//------------------------------// // The Alcoholic Adventure // Story: The Mystery of a New World // by Fanthrose //------------------------------// Chapter 35 Pain. That was the only word that came to mind as AJ began to stir. Every part of him was in pain. Worst of all was the intense throbbing in his head. It felt like his head was in an unrelenting vice intent on causing him everlasting pain. Not only that, it felt like somepony was stabbing him with needles right above his tail. Combined that with the soreness that dominated the rest of his body, and how dry his mouth was, he was one miserable pony. As he lay there wishing for death to take him, he could hear muffled voices coming from the other room. He couldn’t understand a word of what was being said. The only thing he could tell was that one voice was female, and the other sounded like a young male. Whatever they were talking about, they were laughing. The smell of fresh pancakes began wafting into the room. As the smell hit his nose, the urge to vomit grew. He turned onto his side as he let out a loud, pathetic groan. Opening his eyes, he saw two bright, blue eyes framed by lots, and lots of pink peering at him from below the couch cushion. “P…Pinkie?” “…How are you feeling?” A miserable groan was the only answer she got. “Oooooh, that bad huh? Well, just leave it to your big sis! I know just the thing to get rid of that hangover! Pinkie’s Super Special Hangover Hammer! Sure to get rid of even the worst hangovers! Now, where am I going to find a box of lobsters?” “While I’m sure…whatever it is you need lobsters for…would cure his hangover, I think this will have a more immediate effect.” A glass of water in a pink aura floated across the room. The water stopped directly in front of AJ’s gaze. He stared at it for a moment with a shimmer in his eye. It was like a gift from the heavens. He quickly grabbed the glass with his hooves and greedily downed the glass of cool, life giving liquid. Pinkie looked over to Twilight with a frown. “Awww. You’re no fun Twilight.” Twilight rolled her eyes. “If you’re hungry Spike just finished making some pancakes.” “Oh boy! Pancakes!” Pinkie dashed past Twilight and into the kitchen. AJ groaned on the couch. “Please don’t-urp- talk about food.” “Yea, hangovers aren’t fun, are they?” Twilight asked as she tapped her hoof on the floor. “Hangover? I was…drinking?” “Uhh, yea. You came into the library last night completely hammered. To give you the abridged version, you came in, demanded I give you some nachos, were very rude to both me, and Pinkie, and passed out.” Twilight sighed. “I don’t appreciate drunken ponies randomly storming into my library and harassing me you know.” “Please just shut up with the lecturing and let me die in peace,” groaned AJ as he sat up. “Fuck me. How much did I even drink?” “How should I know?” “Hey Twilight, you better get in here and get something to eat before Pinkie eats it all.” Twilight turned to see Spike standing in there in his pink apron. Spike turned and glared at AJ. “Oh, you’re awake. Are you going to throw up all over me again?” “Throw up? I didn’t throw up on you.” AJ put a hoof to his head as his headache continued to throb. That’s when he noticed something strange. He patted down the rest of his body. “Why am I all crusty?” Spike facepalmed. “No, of course you wouldn’t remember. After how bad you were last night I’m surprised you even remember your name.” “Spike, be nice,” said Twilight. “Hey, you didn’t get covered in stomach juice last night! I have the right to complain!” AJ sighed as he began rubbing his temples. “What exactly did I all do last night?” “Why?” asked Twilight. “I want to know what I all need to apologize for.” “Where do I start,” Spike said with an annoyed look on his face. ******************** All was peaceful in the Ponyville library. A little while ago, Spike had finished cleaning the library from top to bottom. He had been working all day to make it as clean as possible. The inside of the building practically sparkled. Unfortunately for him, much of that dirt and dust had clung to his scales. As thanks for doing such a good job, Twilight had given him the next day off. She felt bad taking any of the books off the shelf to study that night. She turned from the shelves as she heard Spike coming down the stairs. Like the library, he to was practically sparkling. “How was your bath Spike?” Spike had a bright smile on his face. “It felt amazing.” The smile on his face turned a bit sheepish. “But…the tub is a bit of a mess right now.” Twilight brought a hoof to her mouth and giggled. “Well, you were pretty dirty Spike. I’ll take care of it tomorrow.” “Alri…” Spike was interrupted as a yawn escaped from him. “Whoa, I guess I was more tired than I thought.” “Maybe you should go to bed early tonight. You have been working hard all day.” “Yea, you’re probably…” The door to the library suddenly burst open with a loud crash. Standing in the doorway was a certain, swaying, indigo unicorn. “Wwwwwhat up bitches?! The pimp is here!” Twilight and Spike looked at each other in confusion. “Uhhh, hey AJ. Have you been…drinking?” asked Twilight. “You bet your sssssweet ass I’ve been drinking!” AJ stumbled into the building; not even bothering to close the door. “Now, I demand you give me your biggest bowl of cheesy nachos. Chop, chop!” “Excuse me?” “Twilight!” Pinkie suddenly ran through the open doorway with a look of worry on her face. She ran up to Twilight and grabbed her by the shoulders. “You have to help me! I just can’t stop him by myself!” “Just slowdown Pinkie!” Twilight pushed Pinkie off of herself. “Now, just what is going on? Why is HE, of all ponies drunk?” Twilight took another look at AJ. “And is that a tattoo above his tail?” ******************** “WAIT, WHAT?!?!?!” Quickly sobering up, AJ whipped his head around. Sure enough, right above his tail was a tattoo of a scratched vinyl record with a crimson DJ, outlined in gold sitting above it. Twilight and Spike watched as AJ just stared at the tattoo in wide eyed shock. “Hmm, you’re taking this better than I thought,” said Twilight. AJ gave no answer. He just kept staring at his inked backside. “Uhhh, hello?” “I think you broke him.” Twilight turned to see Pinkie’s head right next to hers. “Nonsense. He’s just in a state of shock. He’ll recover soon enough.” “Oh, okay!” Pinkie bucked her hips and bounced back into the kitchen. Twilight watched as a plate of pancakes landed on the floor next to her. She rolled her eyes and turned back to AJ just in time for him to grab her by the shoulders. “Tell me these things can be removed!” Using her magic she pushed AJ off. “Tattoo’s can be easily removed, but for now, back to the story.” ******************** “HEY!!!” Twilight and Pinkie looked over to AJ. “I don’t hear the sounds of you making me nachos over there!” AJ managed to stumble his way over to Twilight and Pinkie to ‘glare’ at them. “You have GOT to be kidding me!” yelled Spike. “You come in here, drunk off your ass, demand that Twilight make you some food, and you expect her to do it?! I don’t know who you think you are, but you need to…” Spike was interrupted as AJ swept him up in his legs. “Yyyyyou know Spike, us guys have to stick together. Asssss you can clearly see, all these crazy mares are useless. They aren’t good for nothing. I mean look at her.” Using a free hoof, AJ pointed in the general direction of the two mares in the room. “The bitch hasn’t even started on my pie.” “I thought you wanted Nachos?” asked Spike. AJ blinked a few times. “I…I don’t rrrrrremember. All I know is the two of us need to stick to…” Before he could finish his sentence, AJ bent his head down and began vomiting for all he was worth. Unfortunately for Spike, he was in the direct path of the projectile vomit. What didn’t cover Spike, made a big puddle on the floor in front of him. Once he was finished hurling his guts out, AJ looked up with a dopey smile on his face before falling forward into the pool of his own vomit. Pinkie and Twilight looked on in disgust for a second before the sound of struggling could be heard coming from under AJ’s passed out body. Using her magic, Twilight lifted his body out of the pool to reveal a very horrified Spike underneath. Spike slowly got himself into a sitting position. He looked himself over, before looking at the pool he was sitting in. He had to force the tears back. Not only did he JUST finish cleaning himself off, but he had worked so hard all day to make the library shine. In a matter of minutes, AJ had stormed in and made a mess of both. Twilight dropped AJ on the floor and lifted Spike up. “Pinkie, could you go get some towels and cover the couch with them? I guess he’s going to need somewhere to sleep.” Pinkie nodded and trotted upstairs. Twilight sighed. “Come on Spike. Let’s get you back into the tub. I’ll clean this up while you get yourself clean…again.” ******************** Once again, AJ looked down at his body. A look of disgust grew on his face as the realization hit him. He was covered head to hoof in his own dried vomit. His stomach started twisting into knots once again. “Oh god…I think I’m going to be sick.” Spike had a smirk on his face. “Is it wrong that I’m enjoying this?” “Yes. Yes it is,” scolded Twilight. She turned back to AJ. “Why don’t you go take a shower? In case you haven’t noticed, you don’t smell very pleasant right now.” “That’s putting it mildly.” Spike suddenly felt a sharp painful tug on his head fin. He looked at Twilight who was giving him an unamused look. “Ugh, fine. I’ll go talk with Pinkie then.” Twilight facehoofed as a sigh escaped from her lips. “As I said, you should probably go and…” As she turned back to the towel covered couch, she noticed that AJ wasn’t there. The sound of vomiting suddenly started echoing down from upstairs. Twilight shook her head. “At least he made it to the bathroom this time.” Lifting up the plate Pinkie left for her, she went into the kitchen to begin eating. ******************** About 45 minutes later, hooves could be heard coming down the stairs. AJ had vigorously scrubbed every inch of his body down three times over to make sure he got all the vomit off. While he got that problem taken care of with enough scrubbing, the throbbing pain in his head still continued. As he got to the bottom of the stairs, he heard the sound of voices. He followed the sound of voices into the kitchen. He saw Twilight, Spike, and Pinkie talking about something. He wasn’t too sure what they were talking about, but then again, he really didn’t care at the moment. He walked over to the table and sat down in the chair. He laid his head down on the table and lightly groaned in pain. “Here, drink this.” AJ looked up to see Twilight sliding a glass of green liquid in front of him. “It will help with your hangover. It’s what I do whenever I have one.” He looked between the glass in front of him and Twilight. “What is…” “Just drink it,” said Spike. AJ looked over to him. “What? It can’t be much worse than the hangover.” Figuring Spike was right; he lifted the glass and slowly began dinking. Moments later his eyes widened. He got up and made a mad dash to the sink; spitting out what was in his mouth. Turning on the faucet, he stuck his head under the water and washed his mouth out of the foul tasting liquid. Once he was sure the taste was out of his mouth he turned to Twilight. “What the hell was that vile crap?!” “Pickle juice. It’s very good for a hangover. While I admit it’s not the greatest taste in the world, it does work wonders,” Twilight said matter-of-factly. AJ spat into the sink one last time. “If that’s the best way to cure a hangover I think I’d rather just suffer. That was just terrible. And I thought mayo was bad.” “Fine, but I don’t want to hear you complaining then.” Twilight lifted the glass over to the sink. AJ glared at the juice as it was poured down the drain. “Good riddance.” “Wait!” cried out Pinkie. Everypony turned to look at her. “Didn’t you have to work today?” AJ blinked a few times before slowly facehoofing. He groaned before speaking. “Oh Celestia. Applejack’s going to kill me.” “Oh come on. I’m sure you’re just blowing this out of proportion. Once you explain the situation to her I’m sure she’ll understand.” ******************** “When Ah get mah hooves on’im, he’ll wish he’d never got away from Ditzy,” grumbled Applejack before taking a sip of lemonade. She was sitting on the front porch of the farm house watching the path that lead to and from the farm. She had been waiting all morning for a certain unicorn to come waltzing back to the farm. To say she was angry was an understatement. Applejack didn’t even turn when she heard hoof steps coming towards her. “Hey Applejack, can Ah please just go ta th’ bathroom?” asked Braeburn. “Ah don’t remember sayin’ y’all could stop workin’ yet.” “Come on Applejack. We said we were sorry.” “Sorry ain’t goin’ ta finish th’ unfinished chores around here. Th’ three of ya are just as guilty as he is.” Applejack shook her head. “Y’all saw how bad he was after just one glass! Why in Equestria would ya allow’im ta drink half a keg by himself?!” Braeburn laid his ears back in embarrassment. “Okay, Ah guess we did kinda drop th’ ball there, but is this really all necessary? Ah mean me an Rainbow had plans t’day an’…” “Yer plans can wait until th’ three of ya finish every single chore around th’ farm, an’ the east field is all bucked. We’re goin’ ta need plenty of apples. Cider season’s just around th’ corner.” “Can Ah at least go ta th’ bathroom?” “There’s plenty of bushes around th’ place.” ******************** AJ let out an involuntary shudder. “What’s wrong? Are you cold?” asked Twilight. AJ shook his head. “No, I just get the feeling my impending doom is near.” He sighed. “I guess I should be getting back to the farm and face my…” Knock, knock “I’ll get it!” called Pinkie as she bounced out of the room. “Who do you think it is?” asked Spike. “Maybe it’s somepony looking for a book.” Twilight smiled. “It’s always nice to see somepony coming to the library to expand their knowledge.” Pinkie poked her head back into the kitchen. The smile on her face had turned a bit sheepish. “It’s uhh…It’s for AJ.” AJ looked at Twilight and Spike in confusion before walking out of the room. Imagine his surprise when he saw Shadow and Screwball standing in the doorway. “Hey. What are you two doing here? And how did you even know I was at the library?” Shadow and Screwball looked at each other for a moment before looking back at AJ. “We uh…kinda ran into you last night,” Shadow said. “You did?” “Uh huh. You were really silly too,” Screwball said with a smile. “Oh no,” groaned AJ. “Please tell me I didn’t do anything too bad.” Shadow put a hoof to his chin. “Well…” ******************** Shadow and Screwball were walking home from the movie theater. Screwball had desperately wanted to see the new Body Harvest movie that had just come out. With Trotsworth being too busy with work, it was just the two of them that night. And while he always enjoys the time he spends with Screwball, Shadow spent more time hiding behind her in terror than he did actually watching the movie. “Did you like the movie Breezey? I loved it! Like the part where Mareis Hayton’s character got her head chopped off by the killer!” “Y-y-yea…great,” Shadow nervously said. Screwball stopped and put a hoof to her chin. “Maybe she should have been paying attention to what was going on instead of having sex with those five stallions at the same time.” “I-i-i-i-I thought it was terrifying.” Screwball looked at Shadow in confusion. She didn’t really understand how he found the movie so frightening. She enjoyed every minute of the movie. “Was it really that bad?” Shadow let out an involuntary shiver as he thought back to the movie. “I don’t think I’ll sleep for weeks.” Screwball felt horrible. She had dragged Shadow, the one pony that meant more to her than anything else in the world, to a movie that he didn’t even want to see in the first place, and now he was scared. “I’m sorry Breezey. I shouldn’t have talked you into watching it.” “N-no, it’s okay,” Shadow said with an unconvincing smile. “As long as you had fun I don’t mind.” Screwball thought for a moment before her face lit up. “Oh, I know! How about I sleep with you from now on?!” Shadow’s face immediately turned an intense shade of red as his eyes grew. He looked around; hoping nopony had heard that. “N-n-n-no, th-that won’t be nece…” Screwball giggled. “Not like that silly.” Screwball wrapped a leg around Shadow’s neck; hugging him to her chest. “Just think about it. You’re having a bad dream. Bad, evil monsters are chasing you. Suddenly, I appear around the corner and fend off those baddies. You wake up, and there I am. Your protector both in, and out of your dreams. We look into each others eyes. You lean in and kiss me as thanks for protecting you, and…” “K-k-k-kiss?!” Screwball was once again confused. “Well, yea. Isn’t that what coltfriends and fillyfriends do? Trotsy and Nurse Meany Pants do it all the time.” Shadow had never thought about it before. He and Screwball were really close. At times it felt like they were even closer than he and his brother. They did everything together. Everywhere Shadow went, Screwball was right there to accompany him. Even Trotsworth had made comments about how close the two of them had become. ‘Are…are we really going out?’ Before Shadow could put anymore thought into it, indigo hooves wrapped around both him and Screwball. The scent of alcohol filled the air around them. “Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyy you guys. How the hhhhhell are ya?” The two teens looked up in confusion to see AJ’s face hovering between theirs. He had a goofy grin plastered on his face. From the constant shifting and correcting, they could tell he was having a hard time keeping his balance. Every breath he took just intensified the smell in the air. “Heeey uh, AJ. We’re fine.” Shadow looked at Screwball who just shrugged in confusion before looking back at AJ. “A-a-are you drunk?” The smile dropped from AJ’s face. “Wwwwwhy does everypony keep *hic* keep asking me that?” The smile quickly returned. “Oh hey, yyyyyou know what we should do?!” “W-w-what?” “We should totally go to the bar!” Shadow and Screwball looked at each other again. “Aren’t we too young to drink?” asked Screwball. “FFFFFFFFUCK THE SYSTEM!!! If they try to kick you out, I’ll just kick’em in the balls, and…” “There you are!” came a mares voice. “How are you so hard to find?” Before either Shadow or Screwball knew what was going on, AJ was suddenly pulled off of them. They turned to see none other than Pinkie Pie dragging AJ away by his tail. “You aren’t going to any more bars! You are going home to get some sleep mister!” “Hi Miss Pinkie!” said Screwball as she waved to the pink pony. Pinkie let go of AJ’s tail so she could speak. “Hello you two. Sorry, but I can’t stay and chat. I have to get him back to the farm.” “I-Is he going to be okay?” asked Shadow. “Oh, don’t worry about him. He’ll have one doozy of a hangover in the morning, but he’ll be fine. Oh, I remember the last time I drank too much.” “Uh, Pinkie?” “I woke up the next morning feeling so crummy.” “Miss Pinkie?” “It’s a good thing I had everything I needed for Pinkie’s Super Special Hangover…” “Pinkie, he’s gone.” Pinkie stopped speaking and just stared at the ponies in front of her. Turning she saw that AJ had indeed fled once again. Off in the distance he could be seen stumbling straight towards the library. “Oh ponyfeathers! Sorry you two. Got to go!” They watched as Pinkie began chasing AJ down the street. “Uhh, maybe we should just get home,” Screwball said with a straight face. “I agree.” The two of them turned around so they could continue to their house to find Pinkie staring directly at them again. This, of course, freaked Shadow out; causing him to leap into the air and hide behind the sign of the candy shop they were in front of. “Oops, sorry. I just had one last thing that I almost forgot to say.” “What?” questioned Screwball. The bright smile on Pinkie’s face grew even more. “You two should come to Sugarcube Corner for your next date! I’ll be sure to make you something super special.” Shadow could only blush as Pinkie, once again, took off after AJ. ******************** “And that’s all that happened,” Shadow said; finishing the story. “Sooooo I didn’t do anything too stupid?” Both Shadow and Screwball shook their heads. AJ let out a relieved sigh. “That’s a relief. Sorry if I scared you at all.” “It’s okay!” Screwball said with a smile. “Breezey wasn’t hurt, so everything is okay.” AJ couldn’t help but smile as Screwball hugged Shadow close to her body. “Well, I guess that’s one less worry on my mind. I just hope I didn’t cause too much trouble last night.” “Well, Rarity didn’t sound too happy with you last night.” All three ponies looked at Pinkie in confusion. “Rarity? So I visited Carousel Boutique last night?” “Uh huh,” Pinkie said as she nodded her head. AJ sighed. “Well, I guess I know where my first stop is.” He got to his hooves; stretching his neck as he did. “We should go then. The faster I apologize to Rarity, the faster I can get this thing off of me.” Pinkie giggled as AJ pointed to the tattoo above his tail. “Yea, yea, laugh it up. It’s gone the first chance I get.” “But it looks so nice,” commented Screwball who received an unamused glance in return. “Let’s just go Pinkie.” AJ began walking towards the door before stopping next to Shadow. “It’s was nice seeing you again. You should come over for dinner one of these days. I’m sure Applejack wouldn’t mind.” Shadow scratched the back of his head. “Well, we didn’t have any plans today. We could just go with you if you if it’s okay. Besides, it sounds like you could use a bit of help right now.” “Am I really that transparent?” AJ said with a chuckle. Lifting a hoof he affectionately tussled Shadow’s mane. “I’d like that. I’ll need all the support I can get right now. Right, let’s go.” ******************** AJ was too busy grumbling to himself to realize that they had arrived at Carousel Boutique. The entire way there he had overheard ponies whispering and giggling at the tattoo he now had. “I swear…the next pony that says anything about the tattoo is getting a face full of rocket.” “Uhhh, AJ?” Shadow shrunk back as AJ turned to glare at him. “W-w-we’re here.” AJ glanced in the direction Shadow was pointing. Sure enough, Carousel Boutique was right in front of them. Taking a long, deep breath to calm himself, AJ walked up to the door. “Well, here goes nothing. I hope Rarity isn’t too mad.” Everypony watched on as AJ knocked on the door. “Just one minute!” came Rarity’s sing song voice from inside the building. A smile grew on AJ’s face. “Well, she doesn’t sound mad at all. Maybe this won’t be as bad as I thought.” The door opened to show Rarity’s beaming face. “Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and…” Rarity finally opened her eyes to see who was at the door. Her expression soured in a matter of seconds. AJ’s confidence quickly began to plummet. “Oh…it’s you.” AJ slowly backed away from scary looking mare. Unfortunately for him, Pinkie was in his corner and pushed right back into place. “Uhhhh h-hey…Rar...” Rarity silenced him by putting a hoof up. “Just one moment.” Rarity calmly closed the door, and hoof steps could be hard walking away. “She looked maaaaaaaaad,” said Screwball. “Nonsense! I’m sure she’s just getting some cake to share with everypony as an act of friendship!” Pinkie said with her usual smile. “M-maybe we should go. I don’t think Rarity’s in the mood to…” “Uh oh,” Pinkie said as she began looking at her tail. “What?” “Twitchy twicha twicha twitch!” AJ looked at Shadow and Screwball in confusion before looking back at Pinkie. “What are you ta…” Before he could finish, Pinkie tackled him to the ground. Shadow and Screwball jumped back as a sewing machine smashed on the ground in the spot that AJ had just occupied. Everypony looked at the smashed piece of machinery on the ground before looking up to the upper level of the boutique. A very cross looking Rarity had stuck her head out the window. “I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU THAT I NEVER WANTED TO SEE YOU AROUND HERE AGAIN!!!” “WHAT THE HELL RARITY?!?!?!” Once again, Pinkie grabbed him out of the way as an old, broken mannequin was thrown out the window at AJ. After that a big spool of gaudy fabric flew out the window. “PINKIE!!! STOP HELPING HIM!!!” Pinkie looked at Rarity with a smile. “Okay!” AJ looked at Pinkie with a panicked look. “WHAT?!?!?! Don’t ‘okay’ her! She’s trying to kill me! Celestia knows what she’s going to throw next!” Pinkie watched as the next projectiles flew out the window. “Uhh, you may want to…” “Just tell me when she’s about to…” AJ was silenced as he felt multiple sharp items embed themselves into his backside. “YYYYYYOUCH!!!” AJ looked back at the many needles stuck into his flesh. “Go get him Opal darling!” “Opal?” Looking up, he saw a snow white ball of fur fly straight into his face at terminal velocity. In an attempt to save herself from the sudden impact, Opal extended her claws as she headed straight for him. AJ winced as Opal landed straight on his face; embedding her claws on impact. From her position, the two of them were looking directly into each other’s eyes. “U-u-u-ummm, n-n-nice kitty?” Opal let out a ferocious howl of anger. AJ’s face suddenly became a cloud of fur, claws, and pain as Opal went ballistic. A cacophony of pained screams could be heard echoing all throughout Ponyville. ******************** “Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!” “Would you sit still? All that flinching and moving around is making it a lot harder to clean all these scratches,” Spike said as he applied more disinfectant to a cotton swab. “I can’t help it. Not only does, whatever the hell that is you’re using on me, sting like a bitch, but…” AJ stopped and tensed up as a sharp pain jolted through his backside. “Pinkie! Could you please be a bit more gentle back there?!” Pinkie dropped the needle she had just removed from his rump before smiling sheepishly. “Oops, sorry.” “At least try to stay still then,” Spike said as he reapplied the swab to AJ’s face. After his little…encounter with Opal, his face looked like it had gone through a battle with a lawn mower and lost horribly. Claw marks littered his face. The only silver lining of this mess was that none of the claw marks got deep enough to do any permanent damage. “And to think, I actually liked cats. Stupid sentient ball of lint.” “Excuse me?! My darling Opal is a refined feline with exquisite tastes! She is most certainly not a ball of lint!” came a voice from the door. Looking towards the door, Twilight, Rarity, Shadow, and Screwball could be seen entering the library. A saddened Sweetie Belle was riding on Rarity’s back. After Opal had her way with AJ’s face, Pinkie had dragged his twitching body back to the library where she and Spike went to work fixing him up. While they worked, Twilight, Shadow, and Screwball went to try to calm Rarity down so AJ could at least talk to her. Now that they were face to face again, after what she had just done to him, AJ felt the need to flee in fear of another cat attack. “Y-you didn’t bring Opal with you…did you?” “Nope. The kitty stayed at home,” Screwball said with a smile. AJ let out a sigh of relief. “Opalescence needs to be groomed again,” Rarity said with a huff. “After today, her perfectly manicured claws are all dull.” “Gee, I wonder how that happened,” grumbled AJ as Pinkie pulled the last needle out. With all the needles out, AJ let out a groan of relief. “That feels sooooo much better.” “I hope it hurt. Those were some of my best needles.” Rarity bent down to let Sweetie off her back. “At least I can sleep easily knowing they were put to good use.” “Now Rarity, we brought you here to talk,” Twilight said. “I’d prefer to keep things as civil as possible.” Rarity let out a sigh. “As you wish Twilight.” She turned and glared at AJ. “But if he tries anything, the gloves are off.” “I don’t even know what I did! Why in the hell were even throwing things at me?!” Rarity looked miffed. “You stormed into my boutique last night and tried to ruin Sweetie's life.” “I did what now?” AJ looked at Sweetie who sniffled and turned away. AJ slowly brought a hoof up to his face before wincing as he touched one of the scratches. “Why do I have a feeling this is going to end with another story of me being an asshat?” ******************** Rarity let out a weary sigh as she put the last of the dishes away. It hadn’t exactly been a busy day around the boutique, but with Sweetie around, everything that was once easy always seemed to become a chore. Rarity loved her younger sister with all her heart, but sometimes she could be a pain in the flank. Dinner, for instance, should have been a very simple and clean ordeal. Rarity will never understand how Sweetie had managed to light a glass of milk on fire, or how in Equestria the noodles had turned into a single, solid, unbreakable cube after they were boiled in water. Not even the cheese sauce that was meant to go on the noodles made it out alive. It had exploded and covered the kitchen in a coating of cheese. In the end they had just resorted to a bowl of cereal for dinner. Sweetie Belle had gone to bed a little while ago after helping clean up the mess in the kitchen. Rarity wouldn’t be too far behind. She would probably already be in bed if it weren’t for her usual nightly routine. She was just about to go upstairs to start a bath when she heard a commotion coming from outside her door. As she listened in, it sounded like somepony was singing. It also sounded like said pony was inebriated if said pony’s inability to keep a tune or remember half the lyrics were any indication. It wouldn’t have bothered Rarity so much if it wasn’t for the fact that the singing was getting closer and closer. She had dealt with drunk ponies before, usually harassing her during the few times she’s actually been to a bar, but she’s never had to deal with one in the privacy of her own house. When she was in public, she always had her friends to give her support. Now, she was alone. For all she knew, the pony could have every intention come into her house and hurt her, or worse, Sweetie Belle. ‘Celestia, please let them pass.’ Normally she wouldn’t have been afraid of that type of this type of thing, but tonight was different. Earlier in the day she had watched a movie called ‘Innocence Lost.’ It was a movie about a perfectly normal 16 year pegasus filly named Wonder Star. She was just about to start her junior year in high school, and had just been asked out by the colt of her dreams. Then one night her world came crashing down. She and her younger brother were going to be home alone until late. Her parents had gone out on a date, and left her in charge while they were gone. It was almost her brother’s bed time when she heard a knock on the door. Wondering who it could be, she went to go answer the door. upon opening the door, she saw their neighbor Brick Wall. He was a middle-aged earth pony stallion, and he had helped build their house years ago. He even used to foalsit her when she was too young to stay home alone. After noticing that he was drunk, she asked if everything was alright. Brick Wall eventually forced his way into the house by striking Wonder Star hard; sending her to the floor. After getting into the house, he dragged her into the living room and onto the couch where he forced himself on her. The rest of the movie dealt with her trying to piece her life back together. She felt even worse after finding out that the act had made her pregnant. Even knowing that none of the ponies in Ponyville would do that type of thing, the movie left a bad image in her mind that just wouldn’t go away. The singing suddenly stopped and everything went silent. She was sure she felt her heart skip a beat when she heard a knocking on the door. She quickly grabbed up a parasol that was sitting in a holder near the door and readied it. “W-w-who is it?” It was silent for a moment. “…Wwwwwwwwhy is the door locked. Doesn’t she know its vvvvery rude to not let somepony in?” Rarity blinked a few times. She knew that voice. Taking a peek out the window just confirmed her suspicions. AJ was standing just outside her door. He was drunkenly swaying side to side. He looked over to the side and saw Rarity looking at him through the window. A big smile grew on his face. He lifted a foreleg and began waving to her. “Hi Rarity! Can I come in?!” Rarity watched as he lost his balance and fell onto his side. Sighing, she replaced the parasol. She unlocked the door and began opening it. She knew he was harmless. Even if he did try something, she knew she’d be able to take care of him. She opened the door to find him struggling to right himself. “Would you like some help?” AJ looked at her with frustration on his face. “Hhhhey, did you see the guy that did this? I nnnnever knew Ponyville was so full of jerks.” Rarity facehoofed before helping him up. “You do know you fell over, right? No pony pushed you.” “Nnnnnonsense.” AJ draped a leg around Rarity’s shoulders and started whispering in her ear as if it was a secret. “There’s somepony who’s pushing ponies over. Wwwwwe should get inside so he doesn’t get us too.” Rarity nearly gagged at the powerful stench of alcohol on his breath. “What have you been drinking?” “Hhhhard cider is good.” “Uh huh. Darling, just how many mugs of cider did you drink exactly?” AJ blinked his eyes out of sync as he thought. “Uhhhh lesse...” He lifted a hoof into the air and began doing whatever drunken form of math he had just thought up of. “What number comes after seven?” ‘Oh sweet Celestia how is he even standing?!’ “Why don’t you come in for a glass of water? Wouldn’t want any ponies coming and pushing you over again now would we?” “Yyyyea, good idea.” AJ followed Rarity into the boutique. After closing the door, Rarity headed to the kitchen. “Why don’t we go into the kitchen and get you that water?” She looked over her shoulder to see AJ just standing there swaying from side to side. “Well, are you coming?” “Wwwwhat are we doing now?” Rarity facehoofed once again. “We were going to get you some…” AJ suddenly gasped loudly. He drunkenly tiphoofed over to Rarity and put his leg around her shoulders again. “Rarity, loooooook!” He pointed a hoof at a mannequin that had an unfinished dress on it. Rarity sighed as she looked at the dress. “Oh I know. I wasn’t able to finish it today. Not to mention all the revisions that I need to…” “Nnnnnot the dress stu-hic-stupid. The pony wearing the dress.” Ignoring the insult, she raised an eyebrow. “Are you talking about my mannequin?” “Manny Quinn? What a name,” gushed AJ. “It’s a mannequin,” deadpanned Rarity. “I think she’s flirting with me.” AJ gave a sheepish wave to the mannequin. “I’m gonna go talk to her.” “It’s a mannequin! It can’t flirt with you because it’s not alive!” “Hhhhey baby. I noticed you from across the room, and noticed you giving me the llllllook.” Aside from Rarity’s facehoof the room was silent. “You really mean that! awesome! Yyyyou know what, we should totally make out!” “Excuse me! You will not make out with my…” “Yea I know she’s sssstanding right there, but I don’t care. I am in love with you and I don’t care who knows it!” AJ puckered his lips and pressed them against the mannequin’s snout. Rarity’s horn erupted in magic as she pulled the mannequin away from AJ causing him to lose his balance and fall flat on his face. “I will not have you defiling my mannequins like that! If you’re going to act like that I will have to ask you to leave!” After getting off the floor, AJ fixed Rarity with a drunken glare. “God Rarity, why are you such a biiitch?!” Rarity’s rage was beginning to build. “Rarity? What’s going on down here?” Rarity blinked before looking towards the stairs. Sweetie Belle was standing at the bottom of the stairs. She had a plain pink night gown on, and was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. “Oh, Sweetie Belle. Did we wake you? I’m so sorry!” Sweetie took another look around the room. “Why is AJ here?” Rarity looked at AJ and let out a lady like harrumph. “No reason. In fact, he was just about to…” “Oh, Sweetie Belle! Good thing yyyyyou’re here! I have some good news to tell you.!” AJ stumbled over to Sweetie. Sweetie gave AJ a questioning look. “Are you drunk?” AJ completely ignored the question. “Sweetie, I now know how you’re ssssuch a sweetie, and why Rarity’s a dumb biiiitch.” Sweetie looked at Rarity before looking back at AJ. “I don’t know. Rarity’s been a pretty good sister to me. She has her moments, but…” AJ put a hoof up to Sweetie’s mouth to silence her. “Shushshushsushss. This will be easier if you don’t speak. Sweetie, I know why the two of yyyou are so different.” Sweetie just waited silently for the answer. Rarity, on the other hoof, was a bit more worried about what AJ was going to say. He’s proven that, when he’s drunk, he’s not afraid to speak his mind. “Sweetie, you’re adopted.” Sweetie’s eyes got wide. “W-w-what?!” Rarity couldn’t believe he had just said that. She just stood there, mouth agape, staring at the stallion in front of them. “I-I’m not adopted! Rarity’s my real sister!” “Nnnnope. Not possible. The two of yyyou are too different to be related.” AJ patted Sweetie on the head. “I can only imagine how awesome your real parents are.” AJ blinked out of synk. “I wonder if your real mom is hot.” “B-b-b-but…” AJ noticed the tears welling up in Sweetie’s eyes. “Whaaaaat?! No, don’t be sad! This is a day to celebrate! Your parents picked you out from the rest of the little fillies cause Rarity turned out sooooo badly. They picked you so they could have their perfect little angel instead of a fuddy duddy. You won’t grow up like that old sssstick in the mud Rarity. Isn’t that great?!” The room was silent. The only sound was Sweetie Belles haggard breathing getting louder. “Yyyyou know what we need to celebrate? Booze. Hey Rarity, where do you keep the…” Sweetie Belle suddenly ran upstairs; crying her eyes out. “Hey! Where are ya going?!” AJ turned as he heard somepony stomping closer to him. The look on Rarity’s face said it all. If looks could kill, AJ would be dead, embalmed, wrapped in gauze, and buried six feet under by this point. Her horn erupted in magic as AJ suddenly began lifting into the air. She brought his face close to hers; ignoring the stench of alcohol. “I bring you into my house to help you, and what do you do? You make out with my mannequin, insult me, and worst of all you made Sweetie Belle cry!” Using her magic, she opened the front door to the boutique again. With as much force as she could muster, she hurled AJ’s body out the door; hoping to cause as much pain as possible upon landing. After watching him bounce and tumble, she poked her head out of the door. “I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AROUND HERE AGAIN!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!” She slammed the door shut as hard as she could to emphasize her point before going upstairs to calm Sweetie Belle down. ******************** “Do you realize how long it took me to explain to Sweetie that she wasn’t adopted? That she is my flesh and blood sister? I had to show her more photos than I can count. It’s a good thing I have those photos of her just after she was born.” Rarity smiled down at Sweetie who smiled back at her. Everypony in the room watched Rarity and Sweetie before turning to AJ who was busy slamming his head into the arm of the couch repeatedly. He took a momentary break to look at Twilight. “Hey Twilight, where’s the nearest cliff?” “Why?” “Cause hurling myself off of one is sounding like a pretty good idea right about now.” Twilight shook her head. “Some how I don’t think that will help this situation. At all. Why don’t you just tell her the truth and apologize to her?” “Twilight, I convinced her she was adopted! What do you want me to say?! ‘Oh, hey there Sweetie Belle. Sorry for saying you were adopted. I was waaaaaaaaaaay to drunk, and didn’t know my ass from my head. No hard feelings.’” He smashed his head into the arm once again. “You uh…you know she’s right there and can hear everything you’re saying, right?” asked Shadow as he nudged AJ’s shoulder with a hoof. “This I know.” AJ lifted his head to look at Sweetie Belle. She was shuffling her hooves around nervously. He sighed and got off the couch. “Guess I can’t make things any worse than they already are.” As AJ got closer to Sweetie, he noticed Rarity giving him an ‘I’m watching you’ gesture. AJ sat down in front of Sweetie and began to collect his thoughts. He still didn’t know what to say. “Why did you say all that stuff?” Asked Sweetie before AJ could finish thinking. “Why would you lie about something like that?” Everypony looked at AJ; waiting to hear what he was going to say. He scratched the back of his head as he decided to bite the bullet. “Truthfully, I don’t know.” He could feel Twilight facehoofing behind him. “I don’t even remember most of yesterday, and I sure as hell don’t remember last night. I doubt I’ll ever know or understand what was going through my mind at that moment.” “Actually, I think I remember reading a spell that could give us some insight into what you were thinking not too long ago.” “Not helping Twilight.” He turned back to Sweetie Belle and sighed. “Look…all I can really say right now is I’m sorry. I messed up. I drank too much and turned into a grade A douche bag.” He turned away from Sweetie to look out the window. “I only hope I didn’t hurt anypony else.” He turned back to Sweetie. “I uh…I think it would be for the best if I kept my distance from you for awhile.” Sweetie’s eyes got wide. “B-but what about your duties as a Cutie Mark Crusader?!” “I never said I’d quit the CMC, but I don’t think this is the best time to…” “You took an oath! You can’t just avoid us!” “I just thought that…” “If you don’t complete your duties, you’ll have to be punished for betraying the oath.” “Wait, punishment? You girls never said anything about a punishment.” AJ looked at Rarity who just shrugged. He sighed again. “Alright. I won’t avoid you, but there’s got to be something I can do to try to make things better.” Sweetie put a hoof to her chin and thought for a moment. AJ swallowed the lump in his throat; hoping she would think of something. “Well…I have some ideas, but I’ll need to run them by the girls. For now, just promise me you won’t drink anymore. You’re really mean and scary when you’re drunk.” As much as he wanted to be worried about the ideas Sweetie had thought about, he decided to concentrate on her proposition; nodding with a smile before speaking. “Yea, I can do that. Shouldn’t be too hard. Anything else?” Sweetie thought for a moment before shaking her head. “Well, it’s good to see that everypony’s getting along again,” Rarity said with a smile. “But it’s time for Sweetie Belle to get back home and finish her homework.” “What?! Can’t I just play today?” Rarity lifted Sweetie onto her back. “I’m sorry Sweetie Belle, but your education is very important. You don’t want to grow up to be an uneducated silly filly, do you?” “Noooooo.” Rarity smiled as she looked to Twilight. “Well, it’s time for us to be getting home. It was nice seeing you again Twilight.” AJ sighed in relief as he watched Rarity walk out the door. He didn’t even realize Twilight was walking towards him until he felt her pat him on the back. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” “I don’t know Twilight. I feel like I got off too easily.” “I wouldn’t worry about it. I’m sure they realize it was a mistake, and didn’t feel like anything more was necessary.” Twilight and AJ were suddenly wrapped in a tight, group hug. “Yay! Everypony’s happy again!” Pinkie said with glee in her voice. “You know what this calls for? Cupcakes!” AJ felt his stomach begin to lightly rebel against him again at the thought of sugary sweets. “Ugh, I think I’ll pass Pinkie. Besides, I should really be getting back to the farm.” “What are you going to do about that?” asked Screwball as she pointed at the tattoo on his back. Looking at his back, AJ gave a big sigh. “Well, I guess I’ll just have to live with it until I can get it removed.” “Aren’t you even curious about how you got it?” asked Twilight. “Not really. The story probably includes me being a jackass and making a complete and utter fool of myself.” “Yea. You probably have a point there.” “I’ll talk to you later. I’m sure Applejack is wondering where I am.” He looked over to Shadow and Screwball. “You two still up for dinner at the farm?” “Uh huh! Trotsy’s fun, but his cooking really sucks,” Screwball said; sticking her tongue out to emphasize her words. “Can’t deny that. Alright, let’s go.” ******************** “Aren’t you even a little curious about that tattoo?” asked Shadow as they walked down the street. “Nope. Don’t know, don’t want to know. As I said, I’d rather not hear another story about me being a…” “Hey hey, look who it is! What’s up ‘Tongue Twister?’ How’s the ink today?” AJ stopped dead in his tracks. He began crying internally as his posture became pathetic. “Celestia, why does life hate me?” The three of them turned to see a scrawny looking unicorn stallion trotting towards them. His coat was golden, and his mane and tail were crimson red. His eyes were a dull green color. His ears were longer than normal, and flopped over a bit. He had piercings in both of his ears, his eyebrows, and his lip in a wide variety of colors. He had many tattoos covering a fair amount of his body. A pair of black goggles with red tinted lenses hung around his neck by a strap. His cutie mark, a scratched vinyl record, looked very familiar to anypony that had seen AJ’s tattoo. When he reached the group, he put his leg around AJ’s shoulders. “How ya been bro? You seemed like a pony on a mission when you left the club last night.” AJ just sighed and facehoofed. “What club are you talking about, and who the hell are you? I can’t say I remember seeing you.” The pony looked at AJ for a moment before chuckling. “Heh, it really doesn’t surprise me that you don’t remember me. You were pretty wasted last night.” “No shit.” “Bro, it’s me! Disk Jockey!” He put a hoof to his chin. “Though everypony just calls me DJ.” AJ just grumbled a response to DJ. “Heeeey, come on. What’s with the hostility today?” “He hasn’t had the best of days so far,” said Shadow. DJ looked at AJ with a grimace. “Well that’s no good. You seemed so happy last night. Hell, you were probably the happiest pony in the club last night. You were…” DJ was silenced as AJ put a hoof to his mouth. “I’m going to stop you here and now. I’ve already heard stories about how big of an ass I was last night. I don’t need to hear another.” DJ cocked an eye brow as he moved AJ’s hoof away from his mouth. “An ass? Dude, I don’t’ know what you did after the club, but while you were there, you were amazing. You were having almost too much fun.” ******************** DJ removed the goggles from his eyes as he looked over the crowd. “How is everypony doing tonight?!” The crowd in front of him cheered wildly. “That’s what I like to hear!” Looking to his right, DJ saw his boxes full of records and other types of music. Thinking for a moment, he lifted the record off his player and replaced it with one of his personal favorites. “I hope you’re all ready for something a bit heavier! This is one of my personal favorites by my hero, DJ Pon-3 herself!” The crowd cheered as the beats filled the club. Knowing how long this set could go on, he decided to take a bit of a break. Removing his headphones, he walked away from his equipment and towards the bar. It took him a moment, but he eventually found an open seat next to a certain swaying indigo unicorn. As he sat down, he nodded to the bartender. “Just the usual Shakes.” The bartender grunted in acknowledgment as he walked away to go make DJ’s drink. As he waited, he looked to the swaying pony to his left. The pony hiccupped before returning the stare with an inebriated smile. “Hey, you must be new here. Don’t think I ever remember seeing you.” AJ just hiccupped again before turning forward; continuing to stare at nothing in particular. DJ watched as he brought a glass up to his mouth; downing what was left. DJ turned when he heard Shakes place his drink on the bar. “Don’t worry. I’ve been givin’im nothin’ but cola since he got here. He don’t need any more alcohol in’im.” DJ let out a slight relieved sigh. He should have known though. Shakes was an amazing bartender, and always knew when somepony was at their limit. “Good to know.” DJ brought his glass up to his lips when he felt somepony tapping him on the shoulder. Turning his head, he saw a stallion with a teal coat and a caramel colored mane standing there. “What’s up?” The pony shifted nervously before speaking up. “Uhh, I was wondering. W-would you like to…go out with me?” DJ sighed before taking a small swig of his drink. “Sorry dude. Not really interested in a relationship right now.” “O-oh…okay.” DJ watched as the pony sulked away and sighed. “Wwwwwhy did ya do that?” “Scuse me?” DJ turned his head to the inebriated pony sitting next to him. “He just wanted to go out with you. Why did yyyyyou say no?” DJ took another sip from his drink. “I probably get hit on at least once a night. It’s all the same. They come up to me, act all timid like, and act like I’m a scary dude.” “What’s wrong with that?” “It’s just not the type of pony I’d wanna date, ya know?” DJ looked up as he reminisced about his perfect stallion. “I wanna date a stallion that’s strong. He’s gotta be forward with me. If he wants some of this…” DJ motioned to his body. “He comes up to me and says so. He doesn’t act all timid and shit. I dunno. When he comes up to me, he needs to act like he’s in control of me.” “Yyyyou mean like this?” Before DJ could even react, AJ grabbed him up in his legs and leaned him back. The next thing he knew, the inebriated stallion had his lips pressed up against his, with his tongue working its way into his mouth. After about ten seconds, AJ let up; letting DJ fall to the floor. Still stunned from the sudden kiss, DJ crawled back onto his bar stool. “Whoa. That…was…awesome.” AJ smiled. “Thhhhanks. My fillyfriends loves it when I do that.” DJ blinked a few times. “Wait wait wait wait wait. You’re not gay?” AJ laughed a little too loud. “Wwwhat made you think I was gay?” “Well, that kiss just now was very…convincing.” DJ scratched the back of his head. “Not to mention that this club is a hot spot for filly foolers and colt cuddlers. Hell, I think the only regular here that isn’t gay is Shakes, and he’s only here all the time because he owns the place.” AJ looked around the club. Sure enough the big room was full of many same sex couples. Some were getting into the party atmosphere a bit more than others. “Well…would you look at that.” “You mean you really didn’t know?” AJ shook his head. “Wow…awkward.” “Wwwhats wrong?” DJ sighed. “Nothing. Just thought I finally found my dream stallion.” “Whaaaaat? No no no no no no no no. No being sad. Sad is bad.” AJ drunkenly patted DJ on the shoulder. “Besides, you’re too cute to be sad. In fact…if I was gay, I would TOTALLY go out with you.” DJ just stared at AJ for a moment before bursting out laughing. “You’re either the most sexually confused stallion I’ve ever met, or you’re just very open about your sexuality. Either way, you’re one fun bro.” He looked out to the rest of the club. “Come on, there’s some open spots on the dance floor. Let’s go have some fun.” ******************** “We danced for awhile. At some point you gave yourself the nickname Tongue Twister. After awhile you commented on my tattoos. I took you to the back room where my brother gave you that baby.” DJ pointed to the tattoo on AJ’s back. “After that, you left saying you had stuff to do.” “Well…that wasn’t too bad,” Shadow said with a slight smile. AJ sighed. “I guess hearing that I frenched a stallion I don’t even know is better than hearing that I was an asshat.” His ears twitched as he heard Screwball giggle. “What? Would you rather hear about me doing something stupid such as breaking a bar stool over somepony’s head? Compared to the rest of the stories I’ve heard today, I’d say this is an improvement.” Screwball giggled again. “You liked it.” AJ facehoofed before turning to DJ. “Heya, quick question…” DJ chuckled a bit. “Yes, the tattoo can be removed. Pretty easily too.” AJ blinked a few times. “How did you know I was going to ask that?” “Trust me. I’ve gotten my fair share of drunken tats. Just come on down to the club, and Needle Point can take care of it no problem.” AJ sighed in relief. “That’s a load off my mind. Now I just need to find where the club is.” “How about this. I’ll meet you here tomorrow and we can go then.” “Round 2 work for you?” DJ nodded his head. “Sounds like a date. Right now, I need to get back to the farm. I’ll see you then.” As DJ split away from the group, Screwball couldn’t help but burst out with giggles. “And just what is so funny?” “You have a crush on him,” Screwball said with a sly smile. “Screwball! I swear to Celestia…” ******************** AJ smiled warmly as he walked towards the farm house. Screwball had been giggling the entire way, but AJ wouldn’t let it get him down. His day was finally starting to look up. He had only been up for about four hours, but it felt like an entire day had gone by already. “Thank Celestia. Today can finally start…” “An’ just where have you been?!” AJ looked towards the barn to see Applejack stomping out of the building. “Applejack, how are yyyyou look very angry.” “You were supposed ta work t’day.” “Yeah, sorry bout that. I had a pretty wild night last night,” AJ said as he scratched the back of his head. “So Ah’ve heard.” Without saying another word, Applejack leaned over and bit down on AJ’s ear; dragging him towards the barn. “Owww! What the hell Applejack?!” “There’s a lot of work ta do around th’ farm since ya skipped out fer two days in a row. You have a lot ta catch up on.” “Oww! But Applejack we ha-ow-have guests! They were ow going to have din-ow-dinner with us tonight!” “Yer little play date can wait! There’s too much ta do!” Shadow and Screwball watched as AJ was dragged across the farm by his ear. They looked at each other. “I uh…I guess there’s been a change of plans then.” Screwball nodded her head. “Uh huh.” They just sat there for a moment until AJ was tossed into the barn to start cleaning it. “So…you wanna go on a date?” Shadow felt his face heat up as he looked at Screwball. A soft smile slowly grew on his face. “Y-yea. I’d like that.” ******************** Celestia was sitting at the head of the table in the royal eating quarters. She was resting her head on the table; rubbing her temples to try to rid herself of a throbbing headache she was suffering from. Her day had started out so good. She thought that nothing bad could have happened. She couldn’t have been anymore wrong. Her ears perked up as she heard the familiar sound of a cloud of magical dragon flame entered the room. She looked up as a scroll dropped to the table in front of her. She grumbled to herself as she lifted the scroll into the air and unrolled it. Dear Princess Celestia Alcohol sucks! AJ. Celestia let the scroll fall to the table with a sigh. She took another look around the room. In the center of the room hung a huge banner with “HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRINCESS CELESTIA” on it. Party decorations littered the entire kitchen, along with birthday presents and tons of sweets. That’s not what had made her so aggravated though. After the party had died down a bit, Luna had taken it on herself to keep the party going. Unfortunately for her, that meant she was at her sister’s mercy. As soon as she had gotten the chance, Luna had brought out more punch bowls filled with spiked punch. Not only that, she had also brought in a bit of…entertainment. For the last two hours, Celestia had to deal with, not only a drunken Luna, but also had to fend off the many, many strippers, both male and female, that Luna had brought in. Using her magic, Celestia summoned up a scroll and a pot of ink. Dear AJ Trust me…I know Celestia. **************************************** ((HOLY SHIT IT’S FINALLY DONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait, what am I talking about. It hasn’t been that long since I updated this. Other me: It’s been about a month. Me: HEY, FUCK YOU OTHER ME!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaand a pic of Disk Jockey My little pony © Hasbro Friendship is magic © Lauren Faust))