Far outside Canterlot, Discord looked upon the grand city. He took a deep breath. "Ah, Equestria." He looked upon it in an intimidating posture. One of a general about to go on a hard, but successful conquest. It had once been his home, but that was thousands, upon thousands of years ago. And tomorrow, it would be his home once again.
He marveled at the fine design of the building. The sweet breeze that flowed by. The peaceful chit chat of animals scurrying about. It was calm. It was serene. It was..."OH MY STARS, IT'S SO BORING!" Discord yelled, breaking the calm of the day.
He knew he had to break it even further. "Now, to gather that army." Discord said, snapping his fingers. A foldable chair popped up in a flash. He sat down into it. He then clapped his hands together, producing a bell ringing noise. "Bring me the candidates."
An orange cat waddled up to him, with a folder in its mouth. Discord grabbed it. "Thank you." He said. The cat saluted and barked like a dog. He opened up the folder. "Okay...hmmm," He stroked his beard, looking through the files. After several moments, he sighed. "Really? That's all?" He closed the file, which vanished into thin air. "Well, you have to work with watcha got." He snapped his fingers together. After a brief white flash, a box full of bright red collars appeared. He smiled wickedly and looked back at Canterlot. "Look out Equestria. Discord's a commin'." He vanished.
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Meanwhile, in Ponyville. Ditzy Do had just finished up delivering the mail and was making her way back home. Actually, she was heading towards Carrot Top's house. She usually dropped off her kids with her when she went off to work. Carrot Top was only happy to oblige her. 'What a great friend.' She thought.
Speaking of her friend, she spied Carrot Top outside. She was wearing her gardening hat, so as to keep the sun out of her eyes. Ditzy smiled as she flew down to her. She landed right behind her. Carrot Top still hadn't noticed her. She was too busy watering her precious carrots. "Hi, Toppy." She said, using her nickname.
Carrot Top dropped the water can and jumped in surprise. Ditzy never understood why her friend was so jumpy all the time. She got scared by the simplest things. Carrot Top put a hoof to over her heart and tried to calm herself down. She then turned to her friend. "Ditzy," She scolded. "I told you not to sneak up on me."
"I didn't." Ditzy said, defending herself. "You just weren't paying attention."
Carrot Top sighed. "Alright, but please don't call me Toppy. You know how much I hate that nickname."
Ditzy smiled, shyly. "Sorry."
"No harm done." Carrot Top said, offering a smile of her own.
Just then, a bright white light appeared. The two mares covered their eyes, to shield themselves from it. Not but a few seconds more, it stopped. In the exact spot stood the spirit of chaos. The most evil entity in all of Equestria: Discord. He smiled and lifted a bird like finger. A bright red collar appeared and floated down to them. Ditzy grabbed it out of the air. 'It's so shiny.' She thought, looking it over. "It's time." The being stated, before vanishing.
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"These prices are outrageous." Jet Set said, glaring down the pony behind the counter. The jewel store that they were in had been his favorite out of any in all of Canterlot and he wanted to treat his wife; Upper Crust; to a new necklace he had his eyes on. He had brought her down with him, all the while bragging about the place. He was shocked when he first stepped inside. Everything was different. Apparently, the store owner, a long time friend of his; Jewel Craft; had lost rights to the store. Now, he had to deal with some new riffraff.
Like the pony across from him. He wore a shabby, green vest and had an unkempt greasy black mane. He even was busy chewing on some substance, sometimes pausing to spit into a small vase. "I told yer already, that's what yer get for 'em." He said, with some accent he couldn't pin on. Of course, he knew of only how sophisticated ponies spoke. This was just some lowly commoner talk.
"Now see here." Jet Set pointed to his wife. "I came here to acquire a necklace for my wife. It's our anniversary you see and…"
"I don't care if your ma were dyin'." The light brown Earth pony again spat into the purple vase. "Yer aint gonna get 'em no cheaper 'ere."
"Dear, why don't we go somewhere else," Upper Crust stuck her nose up into the air. "Somewhere more civilized."
"Not until I put this low life into his place." Jet Set was determined as ever to get that necklace. 'Upper Crust will look smashing in it.' He thought. He loved to pamper her, even if she never asked for it. He loved her with all of his heart and she deserved the best.
"Low life?" The Earth pony laughed, before spitting once more. "Y'all wouldn't know what low life looked like. Yer 'eads are too far up yer own arses."
Upper Crust gasped. "How dare you use such language in front of my wife?" Jet Set stomped a hoof onto the ground. "Don't you know the tiniest amount of civility?"
"Civil nothin'." He spat once. "Now are yer gonna pay or not."
"I certainly will not." Jet Set glared at the Earth Pony. "When my friend owned this store, he did so with pride and honesty. He had decent prices and always greeted me and others with respect."
"The prices aren't much 'igher." The pony pointed out. "And I'm only given' y'all as much respect as you deserve."
Jet Set pointed an accusative hoof at him. "Low lives, such as yourself, don't have the right to raise them."
"Don't 'ave the right?" The Earth pony glared at him. "Git out."
"You can't order me to get out. You're just an employee."
"Dear," Upper Crust tried pulling him away from the counter. "Let's go."
"I can get my boss out here." The Earth pony threatened.
"Good, I'd like to talk with him." Jet Set nodded.
"Dear, let's go." Upper Crust begged.
Jet Set was silent for a moment. He looked down to his wife. He saw her pleading eyes, full of concern and worry. Finally, he sighed. 'I can't keep doing this.' He thought. He then turned back to the pony at the counter. "You'll be hearing from my lawyer."
The Earth pony laughed. "Like I'm scared of some lawyer."
Jet Set and Upper Crust walked off. Jet Set had a deep scowl on his face. His hooves left little marks in the ground as he trotted along. "Dear, are you alright?"
"No." Jet Set said, seething in frustration. "That scoundrel just kicked us out of the establishment." He sighed. "And I was going to get you that beautiful emerald necklace you wanted."
Upper Crust put a hoof on her husband's shoulder. "Dear, don't worry yourself over it. True I would have looked dazzling in it, but we have enough jewelry for now."
'Well, until the next trend that is.' Jet Set thought, but pushed it aside. Yes, his wife would go out and buy items worth hundreds of bits. Bits he had worked hard for, but as long as she was happy, he would deal with it. She could see he was troubled and lightly nuzzled him. He smiled, as some of his stress faded away.
His inner thoughts were interrupted when a flash of light popped up in front of them. Jet Set instinctively put a hoof out in front of Upper Crust, shielding her from some of the rays. "What in Equestria was that?" Upper Crust said.
The answer to that stood in front of them, smirking. It was some sort of monster. A creature you would see from out of the Everfree forest, or some other foreign land. It was a mish mash of several animals, put together in no particular order. The fiendish monster lifted its eagle like hand and snapped its fingers. A ruby red collar appeared out in the air and then floated down to them. "It's time." The creature stated, before vanishing. Upper Crust put a hoof to her head and fainted.
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Deep within Canterlot, within her personal quarters, Princess Luna was looking over the charts of the skies. Again and again she went over them. She sighed. Having been gone more than a thousand years, she wanted to make up for lost time. She wanted her stars to shine more brightly than ever. So that all of Equestria would look upon them and marvel.
Beside the charts, were stacks of bills and laws. Luna had asked for more responsibility in the government, but it still taxed her having this new load. She was pretty rusty and most of it didn't make any sense. New inventions, new ideas, and etc. Such as taxis. 'What in Equestria is a taxi?' She thought.
Just then, somepony opened the door. Luna looked up from her papers. "Oh, hello Allura," She said. Over the last few weeks, she had mastered modern speech. "What brings you here?"
In stepped her personal servant, Allura. She was an Earth pony. She was red colored, with a bouncy black mane. Her green eyes were slightly slanted. She was beautiful in every sense of the word. Luna found it hilarious how the guards still fawned over her, sometimes falling flat on their faces. "Your sister requests an immediate audience with you, your majesty." Her voice carried a slight French accent.
"Tell her I'll be with her in a moment." Luna shuffled through another stack, while teleporting another over onto her desk. "I need to go over an Equestria's healthcare plan."
"Your sister seemed rather urgent."
"She can wait." Luna said. "She did a thousand years' worth, what's a few more minutes." A little anger flared up within her, as she recalled the reason why. She regretted everything she had done during her time as Nightmare Moon, but there was still a part of her that thought her actions were justified.
A flash of light lit up the whole room. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she knew what that meant. "Discord." Her eyes narrowed down in anger, as she beheld the vile being in front of her.
He smiled. "It's time." He simply said, before snapping his fingers. He disappeared leaving behind a ruby necklace.
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In another room, inside the Canterlot castle, Prince Blueblood was enjoying himself. Lying back on comfy, red pillows, while an orange, blue maned, maid fed him cherries. 'Ah, this is the life.' The conceited prince said.
Of course, his blissful sanctum wasn't impenetrable. A flash of white came into the room. The mare jumped back in fright, screaming as she went. She accidently dropped a cherry right into his windpipe. He started choking and held onto his neck.
"It's time." The beast said, before taking in the situation. He simply shrugged and disappeared. A red collar fell from where he stood.
Right after that, the mare took action. She went behind him, wrapped her hooves around his abdomen, and pressed them forth with great force. Blueblood coughed up the cherry. She got up and went over to fetch him some water.
"That beast nearly killed me." Blueblood shouted in indignation. The mare came back with a cup of water. He levitated over to himself and drank. He shoved it back in her hooves and then proceeded to ignore her. "I will have him executed for that." He went on, rambling out curses and such.
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Screwball sat in the middle of a field, staring off into the sky. She didn't have any reason for this, she just liked looking up. She loved the sky and everything about it.
A flash of white interrupted her little trip into fantasy land. Right before her stood the same creature that had granted her the ability to fly. Who let her live out her dream. "It's time." He stated, before snapping his fingers.
Screwball's grin went from ear to ear. Could she fly again? She hit the little fan on her head. Sadly, it didn't do anything, but spin for a bit. She frowned. 'But he promised me some fun.' She thought to herself, but then noticed a red collar before her. 'What's that?'
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Discord finally came back to his resting place. After finishing up several other calls, he needed a little break. He sat down into his chair. The moment he did, the last collar he had started blinking. 'Someone's calling back already?' He thought. He flashed back to Ponyville.
Right before him stood a derped eyed Pegasus and an Orange Earth Pony. "What is it?" He asked.
"What does 'It's time' mean?" The Pegasus asked, tilting her head in confusing.
"Huh?"
"I mean, you just popped up out of nowhere and said 'it's time', like we're supposed to know what that means." The orange pony said, rather annoyed by his actions.
Usually, that meant he had done a good job, but not in this circumstance. "Get on the wagon, Carrot Top," He had memorized all of their names. "It's the takeover of Equestria."
"We're taking over what?" Ditzy Doo asked, as though she had never heard the word Equestria.
Before he could answer, his collar went off again. "I have to take care of this." He groaned. He snapped his fingers again and disappeared.
He reappeared in front of the two stuck up unicorns, Upper Crust and Jet Set. "Yes, hello again." Jet Set addressed him, cautiously. "What does this 'it's time' thing mean?"
"Don't you know?" Discord said, rather shocked that they didn't.
"No." Upper Crust shook her head.
Discord pinched the bridge of his nose. "It doesn't matter. Just meet me in Canterlot."
"We are in Canterlot." Jet Set pointed out.
"Well, thank you lieutenant obvious."
"It's captain."
"Yes, yes I am." Discord stood before them, in a proud posture.
"Obvious?" Jet Set asked.
"Obviously I'm a captain." With a flick of his fingers, a naval captain uniform dressed him.
"I'm confused."
"Then you're not cut out to be captain then, huh." Discord nodded in his personal victory. The two ponies just stood there, watching him in silence. "Carry on then, pegasi."
"We're unicorns." Jet Set pointed out.
"You would be." Discord got up right in their faces, spitting it out at them in anger. The two ponies cowered in fear of him.
"Would be what?" Jet Set asked.
Discord raised his talon hand. "Worth it." Just then, his collar went off. "Oh, I have to take this." He disappeared again, this time in front of Princess Luna. "Yes?"
"Yeah, it's three twenty two P.M." She said, looking at her charts.
"What are you talking about?"
"I thought you asking what time it was." Luna said, looking up from her charts.
"No, no, no, I'm telling you it is time."
"Yeah and that time is three twenty two P.M."
Discord took in a deep breath to calm himself down. "I have another call." He disappeared once more. He appeared in front of the Diamond Dogs.
"We're behind you one hundred and ten percent Discord." The head diamond dog, Rover, said. "Any pony that refuses to give us the precious gems will face our might." The dogs laughed.
"Wait, what are you talking about?" Discord staring at them, with a questioning look.
"What are you talking about?" Rover asked.
"The invasion of Equestria." Discord explained.
"What is Equestria?"
Discord's left eye twitched in pure agitation. He disappeared again, appearing in front of Blueblood. "Now see here monster," He growled. "I shall have your head for nearly choking me to death."
"Well it wasn't my fault." Discord then raised his talon hand. "But if you want to continue this quest of yours I can just…"
Blueblood shrunk back in fear. "I'll just shut up now."
"That's a good pony." Discord smirked. 'How could this coward share any of Celestia's heritage?' He then answered another call.
He appeared in front of Screwball. "Let me fly again." She chirped out in excitement.
"Later." Discord told her. He teleported away.
"Yeah, it's us again." Carrot Top had her front legs crossed and an eyebrow raised. "Still really confused again."
"Look, we're taking over Equestria, namely Canterlot."
Carrot Top rolled her eyes. "Yeah, I'll just fly there."
"But I can't lift you," Ditzy pointed out.
"I didn't mean it literally."
"Look." Discord raised his bear hand to silence them. "I'll teleport you there." 'Why is getting together an army so hard?' He thought. 'Jester never gave me this much…' His eyes went wide. "Hey, do either of you know where I can find Jester?"
"Who?" Both Ditzy and Carrot Top said in unison.
"Never mind." He groaned. He snapped his fingers and appeared before a blue unicorn mare, wearing a star studded cape and hat. "You're the Great and Powerful Trixie, right?"
She took up a proud posture and gestured to herself. "Trixie is guilty of being great and powerful."
"Do you know where I can find Jester?" Discord asked.
Trixie looked affronted for some reason. "Your mother can find Jester." She shot at him.
"Ha," Discord said, pointing a finger at her. "The jokes on you. I never had a mother." He let the fact sink into him for a moment. His shoulders sagged and he looked down at the ground. Sad violin music started playing. A couple seconds on, he looked over to where the music was coming from. A brown, suit clad, Earth pony was playing a violin. When he noticed his staring, the pony stopped and smiled shyly. He then took off towards the cart and went inside. Discord looked at Trixie and pointed at him.
"Oh, he is a friend of Trixies." Trixie said, with a hoof over her chest.
"A friend? I never would have guessed." Discord rolled his eyes and disappeared. He reappeared back in front of his chair. He waved his hand over the collar he still had. "Okay, can everyone hear me?" There was a collection 'yes's. "Good. Alright, I know you all have questions and I'm happy to answer them, but I need a breather. It isn't easy teleporting back and forth so willy nilly. So, I'm transporting you all to a hotel I rented out. Any objections?" No one said anything. "Good." He snapped his fingers, triggering the collars to transport the ponies over to the hotel room.
Discord sighed. 'This is going to be along conquest.' He thought. 'But it's not a real conquest without the star player.' He followed the trail of a magical artifact he had given his friend. He eyes were closed; a small smile lit his face as he prepared to meet his long lost pal.
"Ah, Jester, how long has it…" He stopped the moment he opened his eyes. He took in his scenery. He had teleported himself in the middle of a graveyard. 'How could I make such a big mistake?' He thought, before looking down. He froze. The grave in front of him had a gentleman's hat on it. Of course he knew it was no ordinary hat. He had blessed it with the powers of chaos, as a gift to his most loyal servant. Gingerly, he grabbed it; almost like he was afraid it would burn him. He picked it up and held it to his eye level. 'Why would he leave it here? A trick perhaps? It better be a good one. We have much catching up to do.'
Without a second thought, he glanced down at the grave the hat had laid upon. He read the inscription. He took a couple of steps back, his mouth hung open.
'Here lies Jester, The Immortal Fool
Proud servant of Discord and founder of Daily Chaos,
May he eternally play pranks in the great pasture above.'
Discord did nothing for several moments, except reread the words over and over again. A small part of him hoped he read it wrong, that his mind was just playing tricks on him. But this was no trick.
The ever joyous spirit fell to his knees. "I'm sorry." Discord told the slab. A single tear fell from his eye. "I'm sorry."
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(During the days of Discord's reign)
High above, in the sky, Discord was laughing his head off on top of a cloud. Far below, ponies were slipping and sliding out of control on the roads, unable to stand up straight. "Soap road." He said, through his laughs. "Brilliant. I'm going to have to use it more often."
Beside him, equally as mirthful, was a blue Pegasus colt. His long dark blue mane was held in a ponytail. "I can't believe I thought of it."
"I can." Discord just adored foals. They always had such spirit, such enthusiasm. And don't even get him started on their imagination. Some of the most creative foals were nearly a match for him, but that's not the real reason. The real reason he loved them was because of their innocence, pure of heart as some say. They could laugh at anything and enjoy the simplest of life's pleasures. It reminded him of a certain mare he knew.
He never did anything o harm a youngling, especially this one. He didn't know why, but there was something about the colt that reminded him of himself. "You're special Jester."
Jester stopped laughing. "Really?"
Discord nodded. "Oh yes," He told him. "You're a personal favorite of mine. Why do you think I spend so much time with you?"
"I never thought myself special." Jester looked down at the ground below.
"Of course you are." Discord placed a hand on his shoulder. "You're the most special pegasi I've ever met and I mean that."
Jester was silent for a moment. He looked like he was focusing on something. "Mr. Discord," He asked. "Why are they carrying a box?" He pointed down to the ground.
Discord raised an eyebrow. 'Carrying a box?' He looked down to where Jester was pointing at. A small convoy of ponies were carrying a coffin along with them. He rolled his eyes. "Oh, it's just some old geezer who passed on."
"Passed on?" Jester gulped. "You mean dead?"
Discord nodded and lay back on top of the cloud. "Yeah. Everypony dies." He stated, as though it was some boring, trivial fact. "Except for me of course. Death knows not to try and take me."
"So, does that mean I'm going to die?" Jester asked.
Discord flew himself back into a standing position. "Most certainly not." He couldn't imagine haven't to watch the little colt before him die. 'Not again. Not like all the others.'
"You promise." Jester looked up at him, with pleading eyes.
Discord smiled down at him and ruffled his mane. "Of course," He said. "I promise and when I promise something, I live up to it."
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But he didn't keep his promise. Jester lay dead and buried, just like all his other friends and comrades. He outlived them all. The spirit of chaos hung about in front of the grave for a few more moments. "I screwed up again, didn't I?" He asked. He nodded. "Yeah, I did." He was met by silence. "I told you to be careful. The spell didn't mean you were invincible." He looked away. "Sorry. I didn't mean to snap."
A small breeze blew past him. "I should have remembered to stop by last time. Check up on you. That would have been great."
The graveyard held nothing but silence in response. "I won't make that same mistake again. I'll stop by after I take over Equestria…No I'm going to really do it this time. No screw ups or anything…Hey, I do not screw up all the time." He held his gaze squarely on the grave stone for a moment. He sighed. "You're right about that."
Finally, he placed the hat back on top of the stone tablet. "Sleep well, old friend." He lent one last smile, before teleporting away.