//------------------------------// // Chapter 9: Awkward Situations // Story: A Zoologist Dream // by Sonson-Sensei //------------------------------// Chapter 9: Awkward Situations Chris yawned, stretched out his sore muscles and wrenched the blanket from his body. He admitted, last night's sleep wasn’t the most pleasant he’d ever had. Even so, he was thankful that Fluttershy was kind enough to lend him her couch, but he’d be lying if he said that the thing was even remotely comfortable. Standing up and cracking his back, Chris folded the blanket he’d used and placed it on the couch. Judging by the hue of the sunlight creeping in through a nearby window, he wagered it was around seven AM, maybe a little earlier. Deciding to take in a bit of fresh air, Chris tiptoed towards the door as quietly as he could, in the hope of not disturbing Fluttershy, or any of her pets. He had almost succeeded too, however, a small lamp table had other plans and he stubbed his unprotected toe against it. “God damn it!” Chris hissed through gritted teeth, now hopping back and forth while clutching his throbbing toe. He stared daggers at the table, wanting nothing more than to put it through a wood chipper. To his surprise, Chris hadn’t heard any sounds indicating that somepony had woken up from the noise, and he swiftly made his way towards the door. He frowned when the door gave a loud squeal, as he opened it. Sighing to himself, he stepped out into the cool morning air and walked a little distance into Fluttershy’s yard. As expected, the birds were already up, merrily chirping and perching outside of the homes that Fluttershy had, more than likely, made for them. Chris beamed at the scene; the cottage really did have a rather tranquil appearance. Admittedly, he never really admired such things, but he figured it wouldn’t hurt to start looking for the silver lining, if returning home wasn’t necessarily in the cards. With a content smile on his face, Chris turned around, and stepped on something that gave a soft crunch. Looking down at his foot, he realized it was a newspaper. He quirked his eyebrow, as he reached down to retrieve it. He was curious as to what kind of news a civilization of equines indulged in. Chris guessed there probably wasn’t any rampant crime to report on, or missing children cases. But perhaps they at least had sports, or something worth while to read about. Pulling off the rubber band that held the paper together, he opened it up. Directly on the front of the page in large bold letters read, “Unscheduled summit to be held in Canterlot. Ambassadors arriving today!” Chris scrunched his nose at the news. He couldn’t be certain, but this was obviously big and, more importantly, unexpected news for the Equestrian populace. He sighed, as his fears were becoming realized. Chris puzzled on if Keon had indeed been found or at least turned himself in to the higher ups, and now the world was deciding on his fate. What would they do with him, he wondered? If the roles were reversed, what would humans do with a species from another dimension? Chris could only draw blanks with that hypothetical scenario. ET was pretty close, but he couldn’t remember a damn thing about the movie. Moreover, every other alien movie usually resulted in the humans and the aliens trying to rip each others throats out, over who gets earth. Shaking his head, he looked to the next largest column. There was a picture of the night sky, with the headline, “Spectacular showing in the night sky.” “I guess it really was something special,” Chris reasoned, as he skimmed over another article, something about a hoofball team and an upcoming championship. Having his fill of the paper, Chris made to head back inside Fluttershy’s cottage, however, the sound of running water caught his attention. Following the sound a short distance to the side of Fluttershy’s home, Chris came across a rather old looking, pale brown pony, wearing an aged, worn hat, blissfully watering a small patch of petunias. Chris looked at the poor plants being watered without mercy before speaking. “Hey, Chief, don’t you think those flowers have had enough to drink?” The old stallion looked up from his work towards Chris and simply stared at him for a moment. He chuckled. “And which one of us here is the gardener?” Chris stared at the flowers then back at the pony and shrugged. “Fine, I’ll leave you to it then.” “Just a minute, Sonny.” The old pony said, now eyeing Chris suspiciously. “You’re a rather funny looking feller, what are yah doing around here anyway?” “Oh…about that, well, the pegasus that lives here, Fluttershy,” Chris said while jabbing his thumb at the cottage, “she took me in for the night.” “Hehe, that sounds like Fluttershy,” the old pony croaked. “Sweetest little thing, ain’t she? Always looking after some wayward critter.” “You’ve got the wrong idea, I’m not one of her animal friends,” Chris said. The old pony was quiet, as he scrutinized Chris with a wary eye. “Now that yah mention it, yah have been talking this whole time. Yah ain’t one of them minotaurs, are yah? I remember her last run in with one,” the old pony said with a shudder. Chris shook his head. “Can’t say I know what a minotaur looks like here, but if they’re anything like we depict them in lore, then I don’t know how you could confuse me with one.” “Forgive the misgivings of an old pony. When yah get to be as old as me, the mind is the first thing to go,” the old pony joked, letting out a throaty laugh. “You don’t say?” Chris quipped, realizing the petunias had been given their own personal pool by this point. “Well, it’s nice that Fluttershy finally found some male company. Even if it does stand on two hooves and is missing all its fur,” the old pony said with a toothy grin. “You mean to tell me a nice pony like Fluttershy has trouble roping a stallion?” Chris asked with an incredulous expression. “Honestly, I was afraid that her boy…er coltfriend would show up in the middle of the night and beat me stupid after he found me sleeping on her couch.” The old pony let out another hoarse laugh. “That’s a good one, Sonny. I’ve never seen that mare look at a stallion, let alone have a go at one.” “I do hear that she’s shy and all, even though she’s been pretty open since I’ve met her, go figure.” Chris finished speaking just as he heard his name being called, and quite frantically. “Chris, Chris!” Fluttershy’s voice rang with a twinge of panic laced in its tone. “Where did you get to?” “I’m over here!” Chris responded. Fluttershy came trotting to Chris’s side immediately, letting out a sigh in relief. “Oh, thank goodness. I thought something might have happened to you.” “Sorry about that, I just came out for some fresh air, and ended up talking to this good sir,” Chris said with a nod in the old pony’s direction. “Oh… Mr. Greenhooves, good morning,” Fluttershy said with a bright smile, before noticing that her flowers were receiving a life-threatening amount of water. “Mr. Greenhooves, I thought we talked about this,” she said with a frown. Mr. Greenhooves hastily made to turn off the hose. “Sorry about that, sometimes I forget myself.” “Well, no harm done…sorta,” Fluttershy said, before returning her attention back to Chris. “Um…Chris, I have to make a quick trip into Ponyville, to pick up some things for breakfast. Will you be okay while I’m gone?” “I’m a big boy; I tie my own shoes and everything. I think I’ll be fine on my own for a little while,” Chris joked lightheartedly. “…Well, okay then,” Fluttershy said, still displaying an unsure expression on her face. “Is there anything you’ll need before I leave?” she added. “I’d really like to wash up?” Chris said, while sniffing his ripe pits. “Do you have a shower or something, if not; I could ask Mr. Greenhooves here to hose me down?” “Oh...I’m so sorry, I never did give you a proper tour of my home,” Fluttershy said, letting her ears fall to the side of her head. “…Follow me and I’ll show you to the bathroom…if you want to, that is.” Chris shook his head at Fluttershy’s overapologetic nature. He found it hard to believe that something that could think on its own could be so innocent. He didn't think that she would last a day on earth with that type of attitude. People with similar personalities were commonly stepped on and generally taken advantage of. However, he doubted that her being timid was much of a hindrance here, aside from finding a coltfriend apparently. Not being a carnivorous species, Chris figured that the population probably had few altercations with one another, nor a desire to prove themselves better than the next pony. The only nonrecreational competition ponies should reasonably have would be in the pursuit of mates. This line of thought only brought Chris more questions. He admitted that the ponies were strangely similar to humans, almost as if they were influenced by them. If he were to assume that they built their families in a similar fashion as humans, then there would probably be a good deal of single mares, if the meeting of seven females and only one stallion was any evidence of their male to female ratio. Moreover, Chris reasoned his assumptions were only wild speculation. Although humanlike, the ponies could very well have families similar to their more polygamy accepting, feral counterparts. If this was the case their families would be constructed as some modernized form of a herd. This would rectify any need for conflict among the mares, at least to some degree. Chris suddenly found himself being dragged out of his musings by Fluttershy’s voice. “Chris…are you…okay?” she asked, concern clear in her voice and in her large, emerald eyes. “You’re just kind of staring into space.” “Oh…sorry, just got lost in thought. What were we doing again?” Chris said, now scratching the top of his head. “You wanted to um…bathe, remember?” Fluttershy said, as she pointed a hoof towards her home. “And I thought I was scatterbrained,” Greenhooves piped in just as he finished rolling up the water hose. “Hardy har-har,” Chris responded to the old stallion. “Hehe,” Greenhooves chuckled. “Well, nice meeting yah, Chris, have a good day, Fluttershy,” Greenhooves said as he put a stalk of wheat between his teeth and trotted off while whistling a tune, one similar to zip-a-dee-doo-dah. “Well, he was an interesting enough guy,” Chris said as Greenhooves disappeared from view. “Oh, and I almost forgot to show you this,” he added while unrolling the newspaper and showing the front page to Fluttershy as they walked. Fluttershy looked over the page in silence, contemplating the news. After a moment, she spoke. “I think your suspicions were right,” she said in thoughtful manner. “I’ve never heard of a summit being called so suddenly, they’re usually scheduled every three years.” “So, this is out of the blue then?” Chris asked as he placed his thumb and index finger under his chin in a thinking pose. “…Then have you decided what you will do?” Fluttershy asked curiously. “…I’d be willing to take you to Canterlot, and the other girls would probably come along too…if you want to go I mean.” “Yeah, that sounds like a plan,” Chris said with a shrug. “I guess we could discuss it once the other girls get here.” Fluttershy nodded her agreement, as she opened the door to her cottage and ushered Chris inside. She led Chris up some winding steps that led to a small hallway with three doors. The furthest door was slightly ajar, and he could make out a bed. ‘More human like traits,’ he mused, ‘apparently they like the comfort of beds as well.’ Fluttershy had at that moment trotted to the closest door and bit down on the knob and opened it up, revealing that it was a closet. Chris could only wonder why ponies would purposely inconvenience themselves with something obviously crafted for hands. Sure, the unicorns could work their way around it, but for the pegasi and normal ponies it made no sense to create, or better yet, incorporate them into everyday life. He’d have to ask about that at some point, along with a million other questions he had. When Fluttershy emerged from the closet, she held a bath towel in one foreleg, and a toothbrush clinched between her teeth. Chris took the offered items with slight chagrin. ‘At least she didn’t put the bristles in her mouth,’ he reasoned, as he followed Fluttershy to the next door, which she opened in the same manner that she had opened the closet. Upon entry, Chris wasn’t surprised to find that the bathroom was pretty much the same as any other bathroom he’d find on earth. There was a toilet, although it was slightly larger than average, probably to accommodate the larger rear end of a pony. In the back of the room was a spacious bathtub, equipped with a shower head, and, finally, there was a sink that only reached the height of his groin. “…Do you know how to use everything?” Fluttershy asked hesitantly, afraid that she might be insulting Chris’s intelligence. “Don’t worry, this is pretty much what we have back home,” Chris said, as he walked over towards the shower and twisted a knob, turning it on. “See, I know what I’m doing.” Fluttershy smiled. “Okay…I’ll be on my way then.” “Take care and thanks again,” Chris said, only getting a bright smile from Fluttershy as she closed the door behind herself. Elsewhere Knock-Knock! “…Duh fuck is that noise?” Keon grumbled at the sound of knocking on his door. Wiping away the morning sleep from his eyes, he gave out a loud yawn and pulled himself from the comfort of the bed. The knocking continued as he made his way towards the door. “Hold your horses,” he called. The knocking stopped at his command, and Keon opened the door. Looking down through half awaken eyes he was greeted by the sight of one Twilight Sparkle and her dragon compatriot, Spike. Twilight’s expression was that of excitement and eagerness, she was clearly ready to get the day started. Spike, on the other hand, looked about as sleepy as Keon did. Keon quirked his eyebrow and gave out another yawn. “What time is it?” he asked the purple mare as she sauntered past him into his room. “Eight o’clock,” she answered while magically pulling a quill and parchment from her saddle bag. “Eight…so why are we awake again?” Keon asked tiredly as he shut the door and followed Twilight. “I wanted to get an early start on that Q&A,” Twilight explained. “You do have a very busy day after all, early morning was the only time I could fit in our session.” “Oh, yeah, right…meeting with the uh…important people…er I mean, you know what I mean,” Keon trailed off as he made his way towards his backpack. “Give me like thirty minutes before we get started. I need to clean up, I smell like I’ve slept in a pile of jockstraps,” he finished, as he pulled out a fresh pair of boxers and socks, along with his bitch-assness shirt Pinkie had been wearing. “…Well, okay then, just try not to take too long,” Twilight called after Keon. “Sure, just play around on my netbook or something, if you get bored,” Keon said as he opened the bathroom door and shut it behind himself. ‘Well, this should be a fun day,’ Keon mused as he stared at himself in a mirror. ‘I get to play the role of leader of humanity at this tea-party of sapient animals and mythical creatures.’ He laughed at the ridiculousness of the whole thing, mostly him being the representative of the entire human race. Sure, he was a model citizen right, hell no. “And my mom’s boyfriend said I wouldn’t amount to shit, shows how much that fucker knows.” ‘Oh, who am I kidding? I’m in over my god-damn head,’ Keon thought, letting out a bemused chuckle. Taking a seat on the edge of a bathtub big enough to fit Celestia comfortably, he turned the knobs and let it begin to fill. Grabbing some nearby bubble baths, he dumped in a generous amount of whatever scents they were and watched as the suds began to form. Admittedly, he wasn’t much for baths, since showers were quicker, but at least he could doze off in the tub for a little while. Any extra Z’s he could get would be well worth the effort, he reasoned. Once the tub had filled, he stripped himself and slid in. “Fucking hot!” he hissed through clenched teeth, willing himself to stay in the water. After a minute or so, he became accustomed to the temperature and began to shut his eyes, only to have them fly open at the sound of Pinkie’s voice. “Watcha doin'?!” Pinkie shouted. “Oh, duh, you’re taking a bath, I just love baths! The bubbles and suds are so fun to play with, especially when you rub them on your snout like this!” Keon was simply speechless as he stared at Pinkie, then at the door, which was still closed, then back to Pinkie. “…How did you get here?” Keon asked once he recovered his voice. “Well, you’d have to ask my parents that, Silly.” Pinkie said with a simple shrug. Keon slapped his forehead. “No, no, no, no… I mean in the fucking tub with me!” “Easy I put in one hoof at a time and got in,” Pinkie answered as though it weren’t a big deal. “Why? Is there something wrong with me being in here with you?” Keon slinked away from Pinkie who had moved in too close for comfort. “Yeah, I’m sorta naked in here.” Pinkie gasped. “What a coincidence, I am too!” “It’s different,” Keon deadpanned. “Now, do me a solid and get out!” he shouted while pointing his index finger towards the door. Pinkie’s ears fell and her bottom lip quivered. “You don’t have to be so grouchy, you know,” she said as she stood up and hopped out of the tub. Keon sighed, “Now look, I wasn’t trying to be mean, it’s just there are two things I like to do in private: jacking-off and scrubbing my ass.” “Okie dokie lokie,” Pinkie responded, her cheerful demeanor returning in full. “But before I go, I have some super-duper, extra good news.” “I’m all ears.” Keon feigned interest. Pinkie grinned from ear to ear. “Guess what pony was put in charge of all the planning for your reception party!?” Keon stared at Pinkie with a blank expression, his eyes focusing on the three balloons printed on both sides of her flank. “…Spike?” he said nonchalantly. “Spike!?” Pinkie repeated, having missed the sarcasm, or at least playing along, Keon really couldn’t tell. “It’s me silly,”Pinkie said while sticking her rear into the air, and pointing at the balloons. “I’m the best when it comes to everything partying.” “Really? Somehow I doubt you know what a kegger is,” Keon said, as he let out a small chuckle and folded his arms behind his head. “So, tell me my pink friend, what’s your idea of a good party?” Pinkie placed her hoof under her chin in a thinking pose. “Well, first it would have to have lots of balloons, party favors, party hats, pin the tail on the pony, musical chairs, sack racing, juice, cookies and cake!” Keon face palmed. “Pinkie, please, stop right there.” Pinkie reluctantly ended her monologue. “Not that all that doesn’t sound… great, but you won’t be entertaining children at this reception. The guest list is probably full of dignitaries, AKA, important, uptight, blue bloods that just want to stand around mingling, sipping on wine and spritzers.” Keon explained to Pinkie, who seemed to be taking in what he was saying with careful consideration. “As a rule of thumb you can’t end a good party without someone passed out on the floor, preferably me. You can’t achieve that by playing birthday games. Are you sure you can handle a party in need of more adult themes?” “Hey! I’m no one trick pony,” Pinkie countered, as she pulled a list from seemingly nowhere. “You only asked what I thought was a good party, doesn’t’ mean I can’t throw them all,” she said as her eyes scanned over a list of party types and what was needed to throw them. “Let’s see, birthday party, wedding, hearts and hooves, nightmare night, glad you’re not dead, welcome to Ponyville, graduation party, frat party.” Pinkie stopped listing off the names, as her eyes widened and she beamed something fierce. “That’s it, I found just what you had in mind!” she said while rolling the list back up and sticking it into her mane, that swallowed it whole. ‘There goes something else I can check off on my "weird shit I’ve seen" list,’ Keon mused as Pinkie beamed at him. “Well, I’ve got a lot of things to get ready for tonight,” Pinkie said, as she began to bounce towards the door but stopped. “Oh, and since you like privacy while you clean yourself, I should probably tell Gummy to get out of the tub then, huh?” “Who’s Gummy?” Keon asked offhandedly, content to believe that there was no one else crazy enough to sneak into the tub with him. “My pet alligator,” Pinkie said with a large grin. “A pet alligator, huh? How cute, an imaginary pet,” Keon humored Pinkie, now relaxing further into the tub, only to shift back into an upright position as he felt something rough brush against his leg. ‘What the hell was that?’ Keon thought, trying to peer through the suds. It didn't take long for his eyes to meet with a pair of pale purple ones that broke the surface of the water, followed by a long, light green, scaly body. “Aggggghhhaaaaa, it’s a fucking alligator!” Keon screamed, as he flew out of the tub with unprecedented speed, but not before catching his foot on the side of the tub. He went skidding into Pinkie, sending them both tumbling to the ground, with him landing on her in an awkward straddle. Twilight had chosen that moment to burst into the bathroom. “What in the hay is going on in here!?” she asked while looking around frantically, only to spot Keon and Pinkie in a rather compromising position. “Pinkie!” Twilight gasped in shock. “What are you doing?” “It’s not what it looks like!” Keon shouted, as he hastily got off Pinkie and covered his homeboys with his hands. “It was Gummy’s fault,” he added, nodding his head towards the tub, where a three foot long alligator was swimming to and fro. Twilight looked from Gummy to Keon and finally to Pinkie, who’d been uncharacteristically quiet throughout the entire exchange. “…Well, it was just an accident right?” “Yeah, an accident,” Keon said while nodding his head up and down. “Right, Pinkie? Just an accident.” Pinkie slowly nodded “…Yep, one silly thing led to another and, well, I gotta go,” Pinkie said, as she trotted to the tub and grabbed Gummy. “See yah, Twilight! See yah, Keon!” she finished, before dashing out of the bathroom. Both Twilight and Keon watched the bubbly mare leave with confused expressions on their faces. “Well, that was weird, even for her,” Twilight stated with a quirked brow. “You sure you two weren’t doing anything I should know about?” “Twilight, I’m a human and there was an alligator involved, how kinky do you think your friend is?” Keon asked, now searching for a towel to at least appear decent. “I don’t know, I never really considered what Pinkie does in private,” Twilight answered with a thoughtful expression before she shuddered slightly. “On second thought, I don’t believe I want to know.” Keon shrugged “So, why the hell does she have a pet gator in the first place? Doesn’t she know how dangerous that is?” Keon asked, now searching through a cabinet for a bath towel. “I’ve handled hatchlings that I’ve gotten nasty bites from. One of Gummy’s size could take an arm off.” “Not Gummy, he doesn’t have any teeth,” Twilight explained. “That doesn't make any sense,” Keon argued. “An alligator will constantly replace lost and damaged teeth. Even if you removed them all, they’d just grow back in.” “I’ve learned that if it involves Pinkie, don’t bring logic into the equation,” Twilight returned with a simple shrug. “I’ll take your word for it,” Keon said, as he finally located a towel and wrapped his midriff with it. “Well, now that I’m finished with the most unsuccessful bath in history, what’s next?” “That Q&A.” Twilight beamed. “Fine,” Keon grumbled as he retrieved the clothes he had brought in and headed towards the door. “Oh, yes, I’d almost forgot, but I managed to find an educational film on your netbook,” Twilight stated with an enthusiastic grin. “Educational?” Keon repeated. “Trust me, there’s no educational videos on my netbook.” Twilight looked confused, before she asked, “Then what do you consider those films visually documenting the mating practices of humans?” Keon’s eyes slightly twitched at what Twilight had said. ‘This day just keeps getting better, now they found their way into my porn stash.’ Keon shook his head. “How do I break this to you? Would you consider an erotic novel about ponies getting intimate with each other an educational read?” “Well, no, I suppose not,” Twilight said with a blush, before something dawned on her and her eyes widened. “Sweet Celestia, I left it running and Spike may have gotten curious!” she shouted before dashing into the room, desperate to stop her young assistant from viewing the perverse content. Keon quickly followed her, he figured that whatever happened next would at least be interesting. Coming into the room, he could already hear the moans and dirty talk sounding from his netbook's speaker. By a stroke of luck or misfortune, Twilight had chosen a particularly naughty video to open, and Spike was clearly viewing it. Keon grimaced at Spikes transfixed stare. As far as porn was concerned, most were introduced to it by implied sex scenes in movies. This was comparable to having a shot of Absolut Vodka as your introduction to alcohol, as opposed to a sip of your dad’s beer. Spike would have been in for one hell of a ride if Twilight hadn't been intent on stomping on the breaks. “Spike, turn that off right now! It’s not something you should be viewing,” Twilight commanded of Spike, whom seemed too transfixed to pay her any mind. “Wow, Spike, that’s pretty gnarly that you’re into human on human action,” Keon said choking back a laugh as he slammed the netbook shut. Spike returned to his senses the moment the netbook was shut. “Hey, turn that back on.” “No can do, Shorty. Twilight will have my head if I corrupt you anymore,” Keon said as he shoved a pillow between Spike’s legs. “You can thank me later for that.” Spike looked at the pillow between his legs, and he blushed furiously. He wanted nothing more than to simply fade from existence. “Uh…thanks,” he mumbled. “Just make sure you take that pillow when you leave. The last thing I want is to end up sleeping on it after your red rocket has been in it,” Keon said, giving the dragon an affectionate nuggie, which he instantly regretted. “Damn, what are these scales made of anyway?” Keon grumbled now nursing his raw knuckles. Twilight chose that moment to interject herself back into the situation. She needed to perform damage control, post-haste. “Um…Spike perhaps we should talk about what you saw,” Twilight began although slightly hesitant. “You see when a male pony and female pony love each other….well in this case a male human and…no, no, no, let’s start over. You see all living organisms have an inherent instinct to reproduce, that will come with sexual maturity. What you saw was sexual reproduction, which is the creation of new life by combing the genetic material of two organi…” “Twilight.” Keon cut her off in the middle of her drawn out explanation. “He’s embarrassed enough, it’s probably better to just drop it.” “But,” Twilight began to protest but stopped as she took notice of Spike, who was trying his best to appear invisible. “Wouldn’t it be less awkward if you let Spike talk to another dragon about this, or at least another guy?” Keon asked. “We’re pretty low on male options,” Twilight admitted. Keon scratched his stubble. “Considering that this is sorta my fault, maybe I could teach Spike about the birds and the bees?” Keon offered. “I’m no dragon, but at least I’m another guy, hell it was my brother that taught me how things were done.” “Uh…well, I don’t know,” Twilight said with a sheepish grin. She figured Keon wouldn’t be very delicate in his explanation, and Spike was such an impressionable little dragon. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep it in his demographic,” Keon assured Twilight with a devious smirk. “Well, if you’re absolutely sure then…okay,” Twilight finally relented, although she felt she would probably regret that decision. “Good, just try to squeeze in some man to man time for me and Spike sometime today,” Keon said, while he slid on his boxers underneath the towel and proceeded to dress himself for the day. “By the way, what is my schedule looking like anyway?” Twilight lifted a list from her saddle bag. “I have it all written down here,” she said as the list floated towards Keon. He plucked it out of the air and scanned over it. The first order of business was obviously his meeting with Twilight. Secondly, he had a fitting with a pony named Tailor Made, after which he was to have a briefing with Luna on how the summit would proceed. Following that, the summit itself would commence, ending with the reception party. “At least I know I don’t have a shortage of things to do for today,” Keon said while handing the parchment back to Twilight. “Who’s Tailor Made anyway?” he asked. “I haven’t met her myself, but she’s a renowned tailor and seamstress here in Canterlot,” Twilight answered. “I hear that there are a lot of ponies that would pay top bit to have something designed by her, at least that’s what I recall Rarity saying.” “Who decided I needed some new threads?” Keon asked as he took a seat on a nearby chair. Twilight sat down in the chair opposite Keon and brought her quill and parchment out once again. “It was Princess Celestia’s idea. She assumed, since humans prefer to be dressed, that you would probably want to wear something more formal for the summit. Speaking of which, have you decided who your escort will be?” “Escort, you mean like protection? `Didn’t realize someone might want to kick my ass at this shindig,” Keon said with a look of confusion. Twilight giggled. “No, not protection, as a courtesy, somepony to keep you company throughout the proceedings,” she explained offhandedly while scribbling some things down on the piece of parchment. “What are the chances that one of those dashing stallion guards will go with me?” Keon said in his best impersonation of a sultry woman. Twilight stared at Keon quizzically. “…Do you really want me to answer that?” Keon burst out laughing at Twilight’s expression. “Of course not, and if you hadn’t noticed, I’m on a first name basis with only five females here. Three of them being princesses, so I couldn’t exactly ask one of them to be my escort, so that leaves Pinkie and you. That is, unless you have a passable chimpanzee I could dress in a gown and take with me.” “Oh…right, I forgot your options are pretty limited,” Twilight said with a bashful grin. “Does that mean you’ll be asking Pinkie?” Keon shrugged. “I don’t know, Pinkie might feel awkward around me after what happened.” “Don’t be silly,” Twilight reasoned. “Pinkie isn’t a pony to dwell on anything too long. She’s more than likely already forgot about that mess in the bathroom. But if you’d rather I be your escort, that’s fine as well. Now, how about we get started, before we run out of time?” Keon was quiet for a moment before he leaned back into his chair. “Alright, fire away.” Twilight grinned excitedly. Meanwhile Chris sniffed the charred remains of what Sweetie Belle swore was a cupcake. Setting the burnt pastry down, Chris grinned uneasily at Sweetie Belle. “Uh, thanks a lot, Sweetie Belle, I think I’ll save this for later.” “No need to lie to her,” Scootaloo piped in. “Everypony knows Sweetie Belle’s cooking isn’t edible. I remember this one time she burned chocolate milk.” ‘How do you burn something you don’t cook?’ Chris wondered as he looked down at Sweetie Belle, who now sporting a downcast expression. “Come now, it’s not that bad,” Chris tried to defend Sweetie Belle, in an effort to cheer her up. “And I’ll prove it,” he said as he chucked the burnt confection into his mouth. Sweetie Belle beamed at seeing someone brave enough to eat her cooking. “So, do you want to be buried in what you’re wearing?” Scootaloo quipped, as she watched Chris power through the cupcake with a stone like expression. “See! I told you I was getting better,” Sweetie Belle said with a triumphant grin. “Ah guess you’re right, he ain’t keeled over yet,” Apple Bloom jested, getting a laugh out of Scootaloo. “Now girls, let’s not let the teasing go too far,” Rarity chimed in. “Not everypony is blessed in the culinary arts after all.” Finally managing to get the cupcake down, Chris cursed his love for children. It would take a week to get the taste of charcoal out of his mouth. “Well, I have to admit, you’re tougher than I gave you credit for,” Dash commented. “Not as tough as me of course,” she added while throwing some punches into the air to make her point. “Ah’d reckon he’s ah might tough to take on them timberwolves in the Everfree,” Apple Bloom said. “I wouldn’t exactly call what I did taking them on,” Chris reasoned. “I was just trying to stay alive.” At that moment Fluttershy and Applejack came through the front door, catching everyone’s attention. “Howdy everypony,” Applejack said, as she shut the door behind herself. “Hello girls, were you able to procure the tickets?” Rarity inquired of Fluttershy and Applejack. “The train for Canterlot leaves at three o’clock,” Fluttershy answered while retrieving the tickets from her saddle bag. Rarity smiled. “Splendid. That will provide us a few hours to make preparations for our leave.” “You know, I really have to thank you girls again.” Chris spoke as Fluttershy provided him with his train ticket. “Whether what I’m doing is the right decision, I’m glad you’re willing to help me. I just wish there was something I could do in return.” “It’s no big deal really,” Dash said dismissively. “But if you don’t want to take our kindness for what it is, then lets just say we’re doing this in the interest of peace with humans or something.” “Ah don’t get why it’s such a hard pill for yah to swallow,” Applejack said with a raised brow. “Don’t humans help one another out when they’re in a fix?” “A good amount do, but even then it’s usually in self interest,” Chris explained. “I just don’t get what you get out of helping me, when there’s literally nothing in return for you.” “The gratification that comes with helping some pony in need. That reward is satisfactory enough, is it not?” Rarity returned with a bright smile. “Now, I believe I must return to my boutique, to make the necessary arrangements for an extended leave of absence.” “Yeah, I need to let the weather patrol team know I’ll be gone for a few days,” Dash added as she hopped from the couch and stretched her wings. “It’s nothing but clear skies scheduled for almost the whole week, so they won’t really need me. But what about you AJ, won't Big Mac need your help on the farm?” “Figured Ah’d hire a farmhoof to pick up the slack while Ah'm away,” Applejack answered. “Lemon’s ain’t ripe for picking yet, so Lemon Drop will probably take the job.” “You sure, that guy’s not just a feather brain, he’s a real creep,” Dash said with a shake of her head. “He hit’s on every mare in his field of vision. Hey, Fluttershy, don’t you remember that one time when he…” “I’d rather not talk about it,” Fluttershy said as she looked away in embarrassment. “Don’t mean any different to me. He ain’t much for bucking trees, but if he can pick apples half as fast as he does lemons Ah don’t care what he does in his own time,” Applejack reasoned. “Ah just need to track him down.” Rainbow Dash shrugged. “Well, should we get going then? The train leaves in three hours after all.“ “Ah reckon we should,” Applejack agreed before turning her attention to Chris. “So, how about it partner? Yah feel like taggin' along with me and having ah look around Ponyville, before you haul off to Canterlot?” “Well...” Chris muttered. “Might as well,” Dash cut in. “You’re gonna have to walk through Ponyville to get to the train station anyway, so there’s really no avoiding it.” Chris turned to Fluttershy whom gave him a soft reassuring smile. “…It’ll be okay, so long as you’re with some pony.” “I guess if you’re sure that I won’t be responsible for a panic, then I’m game,” Chris conceded. “Besides, I was itching to get a glimpse of pony society.” “What about us?” Sweetie Belle chimed in. “Can we go too?” “Actually girls, I have a favor to ask you,” Fluttershy said, instantly receiving the full attention of the three crusaders. “Since I’ll be leaving for a few days, I was hoping you’d be willing to stop by my home to feed the animals. Only if it’s not too much trouble that is,” she added. The crusaders seemed to be thinking hard on the matter before they chorused in unison. “Yay! Cutie Mark Crusader House Sitters!” Chris smirked at the apparent excitement of the three fillies. “I’ve been thinking about what you girls call your trio, so what exactly are these cutie marks you’re crusading for?” “It’s the mark that appears on your flank when you find your special talent,” Scootaloo answered. “We haven’t found our talent yet, so our flanks are still blank,” Sweetie Belle finished. “Huh…you mean an actual mark just appears depicting what you’re good at when you discover it?” Chris asked as his eyes observed each flank present in the room. “Let me guess… magic?” “Now you’re catching on darling,” Rarity said with a nod of approval. Chris was quiet for a moment before he began to chuckle. “What’s so funny?” Apple Bloom asked curiously. Chris looked at Apple Bloom. “I just find it funny that your talents and personalities are directly linked to your names.” Scootaloo stared up at Chris in confusion. “What do you mean by that?” “You mean you girls haven’t realized it yet?” Chris asked skeptically. “Just think about it,” Chris explained, as he pointed to Applejack. “Take your sister for example, her name is Applejack, and she’s an apple farmer. Her name is like a play on words with lumberjack, which is what she does but with apples, hence she has apples as a cutie mark. Rainbow Dash for instance has a three colored lighting bolt cutie mark, and dash is synonymous with speed, and lighting can also be associated with speed. She did tell me she’s the fastest flyer in Equestria after all. I could explain Fluttershy’s and Rarity’s as well but I think you get the point.” “Actually, Ah don’t get it at all,” Apple Bloom said, while Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle nodded their agreement. Chris sighed. “I’m saying, if you want to find your talents, you don’t need to look any further than your own names.” “Are you saying you know what our talents are then?” Scootaloo inquired with a large grin on her face. Chris looked to the four older mares for assistance. If his hypothesis was correct, then he could assume puzzling out their talents would be a simple enough task, but he really didn’t believe it was his place to just out right tell them. As far as he was concerned, finding your cutie was some kind of sacred milestone that everypony would eventually cross themselves. Rarity had picked up on Chris’s silent plea for help and came to his aid. “Now girls, we’ve already been through this, you cannot simply rely on shortcuts when it comes to acquiring your cutie marks.” The crusaders gave a joint “Awww” in response. “Don’t worry girls, you needn’t rush it…you’ll find your special talents someday,” Fluttershy reassured. “Now, how about I show you where I keep all the food for my animal friends?” Their prior vigor returning, they nodded enthusiastically. “Well, okay then.” Fluttershy beamed. “Hey, 'Shy, how bout when yah wrap things up with the crusaders, yah come and find me an Chris?” Applejack said. “I reckon by the time Ah’v found Lemon Drop, and finished showin' Chris round Ponyville, it’d be around the time to head to the train station.” “…Alright, I’ll make sure to come and find you,” Fluttershy said, as she led the crusaders towards the back of her home. “See yah, Chris,” Apple Bloom said before they rounded the corner. “We’ll make sure to come and see yah off at the station before yah leave.” Chris nodded as he made to follow after Rarity, Dash, and Applejack, whom were heading out the front door. Well I don't have much for an authors note, but I feel like I should always try to say something. So uh...screw it I tried.