//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 // Story: Asterix in Equestria // by 23LEvans //------------------------------// “Oh very well done ” Vitalstatistix said sarcastically, to the mane 6, Asterix and Obelix “he may be on the right notes now but his brain’s out of tune''. It was true, it turned out Cacofinix had lost his memory completely, Obelix had said he could cure Caofinix by hitting him with a Menhir again but Asterix wasn’t having it.  “The last time you hit someone over the head, our Druid lost his memory and we almost got conquered by the Romans,” Asterix had told his friend. So they had all taken him to the hospital wing of canterlot to be examined, unfortunately, Cacofinix had drunk his Gord of magic potion. So when they got to canterlot he immediately thumped a roman horse out of his horseshoes and into the air along with its rider and thus a new game had begun, when they had tried to restrain him he had run off and now there were orders to restrain him.  A minute later, Cacofinix burst into song, only this time to everyone's amazement, it was in tune, there was no rain and it was a famous Gaulish sea shanty. “🎵Farewell and adieu to you good roman soldiers. Farewell and adieu to you soldiers of rome🎵” Though it wasn’t quite farewell and adieu as the Romans, their mounts and any canterlot guards who tried to help, hit the ceiling then came back down, armor clanging and very muchly battered and bruised. “We best get him to our druid, he can cure him, heck he cured himself last time” Asterix said. “First you’ll need to catch him,” Applejack said. She had a black eye from when she herself had tried to catch the bird and tie him up with her rope. She also had a hoof in a sling. “Easier said than done” muttered a royal guard to a roman, “i feel for you deeply my friend” replied the roman. Then there was a blur of motion and Rainbow dash reappeared, “sorry bout that guys” she said, “i was blown all the way to cloudsdale. So what did I miss”. “We’re facing the music that’s what” said a royal guard who was in a wheelchair, “we Crash-endo the ceiling” informed another. Asterix informed her of what was happening, “yesh he really has water on the brain now” she said, “but how did he lose his memory?” CRASH Obelix brought his menhir down onto her, “like that” he explained. “OBELIX!” Asterix bellowed in fury, jumping up and down on the spot “DO YOU NEVER LEARN YOUR LESSON, NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH TWO MEMORY LOSES!” For more information on this please read Asterix and the big fight. Luckily Rainbow dash head was built like a crash helmet so she just had more stars and had her memory intact, “relax i can take a beating” she reassured them feeling very dizzy. “Right” Asterix said, getting a grip, “let's go get our bard, Obelix you stay here…” “What?” Obelix said, “but i want to join in”  “No Obelix you’ve done enough already” Asterix told him. “It’s not fair” Obelix complained, as he went and sulked in a corner “it’s not fair, I missed out on all the fun”. “Right, let's go find that hard,” Asterix told Mane 6. “Good luck my little pony's,” Celestia said. “Cheerio lad and lasses” Vitalstatistix said. “The die is caste” Oleginius quotes And with that the lot of them made their way through the castle following the trail of thrashed up guards and romans and their mounts. Meanwhile Obelix sat sulking with his Dogmatix nuzzling him reassuringly. “It’s not fair,” he said, “it just isn’t fair.” But he pulled himself together, “i started this mess and so i’ll fix it” he thought to himself, “now how do i get Cacofonix memory back?” he wondered, then he remembered the big fight and remembered how he had got Getafix memory back, “i just need to hit him over the head again” Obelix realized. Of course this was not what really happened but if you want to find out go read Asterix and the Big fight. But as of now he raced out of the room carrying his menhir. “Where's he off to buy mercury?” Thisisserious wondered seeing him go. Meanwhile “Halt” said a royal guard pointing his spear at Cacofonix “No entryyyyyyyy!” he finished as he went up into the from Cacofinix swinging his fist up, “Farewell good roman soldier” he said giggling happily as he entered a room. “Hmm” Cacofinix wondered as he spotted a door, “wonder what's in here” and he pressed his finger against the door. CRASH The door caved in and inside was a small chest, Cacofinix broke the lock with ease and opened it. “Oh how lovely” Cacofinix said upon spotting large red diamond shaped gem in a alicorn shaped necklace, “i think i’m going to keep this” and he put it around his neck and he felt electrified, his hair stood on end, his mustache all fuzzed up.  “WOAH” Cacofinix said so overcharged he 10 feet in jumping through the ceiling to the floor above. “EEK” Screamed a royal guard indignantly before he was sent right out of his armor with a swing of Cacofinix fist, “i feel fantastic!” Cacofinix triumphantly bellowed. Meanwhile The Mane 6 and asterix followed the path of battered Romans and Royal guards, “he’s heading for the vault” Spike noticed. “What exactly is in this Vault?” Asterix asked, concerned “oh nothing we should be concerned about…” Twilight began. “Twilight” Rainbow said, “don’t jinx it” They arrived at the vault to find the door crashed open, and the vault itself empty. “I was afraid of this” Asterix said, “Cacofonix has his hands on whatever was in the vault. And at the moment those hands are juiced up with magic potion, who knows what the effects will be” “Say wasn’t this the vault that had the Elements inside a while back?” Applejack said. “Oh so that’s why it looked familiar” Pinkie pie said, slapping her own forehead, “silly me, I'm terrible at guessing games”. Everyone ignored her, “and last i checked the Alicorn Amulet was inside” Twilight said in mounting horror. “The same amulet that Trixie used to take over ponyville back in season 3?” Pinkie asked. “Season what now” Asterix asked baffled “don’t mind that darling” Rarity advised “and yes pinkie dear it was”. “B-b-but-but ' Twilight stammered, “how did he even break down the door, that door was enchanted with the most powerful alicorn magic of me, the sisters and Cadence for extra security. How did Cacofonix break it so easily?” “The magic potion i beat” Asterix said, “it makes anyone who drinks it superhuman for a limited period of time.” “But potions aren’t even real magic, they're artificial.” Twilight protested, “I like your choice of words,” the royal guard that Cacofonix had thrashed muttered sarcastically. “Twilight let's just stop questioning it now, we have more important things” Spike pointed out. “Spikes right” Fluttershy said pointing up, to a large whole in the ceiling, “i think he might have gone up there” “What does this Alicorn amulet do?” Asterix asked, “it enhances any magic traits of anyone with magic” Twilight explained. “Oh dear” said Adterix growing even more concerned, “that means Cacofinix is going to be stronger now with the Magic potion and that Alicorn Amulet” Back up with Obelix Obelix was now on the same level as Cacofonix, his plan had been to fire his Menhir from above. But when Dogmatix caught a scent, Obelix knew how smart his dog was so thought he had found Cacofinix scent, “that's right Dogmatix seek” Obelix thought. “Hey Fatty” called a voice as he rounded a corner and found Cacofonix, rearing his fists in front of him and spoiling for a fight. “got him” Obelix thought, “i am not fat” Obelix Declared as he threw the Menhir at the bard, but the bard leap frogged over the Menhir and ran up and delivered a great punch to Obelix Stomach. “No fair!” Obelix wheezed the punch sent him across the hall and he landed with an almighty CRASH!.  Not far away “What was that?” Rainbow dash wondered as she and her friends made their way upstairs nearing the top. “Cacofinix, I'd bet on my-MENHIR!” Asterix exclaimed as he jumped to the ground and a large Menhir sailed over head and collided with Rainbow dash sending both into the wall. “Why me?” Rainbow asked groggily as she crawled out of the hole in the wall and promptly collapsed unconscious. There was a long silence as everyone stared  “Hey you won your bet” Pinkie said brightly pointing, there down the hall was Cacofinix picking Obelix up by his arm, swinging him overhead and slamming him down on the ground before repeating the action. “Holy bucking hay loads!” Applejack said, “he’s actually throwing around Obelix like he’s a sake of potato chips” “This means he’s practically unstoppable now” Twilight said, beginning to stress, “how do we beat him now?” They all watched and worried as Obelix tried and failed to bash Cacofonix. “The magic potion will take hours to wear off” Asterix said, then he had a brainwave. “I’ve got it” he exclaimed slamming his fist into his palm “What?” the girls asked urgently. Asterix gave them a sly look, “just watch and learn ladies. Watch and learn” Cacofinix was once again lifting Obelix overhead by his arm and slamming him down. “Well Caconifx, I must admit I have never seen anyone fight quite like this” Asterix said. “Why it is nothing my fellow Gaul” Cacofinix said, “i am just using his own strength and width against him” “So the bigger he is…” Asterix began. “The better for you” Cacofinix finished as he finally released Obelix and he sailed through the air and crashed into a statue of some famous pony or other and turned it into a rumble, and he lay there stunned. “You know…” Asterix said, thoughtfully, “I once had a dream about this. Me and my friend over there” he pointed to the still recovering Obelix, “were sent to do twelve tasks. At the end of it, we were finally masters of rome. But that’s beside the point. The 3rd task was to defeat a german wrestler who was fighting quite like you” “Really?” Cacofinix asked. “Yes and I wanted to see if it was a real fighting style. Can you show me how it’s done?” Asterix asked. “But of course my good fellow,” Cacofinix said, unaware of the fact that Asterix had been vague about how he had defeated the German wrestler. “First…” Cacofinix began and stretched out his arm, “you grab my arm” Asterix did so, “and since we are doing this from stand still, you are going to have to put your foot on my stomach. Asterix did so, “this is actually starting to look familiar” Asterix said, trying to hoist Cacofonix up, though due to the height difference it was a little difficult, “hang on'' and with one final heave he flipped Cacofinix overhead and onto the ground, “that’s it!” Cacofinix said as Asterix repeated the action again and again gaining more and more momentum with each swing. *BIFF* *BONG* *BING* *BAFF* *BOFF* Finally Asterix stopped letting go of a slightly dazed Cacofonix, “nostalgic much?” Cacofinix cracked dizzily, “yup and this belongs to the ponies” Asterix said, taking the Alicorn amulet from around Cacofinix neck and throwing it to the ponies. Spike caught it. “Hey, give that back!” Cacofonix exclaimed, trying to make a grab for it, when… *CRASH* A large menhir landed on top of him for the second time, narrowly missing Asterix. Everyone stared at the Menhir. “🤬👎&#☠️⚡️!” Asterix yelled in Gaulish swear words which I am not allowed to translate, “OBELIX!”