//------------------------------// // Twilight : Complications // Story: The End is Not the End // by Hoofprintz //------------------------------// To my most devoted student, Radiant Dawn, It sounds to me like you and Tambourine are already really good friends, you just haven't realized it yet. The beauty of a truly organic friendship is that it can develop before you even notice it. I firmly believe that you and Tambourine are more than just acquaintances. It sounds to me like she's a very generous pony. That's a praiseworthy quality, one that is quite hard to come by in current times. If you really don't mind then, my best friend Rarity, if you recall she was the Element of Generosity, struggled with her Element on occasion. I think what I learned from her is that generosity requires a balance. It's just as important to gracefully receive as it is to graciously give. Don't worry so much, Radiant. You're doing just fine. Be well, my student. All of my love. Twilight Sparkle __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "Citizens of Ponyville, this is the Princess of Equestria, Twilight Sparkle. I will be performing a safety check of the town and its protective wards in a few moments. Unless absolutely necessary, I ask that all of you remain indoors. If you are not currently inside, I ask that you find a place to take shelter. If any are outside when the test begins it can create complications for both the town and myself. The spell will be cast in one hour. Both Equestria and I thank you for your cooperation." The magic in my horn fizzled out as my speech amplification spell came to an end. I floated above my old home, the townsfolk below staring up at me curiously. The designation Ponyville had long become a misnomer, the ponies of the town now in the minority. When it came to creatures, Ponyville had always been more diverse than the rest of the cities in Equestria. Unlike Canterlot, Cloudsdale, or even places like the Crystal Empire, Ponyville had always been a mixture of unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies. Now it was a melting pot of the rest of the world. It wasn't abnormal to see groups of ponies, buffalo, changelings, griffins, bison, thestrals, kirin, dragons, and various other species frequenting the town.  It hasn't changed much since then. I couldn't remember how long it had been since the last time I'd visited Ponyville. Even if royal obligations had called me here, I'd refused to answer them. There was too much pain here, too much I couldn't change. But things are different now. I didn't even need Spike to be here to help Ponyville. It was a much larger town than in the past, but it still didn't hold a candle to places like Las Pegasus or Baltimare. As the inhabitants beneath me began to take refuge indoors, I descended to the ground, landing right in front of a familiar venue. Sugarcube Corner... I smiled inadvertently. It was impossible to think about Pinkie Pie without feeling a little more upbeat. Along with the sudden optimism came a foreign sensation I couldn't quite pin down. It crept in quietly, like it didn't want me to know it was there. It was warm and felt... good, but underneath that goodness was a feeling of unease, almost like I'd start laughing at any moment and never be able to stop. As memories of the pink mare moved to the forefront of my mind, I felt as if I were being taken away to another place.  ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I stood watching a younger version of... myself? I, or would the proper terminology be she? Eh. She was partway to maturity, only slightly smaller in stature than I currently was. My doppelganger sat on a chair inside of Sugarcube Corner, two small cups and a purple cupcake resting on the table in front of her.  "I'm telling you, Pinkie, I'm really making some promising breakthroughs! Just you wait!" the younger me shouted excitedly. I know what this is... I would never be able to forget a day like that, even if I wanted to. Right now, I wasn't a part of it though, I was viewing it, as if it were some weird film in a movie theater. I attempted to speak, but some unknown spell or force kept my mouth closed tightly.  "Oh, Twilight," the pink pony that bounded into the room looked more haggard than ever, her mane just a little more deflated than the last time I'd seen her. The wrinkles on her face were a bit more defined. The bounce in her hop slightly weaker. "Don't be silly." She carried a tray of cupcakes on her head that she laid on the table before taking a seat. The bakery was closed for the day, but she'd gotten permission from the Cakes to do some work ahead of time. The Cakes being the twins, not Mr. and Mrs., they'd long since retired by that point. Pinkie loved the place too much to ever really stop working there. Whenever she found time she'd return to the shop that held so many good memories for her... for all of us. I understood the feeling. "You can't stop tomorrow from happening, Twilight, because it never comes!" she laughed at her own bad joke like it was the funniest thing she'd ever heard. I found no humor in poking fun at something so serious, then or now. My lack of enthusiasm didn't seem to bother Pinkie either way. "Twilight, we've been best friends for decades now and I've always been able to tell when you're worrying about something too much," she placed her hoof on mine as she smiled a smile like only she could.  "Pinkie... you don't understand..." My stomach churned as she tilted her head. "I have to... do something." I could hear, could feel the pain in her, in my past self's voice.  "No, you don't!" she smiled as she squeezed my hoof before patting it a couple of times and then lifting a cupcake into her mouth to devour it.  "What do y-" "Why do you have to do something? Is Princess Celestia making you? OH! I guess she wouldn't be able to anymore, huh?" she giggled as she picked up another sweet.  "Of course she's not, bu-"  "Is Discord being mischievous again? We can talk to Fluttershy about it if he is." Another bout of  snickers, another cupcake swallowed whole.  "No, Discord isn'-" "Then why?" The innocent confusion on her face was hard to deal with. It didn't make me mad anymore so much as it scared me. She understood the gravity of things, but sometimes she really did seem to be willfully ignorant.  "Because you're going to die, Pinkie." I could think of nothing else to do but be as blunt as possible.  "So?" her grin somehow grew. Pinkie had never been normal, traditionally speaking, but her lack of concern at her own mortality frightened me more than I could express.  "That doesn't scare you?"  "Nope!" she stated emphatically, her face not flinching even a little. My copy rubbed her head with a hoof, not so much out of frustration, but more out of bewilderment. "It's normal, Twilight." While her smile remained, her voice took on a soothing tone. "Everypony has to move on sometime." It wasn't meant to offend me, but I had been a fool at the time.    "Then you're saying I'm not normal?" The past me had taken on a particularly ugly face. Seeing it from the outside looking in made me feel disgusted in myself.  "Nope!" she said. "I don't think you understand how this works, Pinkie," I deadpanned  "But you're not! You're super special awesome like Princess Celestia! Or Princess Luna! Or Cadance! Or wittle Flurry!" With each name came more excitement from my hyperactive friend. "Equestria needs you just as much as it needs them." "But that's not fair," I whispered. "Why?" she lifted her forelegs and dropped them quickly. I didn't have a proper answer. Because I think it's unfair? That was a foolish reason.  "I don't know." I still didn't know how to answer her question to this day.  "Then don't let it bother you, silly. Let's just have as much fun as we can until the party’s over!" she beamed. "And when I'm gone, I'll always be right here if you need me." She gently laid a hoof over my heart. A loud buzz echoed from the kitchen. "MY CAKES!" She moved so fast a puff of smoke filled the space she had previously occupied. I guess she's not doing as poorly as I thought. Past me sat alone with her thoughts and a single purple cupcake. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I blinked, standing back in front of Sugarcube Corner. Well that was... interesting. A young colt and griffin waved at me from the windows of the building, their smiles growing when I awkwardly waved back. As I turned to walk to my next destination, I could swear I heard Pinkie's infectious laughter coming from within the bakery. I noticed the streets were already almost deserted as the boutique came into view. Less than ten minutes had passed and the town was mostly prepared to begin the ceremony. Impressive. I wasn't ready though, not just yet. The Carousel Boutique was derelict, a run down building and nothing like its former state. Sweetie Belle had never found the time to spruce the place up, her career more demanding than maybe even mine was. I would have had it renovated myself, but that felt... insensitive. Even now as I reached toward the front door to push it open something inside me held me back. "Oh, Your Highness, you're being ridiculous..."  ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I spun around, finding myself now somehow within the boutique. Once again, I faced a scene from the past. Once again my mouth was locked shut. Rarity labored over a group of pony mannequins, the dresses and hats that adorned them looked to be about halfway to completion. My younger self sat on a chair, safely out of the way of disturbing the fashionista's work.  "Rarity..." I groaned. "Oh! Forgive me, darling. I meant nothing by it. But you are the ruler of Equestria now. You'd think you'd have grown accustomed to it by now." She pushed several bobby pins into one of the mannequins, her magic ebbing and flowing as she rotated them around herself. Rarity had always been amazing at her passion, but even now in her advanced age she hadn't missed a single beat. The red glasses that rested on her muzzle seemingly the only thing she needed to shine. "Never-the-less back to the subject at hoof, dear. When has Pinkie Pie ever been afraid of... well, anything?"  "It's death, Rarity. Who isn't afraid of dying... other than Pinkie?" I took the ribbon she hovered over to me into my own magical field, holding it until she was ready to make use of it again. "Well, I'd be willing to wager Rainbow Dash. That mare throws herself all over the sky like she's utterly invincible." she focused on the frills of one of the extravagant hats. "And at her age, no less." "Fair point," I shrugged. "but I'm pretty sure that has more to do with confidence than fear. I mean Rainbow probably doesn't even consider the possibility of dying, she's too 'good'." She took back her ribbon, coiling it around the body of one of the dresses. "Aren't you afraid of... dying?" How could I, the only immortal out of the six of us, be the only one thinking like this? It's completely illogical. She continued to work, moving this way and that while cutting a piece of fabric here or fluffing some material there. "RARITY!" I shouted, appalled that she'd ignore me.  "I'm thinking, darling," she turned toward me to show me that she wasn't as careless as I thought.  "It's not that complicated a question," I huffed as I crossed my forelegs in an annoyed fit.  "Isn't it though?" she turned back to her work.  "How do you figure?" I levitated another one of her accessories in front of myself.  "First of all, I've never really thought about it, at least not at length," she tilted her head.  "You've never thought about dying?" I doubted that. Everypony thought about dying... Didn't they? "Not at length, dear," she corrected. "We've faced death many times before, but we resolved those situations quickly and efficiently, if I do say so myself."  "Rarity... you're getting old." Why couldn't I see what they could? Why did I have to be so... different? "That's a bit rude, don't you think, darling?" she chuckled, though it didn't seem to bother her enough to turn to me.  "I'm sor-"  "No need, darling. I understand your intention." Now she decided to turn my way. "Age is not something that can be resolved quickly or efficiently," she tapped her chin. "but who's to say death isn't... pleasant?" I gaped at her. "What I mean to say is, it's theorized that it's similar to a deep slumber, no? An endless rest? That sounds simply delightful, at least to me."  "Is that what you believe?" The idea of not existing terrified me. To talk so casually about it spoke volumes of the character of the one doing the talking.  "Maybe?" she scratched the back of her head with a hoof. "Twilight, you really must stop being such a worrywart," she said after I began staring incredulously at her.  "How?! How am I supposed to do that, Rarity?!" Listening as a bystander, I realized I sounded more hysterical than I would've thought I had. "It's like you don't even care. I'll be all alone..." My eyes popped open. I hadn't meant to say that aloud, but Rarity's reaction was exactly what I needed at the time. "Oh, darling..." She moved her mannequins to one side of the room, draping her work materials over them. The beautiful smile she had as she trotted up to me combined with my own erratic mood nearly made me cry. She embraced me. "We do care, and you'll never be alone. The princesses will always be here. And you have your sister and your niece... even Spikey-Wikey will be around for a very long time... and if they aren't enough, know that even if I am not here with you physically, I'll always be with you in spirit." she pulled away and pressed her forehead against mine.  "Do you honestly believe that?" At the time I didn't think she did, but now, watching this all unfold from a different vantage point, I knew she truly had.  ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I was back in front of the Carousel Boutique, the only move I'd made was apparently stepping away from the door. I wasn't sure what was causing these visions or what their purpose was, but I felt compelled to continue with them. As I cantered toward the Apple family’s farm, I heard Rarity's faint voice coming from inside the boutique. "I do, darling... I really do..." Sweet Apple Acres was a fair distance away from the rest of Ponyville. Located on the edge of town, it was extensive enough to require a vast chunk of farmland. Fluttershy's home was very close to the Apple’s abode so I could kill two birds with one stone by traveling in that direction. Apple Bloom was probably home. I could drop in and say hello if I wanted.  Before you condemn her to eternal imprisonment? How noble... Yeah, that didn't sound like such a good idea. It was easier to ask for forgiveness after the fact than to get permission before. She'd appreciate it once it was done They all will. "LOOK OUT BELOW!" The ethereal yell was nothing but a figment of my imagination, yet it still rocked me to my core.  ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Past me didn't even look up as she caught Rainbow Dash in a telekinetic spell, the cyan pegasus inches from colliding with her head.  "Eh heh heh, hey, Twilight. What's up?" she laughed motionlessly, trapped inside the magical field.  "Are you trying to kill me, Rainbow Dash?" I replied calmly, still walking to  Applejack's farm without acknowledging the "distinguished" Captain of the Wonderbolts.  "No way! You know as well as I do that's not possible!" "Then you must be trying to kill yourself." She wasn't a spring chicken anymore, and crashing at speeds that great would at the very least end up in a lengthy hospital stay. Even so, she was still fit and lean, all the flying had kept her in great condition.  "Nah, I'm gonna live forever," she smiled arrogantly.  "Riiiiight." Always so brazen.   "Maybe I just like crashing into you, Your Highness?" she giggled.  "Wha-" I dropped my magic for a split second, surprised by her comment. She landed on her hooves with an entertained guffaw. "Rainbow are you o-" the orange earth pony galloped our way until she noticed us standing safely. "Oh, howdy there, Twilight! What're you doin' round these parts?"  "Just a friendly visit. I haven't seen you around the castle in a while Aj." The past me hugged Applejack, making me quite envious of myself.  "Well golly, a personal visit from the Princess of Equestria. What an honor." The sincerity in her voice along with a kind smile quelled the notion that she might be acting sarcastic. "It's great to see you, Twi." "You too, Applejack." Aj was still an unstoppable machine. Finely toned and muscled, she'd never stopped bucking her fields for longer than a week and her body showed it. Although wrinkles were beginning to form on her face, her attractive features still shined through.  "Geez you two, get a room," Rainbow cackled as she jumped into the air, circling in the sky around us. Applejack was not amused by our friend's joke.  "Sorry, Twi, this one," she pointed an accusatory hoof at the snickering pegasus, "was supposed to be helping me with my chores. Big Macintosh is feeling a little under the weather today, but instead I ended up helping her practice her stunts." "Still falling for that one, Applejack?" I'd covered my giggle with a hoof.  "Shhhh, don't give away my secrets, Twilight," Rainbow only half joked. Applejack's complexion began to rival the delicious looking red apples that were growing on her family's trees. "I know all about your tricks, Rainbow Dash! You're not as clever as you think!" she huffed, Rainbow just laughing harder in response.  "How is Apple Bloom doing, Aj?" I'd tried to change the subject so that the farm pony could calm down a little.  "Oh, she's fine. She ain't in right now though. She's with Sweetie Belle," she thought about it for a second, "wherever that might be." "Yeah, squirt is with them too. I think they're in Manehatten for Sweetie's next show," Rainbow filled in the blanks for me and Applejack.  "That's nice. So she's on vacation?" I asked.  "Pretty much. She's been pushing herself hard round here." Applejack gazed over the farm, a look of adoration and pride painting her tired expression. "It's a lot of work. Always has been."  "When are you going to take a break?" I asked cautiously. She'd always had trouble stepping away from anything, especially something she felt she was personally responsible for. Three ponies managing an entire business like them should've been impossible, but somehow they'd managed after Granny Smith's passing. "It's been a while, Aj." "I keep telling her the same thing." Rainbow had grabbed a cloud and was lounging on it, staring up at the sky.  "Not any time soon, I'm afraid. Mac's getting old and I ain't gonna dump all this work on his elderly shoulders," her tone wasn't exactly defensive, but there was some annoyance in it.  "He's not the only one," Rainbow said casually.  "Hey! I-" "She's not wrong, Applejack." Despite her lack of tact, I agreed with the lazy pegasus. "I could probably allocate some funds from the treasury to hire some help around here. The Apples have earned it after all these years of service to Equestria." "Hey! I've been asking for bits for ages!" Rainbow wasn't relaxing anymore. She looked down at me with a hurt glare. Applejack was silent, face downcast, deep in thought at my offer. "Rainbow, like I asked you, what do you need it for?" I glared right back at my offended friend. "I told you, pyrotechnics and enhancements for our shows!" she said as if it was an obvious and reasonable request to make.  "Aren't you supposed to be training the Wonderbolts right now?" I barked, frustrated that she could be so oblivious to her own best friend's woes. "I got Thunderlane to do it!" She refused to back down. I groaned, slapping my own forehead with a hoof. The captain of my elite flying force, mares and gentlecolts.  "I think this!" I jerked my head in Applejack's direction. "Is a little more important right now, Rainbow!" She looked down at me, then at Applejack, then back at me. After a silent 'oh' came to her lips she spoke.  "Fair enough," she laid back down as she finally came to the realization that there was a time and a place for all things.  "Thanks, Twi. I really appreciate it, honest I do, but... we Apples have always taken care of ourselves and our own. Y'all're right, I am getting along in years, I ain't gonna deny that, but like Granny Smith, and my mom and dad, I'll tend this farm with my family 'til I can't do it no more." The simple grin on her face told me it was the honest and unchangeable truth. "We'll get through this, same as we always have, with a little gumption and a whole lotta grit." I couldn't argue with her so I did the only thing that came to mind, I laughed.  "I'm here, Applejack. If you need anything, if it's in my power." At the time I hadn't really thought about why I'd said that, but now, watching all of this unfold in front of myself, I knew what I meant without explicitly stating it and it hurt. "I'll always be right here," I placed a hoof on her shoulder.  "I know, Twi. You always have been for me. Shoot, for my whole family, and I love you for it, sugarcube," she patted my hoof. "Don't worry about it too much, Twi, it'll all work out in the end. Everything always does."  "Yeah, you're way too neurotic, Twilight," Rainbow laughed as she looked down at us. Applejack and I just stared back at her in wonder. "What? I know words. I'M NOT DUMB!" she got to her hooves, offended by the two of us.  "Aaaanyway, how about we head inside and grab some grub? It'll give you two a chance to cheer up Mac too," Applejack suggested.  "That sounds great," I smiled.  "I can eat," Rainbow agreed as well. As I watched the three of us continue to Aj's home I felt... happy. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Back in the present, I stood a distance away from the Acres. I'd come far enough. Even from where I was standing I could smell the sweet scent of fresh apple pie. "Look out below," I whispered to myself with a somber smile before turning to travel to my next daydream. It wasn't a long walk to Fluttershy's cottage. The now overgrown building was built on the edge of the Everfree Forest and as such would never be inhabited again. Fluttershy had been more brave than my most loyal guards. It took unshakeable courage to live a life the way she had, completely and utterly devoted to others while on the brink of danger at all times. The quaint cottage was being overrun by the elements, moss and plants covering most of the exterior. Judging from the noises coming from the interior, various animals had made the cottage their home after Fluttershy's passing. If she could see it now, I knew that would make her happy.  "Finally, somepony's speaking some sense around here!" The shout that came from within was most definitely not Fluttershy. The front door burst open, a strong wind sucking me into the cottage. I could not resist the storm, but I instinctively lifted a hoof to shield my face. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ "She won't even talk about it with me anymore, Twilight!" The draconequus stood between Fluttershy and the younger me. My pegasus friend was sitting quietly on her couch while my other self was sitting on a recliner across from her. A coffee table was situated between us with snacks and drinks sprinkled on it. Discord was beside himself. I'd brought up mortality again and he was adamantly on my side when it came to Fluttershy.  "I just think I should be happy and thankful for what I have," she took a sip of her tea. "Why should I ask for any more than that?" She was as serene as if she were being pampered at the spa with Rarity. Discord pointed his clawed finger at his... I wasn't sure, even in the present day what they were to each other. Marefriend? Wife? I'd rather not try to figure it out. "SEE! She won't listen to a word I say." He was boisterous and sounded angry, but the desperation in his eyes was louder than his voice could ever possibly be.  "Maybe we should all calm down," I played at diplomacy, my royal tendencies taking charge of my mind at the time. While I was ecstatic at the prospect of finally having an ally in the fight to save them, it came with the caveat of that ally being chaos given physical form. I was no longer one hundred percent sure if I was in the right anymore.  "I am calm," Fluttershy smiled, as cool as a cucumber, which only seemed to fuel Discord's frustration.  "You know what," he sighed, covering his face with a claw. "I'm gonna step outside for some fresh air," he pinched the bridge of his nose, overwhelmed by Fluttershy's indifference. With a quick snap of his fingers and flourish of chaos magic he disappeared from the room.   "I hope he's not mad at m-" an obnoxiously loud record scratch cut Fluttershy off and froze the scene that was playing out in front of me.  "Wait just one second," Discord's booming voice came from everywhere and nowhere at once. "What do we have here?" With another explosion of chaotic magic the draconequus was before me, an intensely curious look on his face. "Now this is peculiar. Which Twilight Sparkle might you be?" He held an oversized magnifying glass toward... me? Not younger me, but current me.  ME, me. My brain did a backflip.  "Discoooord?" I lifted a brow, realizing that my mouth was not sealed shut during this hallucination. "What's going on?"  "I'm not sure what you mean, Your Highness," he floated around, examining me extensively. "You sure have grown. What's with the clothes? Are you too royal," he quoted with his fingers, "for the commoners now?"  "Are you the one who's been showing me these visions? This isn't a game, Discord." I tried to channel my mana but failed. It would all make sense if he'd been the one doing this. To keep me powerless would be effortless for the Lord of Chaos. He only cackled in response before snapping his fingers and disappearing.  "My dear, I have no idea what you're talking about. However," when he reappeared he was a giant, dwarfing my size by holding me inside of his clawed palm. He lifted me to one of his wide eyes. "Something's off about you. You're not the Twilight I know... yet..." "When did you come back?" I didn't move. This was a game for the draconequus. One that we'd played way too many times before. One that I won't lose this time.  "Back?" He moved his claw away, though I stayed suspended in midair. He stroked the hair on his chin, confusion clouding his face. "Whatever do you mean? I never left."  "You've been gone for years! Running away like a coward back to the chaos realm after-" My anger was getting the better of me and he just stared back flatly. Maybe I wouldn't be able to win.  "Hm?" He shrunk back down to his normal size. His response made my anger explode. He was really good at pressing all my wrong buttons. "Fluttershy is dead, Discord!" I could only attack with words so I used my most potent weapon. His expression didn't change at all as he pulled a cord next to himself. It unrolled into a window displaying the inside of Fluttershy's cottage, the scene I had been watching moments ago. "Fluttershy is right there," he pointed at her with a thumb.  "That's not-" I grabbed my head with a hoof. "This doesn't make sense," I glared at him, knowing exactly what he was going to say. He just grinned back before laughing maniacally. "I see what's going on here," he howled with laughter that felt like it was at my expense. "This is hilarious!" "Tell me!" I demanded, but there was nothing behind it to intimidate him with. "That wouldn't be very fun, now would it?" he patted me on the head condescendingly. I could feel my cheeks heat up at the combination of rage and embarrassment. "Oh, Twilight, don't be so cross. For all those brains of yours you sure do wrestle with such trivial problems."  "If you're not going to help me then leave me alone!" I hissed through gritted teeth.  "Yes, yes, fine. Don't be such a drama queen," he turned toward the scene of Fluttershy's cottage. He sighed deeply, something I didn't expect. He looked... sad?  "I'm going to miss her," he stroked the image of the yellow pegasus. "I can stop it... WE can stop it," I sat down next to him. If Discord was on my side there'd be no way to stop the two of us.  "She doesn't want that," he dropped his arm. "I'd never force her to do something she didn't want," he smiled weakly. "Who knows, maybe we'll bump into each other again... somewhere. After all, chaos isn't bound by mundane things like death." We were quiet for a long time before he turned to speak to me. "I'm sorry for interrupting. I'll leave you be." As he floated away from me he lifted his claw about to snap. "Twilight?" "What is it, Discord?" I stared at his back.  "Thank you... for showing me the correct way... for not giving up on a friend." Finding my voice was almost impossible after he'd said that.  "You're... you're welcome," was all I could manage to get out.  "And," this was where he would pull his prank or the joke came out, "be careful." My head tilted involuntarily. "What you've let inside is not to be trifled with." Before I could question him he snapped his fingers and I was violently sucked back into Fluttershy's cottage.  "Forgive me, Fluttershy, Twilight. I was out of line," Discord spoke to past me.  "That's okay, Discord. You don't have to apologize," Fluttershy flew up next to him to give him a hug.  "It's no problem, Discord," past me offered him a kind smile. The draconequus lifted his head to me, present me, and winked, a snaggletoothed grin on his face. Past me looked in my direction, confused, but she had no clue I was there. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ I was in front of the cottage again, no sign any of the past couple minutes had actually happened. I took a deep breath, a kaleidoscope of pink and yellow butterflies emerging from within the building and flying high into the sky. For just a second I thought I saw one of the butterflies look at me, its facial features those of a certain grinning draconequus. I shook my head and chuckled to myself.  There was just one more visit left. One place, one thing left that I had to face. Ponyville was like a ghost town, even windows now void of any life. The tall tree was a bit bigger than mine had been, better to hold more books. More books is always better. I could've enchanted the interior like my old library but, sometimes magic isn't the right answer. My heart pounded as I walked up to the reconstituted tree, a cold sweat coming over me. This was the last place that she'd stayed at. The last place she'd... as I reached a hoof to push the door open I paused. No strange magic, no trippy hallucinations, nothing. With a trembling breath I pushed the door open. It was dark inside, not pitch black by any means, but the slivers of daylight that came from outside weren't doing much for my visibility. I flared my magic, shooting a small orb of light above the room. With the interior brightly illuminated, It was easy to see just how clean it was, almost as if it never had occupants. Radiant had always been obsessed with cleanliness. It took me way too long to convince her she didn't need to wash her own dishes in the castle. There'd be nothing down here for me to see. It would all more likely than not be... I looked at the stairs leading to the second floor... leading to her room. I slowly walked, the path before me one I did not want to trod. I stepped carefully, the first stair conquered.  "I didn't think you'd come..." My body froze, my blood running cold at the familiar, yet impossible voice.  "D-Discord?" I breathed out, my voice cracking. I sounded more like a frightened filly than a princess of Equestria. I was too afraid to turn around, let alone move.  "No," she replied. I refused to do anything, to face my past, plastered in place, stuck on the first step to resolution. "You won't face me?" She didn't move either, or if she did, she was being completely silent. I shook my head. I can't. She sighed. "Maybe this will help." The voice changed, still familiar, still impossible, but no longer instilling fear inside of me. "Is this better?" I turned my head coming face to face with myself from the past. Younger me. Unicorn me. Had I been such a small pony then? She didn't smile, she didn't even react, she simply looked weary.  "What is-"  "What are you doing here?" she cut me off. She wasn't frustrated or angry, she just seemed to want to know.  "I was going to her-" "Then I can change back?" She knew me, knew what I was going to say.  "NO! PLEASE!" I jumped off the stairs, landing in front of the apparition.  "So you came to look at some trinkets?" Her expression did not change nor her tone.  "I-" "Why are you here, Twilight?" I didn't know how to answer that. What do I want? What did I hope to accomplish by coming here?  "I'm scared." My answer didn't sway her. She simply stared. "Because," I had to tell myself the truth. I wanted one thing more than anything else and I didn't want that thing at all. I took a deep breath. "Because I want to see her... one last time."  "Finally being honest with yourself," the younger me smiled. As my eyes opened after blinking, the pony that stood before me was both a dream come true and my worst nightmare.  "R-Radiant..." I couldn't move, couldn't say anything more. I didn't know what kind of spell was causing this, but I was endlessly grateful and horrendously afraid. Her soft sky blue eyes were shy, as always. The thick black rimmed glasses that were on her muzzle made her look so cute. Her light blue, almost white coat was flawless. Her curly mane fell below her shoulders, the maroon and bronze locks bouncy. The wide open book with stars flying from its pages that was her cutie mark was exactly as I remembered it. It looked exactly like her, and yet I knew it wasn't. It can't be. She was gone. I'd already accepted that horrible reality. "What... are you?"  "I'm you," she looked up thinking for a second. "I guess a better way to put it would be, I'm your conscience."    "My conscience?" In spite of being a fake I still yearned to go to her, to hold her, but I controlled that urge. There wasn't a way to embrace a ghost anyway. "Yes, can't you tell?" she looked confused. "Have you really lost so much of yourself?" "Shouldn't you know?" I asked vindictively.  "I do, but it can be helpful for you to admit the truth... well it should be, at least." Was I ever this bubbly? How can my conscience be?  "Why do you look like my Radiant?"  "You need this," she shrugged. It's why you're here. You said so yourself." I did. I needed to overcome this, to put it in the past. I couldn't do something so... permanent based on a temporary feeling. If I was going to save the world then it had to be for the right reasons, not because my morals were compromised by ephemeral feelings.  "I miss her." It was the truth and I wanted to say it, but stating it felt pointless. I wasn't talking to anypony, after all.  "You know she misses you too." "She's gone."  "That doesn't mea-" "YES IT DOES!" I screamed. She didn't budge, only looking sad.  "You don't really believe that... do you?" She looked and sounded like she was going to start crying at any moment. For some reason that possibility hurt me. I sighed long and deep.  "I don't... I don't know..." my gaze fell. She brightened up at my lack of surety.  "Listen, Twilight," I looked up at my former student. "No matter what you choose to do, which choices you make going forward, there's only one thing you have to remember." I knew what was coming. I'd always known. It was why I was doing all of this. Why I was putting Spike through so much. Why I had thrown away the most precious relationship I'd ever had. "You are loved. Your family, your friends, they will always love you." I hung my head in shame. "Never forget that."  "I... I know..." When I raised my head again she was gone.  It is time That's why I'm doing all of this. Time was up. The hour had passed. It was time. I looked back at the stairs, back at the trial that was set before me. The test I needed to pass. Instead, I left the library. I walked to the center of town. There was no life on the streets. It was deathly silent. As I channeled the dark magic into my horn, the once strange chimes had become comforting, almost lovely as I used it. My eyes began to glow as I levitated into the air. I will save them. I'd lost so many. I refused to let any more go. The sphere shot outward in every direction overtaking everything. If only for a second, I could feel them all, could hear them. Each soul, each voice different than the last. Their joy. Their panic. Their hopes. Their pain. Their love. Their fear. So many feelings. So much life. And then there was only me, the silence deafening. As I landed back on the ground, the jet black barrier surrounding the town, I felt something stronger than ever before. I could see them. My friends. My family. Radiant. They'd gotten through. For the first time since I started this whole ordeal, I was no longer certain it was the right thing to do.  ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ Dear Princess Twilight, Princess you were right!  Tamby, uhm that is to say, Tambourine, well, she told me to call her Tamby when we first met, a-anyway, Tamby really is my friend! I built up the courage to ask her about it, (I know that's super weird, please don't judge me!) and she said if I didn't realize she was my friend by now I was being a silly filly. I made a friend! Princess Twilight, I made a friend! And I didn't even know I had! Not only that Princess, but another colt came by the library and was being really friendly too! I think his name was Gabe or Game? Maybe he'd like to be friends with Tamby and I? What would be the most generous thing I could do? I could try and throw a party, but I've never done something like that before. What do you think, Princess? When are you going to come visit? Missing you. Your most devoted student, Radiant