December 9, 2020
Zecora’s Hut
“In coming to me you’ve chosen rightly,” Zecora said, “for visions are not something to be taken lightly.”
“So, what do I do?” Jack asked.
“What’s seen in visions has meaning,” Zecora said. “It’s into that you should be leaning.”
“You’re saying what I saw was the future?” Jack asked.
“It is as you have deduced,” Zecora affirmed. “But it’s up to you what results are produced.”
“I think I understand,” Jack said. “You’re saying I can use what I’ve seen in my visions to prepare for the future and achieve more favorable results.”
“Good,” Zecora said. “I’m glad my words are understood.”
“Thanks, Zecora,” Jack said, bowing his head
Bon Bon’s Confectionary
After Speaking with Zecora Jack had a craving for something sweet. He wasn’t really feeling like baked goods at the moment, so candy was definitely on the menu. He’d had his eye on this particular candy shop for a few days now and was looking forward to trying its wares. However, no sooner had he opened the door then he was ambushed by a mint green blur.
“Jack!?” Lyra asked. “Long time no see! I heard you’d come back from the Lowcountry, but you never came to see me,” she pouted. “Did you bring me a souvenir?” she asked hopefully.
“Souvenir?” Jack asked. “Uh…” he fished in his pocket for something the human-obsessed mare would be into. Dragging out a Smarties wrapper he said, “here?”
“What is it?! What is it?! What is it?!” Lyra squealed.
“It’s a candy wrapper,” Jack answered nervously. “Smarties are pretty popular in America.”
“Tell me more!” Lyra demanded.
“Uh, their biggest rival is Sweet Tarts which is owned by an Italian company,” Jack began. “While most candy brands are owned by bigger companies Smarties is owned by an independent company of the same name, but I think the candy goes by a different name in other countries to avoid confusion with another candy with the same name. Me and my buddies used to ground them up and snort them like a drug when we were in elementary school.”
“Drugs?” Lyra asked, eyes wide in shock. “I’ve read about those. They’re substances that humans use to make themselves hallucinate, right? You did that as a foal?”
“No, no, no, no!” Jack quickly denied. “Smarties don’t have any hallucinogenic effects. Not all drugs are hallucinogens either, but smarties aren’t drugs. We only did it because the adults made us sit through cringy anti-drug seminars and we thought it was funny.”
“Oh,” Lyra said. “That makes more sense.” Her face brightened up. “So, what brings you here today?”
“I ran out of snacks and heard this place had good candy,” Jack answered. “Figured I’d give it a shot. What brings you here?”
“I live here,” Lyra answered.
“But this is a candy shop,” Jack pointed out.
“My roommate owns the shop,” Lyra explained. “We live in the apartment upstairs.”
“Really?” Jack asked. “That must be nice!”
“Yeah, Bon Bon’s great!” Lyra said. “You want to meet her?”
“I mean I was just about to buy some candy from her,” Jack said.
“Well that will have to wait, she went on the break five minutes ago,” Lyra explained. “Come on in! I’ll introduce you!”
Jack shrugged, “uh, ok,” he said following her inside.
Lyra led him behind the counter into a combination kitchen/living room space similar to what he’d had in his old apartment in Conway.
Standing by the counter eating a hayburger was a familiar mare.
“You were the one who came by Fluttershy’s on Nightmare Night with the free samples!” Jack said. “Wait you’re Bon Bon?”
“I’m pretty sure Lyra told you my name when she introduced us a few months ago,” Bon Bon answered. "And I told you again when we spoke on Nightmare Night."
“I’m so sorry!” Jack apologized with a bow. “I’m terrible with names!”
“That’s fine,’ Bon Bon giggled. “It’s been well over a month since then. I can’t blame you for forgetting.”
"I completely forgot I'd already introduced you two!" Lyra gasped. "My bad."
Jack soon found himself drinking cider with the two mares and having a lively conversation about humanity.
“Oh no our species were idiots!” Jack laughed. “Some people thought Equus is only 6000 years old, and that’s not even scratching the surface! Thousands of humans thought Equus was flat! Flat!” Jack clenched his sides. “Some of them even formed the Flat Equus Society which they bragged had members, get this, all across the globe! The globe!”
“Are you sure they weren’t just having fun?” Lyra asked. “Like the ones who said birds were robots your government used to spy on people?”
“Oh no,” Jack responded catching his breath. “They were dead serious!”
“Well, this has been an interesting conversation, but I need to get back to work,” Bon Bon said.
Jack felt a weight in his pocket as she passed. Reaching inside he found a note that wasn’t in there before.
Meet me in the park at 18:00
Jack looked back to see Bon Bon passing through the door.
Ponyville Park
18:00 was 6:00 PM in military time. Jack was immensely suspicious of Bon Bon’s motives, but he’d decided to throw caution to the wind and meet at the designated time. “Is this some sort of trap?” he wondered, passing by a sizable oak. “But what would she have to gain?”
“Pst…” a voice whispered from behind the tree. “Over here!”
Jack whipped around to see Bon Bon peeking out from behind the oak. Except she was wearing shades, a tuxedo, and had a grappling hook wrapped around her waist. “What in the name of Comicon are you wearing?” he asked.
Clearly, this wasn’t meant to be an ambush. Letting his guard down a bit Jack followed Bon Bon behind the tree to see she was accompanied by two other ponies, former representative Time Turner and Ponyville’s lazy-eyed mail mare Derpy Hooves.
“What… is this?” Jack asked.
“We are agents of the EIA,” Bon Bon said.
“Huh?” Jack asked. “Bon Bon, what the Hell is the EIA?”
“The name is Sweetie Drops,” Bon Bon said. “Bon Bon is just an alias I’ve been using since I retired from monster hunting.” She nodded to the others. “They have them too. Derpy Hoove’s real name is Ditzy Doo and Time Turner here is Hourglass Whooves.”
“I prefer Doctor Whooves, actually,” Time Turner said. “I didn’t get a Ph.D. at the Royal Academy of science for nothing!”
“The EIA is Equestria’s intelligence agency,” Sweetie Drops explained. “It was established in Article 5 of Equestria’s Constitution just last month. I’m a field agent, but these two are both members of our research and weapons development branch.”
“I guess it makes sense that Equestria would take ques from more modern aspects of American government,” Jack noted. “But why are you telling this to me? Shouldn’t you keep your assignments on a need-to-know basis?”
“Well considering you are our assignment,” Sweetie Drops said. “I’d say you need to know.”
“What?!!” Jack gasped.
“Apart from the Alicorn Princesses, your Chaos of Nature is Equestria’s most dangerous military asset,” Doctor Whooves said. “Your enlistment in the E.U.P is classified Top Secret and while you’ve proven effective in battle you’ve also shown yourself to be insubordinate and you have a clear animosity towards the president.”
“So, you’re here to assassinate me if I go rogue?” Jack asked, his heart pounding as his fight or flight instinct kicked in.”
Ditzy Doo nodded. “That’s right.”
Seeing Jack was about to make a break for it Sweetie Drops tossed her grappling hook in front of his legs, causing him to trip. “You don’t have anything to worry about now,” she said. “You haven’t been designated a threat.”
“Our orders, for now, are to help develop your powers and increase your potency as an asset,” Doctor Whooves explained.
“And how do you plan to do that?” Jack grunted; face planted in the ground.
“Simple,” Doctor Whooves answered. “Ditsy?”
“Yes, Doctor?” Ditzy asked.
“You can release the bugbear now.”
“The what now?” Jack gulped.
Ditzy pulled out a remote and pressed a large red button. To Jack’s horror, a cage opened from across the park revealing what looked to be a cross between a panda and a hornet.
“How’d we miss that?” Emerald Jack asked.
“I don’t know!” Jack snapped.
“The Doctor wants to get a feel for what you are capable of,” Sweetie Drops explained. “Be sure to show everything you have, so he can get good data!”
“I’m beginning to think I don’t like any of you!” Jack snapped, leaping into action. “That stinger looks like it could do some real damage. Some armor wouldn’t hurt.”
Plunging his right fist into the oak tree, he stripped a layer of wood from the trunk and encased himself with his wooden armor. By this point, the bugbear had spotted him and was charging stinger first. Jack stripped about five dozen leaves from the tree and launched his razer projectiles toward the stinger.
Unfortunately, this had no effect and Jack had to dive out of the way as the stinger plunged into the ground he had been standing on. Unfortunately, he dove just in range of the bug bear’s jaw, and it clamped down on his torso.
“His armor’s impressive,” Sweetie Drops noted.
“The PSI of the average bugbear’s jaw is 5,000,” Time Turner noted. “Certainly, more than enough to crush oak. His magic must be reinforcing the wood in his armor.”
“What does PSI mean?” Ditzy asked.
As Doctor Whooves explained the concept to the confused mare Jack aimed three successive emerald blasts at the bugbear’s right eye. The sudden shock of his attack prompted the jaw to loosen just enough for Jack to roll out and plunge his fist back into the tree.
By Jack’s will the mighty oak exploded, jettisoning splintery shrapnel into the bugbear’s hide. The beast let out a roar of fury and swiped at Jack, who rolled to the side and shot a root out of the ground to bind the offending paw.
Slightly distracted Jack didn’t notice the stinger coming for his chest until it was too late. The bugbear’s weapon punched straight through Jack’s armor smashing it to pieces.
“Oh no!” Ditzy gasped. “He’s gonna die!”
“Take a closer look, my dear,” the Doctor instructed.
“Heh, heh,” Jack chuckled. “You knocked the wind out of me!”
To Ditzy’s surprise, Jack’s flesh had turned into mahogany wood, providing an extra layer of defense.
“Time to end this!” Jack shouted releasing thousands of spores into the air around the beast’s face.
The bugbear staggard before falling face first into….
“Oh shit!” Jack cried, realizing his folly. He was now trapped under the dying bear.
“This should suffice!” Doctor Whooves exclaimed. “Ditzy, could you get the winch?”
“Of course, Doctor!” Ditzy agreed.
“No need,” Jack said. In a flash, his body disappeared in a flurry of leaves that traveled through the air before reforming his body next to the Doctor.
“Fascinating!” the Doctor said, rushing off to organize his notes. Ditzy followed closely after him.
“Excellent work, there,” Sweetie Drops said. “Even I’d have trouble with a bugbear that size but you made it look easy. If only I had, you by my side when I was hunting the queen bugbear.” She sighed sadly, “things could have gone differently.”
Jack wasn’t in the mood for backstories, so he cut to the chase. “Why did Celestia send you, really?”
“The Elements of Chaos are on the move,” Sweetie Drops answered. “From what we’ve learned interrogating Blue Blood, many more of our troops have defected to their side, and they’ve been getting financial support from some of Equestria’s wealthiest ponies. We didn’t get any names though. Blutknochen is building a massive army. We don’t think he’ll be launching a massive attack any time soon, but he certainly still has his eyes on you. We can’t afford to lose you.”