed you were attending the Grand Galloping Gala.” Indeed, this was the day that Kai had waited for months, and his friends for their lives. “You must have some good connections to be invited.”

“Something like that. I know Celestia, and I asked for some.” Primrose frowned.

“The princess, huh? Is she still… herself?” Less of a concerned question, more of a dismissive one.

“Boring and serious? Yeah, definitely.” Kai blinked as the two of them started walking in the direction of Primrose's home. “Wait a sec'. That's means you met her before.”

“Yes. I attended the Gala three years in a row. And met the princess each time.”

“What was it like? The Gala, I mean.”

“…I'd best not spoil the surprise.” He didn't quite like the way she smiled after that… “That has me thinking… Why exactly do you want to go to the Gala, anyway?”

“My friends are going. And I'd like to catch up with Luna. We haven't spoken in too long.” Too long being a few weeks, really.

“Princess Luna? Oh, that's right. That whole thing with Nightmare Moon…” Primrose recalled. Even when something big happens, if it's a small town, word spreads slowly. And by that time, it's pretty well unimportant. The only thing that stuck were the new bearers of the Elements of Harmony. “What's Princess Luna like?”

“Well… she's much more direct and fun than Celestia. A lot cuter, too…” Primrose quirked a brow. “Ah, I'll introduce you one day. I don't really like talking about ponies behind their backs.”

“I understand. Have fun, Kai.” So engrosed in this short conversation, Kai was confused why she branched off with what seemed to be goodbye. Until he saw that they were in front of Primrose's house. It fit in with every other generic house, save for the garden outside of the structure.

“Do you wanna come along? I'm sure I can—”

“No! No. Um… ahem… No thanks.” Primrose pretty much panicked, but recomposed herself. “See you tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see ya.” As she went into her home, Kai looked skyward and mumbled. “Still got a lot of time. May as well freshen up as much as possible.”





Chapter 21

As Grand and Galloping as it May Be…





As the sun began to set into evening, a familiar group of eight found themselves getting ready for the time of their lives. Although Rarity had been against the boys being with them while they changed, it was quickly pointed out how they… usually lacked clothes. Now, everyone was preparing. Twilight and Pinkie were getting their manes styled in a few of those nifty salon-grade stations. Rarity was applying all of her usual makeup, plus some more for the occasion. Applejack was spitshining Fluttershy's hoof. Rainbow Dash wasn't doing much besides letting her mane dry. Kai was brushing his somewhat spiky hair smooth. Spike wasn't so much preparing, as he was excitedly musing on what this night entailed.

“I still can't believe we're gonna be at Canterlot tonight. Our hometown, Twilight! And the best part is that we all get to hang out together all night long!” However, Spike's excitement was met by unsure looks from the mares.

“Uh… I don't know, Spike.” For once, Rainbow Dash seemed to want to put it gently.

“We'll just have to see.” Rarity continued.

“We're gonna be a mite busy.” Applejack loosely explained.

“Busy having fun!” Closed Pinkie Pie, sounding far too happy.

Spike frowned and looked down.

“Oh… okay.”

“Hey, c'mon, kid. If nothing else, you and I can hang out!” Kai tried to cheer the dragon up. He held up his bare left arm. “Dragon blood sticks together, y'know?”

Spike looked at him, and the onyx ring around his bicep. While he was curious, the thought of a dragon blood brother was really cool to him, so the baby dragon grinned and held up his own left arm.

“Yeah!”

Seeing that much excitement cheered the mares up, who had started feeling a bit bad about dismissing their young friend for their dreams. Twilight wished to speak to her mentor Celestia, Applejack planned to make a ton of extra bits by selling apple-related treats, Pinkie Pie loved the idea of attending the most prestegious party ever, Rainbow Dash craved her chance to impress the Wonderbolts, Fluttershy wanted to see all of the exotic pets in the castle gardens, and Rarity decided she would find her prince to fall for. Yes, all admirable goals and dreams.

Now, ordinarily, the group would be a bit more rushed right now. They would be, if left to Twilight. Her plans for transportation had been magic, in the way of a magically created carriage, pulled by transformed mice. The mice were scared off by Opal—Rarity's cat—and they were left with nothing. Twilight almost panicked, until Kai very kindly reminded them all.

“Wow, it's like I can't teleport or something. Wouldn't it be helpful if I could do that?”

…Yeah, kindly.

“Hey, sis? Mind helping me out? I got a cowlick that won't stay down.” Rarity nodded with a smile and went to help Kai and his unruly hair.

“Hm… I believe you're quite due for a cut. Shall I?” She asked, taking up scissors in her magical grasp. She was right. Kai's hair was past his shoulders by now, at his upper back.

“Nah… Nah, I'm rockin' this cut, for now. You can cut this, though.” Kai remained still and let her cut the cowlick. She did so, but a slightly miscievous smile fell onto her face.

“A grey hair!”

“What!?”

“Ha, ha.” Rarity gave a calm laugh filled with amusement and moved back to view herself in the mirror. “It also reads ‘gullible’ on the ceiling.” Kai grumbled slightly, looking over his hair for other imperfections, like grey hairs.

“It does!?” Everypony groaned at Pinkie's predictably gullible reply.

After their moment of jest, the group dressed themselves in their formal attire and admired themselves. Yeah. They were stylish.

“Oh, we're definitely turning heads with this.” Rainbow Dash boasted.

“Looks like we're just in time, too!” Spike noted by the now moonlit night replacing the darkening day.

“Beautiful as always.”

“U-us?” Fluttershy asked timidly to Kai's mutter.

“Wha—no! Well, I mean, you girls, too, but—er… I meant the moon.” He hurriedly spoke with a small blush.

“…Ya don't see that everyday.” Applejack chuckled at their flustered friend.

“Oh, laugh it up.” Kai grumbled with faux annoyance. Smiling right after, he held out his hand to the group. “We all ready?” Receiving answers in the affirmative, he knelt slightly so they could all grab hold of him. “Hold on tight. I've never teleported with more than one passenger before.”

With a breath and a moment of stillness, they vanished.





Some ponies arrived by a luxurious carriage. Others who already resided close arrived by hoof. Many were accompanied by other bigwigs and big names. Some even flew, namely the Wonderbolts. But in terms of making an entrance, nopony had anything on the group of eight that arrived in front of the castle without a single noise. It was as if they were always there, and were meant to be right there all along.

“Whew. It's already a lot fancier than I was expectin'.” Applejack noted with an awed grin.

“Yes, glamour, luxury, and class! We absolutely must conduct ourselves properly.” Rarity gushed.

“Yeah. Let's just hope I don't get attacked this time…” Kai spoke with a shrug.

“Wait, attacked? Why would…?” Twilight stopped herself. Okay, maybe it was hard to recall that most ponies were not used to Kai, especially back then. But the only ones permitted to do any sort of attacking in the castle would be the Royal Guards. She realised. “…All of that time back… Was that what we heard?”

“Yeah, they tried. They failed. And then a certain unicorn went all scaredy-cat on me.” Said unicorn blushed.

“That was… a long time ago.” The saiyan chuckled. “In any case. We should get inside. I can't wait to talk to the Princess after so long!”

Upon entering, hardly a word could be uttered before everypony locked their eyes on a target, and zipped off on their own. Poor Spike was about to speak, so he was spinning in circles, disoriented. Kai stopped him and gave him a sympathetic smile.

“Maybe we can all hang out later.” Spike tried to keep positive. “But right now, I wanted to show you the best donut spot around!”

“Yeah! Just give me a second. I want to say hi to someone.” The dragon nodded as Kai looked about. He saw the new throne in place next to Celestia's… He even saw Celestia greeting Twilight happily. But no Luna. “Um… maybe she's still getting ready. I did throw off her schedule with all the visiting… Yeah… That's it.” He decided, and looked to Spike. “Be right back, kiddo. Gotta talk to old sunny.”

“Old su… You mean the Princess? Geez, and I thought Twilight was being overdramatic when she called you disrespectful.” With a small laugh, Kai strolled towards the mentor-student pair.

“Oh, Kai! Did you want to say hello to Princess Celestia, as well?” Twilight seemed really excited about this whole thing.

“Eh, not really.” He brushed off in jest. Knowing him by now, Twilight shook her head in humor, and Celestia let out a short giggle. “I was actually wondering something, Celestia. Where's Luna? She running a little late or something?”

When the alicorn's expression dropped, it became clear that it was not that simple.

“The populace is… not quite ready to face Luna yet.” Just like that, it became clear. And Kai's mood was soured, like spoilt milk.

“…See ya, Celestia.”

“Ah. Kai, please wait. Luna—” But he was already too far away, speaking with Spike once again. “…would still like to see you.” She sighed. “…Has Kai been… amicable, to everypony lately?”

“Yes? Though, there was the incident with the Diamond Dogs I wrote to you about.” Twilight replied. “I didn't know Kai was friendly with Princess Luna. He mentioned her once or twice, but he never gave the implication of friendship. Then again, he's not exactly the most talkative…”

“Do you still consider him a friend?”

“Of course.”

“Good.” Although Kai was a mystery, he wasn't the focus of this night. Not for Twilight and Celestia, at least. “So! Tell me in great detail about these past months, not in the form of a friendship letter, but as a friend would.”

Twilight beamed.

“Well…”

“Well? Oh, come on!” Back with the boys, Spike was a bit less than happy. “Are we gonna eat or not?”

“We are! I just wanna say hi to another friend! I didn't expect to see her here, so… ya know?”

“Yeah, well, make it quick.” Grumbled the dragon.

Kai looked to the ponies on a small stage set by a window pane, and waved to a familar earth pony musician. Octavia Melody noticed him and smiled, albeit surprised. She whispered something to her fellow players, received a nod and set her cello down to walk to Kai. She gave him a look up and down before speaking.

“You look very charming, Kai. It's good that Vinyl isn't here. Who knows what she would try…?” The mare trailed off, annoyed yet fond.

“If she was here, she could hold me back from you. You're lookin' all kinds of good, 'Tavi.” Octavia blushed, glancing away. But, Kai knelt down and moved her head to face him. “Mind if I steal you away for tonight?”

“I-I am quite happy as I am, thank you.”

“Come on… Be a bit bolder. Aren't you jealous of how carefree Vinyl can be? Don't you want to show her you can be just as carefree?”

“My revenge shall be served to her, not with you.” Octavia giggled, giving the saiyan a short peck on his cheek. “But I appreciate your offer.”

“Madam Octavia?” A slightly aged mare called to her. Octavia gave her a nod and looked back to Kai.

“My time is up. Enjoy yourself, Kai.”

“Yeah, keep up the great music.” With that, Octavia returned to her area to play the cello. Kai stood, putting his hands to his hips and smiling… then he noticed Spike's deadpanned stare. “…What?”

“That was kinda shameless.”

“You take your shots when you can. You'll understand one day.”

“I don't think I'll be that bad.”

“Big talk from the guy who can't flirt.”

“I can flirt! But the mare I want doesn't flirt like that! She's more… more elegant. More amazing. More beautiful!”

“More Rarity?”

“Exactly! More—” Spike paled, looking back up at Kai. The saiyan, meanwhile, was giving the most taunting of grins. “H-h-how did you know?”

“I think it's obvious to everypony but Rarity. No offense.” His face was flushed. “You could do with a bit more life experience, but, in terms of matches… You're not that bad, kid.”

“Thanks.” Spike sighed. “Not that it matters much. Rarity's gonna find her prince tonight. I can't compete with a prince.”

“You don't get some things. You're young, and that keeps you from seeing things the way us grown ups do. Here, take me to this donut place and I'll tell you about it.” At Kai's comfort, Spike perked up a bit and started leading him.

“They're the best donuts around!” Spike assured with a smile.

“Good thing I skipped lunch.”

It didn't take too long, though, weaving through the ponies in attendance was a bit inconvenient for Spike, what with his short stature. But they were soon out of the castle, away from the hopeful ticketless crowd, and in the nearby establishment by the name of “Donut Joe's”. The door opened, and a bell chimed to mark their entry.

“Welcome, welcome! Have a se—” Surely, this pony behind the counter had to be Joe. A beige unicorn, with a brown mane and tail, donning a white uniform. He seemed surprised, but quickly replaced it with a smile. “Well, I'll be! Little Spike, and he's brought a friend. You're Kai, aren't you?”

“Holy crap. My reputation precedes me.” Kai spoke excitedly.

“What does ‘Holy crap’ mean?” Spike wondered with a lifted brow.

“It means we're both dead if you repeat that in front of Twilight—now go sit down.” Confused but scared enough, Spike quickly took a seat, Kai joining his side. “How do you know about me, boss?”

“Word spreads quick about a successful business owner standing on two legs. Especially when he's friends with the ones who stopped Nightmare Moon.” Joe explained. “Anyway, what can I get you two?”

“'Round of donuts, stat!” Spike demanded cheekily.

“Oh! And two mugs of your best alcohol!” Kai added on.

Joe lifted a brow but nodded, and Spike looked up to Kai.

“Why alcohol? Did you get hurt?”

“Nope. This is a different kind of alcohol. This Gala is your rite of passage! …Well, as a guy. And I'm gonna walk you through it and teach you about stuff I'm sure Twilight will never tell you!”

“Don't corrupt him, now. Go too far and Miss Twilight will hear about it.” The stallion warned as he retrieved their orders.

“Of course.” They waited, and in two or three minutes, they had their orders. Kai was a little surprised the place even had alcohol, but figured it was just a favor from Joe. He picked up the mug and sniffed it. “Mmm… spiced ale.” He took a sip and hummed again. “Phew! That's some good stuff! Spike, drink this stuff slowly, alright?”

“O…kay?” Spike mimicked Kai, sipping at the ale. He coughed as it went down. “Why's that burn? And… kinda different than soda.” He sipped again. “It's pretty good, though.”

“Yup. Alright, Spike!” Kai gave the dragon a smirk. “What do you know about relationships?”

“Like dating and stuff? Not much… I know there's lots of hugging and kissing.”

“My dear, dear Spike. Let me tell you all about the birds and the bees… but the uncensored version.”

…Let it be known… Kai is not a good influence.





Tuning into the others for a brief moment, nopony was getting their best night ever. Twilight couldn't talk with Celestia because she had to greet everypony who attended. Fluttershy had no luck getting the animals to come to her. Rainbow Dash had made it into the VIP area, but received no attention from the Wonderbolts. Pinkie couldn't get any of the stiff attendees to dance with her. Rarity's prince was turning out to be a real jerk. And Applejack couldn't make a sale.

Not turning out to be their best night ever at all.

Applejack perked up as six bits clanked onto her stand.

“Thank ya kindly! What'll ya ha…ha…ha…” Her eyes went wide and she was rendered speechless by the figure before her.

“Just a fritter and a caramel apple. Keep the rest.” The owner of this gruff voice took the selected treats and continued on their way, though, not without a parting comment. “By the way, I think you have the wrong demographic in mind. Next time, try selling h'or d'Oerves.”

Applejack looked at their form disappear around a corner, then to the bits left, then to the missing treats at her stand.

“…I'm… just workin' too hard. Yeah… That's it.” Then she blinked. “But, wait a sec'. That there illusion had a point! These ponies are too fancy! I just gotta jazz these up a bit.” And she knew exactly how…





“…and after about nine months, a baby is born, and can you guess where it comes out of?” Spike could only stare, stunned, flushed, and… stunned. “Yup! You got it right! Same place the magic happened before! And that, my dear Spike, is how babies are made. Questions?” …He fainted. “Okay then. Class dismissed.” Kai looked over to Joe, who stared accusingly. “…Please don't tell.”

“Oh, I'm telling.”

“Welp, boss! I'm gonna get a move on! Now that the kid's asleep, I might as well check on the Gala.” Joe shook his head, snorting and waving to Kai as he stood to leave.

Upon reentering the castle with no problems, Kai—

“Woah—what the heck!?” —found himself sidestepping… projectile cake? It looked to be coming from a large platter tipped over by the prone forms of Applejack and Pinkie Pie. He looked back to see the trajectory of the cake… and fumed at the sight of some suited white unicorn stallion holding Rarity in the way as a shield. “Oh, you're dead.”

“YOU…!” The fury in Rarity's eyes—this prince was terrified. “You, sir, are the most uncharming prince I have ever met! In fact, the only thing royal about you is that you are a royal pain!” She noticed Kai approaching, and that glare of hers turned into a triumphant sneer. “Kai! Would you like to show this prince how a true gentlecolt acts?”

“With. Pleasure.” The prince recoiled in disgust.

“What is that hideous… thing!?” Kai held his hand towards him.

“I'm a saiyan.” With that, the very, very weak kiai he sent out blasted the prince across the room and into a pillar, breaking it. Kai was about to move to catch it, but it wasn't on the path to hit anypony.

At least it wasn't, until Rainbow Dash tried to catch it to prove a point. Have as much strength as you want, but balance something improperly and it will fall. At least two ponies earned a scratch because of it.

Just then, Princess Celestia emerged from a door, Twilight Sparkle by her side. After assessing the situation, Twilight made an astute observation.

“Well… it can't get any worse.”

Murphy's Law. The general idea that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. One normally invoked it by asking things along the lines of ‘What could go wrong?’ or saying things like… like what Twilight just said. What happens when this law is invoked? Well…

…you get to see it in action.

Fluttershy burst through the doors, looking none too happy at fleeing creatures and exotic wildlife.

“You're… going to LOVE ME!”

At with that, all Taurtaurus broke loose.

Kai gave Rarity a look.

“Permission to swear harshly?” She sighed.

“Granted.”

“…What the fuck.” Shaking off the momentary break from normal, Kai grabbed Rarity and went into a teleporting frenzy. He grabbed up their friends, and, with them making contact with him in some way, he teleported them to the one safe place he could think of.





“So, like… every girl has it?” Spike asked Joe in groggy confusion.

“Yup, every girl.”

“…Even the princess?”

“I'd assume so.”

“…I want my innocence back.”

“Line up, my friend.” Joe glanced past Spike's shoulder when he saw movement, and noticed some familiar faces. “Hey, welcome back, Kai. You brought some friends.” His brows rose. “And… Princess Celestia.”

“Yeah, we're gonna need a table.”

Spike gave Joe a gesture, then hopped off of the stool to approach the group.

“So, how was it? Was it your best night ever?”

The group traded glances.





“That sounds like the worst night ever.”

“Truthfully, I would beg to differ.” Spoke the princess. The group gave her a look of confusion. “You see, the Grand Galloping Gala is always just awful.”

“It is?”

“It is why I was so glad when I learned everyone would be attending. I had hoped you would liven things up, and you did not disappoint.” She smiled at the group. “While the evening may not have gone as you planned, I'm sure you'll agree that in the end it didn't turn out so bad for this group of friends.”

“You're right, Princess. Friends have a way of making even the worst of times into something pretty great.” Twilight agreed with a smile, shared by her friends.

“Yeah! Hanging out with friends!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

“Talking!” Fluttershy agreed.

“Laughing!” As did Pinkie Pie.

“You mean doing exactly what I wanted to do the whole time?” Came Spike's deadpan of a question.

“Yes, Spike. You were right.” Twilight admitted with a giggle.

“As horrible as our night was…” Applejack began.

“…being together here has made it all better.” Continued Rarity.

“In fact, it's made it…” Pinkie trailed off, as they all knew what it was.

“…the best night ever!”

And with that, the friends laughed mirthfully, truly glad to have experienced this. It was a lesson they would never forget.

“I just don't understand you ponies.” Just like that, Kai, Rainbow Dash and Celestia flickered into a battle stance, aimed at the darkened, opposite corner of the room. “Does friendship really make such a bad time, good?”

Kai lifted a brow, then dropped his stance, waving a hand to calm the others.

“Long time, no see, Cargo. How's the fritter?” Indeed, his foe from long ago sat, finishing a bite of a fritter with a dismissive look.

“I preferred the caramel apple, but not bad overall.” With that, Cargo stood from his table and approached Kai and his friends. “You know, I had come here to kill you.”

Everypony was on edge from hearing that, but the saiyan calmly tilted his head in curiosity.

“Why didn't you?” Cargo smirked.

“You looked miserable. I thought killing you would be doing you a favor, so I just watched you suffer a bit.” Kai pouted.

“Why are you here now? If your intentions are not to kill Kai?” Celestia asked sternly.

“I can't attend a party I have a ticket to?” Cargo held up a golden ticket to this very Gala, surprising the group. “In any case, your situational awareness is slipping, Kai. It's pathetic.”

“Yeah, well, you have two years of experience with hiding. Of course I wouldn't sense you.” Kai argued, only for Cargo to shrug.

“Um… Cargo?” The demon looked to Twilight. “You said that you don't understand friendship… Do you—”

“No. I've zero intentions of allying myself with the likes of you.” Although he said that, Cargo stared at Applejack for a few seconds. She looked around a bit nervously, but met his gaze. “I'll be back for caramel apples, however. Consider yourself lucky, apple pony. If ever I decide to rule this pathetic world, I may spare you.”

“Uh… thanks.” 

With a final taunting smirk to Kai, Cargo left the establishment, likely not to be seen for a while. The group certainly did not expect him.

“You are… awfully cordial with him, Kai.” Celestia noted.

“Like I said last time, he hasn't done anything except hit you. If anything, right now, he's just an acquaintance. One that wants to kill me, sure, but an acquaintance, nonetheless.” Kai replied simply, the others sharing Celestia's look of doubt.

“I see…”

Silence for a few moments…

“…Kai let me drink ale and told me how babies are made.”

“What!?”

“Tattle-tail!” The collective glares of all of his friends stopped Kai from saying more. It was unsettling. Glares from all of them. He hadn't earned a glare like that from Fluttershy, before. Even Princess Celestia was raising an accusatory eyebrow. Kai lifted his hands placatingly. “Ladies… I have a very valid explanation.”

“…Go on.”

“You see—” And he turned tail to run.

“Hey! Get him!”

As they gave chase, Celestia tilted her head to Spike with a curious expression.

“How much, exactly, did he tell you?”

“Everything.” Pony Joe answered for him. Spike nodded in agreement.

“I see.” With that, she vanished, only to reappear with everypony dogpiling on Kai.

He blinked, then glared at the princess.

“Oh, that's just cheap.”

“Respectfully, I would like to see this.”

“Thank you, Princess.” The girls chimed out.

“Uh…! Um…! I'm sorry?” The returning expressions spoke loud enough. ‘You will be.’ “Wait! Cargo, come back! Kill me!”

A fate far worse than death. Punishment from six friends. Kai was in for it.

Yeah. Best night ever...